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Can’t do it with my wife ….

justhuncho

Member
Jan 4, 2024
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I'm 70 years old and I have known only 1 or 2 guys who said that they were happy with their married sex lives. Almost everyone I've known said how inhibited their wives were and how puzzling that is. Sex is free, fun and should lead to relationship intimacy, so what's the problem exactly. Our culture sure does a number on us.

Now I admit that this is one-sided, as we're not hearing what women say about this. Maybe lots of guys are repulsive slobs, how would I know. But my first wife would not let me eat her or give her massages, by far my favourite things to do. I did eat her once, about 8 years into our relationship, and she said that she really enjoyed it and I could tell that was true, but she never let me do it again. Why the f**k not, I wondered. Once I've been turned down a few times, I stop trying, how many blows to my ego am I supposed to take. How many damn dragons am I supposed to slay? Other partners reported having a good time with me, so I'm pretty sure I was at least ok at it.

This whole area is one of the biggest mysteries of my life. Pretty much all the long-term attached guys I've known just sit there and shake their heads, don't understand. But it's not pleasant watching the best years of your life fly past knowing you're not having your share of fun. LIfe isn't about paying off a damn mortgage and mowing the lawn.

One pf my best friends, now deceased, was married to a lady who claimed to be asexual. She was quite forthright about it, she simply did not care about sex. Funny how that only came to the surface a few years after they were married. The thing is, if she really did not care about sex, then it should not matter to her if her husband sought solace elsewhere. But she insisted that since she didn't want sex, then he would simply have to go along. She would reluctantly agree to it every year or two, and the sessions were literally, "Are you done yet?". They had a young daughter so he didn't want to end things. Needless to say, he had an endless string of affairs. And I cheered him on.

I am so sick and tired of all the sanctimonious laws on the books that make sex between consenting adults illegal because a few bucks change hands. And the recent rise of the Christian Taliban in the US and in many places in Canada make me seethe with rage. Who the f**k are these assholes to tell me how to live?
Christian Taliban is hilariously accurate, I‘m not married but with a few of my ex’s who were super religious I couldn’t stand how one sided any form of intimacy would be. It always would feel one sided with me almost always having to initiate the flirting and foreplay, and I would have to be super careful when choosing timing otherwise she’d treat me like an asshole for the rest of the week. With massages/daty/dfk/fs, etc. I would always receive a mix of compliments and questions on how I got so good at it (btw if ever asked never say through experience, I just say I must have a gift) but rarely felt the same way back. I had one super religious ex that literally refused to give me head right after I went down on her because of her hypocritical morals, I was so pissed because it literally killed the entire mood and when I started getting dressed (I respect no means no and consent but that doesn’t mean I have to continue to pleasure you while getting nothing in return) she all of a sudden changed her mind but once that line is crossed there is no going forward for me and I ended things a few days later because the reasoning she gave me was she heard in a sermon that it wasn’t allowed but she understood why I felt like she was a hypocrite. Other times I don’t bring up certain kinks/fantasies because I’ve seen nasty arguments/breakups/divorces lead to certain women completely disrespecting or outing their kinks/fetishes. With reputable SP’s (and recently a sensual dom) and proper prior communication I have been able to explore and hone in various fantasies/skills in the bedroom without judgement and unlike many of my prior relationships it usually feels like the effort/enthusiasm is more mutual (especially with regulars). The only thing that I prefer about more regular relationships/dating is the thrill of the chase, being able to go out on dates, discovering more about each other, no set time limits, if things move ahead introduce them to friends and family, etc. But there are SP’s that go on social dates, events, travel, etc. I’ve just never done so because I’ve seen/heard of guys falling down that rabbit hole of thinking an SP/Stripper/etc. is their girlfriend/in love with them and not respecting the true nature of the arrangement. But who knows maybe I’ll give it a shot one day, I’ve always liked the thought of taking one of my regulars on a more formal outing to a restaurant/cafe/lounge or to a museum/gallery/event before driving back to the hotel/incall etc. for the fireworks. I think overall with a reputable SP and proper prior communication you can really plan an amazing session filled with all mutually agreed upon fantasies/kinks/fetishes/etc. with no judgement and worse comes worse you don’t have to worry about the vindictive ex lying about or outing them to your entire social circle.
 

Pinkpanther80

Well-known member
Aug 4, 2019
154
324
63
Honesty kind of sad how many guys on here in a commited relationship or married and visiting escorts. Even in my shitty marriage I never went and paid someone but that’s just me. Just hope that most aren’t hypocrites if their gfs or wives also have some side dick.
call me crazy but sneaking around on someone is just dumb and you should probably just stay single as it’s easier.
 

Slobus

Well-known member
Mar 11, 2021
422
916
93
Honesty kind of sad how many guys on here in a commited relationship or married and visiting escorts.
Why?

Polyamory ('loving' more than one person at once) is literally the human condition. Humans have relationships on many different levels: romantic, familial, professional, spiritual, carnal, association, etc.

Christian Taliban indeed.
 

bruised

Active member
Jan 2, 2014
73
140
33
Thank you for your post, Alison. I not sure if you got your answer, but it certainly prompted a worthwhile discussion, and more likely therapy for many. My reasons for visiting SPs and MAs has little to do with exploring new activities I'm not getting at home. Like many, I'm not getting the basics at home. I've been pretty patient and I would be satisfied by simply getting off (vanilla sex and foreplay) with my SO once and a while. I wouldn't need much more to stop me from visiting SWs. I agree with others that have said this hobby has saved their marriages. I have to admit that after visiting a SW, instead of feeling guilt, I feel exhilaration and satisfaction. I don't think I'll ever give up hobbying, but I need to start worrying about becoming addicted, spending a fortune and getting caught. Can't get too complacent.
 
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Joyrection

Well-known member
Oct 22, 2023
463
559
93
Honesty kind of sad how many guys on here in a commited relationship or married and visiting escorts. Even in my shitty marriage I never went and paid someone but that’s just me. Just hope that most aren’t hypocrites if their gfs or wives also have some side dick.
call me crazy but sneaking around on someone is just dumb and you should probably just stay single as it’s easier.
You do you, and mind your own business.

The reasons why men and women cheat are vast and varied, it doe not always mean their marriages are failures or that they don't love their spouses.
I don't judge because I don't walk in other people's shoes. My wife has certain no go areas and I respect her choices. That does not mean I am going to deprive myself, life is too short.
 

Pinkpanther80

Well-known member
Aug 4, 2019
154
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63
You do you, and mind your own business.

The reasons why men and women cheat are vast and varied, it doe not always mean their marriages are failures or that they don't love their spouses.
I don't judge because I don't walk in other people's shoes. My wife has certain no go areas and I respect her choices. That does not mean I am going to deprive myself, life is too short.
Like I said it’s not something I would do and my opinion but does your wife know that you visit escorts?? If she does and she’s ok with it then great but if she doesn’t know then that tells me all I need to know about you as a person.
 
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Pinkpanther80

Well-known member
Aug 4, 2019
154
324
63
Why?

Polyamory ('loving' more than one person at once) is literally the human condition. Humans have relationships on many different levels: romantic, familial, professional, spiritual, carnal, association, etc.

Christian Taliban indeed.
Big difference in if your partner is aware and on with this or you are doing it on the sly….
 
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Joyrection

Well-known member
Oct 22, 2023
463
559
93
Like I said it’s not something I would do and my opinion but does your wife know that you visit escorts?? If she does and she’s ok with it then great but if she doesn’t know then that tells me all I need to know about you as a person.
Like I give a rats ass what you think of me. You don't that see me passing judgement on a single man who can't sustain a normal adult relationship with a grown woman and instead seeks SP for sexual gratification.
 

Pinkpanther80

Well-known member
Aug 4, 2019
154
324
63
Like I give a rats ass what you think of me. You don't that see me passing judgement on a single man who can't sustain a normal adult relationship with a grown woman and instead seeks SP for sexual gratification.
I’m not the one who can’t sustain a normal adult relationship with a grown woman who still sees escorts on the down low but yeah please go on…..
 

TigerFlex5

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2018
644
860
93
Honesty kind of sad how many guys on here in a commited relationship or married and visiting escorts. Even in my shitty marriage I never went and paid someone but that’s just me. Just hope that most aren’t hypocrites if their gfs or wives also have some side dick.
call me crazy but sneaking around on someone is just dumb and you should probably just stay single as it’s easier.

I'm about to cry...😭😭😭
Bad men🤬.... really really bad men...
How dare you... such bad men... how sad it is to see how some men 😷.....

For your info:

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!!!
 

CuddleBuddy2

Sensuality Seeker
May 20, 2018
573
600
93
Honesty kind of sad how many guys on here in a commited relationship or married and visiting escorts. Even in my shitty marriage I never went and paid someone but that’s just me. Just hope that most aren’t hypocrites if their gfs or wives also have some side dick.
call me crazy but sneaking around on someone is just dumb and you should probably just stay single as it’s easier.
Forgive me father for I have sinned 😝
Seriously though dude, Men are wired to spread their seeds. It's in our DNA. Blame nature 😁.
It's not like the men here are having an affair.
And there are other things besides sex in a relationship that keeps couples together.

Good for you for being faithful. You do you but no need to be judgey. If you're looking for like minded people then you're on the wrong forum bud.

I can't see myself eating the same food everytime. I'm in this "hobby" for variety, for the experiences. However when I'm dating someone I play safe so my gf doesn't catch anything because of my horny choices.
Maybe when I'm married I'll stop eating out. Who am I kidding. I don't think I'll ever stop 😂

They say " You won't regret the things you did but the things you didn't do, when you had the chance". Replace things with women. Thats my motto 😂
 

source

Active member
Jul 11, 2007
285
198
43
My wife will only engage in sex when she's drunk. Problem is, I can't stand her when she's drunk
A saying that was quite popular in my younger days when I lived in QCity:

"Le vin est très bon pour l'homme, surtout quand c'est la femme qui le boit."
 
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Josephine

Making your life special
Nov 6, 2023
459
808
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Etobicoke
A saying that was quite popular in my younger days when I lived in QCity:

"Le vin est très bon pour l'homme, surtout quand c'est la femme qui le boit."
Moi j'avais entendu "Le vin de Bourgogne fait beaucoup de bien aux femmes, surtout quand ce sont les hommes qui le boivent."

I guess it goes both ways! For different reason.
 
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honeybear69

Well-known member
Feb 4, 2019
349
537
93
This thread has been a very entertaining read. From people pre-judging, to back and forth angry posts, language changes.....(I had to use Google translate). Each of us does what we do for our own reasons. If people want to pre-judge me.....meh.....Go ahead.....your opinion. But remember for the most part nobody really knows each other outside of here. Might be your neighbour, your boss, co-worker, guy who just made your espresso at Star Bucks, or the guy who just cut you off on the Queensway, in the end we are people. Just like the ladies who either as MA/SP/ or Hybrid, have their reasons for doing what they do.....you can go ahead and do the same....pre-judge them. In the end we are all doing the same thing. BUT!!! Always a BUT! You CAN'T call out others for doing what you are doing for their own reasons....and then hold yourself up on a pedestal and say you are better. You are the same.....and yes that is HB69.....at the base of your pedestal with a sledge hammer about to swing again!! "MIC DROP!!". I hope this all makes sense I have been drinking......don't judge me....holiday Sunday!!
HB69......was here!?!?!
 
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Joyrection

Well-known member
Oct 22, 2023
463
559
93
This thread has been a very entertaining read. From people pre-judging, to back and forth angry posts, language changes.....(I had to use Google translate). Each of us does what we do for our own reasons. If people want to pre-judge me.....meh.....Go ahead.....your opinion. But remember for the most part nobody really knows each other outside of here. Might be your neighbour, your boss, co-worker, guy who just made your espresso at Star Bucks, or the guy who just cut you off on the Queensway, in the end we are people. Just like the ladies who either as MA/SP/ or Hybrid, have their reasons for doing what they do.....you can go ahead and do the same....pre-judge them. In the end we are all doing the same thing. BUT!!! Always a BUT! You CAN'T call out others for doing what you are doing for their own reasons....and then hold yourself up on a pedestal and same you are better. You are the same.....and yes that is HB69.....at the base of your pedestal with a sledge hammer about to swing again!! "MIC DROP!!". I hope this all makes sense I have been drinking......don't judge me....holiday Sunday!!
HB69......was here!?!?!
It's 6am Monday morning brother.🤣
 
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