All you single guys getting up there in age, whats your future marriage plans?

RZG

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Mar 4, 2007
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Us older guys aren't joking.

The only reason imho to get married is to have kids, and so those kids will have 2 parents. Even then, because the kids drain your energy and finances, plus give you and your wife lots to argue about, your marriage will likely be unhappy despite the fact that you both will love your kids whether they turn out to be great or problematic.

If you marry for sex and passion that will wear off, and unless you're best friends with your wife and have mutual interests you'll end up more unhappy and feeling alone if you stay married, than if you had remained single and just dated or hobbied.

If the current divorce rate is maybe 50%, and after 2 marriages and divorces I know just how unhappy you have to be before you'll actually think it's worth going through the cost and hassles of getting a divorce. And in looking at married couples I have known, I would say maybe 10% of them remained truly happy in their long term marriages.

I know there are guys who absolutely have to have a woman in their life as a sex partner or even just a companion/caregiver/New Year's date.

But I will never date again as it's far more complicated and expensive than hobbying, and I never have to say to an mpa or sp "Sorry honey, it's not you, it's me."

At well into my 70's I know whereof I speak...
Brilliant!! Remember gentlemen,....pussy is the bait, marriage is the trap and divorce rape is the goal. Proceed at your own peril.
 

superstar_88

The Chiseler
Jan 4, 2008
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Family of 4 in Toronto - 300k at least...
I can live on about 40 grand all expenses no problem in Toronto but I'm also mortgage free.
Rest of my income goes to savings and investments.
Perhaps try staying away from Gucci and Louis Vuitton.

 
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foru2discover

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Jul 25, 2002
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I'm 35 now, spring and summer is coming up and I'm starting to feel a bit of anxiety about the rest of my life in terms of marriage and kids. I've just been having fun up to this point, but the years have crept up on me.

I'm not even sure I want marriage and a kids but I wouldnt want to be alone the rest of my life either.

Part of it is that I havent met anyone who I would even consider marrying. I dated an attractive girl for a year and I knew she was bad for me but I just stuck around because of her looks, and she was fun to be around too. Usually any dating prospects end within a few weeks because we know we don't match. A normal guy might push through it just to get laid, but if I know we don't vibe I don't care, I'll just see a sp to satiate my needs.

Another part of it is just the economy. I make above average money (160k altogether last year), and it affords me an above average bachelor lifestyle. It's not enough to have a comfortable life with a family though. I'm in 0 debt, have good savings, I can quit my job and do whatever I want for a long while if needed.

Married people also seem miserable. I've lost most of my similar aged friends, or see them once a year because they're just exhausted and filled with obligations.

I've thought about just getting married with no kids either but I wouldnt be able to stay faithful. Also I would hate to get bored of each other and just be resentful. If there aren't kids, there isn't really a common goal to keep you together, it's basically just a longterm roommate situation.

These days I'm getting a bit of guilt though. Whenever I come back from a night of heavy drinking and partying, or go on a sp binge, I'll start to just think about the rest of my life. Is it going to be sad to keep this up for the rest of my life?

Is anyone in the same spot? What about you older guys who have been through this? I've met a lot of older guys who tell me never to get married and I dont know if they're joking or not.
Hate to break it to you and others here.....been around the block a couple of times and if you are still here to hobby ...you should not get married or on a serious note get some therapy.....to get answers about yourself. Nothing wrong with that.
Also I hear many people live together for a while first these days before taking the marriage step. Maybe you find a girl that has a kid and does not want more kids or find a woman that does not want kids.
BUT have to tell you my kids got me through some tough times and have no regrets having my kids at all... you may regret later in life not having any kids when you are alone.
If you cant do any of the above dont rush give it another 5 years when you hit 40 you will have a better idea..........Just dont wait too long and a be an OLd boy ........I see those older guys partying like they think they are 20 hanging around dried up scants and alcoholics..sorry
Yes go younger and find a girl that fucks like a hot SP and keeps your cock hard and sore enough that you wont be able to fuck around ;)
No charge for this consult .....next one will be $200 an hour Hey cheaper than an SP LMFAO ;)
 

xmontrealer

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May 23, 2005
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I can live on about 40 grand all expenses no problem in Toronto but I'm also mortgage free.
Rest of my income goes to savings and investments.
Perhaps try staying away from Gucci and Louis Vuitton.

Are you married with at least 2 kids who are not yet out of school and and not yet financially independent?
 

Rose11

Active member
Dec 28, 2022
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I can live on about 40 grand all expenses no problem in Toronto but I'm also mortgage free.
4 people live on 40grand? That includes gas, property taxes, utilities, oil changes for 2 cars, and shopping for 2 kids?

Or did you mean you live on 40 grand as a single person? Which would be a lot. It costs me 18k a year excluding mortgage.
 
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jalimon

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Jan 10, 2016
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Is anyone in the same spot? What about you older guys who have been through this? I've met a lot of older guys who tell me never to get married and I dont know if they're joking or not.
At 36 I was single. I was getting that anxiety thing you feel. I had met so many girl since my early 20's but never felt an urge for a family...

Then all of a sudden I met a girl. She was 33. After 3 months I obviously saw she was different, extremely intelligent and cute as fuck. I said let's do a trip down south together to see if we really get along. But only if you want to have kids.

She was surprised. But then I said I am ok not having kids but not with you. With you I want kids. I just knew it. And I was right.

Luckily I am from Quebec and in Quebec we do not associate marriage with kids. Actually we pretty much do not marry anymore here.

So I had my first kid at 38 and second at 40. We no longer live together since I am 45. But we remained great friends and wonderful parents.

Fucking best decision of my life.

Without kids I would already be retired now. But kids are priceless for me.
 

NotADcotor

His most imperial galactic atheistic majesty.
Mar 8, 2017
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Wrong convention. You need to go to ones where cosplay and anime are. That attracts women a lot more. Back in the 90's I attended several conventions. Being 6'3" decent shape, not creepy I got serious action. Just needed a room on site.

Now due to age go with Facebook groups that have meet and greets. Usually around books, tv shows, and genres. Facebook because thats an age tell. You will find fellow middle agers there. Its a casual setting where you can set yourself up as normal with a sense of humor. Then at the meet and greet you have a base.

As to your health, do something about it. Walk, walk, walk, drop the weight, kill the sugar water and sugar food out of your diet. You CAN do it.
In the modern age the cons have all these anti harassment policies because dudes be creepin. The message seems to be these girls want your attention and money but not any sort of meaningful contact. Also I am creepy as fuck, nobody can seem to put a finger on why or what it is, but I get described as creepy more than once. Also I am not into Magma nor child po... I mean anime.
But that's the thing isn't it, they say do things that interest you, well the things *I* am interested in are rather cock heavy [no homo sadly]. I doubt for norms and lesser folk that those anime cons are any better than the gyms in the age of Joey Swole where even walking past a half naked girl at the gym and glancing over for a second gets you labeled a sexual predator. Hell one time at the gym I was told 2 women made complaints about me. Here is the thing, the stuff "I said" I would never say because even I know it's fucked up and I just don't have that level of nerve, I can be friendly but not that direct. I suspect the girls at the counter got some complaints and just assumed it must of been me.

As for facebook groups, I kinda addressed that above, groups tend to be small, all females even remotely obtainable in terms of age tend to be hooked up already yadda yadda yadda. ALso setting myself up as a normal... must be nice. Also again my interests tend to be around dude stuff. Sure there are Kdramas but I am not really the sort of person who wants to talk about them much, I tend to watch and forget. Maybe all those English classes with those idiotic questions killed my interest in discussing such stuff.

As for your third point, you don't even know what sort of health issues I have but good to know you have the solution. I have another friend with different issues, I will pass that information onto him. Sure he is trapped in a wheelchair and can't move anything but I am sure if he cuts off sugar and somehow walks he will drop from even more weight from his emanciated frame and... improve? I never said it was weight, you can travel as a bastard who is fat.
 
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angrymime666

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May 8, 2008
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hello men,

Im almost 51. will be retiring within a year with large enough portfolio to provide for my minimal needs.

marriage and kids. it has crossed my mind. I have parents in their 80s who have been married for over 60 years. I cannot be certain about the happiness in their relationship but they both seems content in their lives. mom and dad take care of each other in their own way. raised 4 kids and it all seemed to work out for them.

Ive always vetted my girlfriends multiple years so I can see them at their best and worst behavior both living together and not. dating, becoming monogamous, living together. so far at year 4 I get the itch and see beyond the sex, feelings and façade. the more time I get to know someone the more things I find that dont jive with my life. they tend to want to pursue their own lives and not follow the path I walk. I consider myself the leader, and being with a woman who cannot follow my lead is a frustrating and exhausting experience which I have no tolerance for anymore. when you can build your own empire and destiny by yourself; and have a partner who does counter productive actions, it makes you question the necessity of having relationships that destroy your life. if someone cannot bring value to your life in a way significant to you the leader, then why keep them around.

at 50, having a permanent partner and raising a family sounds very picturesque and would possibly provide some personal satisfaction, growth and new relationship(kids). it would give me the chance to create something, do something I have never done, shape a child into a successful person, build a family structure that could possible care for me in my old age.

the problem is that is a massive risk, which is statistically not in my favor. especially in western countries, perhaps even in third world countries. yes vetting helps, looking for red flag behaviors, looking for green flag behaviors, low body count etc.

I could live a life of hedonism and pooning in many countries and not live in canada. visit the world by myself and see all its wonders. fulfill the remaining goals I have. however a side of me has the delusion of living a little house on the prairie life. I kid you not.

as most of you can read, Im on the fence. logic keeps me grounded while feelings tempt me.
 
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Rose11

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Dec 28, 2022
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Ive always vetted my girlfriends multiple years so I can see them at their best and worst behavior both living together and not. dating, becoming monogamous, living together. so far at year 4 I get the itch and see beyond the sex, feelings and façade.
Vetting gfs for multiple years? Takes 4 years to determine if visions align ? Can't ask them upfront in a few dates? That are they willing to have you as the supreme leader lul.
 
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Moose134

Active member
Jan 7, 2016
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Us older guys aren't joking.

The only reason imho to get married is to have kids, and so those kids will have 2 parents. Even then, because the kids drain your energy and finances, plus give you and your wife lots to argue about, your marriage will likely be unhappy despite the fact that you both will love your kids whether they turn out to be great or problematic.

If you marry for sex and passion that will wear off, and unless you're best friends with your wife and have mutual interests you'll end up more unhappy and feeling more alone if you stay married, than if you had remained single and just dated or hobbied.

The current divorce rate is maybe 50%, and after 2 marriages and divorces I know just how unhappy you have to be before you'll actually think it's worth going through the cost and hassles of getting a divorce. And in looking at married couples I have known, I would say maybe 10% of them remained truly happy in their long term marriages.

I know there are guys who absolutely have to have a woman in their life as a sex partner or even just a companion/caregiver/New Year's date.

But I will never date again as it's far more complicated and expensive than hobbying, and I never have to say to an mpa or sp "Sorry honey, it's not you, it's me."

At well into my 70's I know whereof I speak...
Listen to the wisdom here. So many nuggets. Having been through similar, only thing I’d expand on is if you really want to be shackled up, find someone who is more like your best friend so your friendship is the foundation.

you may also benefit from a perspective change. As I got older, the one “benefit” of marriage is that it brings to the surface each person needs to work on in order to grow. It definitely ain’t easy, but it’s not meant to be, growing isn’t easy. You can grow in many other ways but this was a fast track for me.

its also hard to want to get married when 90% of women in big cities are brainwashed with that boss bitch mentality & not very ‘feminine’…it’s nice to work together as a team with someone to build a life, but it’s hard to do in this part of the world.
 

angrymime666

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May 8, 2008
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Vetting gfs for multiple years? Takes 4 years to determine if visions align ? Can't ask them upfront in a few dates? That are they willing to have you as the supreme leader lul.
yes. a year of dating, a couple years of living together. yes it does. you can ask the questions of marriage kids house etc(which I do) but the nuances of 2 individuals coexisting in a relationship takes time to vet behavior. most successful relationship I know have put in time before they got married and had kids. they knew each other for years and saw the good and the bad before they got married. my mom and dad knew each other since they were kids. my best friend who have been married once knew their partners between 5-10 years before getting married and having kids. time is required when it comes to vetting a persons behavior. a person can only keep their true behavior hidden for only so long. bad attitude, entitlement, combative behavior, poor money management, poor decision making, etc...

why would I let someone make decisions for me when I have made excellent decisions for my own life. why would you stop using a proven methodology or formula for success versus use an unproven formula. to rely on love and feelings are going to make a marriage work is a recipe for disaster.

by all means live your life as you choose, but suffer the consequences of your choices.
 

superstar_88

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Are you married with at least 2 kids who are not yet out of school and and not yet financially independent?
40 grand multiply that by 4 and you have your 160.
 

superstar_88

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Jan 4, 2008
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4 people live on 40grand? That includes gas, property taxes, utilities, oil changes for 2 cars, and shopping for 2 kids?

Or did you mean you live on 40 grand as a single person? Which would be a lot. It costs me 18k a year excluding mortgage.
Single of course I thought that was obvious since how on earth can you live on 40 grand with a wife and 2 kids.
My point was multiply that by 4 and you have your 160.
If you can live on 18K then you just validated my point that you don't need 300 grand for a family of 4.
If you can live on 18K then you can easily live on 160 grand with a wife and 2 kids and perhaps even much less.
I don't quite know why xHab gave you a huge like since you just validated my point that you don't need 300 grand.
 
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Butler1000

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In the modern age the cons have all these anti harassment policies because dudes be creepin. The message seems to be these girls want your attention and money but not any sort of meaningful contact. Also I am creepy as fuck, nobody can seem to put a finger on why or what it is, but I get described as creepy more than once. Also I am not into Magma nor child po... I mean anime.
But that's the thing isn't it, they say do things that interest you, well the things *I* am interested in are rather cock heavy [no homo sadly]. I doubt for norms and lesser folk that those anime cons are any better than the gyms in the age of Joey Swole where even walking past a half naked girl at the gym and glancing over for a second gets you labeled a sexual predator. Hell one time at the gym I was told 2 women made complaints about me. Here is the thing, the stuff "I said" I would never say because even I know it's fucked up and I just don't have that level of nerve, I can be friendly but not that direct. I suspect the girls at the counter got some complaints and just assumed it must of been me.

As for facebook groups, I kinda addressed that above, groups tend to be small, all females even remotely obtainable in terms of age tend to be hooked up already yadda yadda yadda. ALso setting myself up as a normal... must be nice. Also again my interests tend to be around dude stuff. Sure there are Kdramas but I am not really the sort of person who wants to talk about them much, I tend to watch and forget. Maybe all those English classes with those idiotic questions killed my interest in discussing such stuff.

As for your third point, you don't even know what sort of health issues I have but good to know you have the solution. I have another friend with different issues, I will pass that information onto him. Sure he is trapped in a wheelchair and can't move anything but I am sure if he cuts off sugar and somehow walks he will drop from even more weight from his emanciated frame and... improve? I never said it was weight, you can travel as a bastard who is fat.
I can't help anti social. Sorry dude. The anti harassment guidelines were in place at conventions even then. I remember them clearly. Point being you are making a lot of assumptions as well. If you are creepy I can't help that. Except to tell you be less creepy. It takes practice to talk to women. I made lots of mistakes but learned from them.

My interests are also dude. So what? Define dude? You don't like Star Trek?, Star Wars? Stranger Things, Harry Potter or the 100 other properties out there? There are always chicks that do, I see them all the time.

As to health issues you are correct. If they are genetic then I apologize and hope science can help.

But if they are lifestyle then my advice is sound. It starts with habit changing. And BTW creepy vs flirting is a matter of attraction usually. Making yourself more attractive makes you less creepy.
 
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xmontrealer

Well-known member
May 23, 2005
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hello men,

Im almost 51. will be retiring within a year with large enough portfolio to provide for my minimal needs.

marriage and kids. it has crossed my mind. I have parents in their 80s who have been married for over 60 years. I cannot be certain about the happiness in their relationship but they both seems content in their lives. mom and dad take care of each other in their own way. raised 4 kids and it all seemed to work out for them.

Ive always vetted my girlfriends multiple years so I can see them at their best and worst behavior both living together and not. dating, becoming monogamous, living together. so far at year 4 I get the itch and see beyond the sex, feelings and façade. the more time I get to know someone the more things I find that dont jive with my life. they tend to want to pursue their own lives and not follow the path I walk. I consider myself the leader, and being with a woman who cannot follow my lead is a frustrating and exhausting experience which I have no tolerance for anymore. when you can build your own empire and destiny by yourself; and have a partner who does counter productive actions, it makes you question the necessity of having relationships that destroy your life. if someone cannot bring value to your life in a way significant to you the leader, then why keep them around.

at 50, having a permanent partner and raising a family sounds very picturesque and would possibly provide some personal satisfaction, growth and new relationship(kids). it would give me the chance to create something, do something I have never done, shape a child into a successful person, build a family structure that could possible care for me in my old age.

the problem is that is a massive risk, which is statistically not in my favor. especially in western countries, perhaps even in third world countries. yes vetting helps, looking for red flag behaviors, looking for green flag behaviors, low body count etc.

I could live a life of hedonism and pooning in many countries and not live in canada. visit the world by myself and see all its wonders. fulfill the remaining goals I have. however a side of me has the delusion of living a little house on the prairie life. I kid you not.

as most of you can read, Im on the fence. logic keeps me grounded while feelings tempt me.
Imho you waited too long. If you want kids your new wife will probably have to be substantially younger than you. 15 years younger at least. That may be ok when your 50, 51, or 52, but when you're 72 and she's only 57 you may find you prefer a much more sedentary life than she does, and your initial compatibilty may be strained.

Also, don't count on shaping your kids into your perfect vison of what they should become. Even with great parenting and the best of intentions you may be disappointed with how they turn out. And again there's that immense age difference. Best case if you get married this year and your wife gets pregnant right way you'll still be at least 60 when your kids are 8, and 70 when they are 18. And while mature grown-up children may be very supportive to their aging parents, don't expect that from 20 to 30 year olds...
 
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xmontrealer

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May 23, 2005
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Single of course I thought that was obvious since how on earth can you live on 40 grand with a wife and 2 kids.
My point was multiply that by 4 and you have your 160.
If you can live on 18K then you just validated my point that you don't need 300 grand for a family of 4.
If you can live on 18K then you can easily live on 160 grand with a wife and 2 kids and perhaps even much less.
xHab agrees with you also since he gave you a huge like.
If the wife and 2 kids are happy with the bare minimums you might be right. Good luck with that if you ever try it. Be sure your bride-to-be is fully aware of your lifestyle and family spending expectations, including size of residence, number of cars you expect to own, vacations expected, cost of education for the children post high-school, dining out, clothing costs, proper amount of life insurance you carry, etc., etc. She may say "No thanks!"
 
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