SP told me she loves me and I froze

[ExpCharlee]

wow, terb is the Wild West, I'm so glad I signed up. what a story.

when clients tell me they love me, I just say "I know" Han Solo style.

I am actually currently dating a man I met as a client, which was breaking one of my cardinal rules but here we are. He'd never ask me to quit my job, just as I'd never ask him to quit his. It's going great. I'm head over heels for him.

 

[thotbreaker]

I think that has something to do with it. I’m 40 years old and work with the younger SPs and a lot of them are working but also looking for the partner for life. Business does not mix with pleasure but I guess they figure at least their potential client who becomes a partner won’t judge them? I guess that will be a lesson theyll have to learn on their own. I blame the movie Pretty Woman

I get it. I honestly really liked this girl and it didn’t help that on the surface we seemed like friends. If anyone asked she could have easily said we went to school together. We even talked about it. Then we added each other on personal social medias and it blurred lines. My fault, I know.

We don’t talk anymore. I still feel bad about it, because our relationship was “cheapened” to just SP and client, when we actually had so much more.

 

[Azria]

I get it. I honestly really liked this girl and it didn’t help that on the surface we seemed like friends. If anyone asked she could have easily said we went to school together. We even talked about it. Then we added each other on personal social medias and it blurred lines. My fault, I know.

We don’t talk anymore. I still feel bad about it, because our relationship was “cheapened” to just SP and client, when we actually had so much more.

It wasn’t cheapened . It was simply a different dynamic. Don’t let other people’s standards affect how you felt. If it was an authentic relationship that was slightly transactional… It was still authentic regardless. I find I have a couple of clients I adore because there’s a certain honesty with that dynamic. I know sometimes it hurts to lose someone but one thing I’ve learned is that everyone really does serve a purpose. If you can learn one thing for me then be happy and use it in your next dynamic. Xo

 

[DaddySwagBucks]

It's been like 6 months since this thread? We still dating. All the mystery and mistrust shit has mostly been communicated. Our secrets are pretty much on the table now and those secrets were huge, because that's the only way this would work out. We know each other families and we got keys to each other's houses. She pays for majority of our time out, I'm leveraged hard financially to make it or break it at this moment. She even offered to support me if shit goes south for me. I got a huge tax bill and she straight up fronted the cash for me. So we trust each other. Our finances are transparent to each other. Fucking feels weird because I know where her cash is from. She doing this as means to an end and I get it, sucks it's this industry, but bills have to be paid. I accept it already. Does it bother me? Yea, of course. Does it bother her? Yea, she's a person too, but we trying to make it work and plan an exit together. Maybe it doesn't work out, maybe it does. At least we're trying

 

[DaddySwagBucks]

Are you using this thread on Terb to test her resolve or to seek approbation? She undoubtedly reads everything here, and I wonder how you explain your willingness to standby while others deride her character and motives. Do you believe that you are treating her with respect? The woman tells you she loves you, and you are broadcasting your misunderstanding of this here before an audience of complete strangers? Does her job exclude her from having feelings and compassion?

We good.

 

[ziprogers]

I wish I read this a long time ago. You’re a genius. A SP really said she wanted you to meet her parents? I thought I was the only one. How do you respond to that? When she said that to me I freaked the fuck out. Feels so wrong to mention your parents in all this. You have sex with strangers for money and this is the backdrop for how you want me to meet them?

The first time it happened, I ended meeting them. We connected, but was followed by a painful breakup a few months later. That's totally on me; she and I didn't see eye to eye on when/how she would leave the industry. I wasn't mature enough to be open to other possibilities.

The second time it happened, she was below the half-plus-seven-line for me, and it was an easy breakup - I told her that I met someone I was able to emotionally connect with. It was a clean cut - sharp, quick, and no looking back.

 

[princekwekua]

I think that has something to do with it. I’m 40 years old and work with the younger SPs and a lot of them are working but also looking for the partner for life. Business does not mix with pleasure but I guess they figure at least their potential client who becomes a partner won’t judge them? I guess that will be a lesson theyll have to learn on their own. I blame the movie Pretty Woman

Partner for life you say? It happened to me 12 years ago. Super hot babe. Financially shrewd stock market investor. She stopped working and said we should hang out with no commitments. Told her upfront no BF/husband. She said fine. Best 6 months of my life. We frequented top restaurants, sat side by side and made out continuously (jealous dudes staring). I footed the bill happily. Followed by unbelievable sex. CN Tower. Niagara Falls. Wine tours. The works. Then one day she burst out crying. She wanted to get married and have kids. And that was the end of our beautiful relationship. I havent been the same ever since

 

[ziprogers]

It's been like 6 months since this thread? We still dating. All the mystery and mistrust shit has mostly been communicated. Our secrets are pretty much on the table now and those secrets were huge, because that's the only way this would work out. We know each other families and we got keys to each other's houses. She pays for majority of our time out, I'm leveraged hard financially to make it or break it at this moment. She even offered to support me if shit goes south for me. I got a huge tax bill and she straight up fronted the cash for me. So we trust each other. Our finances are transparent to each other. Fucking feels weird because I know where her cash is from. She doing this as means to an end and I get it, sucks it's this industry, but bills have to be paid. I accept it already. Does it bother me? Yea, of course. Does it bother her? Yea, she's a person too, but we trying to make it work and plan an exit together. Maybe it doesn't work out, maybe it does. At least we're trying

I must preface this reply because I'm really not trying to be an asshole here. I'm not advocating an agenda, but I am interested in how you're managing this.

How does your partner feel about you seeing other SPs, especially when she helping to support you financially? I have to presume that you are still an active client, or maybe that you're on hiatus with the intention of going back into the hobby. I mean, why else would you be active on this board, right?

 

[Azria]

Partner for life you say? It happened to me 12 years ago. Super hot babe. Financially shrewd stock market investor. She stopped working and said we should hang out with no commitments. Told her upfront no BF/husband. She said fine. Best 6 months of my life. We frequented top restaurants, sat side by side and made out continuously (jealous dudes staring). I footed the bill happily. Followed by unbelievable sex. CN Tower. Niagara Falls. Wine tours. The works. Then one day she burst out crying. She wanted to get married and have kids. And that was the end of our beautiful relationship. I havent been the same ever since

Sigh. Yes, yes. I’ve heard of this many a time. I don’t understand why some SPs or clients absolutely INSIST on ruining a good thing! Just because that dynamic works amazingly doesn’t mean it’ll be the same in a different context. Man, she sounds like she had a good thing. Bahumbug! Lol.

 

[thotbreaker]

The first time it happened, I ended meeting them. We connected, but was followed by a painful breakup a few months later. That's totally on me; she and I didn't see eye to eye on when/how she would leave the industry. I wasn't mature enough to be open to other possibilities.

The second time it happened, she was below the half-plus-seven-line for me, and it was an easy breakup - I told her that I met someone I was able to emotionally connect with. It was a clean cut - sharp, quick, and no looking back.

I feel you on the painful breakup part. Ultimately I couldn't stomach the idea of her being with other clients anymore after how close we had gotten. It just made me feel like what we had wasn't special. Sometimes guys write a review of her on here and I just have to pretend I didn't see it. One time I accidentally read it and I couldn't stomach it. That was a big reason why I had to end things, it was destroying me inside.

It's been 7 months and I still feel it from time to time. I've dated in my regular life and seen other SPs, but it was the emotional connection I miss the most. I've had "better" sex with other women but what I've realized is as humans we always want what we don't have. I can have all the sex I want, but I miss that intimacy. And I'm sure there are those in intimate relationships who may feel the novelty of a new person would be erotic. There's no right or wrong answer at the end of the day.

 

[bver_hunter]

It's been like 6 months since this thread? We still dating. All the mystery and mistrust shit has mostly been communicated. Our secrets are pretty much on the table now and those secrets were huge, because that's the only way this would work out. We know each other families and we got keys to each other's houses. She pays for majority of our time out, I'm leveraged hard financially to make it or break it at this moment. She even offered to support me if shit goes south for me. I got a huge tax bill and she straight up fronted the cash for me. So we trust each other. Our finances are transparent to each other. Fucking feels weird because I know where her cash is from. She doing this as means to an end and I get it, sucks it's this industry, but bills have to be paid. I accept it already. Does it bother me? Yea, of course. Does it bother her? Yea, she's a person too, but we trying to make it work and plan an exit together. Maybe it doesn't work out, maybe it does. At least we're trying

Well, as long as your families are also on board with your current statuses then just treat her like someone you really care about. It is wonderful of her to even shell out her earnings to help you out of your current financial hardships. But reflect on how you went on a wild spending spree and never really looked to manage your earnings in a more responsible manner for your future endeavours. Wish the two of you all the very best, and your situation is not unique as I came across quite a few Escorts, Strippers and MPAs who eventually hooked up with one of their clients and eventually tied the knot. In fact I also had dated a MPA several years ago. We enjoyed one another's company but agreed not to have a permanent relationship. She moved to a different Province.

 

[DaddySwagBucks]

Well, as long as your families are also on board with your current statuses then just treat her like someone you really care about. It is wonderful of her to even shell out her earnings to help you out of your current financial hardships. But reflect on how you went on a wild spending spree and never really looked to manage your earnings in a more responsible manner for your future endeavours. Wish the two of you all the very best, and your situation is not unique as I came across quite a few Escorts, Strippers and MPAs who eventually hooked up with one of their clients and eventually tied the knot. In fact I also had dated a MPA several years ago. We enjoyed one another's company but agreed not to have a permanent relationship. She moved to a different Province.

It wasn't my spending habits. Logistics hurt my businesses cashflow very badly, plus majority of my assets are not liquid atm, but I gotta pay cap gains so I just needed quick cash to take care of it for now so cra can go suck money from someone else. You can do everything right and things can still go sideways my man.

 

[Valcazar]

It wasn’t cheapened . It was simply a different dynamic. Don’t let other people’s standards affect how you felt.

This, this, a thousand times this.
There are lots of dynamics.
Learn to accept what they are and value them truly rather than judge them by some outside arbitrary standard.

 

[Valcazar]

It's been like 6 months since this thread? We still dating. All the mystery and mistrust shit has mostly been communicated. Our secrets are pretty much on the table now and those secrets were huge, because that's the only way this would work out. We know each other families and we got keys to each other's houses. She pays for majority of our time out, I'm leveraged hard financially to make it or break it at this moment. She even offered to support me if shit goes south for me. I got a huge tax bill and she straight up fronted the cash for me. So we trust each other. Our finances are transparent to each other. Fucking feels weird because I know where her cash is from. She doing this as means to an end and I get it, sucks it's this industry, but bills have to be paid. I accept it already. Does it bother me? Yea, of course. Does it bother her? Yea, she's a person too, but we trying to make it work and plan an exit together. Maybe it doesn't work out, maybe it does. At least we're trying

Good luck.
This sounds like you are facing it head on both of you eyes wide open and all I can say is good luck.

 

[Valcazar]

Sigh. Yes, yes. I’ve heard of this many a time. I don’t understand why some SPs or clients absolutely INSIST on ruining a good thing! Just because that dynamic works amazingly doesn’t mean it’ll be the same in a different context. Man, she sounds like she had a good thing. Bahumbug! Lol.

I'm gonna defend her here.
You can say whatever the fuck you want about your boundaries, your expectations, and your desires in a relationship and it can be totally true in the moment but then shit changes because humans change and evolve and relationship dynamics do too. Sometimes it is someone flat out lying to themselves and to their partner and coming in with an agenda and sometimes it is just... shit changed. It happens.
In some ways, the fact she broke down and blurted it out makes me think it changed on her and she knew it hadn't for him so she tried to beat it down because she had made the "no BF" deal up front and she just ended up breaking and having to be honest. Better that than years of her being miserable.

I may be wrong. I would just rather think well of people if I don't have a reason to think poorly of them.

 

[DaddySwagBucks]

I must preface this reply because I'm really not trying to be an asshole here. I'm not advocating an agenda, but I am interested in how you're managing this.

How does your partner feel about you seeing other SPs, especially when she helping to support you financially? I have to presume that you are still an active client, or maybe that you're on hiatus with the intention of going back into the hobby. I mean, why else would you be active on this board, right?

No, I don't see SPs anymore. Intentions on seeing another SP? Maybe, probably not. I haven't seen any or had the urge to. I check the boards because of habit and I reply a few messages once in awhile. Sometimes when I'm feeling extra paranoid I check up on the boards to see if there's reviews, but I directly feel like shit after.

I realized my biggest problem in seeing SPs was that it was easy. I pay, deed happens and that's it. An easy source of excitement, entertainment and relief from my outside life. Relationships take time, effort, communication and dedication. Everything but easy.

It was the roughest in the beginning where the mystery and lies were rampant. I was pissed, angry and resentful randomly. After the lies slowly unravelled, I understood why she is in this position and why she can't just up and quit "if she loved me enough."

To go forward, there's no room for wishful thinking of "maybe she'll quit because she loves me." "I hope that she doesn't leave me for someone else." These thoughts still happen every so often because I am still a person and emotions happen, but the reality is that we're both there for each other when shit hits the fan. Majority of my doubts were dispelled when I got covid. She came over right away, she got covid from me because of it and we spent the whole 2 weeks together in quarantine.

I go to therapy weekly to sort my thoughts out. I am still weak sometimes. My moral compass is broken and it bothers me everytime I drive around and see something related to sex work or a shady spa (which is somehow on every fucking block in this city). It sucks, but I'm taking it as an opportunity to understand myself and what I really want in life. It's by no means a normal relationship, but it's our relationship right now and we're trying to make it work.

I need to first and foremost work on myself and build myself into someone who I can look up to, not depend on her for some type of superficial validation for my ego.

 

[escortsxxx]

I get it. I honestly really liked this girl and it didn’t help that on the surface we seemed like friends. If anyone asked she could have easily said we went to school together. We even talked about it. Then we added each other on personal social medias and it blurred lines. My fault, I know.

We don’t talk anymore. I still feel bad about it, because our relationship was “cheapened” to just SP and client, when we actually had so much more.

Well seems harsh. You could have agreed to hang out without sex and explore this feelings assuming there was something there. In my years here there been a few marriages from client and sp a certainly more than one romance.

I have to admit its complicated and ever situation is unique.

 

[jazzbox]

I've been going on a rampage, boarding on addiction lately. For the past few months I've been seeing SPs and MPAs every other day. It's like an itch that doesn't go away. I probably should get help.

Here's the short story and I'm not sure how I feel about it:

There's this SP that I've been seeing once a week. After a hot and sweaty session, she grabbed me and held me tightly. Bit my arm relatively hard and whispered that she loved me. I completely froze. I couldn't think of a single thing to say after that. The thought that she just wants me to be a repeat client more often occurred later that day, but I honestly don't think she meant it that way. I have her number, IG and know where she lives so it's turned into something more than a transaction at that point.

We have great conversation and common interests, but the whole situation just seems awkward to me.

Same thing happened to me. She also wanted to proceed sans protection. I could not proceed and stopped seeing her. Got calls and texts from her for weeks after. It was an awful experience. TBH I was falling for her too and I think if the relationship had more time to mature it might have moved beyond a transaction. Think about her all the time. She was/is a very unique woman and is now retire.

 

[DaddySwagBucks]

Same thing happened to me. She also wanted to proceed sans protection. I could not proceed and stopped seeing her. Got calls and texts from her for weeks after. It was an awful experience. TBH I was falling for her too and I think if the relationship had more time to mature it might have moved beyond a transaction. Think about her all the time. She was/is a very unique woman and is now retire.

Enjoy the memories. It's the most exciting in the beginning, but reality catches up with you eventually. 🥲

 

[jazzbox]

Enjoy the memories. It's the most exciting in the beginning, but reality catches up with you eventually. 🥲

Yeah, for once I let my big head over rule my little one.