NSNC What’s going on in Ottawa/Gatineau region. A provider point of view.

Demonoid007

Support decriminalization!
Apr 15, 2019
25
24
13
So, back to the subject...

I agree with the lot of people that has said that NSNC is a bad behavior and a problem (sometimes on both sides). I believe in a professional relationship, and if you have to cancel or delay, then communicate with the service provider (or client), inform and re-schedule or cancel if you cannot make it. It is just common good manners. You would do this with any service provider (specially one you want to have a longer term relationship with).

Having said that, I do have issues with providing identifying information...at least while it is legally a murky situation. And of course there are scams to be aware of. However, I can see the need of the providers to have some warranties, I get the point of a booking deposit...as long as it can be done anonymously. Love the idea of using a gift card for example.

Hope Leolist listens to your proposals!
 
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Mandalorian

My friends call me Mando
Nov 13, 2020
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I’m not a fan of deposits or anything that leaves a paper trail and can expose me to possible blackmail but if it’s absolutely needed, I have no problems with stopping by the in call and dropping off an envelope as a sign of good faith. I will say though that ive been burned once where I prepaid a future session because the girl was in a tough spot only to have her disappear altogether. One more thing, advance pre booking is not practical for some due to the convert nature of the activity and also sometimes the mood is not always there when the day comes.
 

StillROAMing

The Big "O"
Dec 25, 2017
809
392
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I’m not a fan of deposits or anything that leaves a paper trail and can expose me to possible blackmail but if it’s absolutely needed, I have no problems with stopping by the in call and dropping off an envelope as a sign of good faith. I will say though that ive been burned once where I prepaid a future session because the girl was in a tough spot only to have her disappear altogether. One more thing, advance pre booking is not practical for some due to the convert nature of the activity and also sometimes the mood is not always there when the day comes.
I understand your POV, but Tara mentioned a solution she uses that doesn't leave a paper trail.
Create an industry email, if you don't already have one.
Take a picture of the numbers on a GC or vanilla CC and send it via industry email.
The provider then deposits that into an account for safety.
Done, and no paper trail.

If you have a SO use cash to purchase the GC or vanilla CC.
 

asspirate

Member
Dec 22, 2020
28
27
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I've never done an etransfer deposit but I have give a deposits with the prepaid credit card a few times. Obviously it was for girls that I trusted and got a good vibe for. It was also for a first time meet. I wouldn't make it repeated thing with the same girl since it is annoying to go buy the card and send all the pix. Plus since all my sessions are flawless, there's no need for deposits afterwards since I'm never let and never cancel and always respect their time.
 
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gibarian

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2019
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First of all I had no idea Terb had new rules in place. For me this as been a good forum over the years for the exchange of information. I know over the last few years we have lost a number of great contributors but it is still a good place for info. Last Alison is right and I kind of feel bad about it. Just want to apologize to ITD131 I should of posted something right away when you got bullied and got called a liar. These days even before Covid I am not active in the hobby so I just usually read threads and not reply but that was blatant.
I think you misunderstood who was bullied and/or what bullying means. The posts asking itd131 to clarify his story are still up. And the posts deemed worthy of deletion? One claiming that I am an alt account of a SW who posted in this thread, and one calling me a child with a neurological disorder. Bullying is when somebody abuses somebody else from a position of power or safety. When someone on TERB offers an argument that deviates from the hobbyist party line they can expect to be swarmed by a dozen other posters not involved in the original exchange. That's exactly what happened in this thread, to no one's surprise. When you imagine a "bully" do you really picture one kid fighting off 12 others, and the solo kid is the bully? You must have had a very unusual childhood. :LOL:
 

Nesbot

Well-known member
Jan 25, 2016
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I think you misunderstood who was bullied and/or what bullying means. The posts asking itd131 to clarify his story are still up. And the posts deemed worthy of deletion? One claiming that I am an alt account of a SW who posted in this thread, and one calling me a child with a neurological disorder. Bullying is when somebody abuses somebody else from a position of power or safety. When someone on TERB offers an argument that deviates from the hobbyist party line they can expect to be swarmed by a dozen other posters not involved in the original exchange. That's exactly what happened in this thread, to no one's surprise. When you imagine a "bully" do you really picture one kid fighting off 12 others, and the solo kid is the bully? You must have had a very unusual childhood. :LOL:
Honestly though, you could have avoided being “bullied” if you weren’t so quick to question a fellow hobbyists account or experience.

Furthermore, it’s a pattern with you. You seem to question the integrity of hobbyists that don’t conform to your view of things.

Then you send out very thinly veiled insults and don’t get reprimanded for it.

This thread was going fine until you started in on your deposits crusade.
 

gibarian

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2019
266
375
63
Honestly though, you could have avoided being “bullied” if you weren’t so quick to question a fellow hobbyists account or experience.

Furthermore, it’s a pattern with you. You seem to question the integrity of hobbyists that don’t conform to your view of things.

Then you send out very thinly veiled insults and don’t get reprimanded for it.

This thread was going fine until you started in on your deposits crusade.
I'm used to being ganged up on here -- avoiding that isn't really something I have control over or care about.

Can I ask why you think it's rude or unfair of me to question a story that doesn't make any sense on its surface? Or why it's a "crusade" when I repeat that I've had good experiences with deposits, yet business-as-usual when anybody else says they oppose deposits (for the 50th time)? It seems like you're only bothered by repetition when it's repetition of something you don't agree with.
 

gibarian

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2019
266
375
63
It doesn't make sense to you.
Asking questions is fine, as is replying if they choose to, but insinuating the person must have done something deserving for it to happen is something else.
No, it doesn't make sense as told. No objective observer could locate sense in it.
 

JohnnyFever

Well-known member
Apr 19, 2018
459
400
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TERB has always had rules in place. They were beefed up over the last couple of years. Unfortunately the Mods did not actively enforce them so as we all know a small number of Ottawa members carpet bombed the Ottawa site with immature and misogynistic posts without any accountability. That was allowed to go on for too long and the board increasingly spiraled into the toilet with no accountability. Recently those members were banned by the Mods (tho they are back under different handles and occasionally snipe away). Members are now slowly coming back and posting again and we are starting to see respectful, civil conversations. If members continue to respect the rules and the Mods continue to enforce them there is some reason to hope that this board will be restored to the place it was for most of its duration.
The banning wave cast a wide net though. I still don't understand why Poolasaurus and Slurp are gone.
 

boomboom

Well-known member
Jun 29, 2003
5,582
3,939
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Central Ont. between here & there
can we get back onto topic......
I think Allison has gotten several responses that she liked, with a few other local SP also helping out with comments.
So I think this thread is covered.
Other comments could be shared via a new thread or PM
 

Lickylick

Decriminalize, Regulate, license.
Jan 25, 2018
141
146
43
TERB has always had rules in place. They were beefed up over the last couple of years. Unfortunately the Mods did not actively enforce them so as we all know a small number of Ottawa members carpet bombed the Ottawa site with immature and misogynistic posts without any accountability. That was allowed to go on for too long and the board increasingly spiraled into the toilet with no accountability. Recently those members were banned by the Mods (tho they are back under different handles and occasionally snipe away). Members are now slowly coming back and posting again and we are starting to see respectful, civil conversations. If members continue to respect the rules and the Mods continue to enforce them there is some reason to hope that this board will be restored to the place it was for most of its duration.
The behaviour still continues, as we are seeing it in this thread. I am not new to hobbying but participating in the forums is something I usually don't do. I post a comment and instantly someone insinuates that I am someone else using a fake account. Why would anyone want to be part of a community that treats its new members like they are all shills or secondary accounts.

The Ottawa section needs a sub section dedicated to non reviews we're conversations like this can be had and not bog down the reviews. Members need to respect each other's opinion. We all know opinions are like assholes, everyone as one, and they don't all smell good.
 
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gibarian

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2019
266
375
63
You shouldn't speak for everyone. You may be batting 1.000 with deposits, but this doesn't mean everyone else is. If you've never been struck by a vehicle it would not be wise to think no one else has ever been struck by a vehicle.
I love your example! We know we could be struck by a vehicle and yet we're all still occasional pedestrians, because we understand that the chances of being struck by a vehicle are low, especially when you follow guidelines, pay attention, and stay sharp. That's exactly how you should be treating the concept of deposits.

And the story that was told in this thread amounted to "I was hit by a neon green cement truck while standing still in the middle of a soccer field." And was told by somebody who wants all vehicles taken off the road.
 

itd131

Active member
Sep 16, 2006
798
213
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Gibarian, I really don’t want to ruin this thread. As someone else said, it’s nice to see a meaningful conversation involving both clients and providers take place on here, but I am going to assume you really don’t understand, and try to offer an explanation.

Look at this thread, it was going great until you decided to start picking bones. Every off topic post (and it’s true some made about you were inappropriate) was a result of what you started. Had you never posted on this thread, there would have been no problems. Members who have been on this board for awhile have seen this patten with you over and over. We are well aware of the number of threads that have been deleted once you get involved.

Second, it’s not just what you do, it’s how you do it. Take a look through your posting history and look at how you speak to people. You are often unnecessarily abrasive, condescending and dismissive. It’s true, others have been rude to you, but it’s a result of what you start - usually when others get tired and annoyed by your inability to let things go, and finally take a shot back at you.

You portray yourself as this “pro SP” good guy and the rest of us as the opposite. This couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s insulting to see you go on about how great you are and imply the rest of us are disrespectful of providers, etc. It’s true there have been jerks on here over the years but that definitely isn’t everyone. Many of us are very supportive and appreciative of providers. I think this thread demonstrates that.

OK, we get it, you pay deposits, but there is not much really about you that is “pro SP” - what you mostly come across as is pro confrontation. You enjoy the fight and causing discord. The same high degree of criticism you place on others you never apply to yourself. You never own it when you are wrong. When anyone defends themselves, you play the victim. Your behaviour is highly consistent with what most of us consider an internet troll.

Finally, you have never contributed anything to this board. For a guy who spends thousands of dollars in deposits every year, I don’t think you have ever written a review. Really then, why are you here? It’s a review board after all. From my point of view, all you do is pick fights, ruin threads, and contribute nothing. This is why some have suggested that you are a bitter SP pretending to be a client. Your motivation seems off. I, however, wouldn’t insult providers that way. The most likely explanation to me is that you are a sad, pathetic, troll.

Unfortunately, like has happened many times in the past, I had to choose to either say nothing and let your disruptions continue, or say something, realizing it may lead to an otherwise useful thread spiralling off the rails and getting deleted. Hopefully this gives you an understanding of why you feel you are “being ganged up on here,” and we can move on with this thread back on main topic.
 
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