This is going to be shocking. Stefania are you sitting down?
I'm not going to challenge you because you made a business decision and if it works for you monetarily, attract enough clients for you then all the power to you. You didn't insult anyone and be overly nasty so for that, I will do the same!
Obviously your business model doesn't appeal to myself for my own personal reasons which is mainly privacy but that's okay too, as I'm not your target market.
I mainly state the obvious from a client's perspective and that is we do not have to accept policies we on this side of the table are not comfortable as you yourself do for your own well being and comfort.
Carry on and if you're happy, keep doing what you're doing.
ps...if you tear a strip of the ass kisser's like TorontoGentleman, Tawlguy and a few other's I'll buy you a month's worth of cheesecake!
That's an intelligent, well written post. Squeezer PM-ed me and even he was impressed with it.
If you stopped taking cheap shots at people like me and making blanket pronouncements about everybody on this board and took the trouble to communicate your thoughts, you'd have many, many more friends.
You do yourself less than justice much of the time.
Give me a break oagre, you post some incredibly rage-inducing things yourself too. I could say the same to you about having "more friends". Just as you two have your own little I-hate-Stefania fanclub in PMs, a lot of the ladies are in my DMs constantly griping about the things you guys post. Squeezer himself admits he doesn't have Twitter because all the indies would block him. You two aren't innocent parties and I'm the evil one who comes out of left field. Your post about not caring whether you cancel last minute because "she can find something else to do with the time" was so triggering and really reeked of not giving a shit of the inconvenience you can cause girls by cancellations. Even for an agency, cancellations are inconvenient. The booker might not say anything directly to YOU, but behind the scenes there is definitely frustration and "fuck and I just turned another client down who asked for that timeslot too." So many people pull this shit on us and does it really kill people to do better than this? If you cancel last minute, have enough respect for the other person's time to compensate them for their troubles - yes, even if it's an agency girl. If you MUST cancel, next time you see her give her an even bigger tip. Imagine she really needed that extra $100-200 from that call to buy food for her kids and you just took that away from her.
You both are always going around saying things like "never give a deposit or screen!" when all the girls are trying to do is stay safe. When you guys go around touting things like we're all thieves and going to blackmail or out you, people listen to these things and make our jobs so incredibly more difficult. You guys have no idea how many girls message me and the horrific things that clients do to them, and they want to screen but continue not to, putting themselves at constant risk because they can not afford the drop in volume. If you guys really did understand the reason many of us screen, and the shit that providers go through, you might be a little bit more sympathetic about it and even actually consider - god forbid -
actually screening.
My client - the one who was jittery about his information in my emails whom I deleted for - used to share sentiments like many clients where he was hesitant to screen because he has a family and obviously a lot to lose. When he screened with me, it was so difficult because he was unable to verify his LinkedIn was really his (his work email server was down), and I refused to take his word for it. On his end, he sees a provider that's making things more difficult than they need to "and why is my LinkedIn not enough?" when on
my end I'm remembering the time I accepted a LinkedIn without cross-verifying and it turned out the guy had lied and it wasn't really him, and I just can not rest easy meeting this client without 100% guaranteeing he is who he says he is. These things happen a lot to us, and after a few bad experiences a lot of providers become scared everytime they meet new clients. Said client and I were almost on the verge of giving up on each other, but we persisted and after conversing with him a bit when he was getting frustrated, he understood WHY exactly it was so important for me to know 100% without a doubt his identity. And he prioritized my comfort and need for safety. When we met up, I had what I would easily say was one of the best calls of my career. He's now one of my favourite clients. My level of comfort with him was crucial to this. I would never have been able to provide him with that quality level of call without first feeling as safe as I could be. And the reason it was one of my best calls was not because of acronyms or whatever crap you guys prioritize here - but because the best courtesan experiences that can happen are about way, way WAYYY more than just the sex.
For awhile, I was so terrified of new people because I never knew who would come in and try to rob me, secretly record me, overstay their time, go on the forums later and trash talk me for the kicks of being an asshole, or god forbid - physically assault me, possibly even kill me. Even the "good clients" can go rogue, and I was so scared of being harmed that I couldn't relax even with my regulars, always expecting the other shoe to drop. This would translate into sessions where I was on edge and couldn't be myself - I'd set timers for calls so clients wouldn't overstay, and become the "clockwatcher" you guys always talked about - and it wasn't because I wanted to kick the client out ASAP, it was because I didn't want him to overstay 15m and then later think he's entitled to that every session and expecting 30m, 45m, and later thinks he doesn't have to pay. I had pepper spray and knives hidden all around my incall. I'd force clients to leave everything in the bathroom and never have cellphones or anything that could be used to record around me. What hurt my business the most was my refusal to talk to clients in between bookings. Do you guys have any idea how many people flood our emails and texts in between bookings wasting our time with no intention of bookings? It's the most common complaint I've heard providers have about clients. "OMG, these guys are too needy!" I never wanted to let anyone even THINK they could take me for that kind of ride so I never talked to clients after bookings, and I did probably come off as too "cold" for some guy's tastes so even though the sessions would go well, the clients would move on. This too, is something I've since greatly relaxed on - experience and time has provided me the skill to be better at judging who's going to waste my time and who is fine to message, and I chat regularly with many of my regulars now.
What really made the anxieties start to subside for me was being unforgiving with giving myself the peace of mind I needed to work. Knowing I had the upper hand in that if anyone tried to harm me, I would have ground to hold them responsible, is crucial to this. Starting to collect deposits was one of the best, if not the best, decision I ever made. I only started asking for them for all my calls under a month ago. It's funny, because before deposits I'd always be on edge before an appointment because "what if they cancel? I only booked X clients this month, and he booked a four-figure call for this week, and if he cancels it'll throw off my entire month." I had one regular cancel twice on me and want to constantly email back and forth, and without a deposit, I had no way of confirming whether his "I'll rebook" was honest or him stringing my along for free attention without any intention of spending actual money on me. I could not relax around him. He now gives me deposits, and even if he has to rebook, the deposit gives me the peace of mind he is serious about seeing me. We email regularly and there's no longer any anxiety on my end.
Yet guys like you going around touting "NO DEPOSITS!!" made me SO hesitant to start asking for them because I really was scared I'd lose too much business and isolate too many clients and my biz would tank. So your "blanket pronouncements" about every indie and our policies really fucking hurt us a LOT.
FYI: I've never been a dumbass, I didn't get my following in the community because I'm a "man hating bitch." I have a lot of writings on my website that explain these things very thoroughly and if you'd ever taken the time to actually get to know me as an individual, you'd already know these things about me.
And if you want to thank anything for why I'm so Zen recently, thank the fact I ask for deposits and screen fully, ironically enough. I've become a way, WAY better provider due to these things. I've noticed a huge correlation between comfort of your provider and the quality of the encounter. You guys really are missing out on a lot when you refuse to screen.
