breakups

[jw01]

hey all

so my relationship with my fiance ended sadly, i went and got the ring. im under the impression she is already dating or seeing some jerk but meh.

i messed up by constantly writing her emails and texting her and her mom which made me look beyond desperate but this girl blamed me for all her mental and emotional issues and made me the scapegoat for everything that went bad in her life. she was overweight 4 years ago so didnt get to enjoy and prob wants to do that now. she treats a random stranger with trust and when it comes to me, i have become this monster in her head. it's getting all these cold shoulders from her ...where she emailed me a few days back and said she is sorry but doesnt love me and i was in her life to get her life straight and help her get her business running and all but she doesnt need me in her life right now.

it's sad b/c for the million good times all she sees is negative; she didnt go out make friends, was anti social and was being miserable while she was being with me and i got the short end of the stick and was patient that she will turn herself around. ever since shes blamed me for all her life's problems (wow), she is going out, talking to ppl and even being cool with her sisters and throwing it in my face, like wtf, as if i ever stopped her from doing any of the above. yes, my family was non existent for her, but family and all are micro in the grand scheme of things b/c the life u live is between urself and ur partner, everything else is noise.

anyways, her recent email like i said was beyond cold with a informal apology that if she hurt me she is sorry but she needs to "do herself, and look after herself now" -> as if she wasnt doing that before or she was all about me? pff and to make matters worse, i went to her place two weeks ago to drop off a letter around 1.30am on a wknd and emailed her in advance...she happened to ironically be coming home and thought i was waiting for her or stalking like....biggest bullshit timing and shit. anyways, she ended the letter saying she will get a restraining order against me like wtf....this random dude hussled her for 1K and shes cool with him yet the guy u were with for 8 years, u can talk shit like this and blame all ur problems? to make matters worse her mom is feeding her random shit when she knows me better.

she had wrote in the email she will return the ring next week but after getting that stupid email from her, i went with my mom to get my ring b/c there is too much disrepect from her end. she had mentioned she would return all my things + the ring....she returned only my shorts and shirt and my ring. none of the expensive items i got her (4K bags, louboutins etc) or even my personal computer, camera or money she owned me.....her mom had the balls to text me after to say, is there is anything missing let her know!!!

wtf should i do...i love this girl and i care for her but she's 100% cold on me...and b/c how emotionally stupid and weak she is...a guy will take advantage if he hasnt already....sad!

what should i do...i want to get back with this girl b/c ive committed so much of my energy time and money...i dont want have her hate me this way and see me as this monster b/c if u think all this negative u wont b happy pff....+ her mom is saying,is there anything missing ....really!!!

what should i do to reconcile and make her see me for all the good ive done and not have her hate me for fking stupid reasons.....+ what should i write to her mom?

b/c of her bullshit behavior...i want to ask for everything back even my expensive stuff i gave her..and ive told her in the past, i want everything back if ur gonna b a bitch to me b/c i didnt waste my hard earned money to get played by her crap....OR....so i just let it all go..and see if things work out and lay low while she does her thing?

 

[danmand]

Be happy you were not married yet. You were lucky. Get on with enjoying life.

 

[Aardvark154]

It hurts I know, but as bad as it is, it is a lot less than it would have been had more time gone by.

It is too early for you to rationally look at it, but when some water has gone under the bridge look at what were the signs you ignored and mistakes you made and don't repeat them the next time.

Remember that the end of a relationship is a lot like a death, you go through the same process of grieving, anger, and loss, give it the time it needs.

 

[shack]

 

[spiral]

man i feel your pain... ive been in the same situation 4 months ago. Its not easy but cut her off completely. get what you need and cut her off. even if she texts you, email you, etc, ignore her. Move on and do the best to try to keep your mind preoccupied with some thing else beside her. Ive dealt with the same kind of girl, all help and no respect returned. I loved her a lot and i would take all the bad just to get the little bit of good i had with her. That is how desperate i wanted her back, but one day my mind flipped and i said fuck it, i constantly did things to get my mind off her like take a trip to Florida meet bitches there and party it up, went over to friends to drink and own up on COD, and see escorts. This was hurting my wallet but it was fucking worth it. I completely ignored her and i would get a text and messages saying she is sorry then later on say she isnt sorry then saying sorry again. I would take her back in an instant but as HARD as it is to separate emotion from logic. I out weighed the bullshit she put me through vs the good we had together. I pretty much dropped her it wasnt worth it for me. and thats the best to get through this is to move on and try everything to get away the problems shes caused you

 

[shakenbake]

I know that what I tell you will hurt.

Move on, she doesn't deserve you. I know what you are going through, as I had a series of whore-friends like that. No, not ladies in the industry who we can all respect, but real whores who played me for all that I could give them and then to dump me. And the ones who liked to play mind games, like the one who is still living with her mother at her age.

Be careful with how much emotion you invest in a relationship. Otherwise, you will keep ending up the way you did as in this case. Be a man, don't look back, and walk away from her with your head up high. You will find the right woman in your life in due time.

 

[jw01]

man i feel your pain... ive been in the same situation 4 months ago. Its not easy but cut her off completely. get what you need and cut her off. even if she texts you, email you, etc, ignore her. Move on and do the best to try to keep your mind preoccupied with some thing else beside her. Ive dealt with the same kind of girl, all help and no respect returned. I loved her a lot and i would take all the bad just to get the little bit of good i had with her. That is how desperate i wanted her back, but one day my mind flipped and i said fuck it, i constantly did things to get my mind off her like take a trip to Florida meet bitches there and party it up, went over to friends to drink and own up on COD, and see escorts. This was hurting my wallet but it was fucking worth it. I completely ignored her and i would get a text and messages saying she is sorry then later on say she isnt sorry then saying sorry again. I would take her back in an instant but as HARD as it is to separate emotion from logic. I out weighed the bullshit she put me through vs the good we had together. I pretty much dropped her it wasnt worth it for me. and thats the best to get through this is to move on and try everything to get away the problems shes caused you

Man that sounds very similar to me man..wow...its so hard on me right now..i wake up in the middle of the night or at 5am thinking about her or wht she doing or how guys are manipulating her mind b/c she is so stupid etc.....it just eats me inside. ive tried to go out last couple of weeks but just cant past this hurdle of how she is treating me and blamed all her life issues on me and is OK with it like wtf. i get it u were unhappy with me or the love wasnt there for couple years as u said, but i never put a gun to ur head neither did i force u to accept my proposal, know what i mean.

b/c of her bullshit, i want all my gifts and everything back, id rather burn them or donate them and feel good instead of her having all this luxary while she throws me under the bus. she said she wants to erase me really..by returning my shorts and ring ur erasing me, while ur entire closet and all is filled with items i got u and u are OK with that......i thought she would at least return my personal items, laptop (its a spare), 1500 camera, money she owed me etc...but got nothing but disrepect by her and her fatass mom.

 

[NiceShoes]

move on. so many great girls out there whom they haven't met you yet. regarding getting your things back, if they are not really super nice things, just forget about them and move on. freedom is worth much more than anything you'll be leaving from that relationship.

 

[Ref]

i went with my mom to get my ring

Seriously? You took your mother with you?

 

[fuji]

Move on. It's over. You can't make her different than she is no matter how much you want to.

 

[LuxeLadyAmber]

hey all

so my relationship with my fiance ended sadly, i went and got the ring. im under the impression she is already dating or seeing some jerk but meh.

i messed up by constantly writing her emails and texting her and her mom which made me look beyond desperate but this girl blamed me for all her mental and emotional issues and made me the scapegoat for everything that went bad in her life. she was overweight 4 years ago so didnt get to enjoy and prob wants to do that now. she treats a random stranger with trust and when it comes to me, i have become this monster in her head. it's getting all these cold shoulders from her ...where she emailed me a few days back and said she is sorry but doesnt love me and i was in her life to get her life straight and help her get her business running and all but she doesnt need me in her life right now.

it's sad b/c for the million good times all she sees is negative; she didnt go out make friends, was anti social and was being miserable while she was being with me and i got the short end of the stick and was patient that she will turn herself around. ever since shes blamed me for all her life's problems (wow), she is going out, talking to ppl and even being cool with her sisters and throwing it in my face, like wtf, as if i ever stopped her from doing any of the above. yes, my family was non existent for her, but family and all are micro in the grand scheme of things b/c the life u live is between urself and ur partner, everything else is noise.

anyways, her recent email like i said was beyond cold with a informal apology that if she hurt me she is sorry but she needs to "do herself, and look after herself now" -> as if she wasnt doing that before or she was all about me? pff and to make matters worse, i went to her place two weeks ago to drop off a letter around 1.30am on a wknd and emailed her in advance...she happened to ironically be coming home and thought i was waiting for her or stalking like....biggest bullshit timing and shit. anyways, she ended the letter saying she will get a restraining order against me like wtf....this random dude hussled her for 1K and shes cool with him yet the guy u were with for 8 years, u can talk shit like this and blame all ur problems? to make matters worse her mom is feeding her random shit when she knows me better.

she had wrote in the email she will return the ring next week but after getting that stupid email from her, i went with my mom to get my ring b/c there is too much disrepect from her end. she had mentioned she would return all my things + the ring....she returned only my shorts and shirt and my ring. none of the expensive items i got her (4K bags, louboutins etc) or even my personal computer, camera or money she owned me.....her mom had the balls to text me after to say, is there is anything missing let her know!!!

wtf should i do...i love this girl and i care for her but she's 100% cold on me...and b/c how emotionally stupid and weak she is...a guy will take advantage if he hasnt already....sad!

what should i do...i want to get back with this girl b/c ive committed so much of my energy time and money...i dont want have her hate me this way and see me as this monster b/c if u think all this negative u wont b happy pff....+ her mom is saying,is there anything missing ....really!!!

what should i do to reconcile and make her see me for all the good ive done and not have her hate me for fking stupid reasons.....+ what should i write to her mom?

b/c of her bullshit behavior...i want to ask for everything back even my expensive stuff i gave her..and ive told her in the past, i want everything back if ur gonna b a bitch to me b/c i didnt waste my hard earned money to get played by her crap....OR....so i just let it all go..and see if things work out and lay low while she does her thing?

With all do respect, why would you want to be with someone who: a) didn't return the ring (still, yes?); b) blamed you for her emotional and psychological issues; and c) is cold and likely dating someone else? Seems to me you might have gotten away lucky before other complications ensued. It might take time for the fog to clear; am sure you'll get there though...

Good luck

 

[legmann]

Sorry to hear, went though almost the exact same five years ago. Put it behind you, get on with your life, and - whatever the consolation - be glad you didn't marry. I know I am.

 

[peter4025]

As was said before, be happy you did not merry her. Forget about things you gave her. Those were gifts. Sell the ring and spend the money on a hot sp. take a couple of pictures with her while she is kissing you (If she allows. Maybe a peeler) and txt them to her thanking her for the break up as you found a very hot girl instead

 

[Aardvark154]

Seriously? You took your mother with you?

Smart idea. Not entirely neutral, but at least another person to testify if the ex-GF said that he had done something, taken something etc. . . .

 

[cityguy57]

Be glad you weren't married yet...nothing like marrying the wrong person. Been there - it was a nightmare from day one - should have listened to the people around me. It was tough when it ended a year later - I wanted to get right back in but after a few months started to see more clearly and realized my life was far better off. I had already "wasted" 6 years (5 pre marriage). About a year after it ended she wanted back....I just said no thanks. As tough as it may seem I would just lay low - no letters, no emails or phone calls - you can't force her to love you anyways. Give yourself some space - if she wants back I'm sure she'll let you know & maybe you won't. I'd want my things back too but not anything I gave her as a gift.

 

[wangbang]

The one thing in life that I wish I had learned much earlier is that you can't talk a woman into being into you. If you're trying to "convince" a woman into being with you then you are usually wasting your time.

Remember that the best revenge is living well.

 

[TeasePlease]

JW,

You're pissed off because you invested a lot of time, energy and emotion in this girl. You believed in her. You looked forward to the day that she got her shit together and you would finally enjoy a happy life together.

and when that day arrived, she tossed you aside like a shitstained panty.

that fucking sucks. Were you used? Maybe. Maybe she just didn't know better. I can guarantee you that in her mind, she absolutely believes not.

My advice - take a good look back. How did she treat you? Was she there for you when you needed a lift? Did she show compassion and care? Don't see her for the person you thought she was, or the person you hoped she would be. See her for what she true was and is. It will hurt, but I will also guarantee you that she was the person you saw in your heart.

Btw, I disagree about the family and static. It matters.

 

[Ringworld]

what should i do...i want to get back with this girl b/c ive committed so much of my energy time and money...i dont want have her hate me this way and see me as this monster b/c if u think all this negative u wont b happy pff....+ her mom is saying,is there anything missing ....really!!!

Sorry to hear about your situation. Excuse me for using a business analogy. While bolded is understandable, it represents a sunk cost that should be ignored when figuring what's best for you on a go-forward basis. If it's any comfort, I think you dodged a bullet here. Much worse to realize what she's like after marriage.

I think the reason that a lot of couples get divorced is that once they start seeing the other as the 'bad guy' in their life, it's very difficult to turn around.

 

[Curious36]

Sorry to hear.....been there. Sometimes its better to hear from others perspectives to get a more accurate portrayal of your relationship. From what I see, she seems like a user. She used you to get all those "things" and used u as an emotional tampon along the way. Also she seems very very immature in the fact that she never takes responsibility for her own actions/downfalls and blames YOU for everything. This is only a partial observation from what you have wrote....but should be enough IMO to look back on and move on.
From what YOU wrote and others have said can you seriously see yourself in the same place with her 5, 10, 15 years from now? I suspect the answer is no. Be honest with yourself and it will be easier to let go. No need to waste another minute of your life with this individual.
Big cliche but time does heal....as shitty as this sounds to you now, it is true. As others mentioned start doing other stuff to get your mind off the situation. You will thank YOU by moving on. In fact fast forward a year or so and you will laugh at yourself and kick your own ass that you put up with her for as long as you have.
You will meet another who will make this one look like the using, disrespectful, immature individual that she is.

 

[CapitalGuy]

http://www.pattayaphotoguide.com