Your fave Terrible Sêx Joke

[poker]

An old Jewish couple was having trouble in bed. They went to the Rabbi and explained for several years now, she was not achieving orgasm.

The Rabbi suggested getting a hot young man to fan them with palm leaves as they made love… as a little something for her to think about. They were reluctant, but they tried it. They hired a very ruggedly handsome young man, and he fanned them gently with a giant palm leaf as they made love in bed… but sadly, it still did not work, so back to the Rabbi they went.

The Rabbi suggested maybe the young man could make love to his wife, while the husband fanned them. Again, they were reluctant, but said they would try it. The young man agreed, and off to the bedroom they went. The husband fanned them as they made love on the bed, and this time… she in fact orgasmed. Multiples! She screamed in ecstasy… and as they finished and the young man was getting dressed, the husband gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder and said “see… that’s how you fan a couple!”

 

[eddie kerr]

Ok. In the dark ages before the internet a newly liberated woman was thoroughly fed up with men, except for that one thing. She places a classified ad in a "Lonely Hearts" Mag:
Reasonably attractive WF looking for a gentleman who is not going to beat me or run around on me as I have jumped off that merry go round. Must be a terrific lover.
A week later the doorbell rings. She goes to the door and looks out, at first seeing nothing. The gentleman clears is throat slightly and she looks down. At the door is a man with no arms or legs.
"Oh, sir" she exclaims, "what can I do for you??"
"I'm here in answer to your add" He replied. As you can see, without legs I could never run around on you.
And with no arms I can't very well beat you, can I?"
"Well, OK, but what about being a terrific lover??"


"I rang the doorbell, didn't I?..."

Old One.

 

[taya6ix]

One of my exes I wrote in Sharpie marker underneath the toilet seat the joke is in your hands

 

[poker]

One of my exes I wrote in Sharpie marker underneath the toilet seat the joke is in your hands

In high school, my buddies mom put a framed sign over the toilet:

“Stand close… it’s smaller than you think”

 

[y2kmark]

Old One.

Originally told on late night TV by "the Henny Youngman of Brazil", so it could be really, really old

 

[Olololo]

Last night she's telling me she doesn't want a boyfriend. I said I agree, I don't want a boyfriend either.

 

[y2kmark]

A guy comes home from work and his wife is packing a suitcase.
"What's wrong honey bunch?" he inquired.
"I'm leaving you! I just found out that you're a pedophile!!" she responded.


"Well, that's a pretty big word for a nine year old..."

 

[onomatopoeia]

Q: How many frat boys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. Frat boys screw in pools of vomit.