Your fave Terrible Sêx Joke
- Thread starter Azria
- Start date
What’s the difference between a G spot and a golf ball?
A man will actually search for a golf ball.
A man will actually search for a golf ball.
Here’s a popular I find it funny
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife.
She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife.
She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra.
The police are on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
The police are on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
Let me give you a tip…. Or, if you want, I could put the whole thing in!
An old very bad sex joke.
Group of people exchanging ghost stories. When asked if they've felt the presence of a ghost, most people agree. When asked if they've seen a ghost, fewer people agree. Then asked if they've had sex with a ghost - an old man puts up his hand.
You sir, you've had sex with a ghost?
Ghost...I thought you said goat.
Group of people exchanging ghost stories. When asked if they've felt the presence of a ghost, most people agree. When asked if they've seen a ghost, fewer people agree. Then asked if they've had sex with a ghost - an old man puts up his hand.
You sir, you've had sex with a ghost?
Ghost...I thought you said goat.
Being Jewish I can tell these:
Q: What's the difference between a Jewish American Princess (JAP)and Jello?
A: Jello wiggles when you eat it!
Q: What's the difference between a JAP and a bowling ball?
A: You can only get three fingers into a bowling ball.
Q: Why does a JAP close her eyes during sex?
A: She can't stand to see her husband having fun.
Q: What's the difference between a JAP and a bowling ball? (version 2)
A; If you really really had to, you could eat the bowling ball!
Q: What's the typical Jewish husband's version of foreplay?
A: Fifteen minutes of begging...
Q: What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a brick wall with a full erection?
A: He breaks his nose!
Q: What's the difference between a Jewish American Princess (JAP)and Jello?
A: Jello wiggles when you eat it!
Q: What's the difference between a JAP and a bowling ball?
A: You can only get three fingers into a bowling ball.
Q: Why does a JAP close her eyes during sex?
A: She can't stand to see her husband having fun.
Q: What's the difference between a JAP and a bowling ball? (version 2)
A; If you really really had to, you could eat the bowling ball!
Q: What's the typical Jewish husband's version of foreplay?
A: Fifteen minutes of begging...
Q: What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a brick wall with a full erection?
A: He breaks his nose!
Mother goes out to kitchen and finds 2 yr old son passed out and a empty bottle of bleach. She starts screaming omg omg!!
Husband comes running sees whats happening and reads aloud "if swallowed induce vomotting" now hysterical she ask how do we do that..the husband thinks for a second and says let him smell your cunt!!
Husband comes running sees whats happening and reads aloud "if swallowed induce vomotting" now hysterical she ask how do we do that..the husband thinks for a second and says let him smell your cunt!!
The foreplay and the breaking nose jokes had me laughing out loud. Can’t lie. Lol
This from Curb Your Enthusiasm. Super Dave Einstein as Marty Funkhauser telling this joke to Jerry Seinfeld. (as well as I can remember it)
"A woman is about to have sex for the first time with a man she has fallen in love with. They're both mature and she has already had a couple of kids.
She's worried that her vagina won't feel tight enough to him, so just before getting into bed with him she stuffs it full of liver that she has warmed for a few seconds in the microwave.
Anyways, the sex is fantastic!
The next day she wakes up and finds a note from him saying "My Love, last night was incredible. I had to get up early to go to work, but I can't wait to come back to see you tonight and make sweet love all over again. And by the way, your cunt is in the kitchen sink!"
"A woman is about to have sex for the first time with a man she has fallen in love with. They're both mature and she has already had a couple of kids.
She's worried that her vagina won't feel tight enough to him, so just before getting into bed with him she stuffs it full of liver that she has warmed for a few seconds in the microwave.
Anyways, the sex is fantastic!
The next day she wakes up and finds a note from him saying "My Love, last night was incredible. I had to get up early to go to work, but I can't wait to come back to see you tonight and make sweet love all over again. And by the way, your cunt is in the kitchen sink!"
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because You put on the wrong sock this morning.
Because You put on the wrong sock this morning.
An escort went to her accountant to do her taxes. After asking her some questions, accountant then asked her what she did for a living. She replied, “I’m a prostitute.”
The accountant looked at her and said, “I can’t put that down on the form. Can you give me a different occupation title?“
The escort replied, “Oh, sorry. Yes, you can list my occupation as escort.”
The stuck up accountant replied,”Ma’am I still can’t put that down. Can you give me a different occupation title? This is going to the IRS, you know.”
The escort, feeling a bit flustered and irritated, thought for a moment and then said, “Look, just put down ‘chicken farmer’ then.”
“Chicken farmer?!” replied the accountant. “How does your job make you a chicken farmer?!”
“Well, last year I raised over 300 cocks.”
The accountant looked at her and said, “I can’t put that down on the form. Can you give me a different occupation title?“
The escort replied, “Oh, sorry. Yes, you can list my occupation as escort.”
The stuck up accountant replied,”Ma’am I still can’t put that down. Can you give me a different occupation title? This is going to the IRS, you know.”
The escort, feeling a bit flustered and irritated, thought for a moment and then said, “Look, just put down ‘chicken farmer’ then.”
“Chicken farmer?!” replied the accountant. “How does your job make you a chicken farmer?!”
“Well, last year I raised over 300 cocks.”
It’s probably the equivalent to a wide nose joke abojt a Black person but i have an affinity towards Jewish men and love, love, love their attributes whether stereotypical or not… Adam Driver is a faaaaave.
Here's an old classic:
One day Little Johnny heard a noise and peeked into his parent's bedroom to check it out. He opened the door and saw his Mom bent over the dresser with his Dad pumping away behind her.
Johnny's Dad saw him and gave him a little smile and a wink, as Johnny closed the door.
After business was finished Dad went to check on Little Johnny, and opened his bedroom door to find Grandma bent over his dresser and Johnny going at it behind her.
Dad yelled "Johnny, what the hell are you doing?!?"
Little Johnny replied "Its not so funny when it's your Mom, is it?!?"
One day Little Johnny heard a noise and peeked into his parent's bedroom to check it out. He opened the door and saw his Mom bent over the dresser with his Dad pumping away behind her.
Johnny's Dad saw him and gave him a little smile and a wink, as Johnny closed the door.
After business was finished Dad went to check on Little Johnny, and opened his bedroom door to find Grandma bent over his dresser and Johnny going at it behind her.
Dad yelled "Johnny, what the hell are you doing?!?"
Little Johnny replied "Its not so funny when it's your Mom, is it?!?"
Last edited:
