What makes an older woman older?

Ogenstein

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Some weeks ago, I visited a masseuse, one known to this board. Days later, I wrote a review of the time I spent with her.

In that review, I wrote something to the effect that she was fine looking -- for an older woman. That's an oversimplification of it but...

What makes me think about this in a weird way is that based upon one of her postings, she's actually four years younger than me. This of course makes little sense.

How can someone younger than me be an older woman?

It makes little sense.

As I write this, I'm watching a movie called, "The American President." It stars Michael Douglas and Annette Bening.

I'm about an hour into the movie (including commercials). Some time ago, I thought to myself, that Ms. Bening is one heck of a good looking woman. I remember her from American Beauty and I don't recall being too impressed with her. I have a feeling that it was the intention of the moviemakers in that movie that she be portrayed an unattractive person.

I remember Bening from The Grifters. I thought she was scorching hot in a different way. She dropped the ball only because she wouldn't do naked. The women in Hollywood who interest me or perhaps fascinate me the most are: Halle Berry, Lexa Doig, Jessica Alba -- at least, off the top of my mind. Bening isn't really like any of those women. Forgetting appearances, she doesn't carry herself like any of those women. If it means anything, I think she's a better actress than any of those women.

Anyways, while watching the movie, I had a thought.

What makes for an older woman?

When this movie was released, Bening was something like 37 years old. She had done only one TV show prior to age 30. Good or bad, she wasn't your typical cupcake.

This is what I thought of. Even though I'm older now than she was when she acted in this movie, I still think of her as being an older woman.

It isn't older in the sense of being older than I am.

So what is it about?

My own vague, unfocused perspective is that women have about four stages in life. In this I generalize greatly. I haven't a clue about the stages of a man's life.

1. Teenager, or first blush
2. Young woman
3. Older woman
4. Too old woman

Note that actual years don't matter directly. I just looked it up, and evidently, according to imdb, Halle Berry is 39. She is an exquisite beauty. I am unable to think of her as an older woman. Jessica Alba is very much a young woman. There was a moment in Sin City, towards the end when she throws herself into the arms of Bruce Willis' character, that she overwhelmed me. I've been infatuated with her for as long as I can remember.

Annette Bening is in the 'older woman' category. Her physical charms are not that of Jessica or Lexa Doig but she is clearly a beautiful woman -- clearly to me.

I write this because this is the first time I have thought of women from this perspective. Perhaps because I just had a birthday, perhaps because I am aging. I do not know.

Just some rambling after seeing Ms. Bening looking good. Hot... maybe not. Interesting, attractive and very sexy? ... very much so.
 

AMWBT

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"Older"

I think the thing is, in a man's mind, he's always a teenager. And he thinks that having that gorgeous 25 year old on his arm is somehow a right, it's the "norm", so he's got to get his brain around the idea of a woman being older than 25, even when he himself is long past that age. When I was in the biz, I'd get reviews that talked about me as an "older" woman, and these guys were 25 years OLDER than me! Yes, it's absurd, but so are most men when it comes to this issue.

And Annette Bening was completely naked in Grifters, don't you remember the scene in the doorway?
 

lickrolaine

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I myself do not long for that"25 year old",unless it is the one in my dreams,lol.The 25 year olds I have met have neither the life skills,or the exp I want in a women.When I was 30 and even 35,the 25 year old may have appealed to me,but now in my late 40's,I lean towards the 30's plus group of women.I have even been with "older" women and had lots of fun.It has more to do with how you get there,not so much with why or when,lol.Meaning,if a women takes care of herself,she blossoms with age,and becomes more desirable,
imhop
 

homonger

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AMWBT said:
I think the thing is, in a man's mind, he's always a teenager. And he thinks that having that gorgeous 25 year old on his arm is somehow a right, it's the "norm", so he's got to get his brain around the idea of a woman being older than 25, even when he himself is long past that age. When I was in the biz, I'd get reviews that talked about me as an "older" woman, and these guys were 25 years OLDER than me! Yes, it's absurd, but so are most men when it comes to this issue.
In the real world, an "older" woman is simply one who is chronologically older than I. In sp circles, an "older" woman can be even just 26, just because so many sp's are younger than that, and because so many hobbyists have fantasies about being with young women. In the real world, I would never dream of trying to hit on a 21 year old. But when it comes to sp's, I figure why not? It is just a fantasy, so what the heck?

Although I am not young, I am still young enough where I think it is okay for me to want to be with 21-22 year old sp's. However, as I get older, will there come a time where that would just be inappropriate? Is it okay for a 60 year old to be with a 21 year old, or is that just too icky?
 

Ogenstein

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AMWBT said:
I think the thing is, in a man's mind, he's always a teenager. And he thinks that having that gorgeous 25 year old on his arm is somehow a right, it's the "norm", so he's got to get his brain around the idea of a woman being older than 25, even when he himself is long past that age. When I was in the biz, I'd get reviews that talked about me as an "older" woman, and these guys were 25 years OLDER than me! Yes, it's absurd, but so are most men when it comes to this issue.

And Annette Bening was completely naked in Grifters, don't you remember the scene in the doorway?
I dunno about a right but definitely a desire.

With a 25 or 21 year-old woman, age isn't an issue. In general, most women will probably be at their most physically attractive in those years. Yes, they can work out and lead healthy lives and thus improve their appearance but they don't need to do that when they are 23. Maturity isn't really a factor and it doesn't really need to be.

At some point, that changes. When the ratio of purely physical to maturity reaches a certain point, maybe that's when you have an older woman.

I don't really have an answer to my question. Just thinking out loud about something I've noticed.


By the way, I don't remember that scene. I watched the movie on TV and perhaps I saw an edited version.
 

Ogenstein

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DonQuixote said:
I agree. I have two daughters 25 and younger. For me to spend time with an SP
that age or younger is very icky and I make every effort to avoid that
situation. I am tempted, though. Only tempted.

Relative terms as older, heavier, gaudier all imply a subjective view.
When I was 18 a 25 yr old woman was older. Now it's icky! :eek:

It's Don's 'subjective relativity' test. Move over Albert E.
Now, how do I put that result in a mathematical formula?

Don, pondering the relative meaning of universal values.
[What did I just write?]
What happens as your daughters age reaches 30 or older? Will SPs of those ages also fall out of bounds?
 

moogama

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homonger said:
In the real world, an "older" woman is simply one who is chronologically older than I. In sp circles, an "older" woman can be even just 26,

whoa. be carefull. i think it was this don guy that was all over me for declaring a 41 year old chick as an older model. if it wasnt him sorry, but i think it was. and 26 i dont think is too old.
 

homonger

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moogama said:
whoa. be carefull. i think it was this don guy that was all over me for declaring a 41 year old chick as an older model. if it wasnt him sorry, but i think it was. and 26 i dont think is too old.
Please re-read what I said. I didn't mean to imply 26 is too old, but in the world of hobbyists and sp's, it isn't unusual for an older man to select an sp who is very young, because he is paying for the fantasy. Believe me, a 26 year old is a kid compared to me.
 

AMWBT

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lol!

DonQuixote said:
Maybe we should get together and play dominos or checkers some time
in the park. I'll be sitting on the bench feeding pidgeons and singing the
"September" song. Dark glasses and a fidora hat with a striped red and
white cane balanced on the bench next to me.

We can hoot at the cougars passing by. :eek:

Don

Now I know what you guys do when you retire! lol
 

moogama

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DonQuixote said:
You've got the right man.
Beware, I'm right behind you.
One wrong move and you'll be dispatched
to the delete bin. :cool:

thought i had the right guy. and 41 is too old. i do agree with different strokes for different folks(or senior citizens) but for the masses i think 41 is over the hill.
 

moogama

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DonQuixote said:
Careful, youngster. The grim reaper is my bro.

Beware, or I'll grab your nose ring and spin you
into oncoming traffic. My cane is a foil for a
scimitar sword. Scavanger birds and squirrels
will feast on your remains.

"Masses" as in shapeless, globs of rendered
animal fat. "I think" is a mere presumption on
your part.

Don.

This age group lacks civility and respect for wisdom
and fine wine.

did you say something? or was it just bad gas?
 

moogama

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DonQuixote said:
"Masses" as in shapeless, globs of rendered
animal fat. "I think" is a mere presumption on
your part.
i guess thats why you see predominantly over 40 year old girls on all the web pages then. ;)
 

JoyfulC

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"Older" or "mature" can be a character of spirit. Years ago, there was an escort in Montreal -- Annik -- although she was only in her 20s, I felt she was a very wise old soul.

I am now 47 (soon to be 48). I feel 19 most of the time, until I look in the mirror (and then I feel 29). But I see gentlemen in their 60s, 70s, 80s, and one in his 90s -- and they're all virile. In fact, some are shocked to learn that an 80-year-old gentleman from Florida visited me in June -- arrived around 8 AM and asked to be picked up, after which he elected to see me for one hour, my friend Julia for one hour, then the two of us together for one hour, before taking the train back to Montreal. I know gentlemen in their 30s and 40s who are in awe of this man! ;)

But when I think of the difference between 'younger' women and 'older' women (and men too -- although men are always kids), I think of it as one of sophistication. What if Bill Clinton had chosen to dally with a more mature (in sophistication at least, if not in years) woman than Monica Lewinsky -- a giddy young girl who couldn't keep a secret if it were crazy-glued to her? How might his reality come out differently? How might things be different for us today? Would people be dying in some senseless, illegal war-for-oil? Maybe not.

Many very young men have insisted to me that age is just a number -- but maturity is more than that. It's something no one over 40 will admit to, but anyone possessing discretion resulting from life experience has.

..c..
 

shack

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JoyfulC said:
Many very young men have insisted to me that age is just a number -- but maturity is more than that. It's something no one over 40 will admit to, but anyone possessing discretion resulting from life experience has.
Youth passes. But with luck, immaturity can last a lifetime.
 

Daddio

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Women are looking younger every year. 40 is the new 30. I would love to make it with an 18 year old and a 45 year old in a duo just to see the two of them interract and compare techniques.
 

Vancouver Femme Fatale

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What makes an older woman older?
The way she do that voodoo she do so well...I tell you what - Fluffy McBunnyslippers; 21-year-old 'girl next door' and Lexxxux McHooters; 19-year-old '3 video pornstar' don't got nothin' on us thirty-something ladies of the evening...

Takes a few years to get that air of mystery ;)
 

RTRD

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So true...

lickrolaine said:
I myself do not long for that"25 year old",unless it is the one in my dreams,lol.The 25 year olds I have met have neither the life skills,or the exp I want in a women.When I was 30 and even 35,the 25 year old may have appealed to me,but now in my late 40's,I lean towards the 30's plus group of women.I have even been with "older" women and had lots of fun.It has more to do with how you get there,not so much with why or when,lol.Meaning,if a women takes care of herself,she blossoms with age,and becomes more desirable,
imhop

Frankly I find that much more often than not I simply cannot bear to be around 20 somethings (male or female for that matter) for more than a handful of minutes. This especially the case for the females however - the way their brains seem to function (in most cases) just....annoys me. How they see the world, how they rationalize events...that smug sense of "I know everything I need to know...including what is best for you". We have examples of both genders here on this board.

Sigh - hell, as much as they may be pleasing to the eye, I find even the SIGHT of a 20 something female, depending on how she is dressed, annoys me. The Brittney Spears wannabe's - stomach laid bare with it is 5 degrees outside...wearing outrageously priced ugly boots because someone told them to (or the flip flops...for the love of GOD please let this trend blow by). I just see them and I thank the lord I'm not part of that dating pool any longer.
 
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