what is your most awkward .....

[sweetiepieexo]

that's crazy that you lost 250....

Gents rule number one NEVER EVER pay a room fee unless you actually need it afterwards (business trips).
As for the girlfriend story that is crazy ! I would have been so nervous!

My first time with a SP I was so nervous that I couldn't perform. Wasted $250 and a $100 room fee

30 some years ago, my GF and I were parked, making out in the back seat of my dad's car. Next thing I know, there're headlights behind us. Then came a knock on the window and flashlight shiny into the car. It was a lady cop doing her rounds and asked if we were ok. Haha. The windows were fogged up and we were putting our clothes back on in a hurry. She told us it was late and sent us on our way.

 

[sweetiepieexo]

with you. lol
Oh man ... that's bad lol .

Glad you are laughing with me, or is it at me?

There was also that time Indy SP had her puppy (not yet toilet trained) in the bedroom, and I step off bed into pile of puppy poo (

First time with an SP squirting, not knowing she's a squirter and soaks me and bed ( lucky it was not my bed.

Laugh away )

LL

 

[wangbang]

Ahhh, animals.

Was seeing a well known lady many years ago and as I was pumping away in mish her cat jumped up on my ass. Didn't know there was a cat in the condo and thought the lady was tickling my rear end.

Another time the lady mentioned that one of her dogs wasn't feeling well. Through the entire session her dog slept with it's face in one of my shoes. Tough to enjoy a good fuck when you are worried about getting a shoe full of puppy vomit.

Then there was the chipmunk.

 

[sweetiepieexo]

lol aww but I bet the puppy looked so cute !

Ahhh, animals.

Was seeing a well known lady many years ago and as I was pumping away in mish her cat jumped up on my ass. Didn't know there was a cat in the condo and thought the lady was tickling my rear end.

Another time the lady mentioned that one of her dogs wasn't feeling well. Through the entire session her dog slept with it's face in one of my shoes. Tough to enjoy a good fuck when you are worried about getting a shoe full of puppy vomit.

Then there was the chipmunk.

 

[oakvilleguy]

that's crazy that you lost 250....

Gents rule number one NEVER EVER pay a room fee unless you actually need it afterwards (business trips).
As for the girlfriend story that is crazy ! I would have been so nervous!

Yeah it was a lot of money back then, before they even had the Now magazine. Back in the day, it was cruising along Jarvis St, the ladies were streetwalkers and knew of the hotels in the area.

 

[RandyAndy2]

I think that I've mentioned this story before on this board, but it fits this thread.

I had just recently broken up with a GF of several years and was still a bit messed up emotionally, and decided to go to a MP to get my mind off the ex. I was getting up on top of the MPA and an image of the ex entered my head and my little guy wilted. That's not the most awkward part. I was trying to recover, to will the little fella back into working condition. To any who haven't experienced this, that is the worst thing you can do. My flop sweat started, and not just a little bit. Streams of sweat were dropping off me onto her and at that point I gave up on the attempt. I apologized to her and explained my situation. She was remarkably good about it, sympathized with me and said that she'd be happy to see me again after I was fully over my ex.

 

[sweetiepieexo]

aw mannn awkward. sorry to hear that randy ! As for the sweat , that is my biggest pet peeves. Sometimes people sweat so much that keeping a towel nearby can sometimes get mandatory lol!
glad she was understanding about it because some girls could get frustrated or annoyed and then act bitchy....


Oakvilleguy- yeah thank god for bp / now mag because if it wasn't here today.. well... neither would I... lol no streetwalker status for me !

I think that I've mentioned this story before on this board, but it fits this thread.

I had just recently broken up with a GF of several years and was still a bit messed up emotionally, and decided to go to a MP to get my mind off the ex. I was getting up on top of the MPA and an image of the ex entered my head and my little guy wilted. That's not the most awkward part. I was trying to recover, to will the little fella back into working condition. To any who haven't experienced this, that is the worst thing you can do. My flop sweat started, and not just a little bit. Streams of sweat were dropping off me onto her and at that point I gave up on the attempt. I apologized to her and explained my situation. She was remarkably good about it, sympathized with me and said that she'd be happy to see me again after I was fully over my ex.

 

[Niceness]

The first time I went to an MP, I nutted much, much quicker than I'd hoped. Pretty embarrassing.
The next time I went I was determined to last longer. Knowing that round two is always longer than round one, I jerked off in the shower right before the massage. Rookie mistake. What I didn't factor in was "reload time." I couldn't get it up (and the kind MPA tried her best) and skulked out of that session unsatisfied and ashamed.

 

[sweetiepieexo]

wowwww.. that is crazy.. First time guys to sps or mps the first is always the quickest.
lol. aw man I'm sorry to hear that . I'm sure the girl didn't think anything of it . Nothing to be ashamed about it..

The first time I went to an MP, I nutted much, much quicker than I'd hoped. Pretty embarrassing.
The next time I went I was determined to last longer. Knowing that round two is always longer than round one, I jerked off in the shower right before the massage. Rookie mistake. What I didn't factor in was "reload time." I couldn't get it up (and the kind MPA tried her best) and skulked out of that session unsatisfied and ashamed.

 

[Phil C. McNasty]

2 things I learned in life:

1. Women take it very, very personal if you can't get it up.
2. The greatest compliment you can pay a girl is an erection.

Am I right ladies??

 

[sweetiepieexo]

nope, there are many things that factor into that.

1.) if someone is nervous.
2.) if they masterbated before
3.) they could have a lot on their mind,

2 things I learned in life:

1. Women take it very, very personal if you can't get it up.
2. The greatest compliment you can pay a girl is an erection.

Am I right ladies??

 

[FTWWTF]

Ive got 2 stories.

First one , me and an ex GF decided to take a bus trip to the Hull Casino. On the way back, it was night time and dark on the bus. We were the youngest people on the bus by about 40 years. She started rubbing my leg, and one thing led to another and she went down on me. After we finished we didn't think anything about it. Then when we got back to our drop off point, they did some draws on the bus for decks of cards and stuff like that from the casino. We didn't win but the old guy sitting across from us won 2 decks , and as he was passing by us he handed me the cards and said thanx for the show, and gave me a wink and a smile.

Second story me and my SO, met online and we had a long distance relationship. The first time she came to visit me in my small little town, I had a house full. So we went for a drive , and ended up in a provincial park after dark. We were just getting down to business, when we saw another car pull in and shine its headlights on us. It was the OPP. after they took her ID, and realized that she was a couple hundred kms from home. They started asking her if she was there on her own free will, and was she alright. making it seem like she was kidnapped or something. It was a little uncomfortable for me.

 

[sweetiepieexo]

LOL the bus one is hilarious.
The second story is just basic protocol that the OPP and police have to follow when they see women with men so far from home.

 

[Caelus]

This thread is funny as hell... thanks for starting it sweetiepieexo

 

[sweetiepieexo]

lol your welcome ! keep em coming gents! don't be shy ! maybe ill share a few more stories. lol I got a couple..

 

[TheShadow]

I had an affair with a married woman who was 7 yrs older than me.
A bunch of us always spent Fri/Sat nights drinking at the same watering hole.Her old man always spent the entire evening in the men's room.
A few years into the affair,her cousin,who knew about us,happened to rent a room over that bar.
The three of us were normally the last to go home.
Her husband was always wasted early and never hung around.
So now the two of us would go upstairs to her cousins place to have sex,while she stayed on the couch until we were finished.
A few months later,while in the middle of heavy sex,there was a loud pounding on the door,and yelling coming from the hallway!!We told her not to let anyone in,but she actually did!!
The guy came storming into the bedroom,while we were both naked under the blankets,got on his knees on her side,and started crying about how much he loved her,and she shouldn't be with me.She came up with some clutch talking and convinced him to leave,or she'd call the police.She actually had a second Restraining Order out on him,so he took off pretty fast.
Fast forward 2 or 3 weeks.
Back in the bed upstairs pumping away,when ANOTHER POUNDING on the door!!
WTF!!
The cousin opened the door AGAIN!!
Same BS again.On knees,Whole ball of wax.
Except this was a different guy!
Trying to convince her that I was too young for her,and him being older,and having more money,was better to take care of her & her kids!!
She finally talked him into getting out too.

Two awkward moments,but stranger to me was that neither guy was her husband,who she still lived with!!

We changed our M.O.
After that,we went up to the apt before going into the bar for the evening!
Worked much better!!(LOL)

 

[eazy]

Long time ago went to see an sp....we are in the room doing our thing....she's now giving me a bj while I was standing up and her on her knees ... she left her personal phone on the night stand and it starts ringing and I look over

Told her it says mom calling.... she stops and it says sorry I really need to talk to her quickly ...so while she's talking to her mom I guess mom is asking what's she is up ...her response is school work but it's really Hard and smiles


She hangs up and we had a good laugh wish she was still around

 

[drc75]

Then there was the chipmunk.

I see what you did there!

 

[Phil C. McNasty]

nope, there are many things that factor into that.

1.) if someone is nervous.
2.) if they masterbated before
3.) they could have a lot on their mind

I was speaking more of those times when a guy cant get an erection because he doesnt think the girl is attractive enough

 

[sweetiepieexo]

lmaooo good stratergy. That's crazy ! those exs are crazy obsessive lol!

I had an affair with a married woman who was 7 yrs older than me.
A bunch of us always spent Fri/Sat nights drinking at the same watering hole.Her old man always spent the entire evening in the men's room.
A few years into the affair,her cousin,who knew about us,happened to rent a room over that bar.
The three of us were normally the last to go home.
Her husband was always wasted early and never hung around.
So now the two of us would go upstairs to her cousins place to have sex,while she stayed on the couch until we were finished.
A few months later,while in the middle of heavy sex,there was a loud pounding on the door,and yelling coming from the hallway!!We told her not to let anyone in,but she actually did!!
The guy came storming into the bedroom,while we were both naked under the blankets,got on his knees on her side,and started crying about how much he loved her,and she shouldn't be with me.She came up with some clutch talking and convinced him to leave,or she'd call the police.She actually had a second Restraining Order out on him,so he took off pretty fast.
Fast forward 2 or 3 weeks.
Back in the bed upstairs pumping away,when ANOTHER POUNDING on the door!!
WTF!!
The cousin opened the door AGAIN!!
Same BS again.On knees,Whole ball of wax.
Except this was a different guy!
Trying to convince her that I was too young for her,and him being older,and having more money,was better to take care of her & her kids!!
She finally talked him into getting out too.

Two awkward moments,but stranger to me was that neither guy was her husband,who she still lived with!!

We changed our M.O.
After that,we went up to the apt before going into the bar for the evening!
Worked much better!!(LOL)