what are they thinking???

[Sabiha]

By no means do i mean to imply that all men are the same, there are crazy women as well as crazy men, and normal women and normal men. but why do the crazy ones act so crazy????

about 2 months ago i was in a bar, and started to chat with a guy who seemed alright. we were both half in the bag but i was feeling friendly and so when i had to leave after 20 minutes we exchanged numbers. i didnt come onto this guy nor him me, it was just friendly talk.

and then the calls started, usually around 12-1am. the first couple times i answered and told him i was busy and out with friends (i naively thought he was just out and wanted to meet for a drink), but by the third call i was getting a little annoyed. like, why are you calling me repeatedly at this hour? i only met you for 20 minutes, do you really think i'm giong to come to your house and shag you? why dont you call in the daytime?

so anyway then the calls persisted, and i stopped answering. this went on for a few weeks then stopped for a few weeks, then i started getting calls every night, and one in the afternoon as well. i never answered any of them.

while i was on vacation for two weeks i kept my phone off and when i turned it back on, there he was again, 2 calls a day like clockwork.

then a week passed and he stopped calling and i was happy to be rid of him. but i spoke to soon because instead he started calling me with his number blocked. i accidentally answered once and al he had to say was, why have you been avoiding my calls? i said i have been away, listen i'll talk to you later and hung up the phone. perhaps i should have been a bitch right there and told him to screw off?

anyway since then he started calling me multiple times a night, peaking with 4 calls last night, 12am, 2am 4am 6am, and again today at 2pm. am i that charming? damn.

so i finally texted him and told him to please not call me anymore and hadnt he got the hint? to which, he CALLED AGAIN! i didnt pick up and texted him and had to be rude and informed him that if he called me again he could take it up with the police, after i provide them with his phone number, to which i received a text informing me that i was a fickle bitch and how quickly i had changed my schizo tune?????

should i just have been rude right from the start?????? sorry i had to vent!!! i am so glad that i am rid of him now!!!!!!!!

 

[Herodotus]

Yes, just be honest next time. Guys are generally pretty dumb and somewhat clueless when it comes to things like this. Many think that if a girl pays attention to him (and even gives digits!), "he's in there!"

(It's even worse when they're unstable like this guy sounds...)

Next time let him no once he's crossed the uncomfortable line and if you don't care about him, as you seem not to, then just tell him you're not in the least bit interested and why.

Who the hell calls at midnight when they're trying to make an impression anyway?

 

[y2kmark]

Not sure I get the picture....

If you didn't want him to call, why did you give him your number??

 

[johnnyone1]

No need to be rude atall. As you can see that just makes both of you upset.

He was not an annoyance at the beginning, so there was no need to brush him off. Once he became an annoyance to you you should have told him the truth -- that you were sorry that he drew the wrong message from you giving him your number, you now realize that that was a mistake and that you have no desire to have any further relationship with him, period.

If he continues to call, get a new, unlisted, phone number.

 

[Questor]

He is harassing you. On purpose. Because he feels rejected. He probably feels justified, judging by his text message, because in his mind you lead him on by giving him your number, thereby indicating that you were interested in him.

Not to blame the victim but...and this is speculation on my part...perhaps if you had indicated to him after the first or second call that he should not call you late at night, then the whole thing wouldn't have gone off the rails as it has. It sounds like he spends a lot of time in bars and so he's probably been out partying and trying to hit on women. By the end of the night he's had quite a few drinks, is lacking in judgement, and he wants to continue the party but he has no one to party with - BINGO - your number. Hence the calls.

If I am not mistaken, you were interested at some point in hooking up with this guy. Otherwise you wouldn't have given him your number. It was only after he proved himself to be an idiot that you lost interest. In his mind, you wanted to hook up, so he gave you a call when he was available - last call anyone? And then you gave him the cold shoulder. If he spends so much time drinking and hitting on women in bars, he's probably had his share of rejection, so he's really transferring all that anger to you now. Hence calls at 2 am, 4 am etc.

If you hear from him again, call the cops. He is being a complete idiot. He has no right to harass you like that. I even wonder if he is in violation of some stalking law. I am surprised you put up with it as long as you did. You don't owe him anything.

 

[Sabiha]

yes, in retrospect i guess i should have said something in advance...i guess i was hoping the old adage "out of sight out of mind" would apply to him and he would get the picture (after a month!!??) and leave me alone.

i was polite the first time i texted him asking him to leave me alone, but he persisted and i had to be rude. at least i have learnt something for next time, dont give out your number!!

 

[landscaper]

He might have stopped after a quick discussion early but probably not. You are done with him now so count your blessings especially if you are paying by the call.

 

[AZN_LOVER]

I agree that most men can be kinda clueless at times. It's better being direct.

That said, a 'normal' guy would take the hint after calling a couple of times. (during the DAY, not night)

I think this guy fell into the 1% creepy/obsessive/controlling category.

As others have said, if the calls continue I'd report him to the COPS

 

[tboy]

It is idiots like this that prevent decent guys from meeting decent women.....but on the other hand, maybe you're just so damn gorgeous that you put him under your womanly spell and he was lovestruck? heheheh

 

[GOLEAFSGO67]

Sabiha

You met for 20 minutes. Thought he was an friendly and OK guy! Gave him a number.

BUT THEN COMPLETELY AVOIDED THE GUY!

You need to get some balls as well......and when he calls..tell him straight. "I AM NOT INTERESTED" !

Too many cock teases out there. Why were you so scared to talk to a guy that seemed nice enough. He may well have been nice enough, but wanted to talk to you live.

It became a game to him. You gave him your number for gawds sakes. Anyone with manners would pick up the phone and talk. Its about lack of manners in todays society. Yes he had bad manners for calling and calling and calling. You need your manners improved as well!!

You assumed he wanted to shag you. How dare you assume that of every guy!!! How dare you think you are so hot that a guy actually wants to shag you. Pretentious are we!!!! Did you talk to him to find out if he truly was a nice guy? Did you lie about being out with friends? Manners my friend...Manners!!


If you had chatted to him at the start..Like an adult..instead of childishly avoiding the calls.....it would have been settled. Now you both look like losers!!

 

[dreamblade]

No you didn't lead him on, you never made any indication you were anything more than friendly towards him.

Unfortunately, for some people (male and female), being friendly means you're into them. If you're into them, it must mean you will want to have sex with them. If you'll have sex with them, it means you must love them. If you love them, it means you must want to marry them.

This little paraphrase of a Dresden Dolls song goes through their heads in the span of seconds, and they are convined you'll be happy to hear from them no matter what they hour. It's your "special time together".

Creepy. Stalker. Call the cops on him, what he's been doing so far already falls under harassement.

 

[berzerker]

I think the only mistake Sabiha made was to keep avoiding his calls and not being honest with him earlier.

Come on people...no regular guy calls 4 times the same night at 4 am, the guy is obviously a nut job. It doesn't matter if he's been "cockteased" or lead-on.

I'm curious though...Sabiha, did you ever had a hint your were giving your # to a creep, or was he the charming American psycho type?

 

[HaileyGirl]

Ah the lovely 'the bar is closed and i didnt pick up so i thought id try you' calls. I get those from a lot of my exes. It used to piss me off but now I have the last laugh when I tell them "sure come on over just bring $300 cash and dont forget I am on the clock...but that wont be a problem for you will it?"

Passive aggressive perhaps but hey it stops the calls The best part is that they dont believe me

 

[Lou Siffer]

You assumed he wanted to shag you. How dare you assume that of every guy!!! How dare you think you are so hot that a guy actually wants to shag you. Pretentious are we!!!

You think he had something else on his mind late at night? Bowling,maybe? Come on, I don't even know her and I want to shag her. We're guys, that's what we want. He just went about it the wrong way.

Sabiha, I think most stable guys would get the hint on their own, but it would have been easier if you were honest with him after the first call.

 

[Sabiha]

I think the only mistake Sabiha made was to keep avoiding his calls and not being honest with him earlier.

Come on people...no regular guy calls 4 times the same night at 4 am, the guy is obviously a nut job. It doesn't matter if he's been "cockteased" or lead-on.

I'm curious though...Sabiha, did you ever had a hint your were giving your # to a creep, or was he the charming American psycho type?

he seemed nice and fairly interesting at the time, and i would have gone to meet him for a drink some evening if he had called me at a reasonable hour instead of repeatedly late at night. i guess i should count my lucky stars he didnt, who knows what would have happened then!!

 

[ROGER O. THORNHILL]

Just say "No"

All women have to do is say: "No, Thank You", right off the get-go and you'll completely avoid any situation like this. If you don't want a guy to call you, DON'T give him your number. A (girl) friend of mine is going through this right now and regrets ever doing it.

 

[Mikehorn]

This thread reminds me of this guy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m75g_A731q0

 

[alexmst]

Unfortunately, for some people (male and female), being friendly means you're into them. If you're into them, it must mean you will want to have sex with them.

So, drunk guys should hit on the girls at the bar who aren't being friendly towards them instead?

 

[STASH]

I can't believe anyone here who would support this Psycho.

Who the fuck calls someone in the middle of the night every two hours.

Nut Jobs....thats who !!!!

That'ss all ya need to know about this worthless human

No real need to even discuss this. I would have called the cops after two days if he didn't heel.

 

[a 1 player]

I can't believe anyone here who would support this Psycho.

Who the fuck calls someone in the middle of the night every two hours.

Nut Jobs....thats who !!!!

That'ss all ya need to know about this worthless human

No real need to even discuss this. I would have called the cops after two days if he didn't heel.

I agree, he was a nut.