Unbelievable experience!!
- Thread starter stinkynuts
- Start date
There are many ways to help others without putting oneself in harms way...what good are you to yourself or your family with a brick lodged in your brain? You could donate some money to underprivileged third world communities through Plan Canada for example. If you fail to see the positive in the OP's story you missed the boat entirely
I once gave a car ride to a slightly older women who looked in trouble and lost. Shortly after I picked her up she demanded money. I explained the to picked her up case she looked like she needed help and I want going to give her money. She then said she was going to claim that I tried to sexually assault her. I remember I started sweating and my legs started shaking. I told her I was going to drive her to the police station and we'd settle it there. I was cool outside but freaking and crying and having trouble breathing on the inside. . As we got close to police station at Eglington and young she hoped out of my car. I still sent I'm and told them the wholes story. One of the officers King is snickered and said they know of a female like that. The others said never to pick up a stranger a gain. If someone looks like they need help call 911. But never bring a stranger into your car. .
I'm ferry Leary of people in we'll chairs btw. Especially if it's not a power wheel chair and the person doesn't have a personal assistant.
I'm ferry Leary of people in we'll chairs btw. Especially if it's not a power wheel chair and the person doesn't have a personal assistant.
Sorry to hear about your bad experience stinkynuts!
For many years in the past I volunteered with homeless youth and never had such an incident as yours. Often the homeless are more at risk of being injured by others than of being the culprit of such actions. My strong guess is that he suffers from mental illness, which makes his actions understandable, but not justifiable. I'm all for helping others, but would never accept behaviour like that from anyone, no matter what their circumstances. Be glad that you came out of this relatively unscathed, but please don't stop being a kind, generous soul. Use this experience as a learning tool and if you ever get that vibe again, walk away guilt free. I learned a long time ago that you can't possibly help everyone, you have to pick and choose your battles, or in this case, when to be altruistic or not.
Chin Up!
For many years in the past I volunteered with homeless youth and never had such an incident as yours. Often the homeless are more at risk of being injured by others than of being the culprit of such actions. My strong guess is that he suffers from mental illness, which makes his actions understandable, but not justifiable. I'm all for helping others, but would never accept behaviour like that from anyone, no matter what their circumstances. Be glad that you came out of this relatively unscathed, but please don't stop being a kind, generous soul. Use this experience as a learning tool and if you ever get that vibe again, walk away guilt free. I learned a long time ago that you can't possibly help everyone, you have to pick and choose your battles, or in this case, when to be altruistic or not.
Chin Up!
Good on you for trying to do the right thing and helping someone in need.
Don't let the experience discourage you from doing good for others in need. We need more of you in the world.
You are a good soul but just need to be a little less naive and not put yourself in compromising or dangerous situations.
There are all kinds of underlying psychological issues people may have including having others feel sorry for them.
They are angry with the world and life for having dealt them a serious blow.
You lose nothing by helping others but create good Karma that could cancel out bad Karma that has accumulated.
We are all here to Love and help each other but some are stuck in their ways, proud, angry or don't want to be helped.
Help but be careful for your own safety as well.
I'm naive in this way too but so far have been unscathed.
Don't let the experience discourage you from doing good for others in need. We need more of you in the world.
You are a good soul but just need to be a little less naive and not put yourself in compromising or dangerous situations.
There are all kinds of underlying psychological issues people may have including having others feel sorry for them.
They are angry with the world and life for having dealt them a serious blow.
You lose nothing by helping others but create good Karma that could cancel out bad Karma that has accumulated.
We are all here to Love and help each other but some are stuck in their ways, proud, angry or don't want to be helped.
Help but be careful for your own safety as well.
I'm naive in this way too but so far have been unscathed.
You did the right thing. That should never stop you from being a good person or lending a hand to someone in need.
ALWAYS take the higher ground.
The guy is obviously mentally ill.
I keep a quote from Mother Teresa with me at ALL times:
People are often unreasonable and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind,people may accuse you of ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you.
Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do it anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.
It was NEVER between you and them anyway.
ALWAYS take the higher ground.
The guy is obviously mentally ill.
I keep a quote from Mother Teresa with me at ALL times:
People are often unreasonable and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind,people may accuse you of ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you.
Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do it anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.
It was NEVER between you and them anyway.
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Folks, there is nothing wrong with helping the needy. Whether overweight, underweight, etc. I don't care. The weight is not the issue. But after you genuinely help someone and then they demand more, not ask? My response is, get out of my car! I have never hit anybody, don't fight, and am a true gentle person (in my opinion anyway). But don't demand anything from me after I am trying to help you. Take what you get, since I might be in the same position, and you just don't know it. Never assume that since I am driving a car, and have $50 in my wallet means I have $50 to give you. And for those with phones, let them take their video. But I would have kicked him out, and thrown his wheelchair along with him.
I'm glad you shared this story. You deserve a lot of credit for the concern that you showed this man.Today I was getting some groceries on Lawrence Avenue. As I walked out, I saw a man in a wheelchair, on the edge of the street, trying to make his way up it. He yelled, "Push me! Push me!" and started to point to the road ahead. I went up to him, and told him to get off the road, as there was no way I would be pushing him down oncoming traffic. I was worried about his safety, and felt sorry for the guy. I then tried to push him up the sidewalk, but he was very heavy, and was not cooperating.
I then told him that I would take him down the street in my car. I led him to the passenger side, and he took my thermos that was lying on the seat and flung it to car floor. It took a long time for me to get his massive body inside the car, and I folded his dirty wheelchair and put it in the trunk. "Where are you from? China" he asked when he got in the car. I am Canadian of Asian descent, and found this question offensive. He seemed to be mocking me because of my background.
He then told me to go to Tim Hortons. I did, and it seemed like he was getting his money ready. When I asked him what he wanted, he told me to pay with a $20 and give him the change. It was then I realized that this guy was not just some unfortunate guy in a wheelchair, but rather a homeless man. I didn't want to take out my wallet, as it has a lot of money in it, and I didn't want him to see the bills. Instead, I took out a bunch of change from my pocket (about $10 worth). The man then demanded that I give him all of the change. I hesitated, but I was worried that if I refused, he might get violent. So I handed it over to him, and paid for the coffee.
The man grabbed a pillow that was in my backseat, and asked me if he could have it. I refused, and really didn't like him touching it. He then reached behind and grabbed a bottled water, but it was frozen, so he threw it back.
When I dropped him off, I felt very relieved. Despite his behaviour, I felt bad for him, and took out a $10 bill, and offered it to him. "No, give me $20!" he demanded. I was shocked. I refused, of course, and then put the ten dollar bill back into my wallet. He then changed his mind, and asked for it, but I went into my car. He then yelled at me, "Push me! Push me!"
I wanted to get the hell away from him, and I almost got into a car accident because I was so upset. I drove away very shaken from the experience. Never have I experienced anything like this before with a homeless man. A week ago, I gave a homeless man $20 and he was very appreciative.
This man treated me like a personal slave, and acted as if $10 was an insult. I helped him into my car, put away his filthy wheelchair, got him a coffee, gave him $10 in change, drove him to where he wanted, and offered him $10, but instead of being grateful, he was very unappreciative, and even ordered me to push him around.
I know this is not typical, but it does make me wonder if I will be so helpful next time I see someone like that.
However, what it really shows is how harmful it is to have laws which allow people who clearly have mental illness to govern their own lives, thereby putting themselves and others into harms way. Mental health law reform is long overdue. The experiment of allowing such persons to try to integrate back into the community on their own has simply not worked, and accounts for a significant portion of the homeless in Toronto.
Hopefully, Premier Wynne is an avid TERB reader and will set her policy wanks onto doing something truly worthwhile that actually helps people.
Thanks for sharing and i don't think you asked for advice but here it is anyway:
No good deed ever goes unpunished - do it anyway I say..... Just don't let anyone dictate what level of kindness you are willing to offer - if it feels wrong, it is!
You were absolutely right in trying to get him out of harms way but once he gave you attitude and insisted you push him down the road, that should've ended the encounter.
And as a rule of thumb, never let any stranger in your personal space, (car, home, etc.), there's always a better option.
Lesson learned I hope.
No good deed ever goes unpunished - do it anyway I say..... Just don't let anyone dictate what level of kindness you are willing to offer - if it feels wrong, it is!
You were absolutely right in trying to get him out of harms way but once he gave you attitude and insisted you push him down the road, that should've ended the encounter.
And as a rule of thumb, never let any stranger in your personal space, (car, home, etc.), there's always a better option.
Lesson learned I hope.
I was on Younge Street walking towards Dundas Square and some homeless woman approached me asked me for change. I didn't have any change to give her and no cash on me. She started complaining about how hungry she was. I offered her the apple I had from my lunch. It's all I had to give her. She took it and threw it at my head (Fortunately I ducked and she missed) and start swearing at me. I quickly got away from her. I was very shaken and angry.
She wasn't hungry, she wanted money and it doesn't take an Einstein to figure out what she wanted the money for.
She wasn't hungry, she wanted money and it doesn't take an Einstein to figure out what she wanted the money for.
Thank you for all the replies. I have read them all, and am happy to hear your support.
I will continue to help out a fellow creature in need, it is in my nature to do so. However, I will be more careful. I will never allow someone in my car or house, as it is too risky, and not worth the potential consequences.
I should have known that he was scamming me when he would not move up the sidewalk. I think it is his MO, as someone said. Anyway, lesson learned. Thanks again for all your input.
I will continue to help out a fellow creature in need, it is in my nature to do so. However, I will be more careful. I will never allow someone in my car or house, as it is too risky, and not worth the potential consequences.
I should have known that he was scamming me when he would not move up the sidewalk. I think it is his MO, as someone said. Anyway, lesson learned. Thanks again for all your input.
A friend of mine told me a story when she was younger she had $50 that she was going to use to buy some clothes. She was saw a homeless man that was begging and pleading for money telling her a sob story. She felt so bad for him that she gave him $50. She later saw the same person coming out of a liquor store with a bottle of booze. After hearing that story I decided not to give money to homeless people anymore rather give them tangible items like food and clothing.
