Topics That Should Be Discussed More Often: A Detailed List (SP Edition)

[Milana_Miro]

I'm fascinated by this industry. Once I became "eligible" I researched and lurked for about 2 months, including tracking discussions, making charts, etc. before pulling the trigger. My biggest surprise was how "normal" the ladies were. At least for the ladies I visited, I saw them engaged in the industry as an act of autonomy, not as an act of desperation. Most have done well. I've seen ladies who got in/got out with a nest egg, beaming confidence, strength, and better than they came in- just wonderful. But I've also seen ladies degrade, spend their cash like drunken sailors and end up in a trash heap of drugs and desperation. Some more florid mental illness. Thankfully very few in amongst the ladies I've visited with over the years.

It was also ...disappointing, maybe not surprising...to see my fellow men through the eyes of these ladies and seeing the scum-baggery for which a few engage. Or how they seem to not understand that these women are human beings first and foremost, and it takes courage to do this gig, and that the formula for optimizing one's encounters are to understand her as a person and see it through her eyes. Yet some blokes are still "i paid, I own, fuck your feelings". Some blokes really put out that entitled incel vibe. Yet others enjoy the lush beauty of punching above our weight with lovelies beyond reach who makes us not feel our age or appearance. And good sps provide the full service, such that it helped my psych state better than any medications.

You sound like a kind and caring person! This comment genuinely warmed my heart.

Is it okay if ask a couple of questions? What would be the opposite of “normal”? Who did you expect to meet, what type of people? I just know there are something interesting things to uncover in terms of stereotypes and/or biases.

About the ladies who “flourish” vs the ones who “degrade”: have you noticed any patterns or common denominators based on which it would be possible to predict where the provider will eventually find herself? Let’s theorize

 

[Milana_Miro]

3) I don't want to hear any SP sob stories when I'm there for my happy hour.

Hahahah, this is super ironic. I just saw a post on Twitter X yesterday where an SP was questioning whether she was “bad at her job” because she couldn’t stand the mental workload. “Stop dumping your trauma on me — I’m not your wife! It RUINS my mood”. Oops

 

[Milana_Miro]

Thank you, this is interesting.

1 and 2)
I was interested in the business model and how the economics worked between the agency, the sp and us. I didn’t want to ask, partly because I’m there to bang and partly because I didn’t want to be invasive. Eventually several ladies randomly started talking about it, I asked a few questions and now I’m good.

3) I’m not interested in commentary around donation amount being too high unless the commentary is directly linked to service.

4) industries operating in the shadows are dangerous for everyone. They should be brought into the light, be legalized, be normalized, be taxed, and be regulated. Additionally, I do not believe in no review policies and I do not see ladies with no review policies for that reason.

5) Worst and best experience threads are great. There was a guy named Paprika that created some pretty long, albeit slightly unhinged, threads, I enjoyed those. At a principled level, any thread that asks a question and results in discourse/dialogue is generally interesting.

3) “Related to service” vs related to what? Looks?
4) Just to be a contrarian: “legalized” is not always better than “decriminalized”.

“Decriminalization implies the repeal of prostitution‑related criminal law, leaving in place generic criminal and other laws to address the industry. While some minimum level of prostitution‑specific regulations may be put in place, the object is to treat prostitution like any other occupation.

Legalization refers to the specific regulation of prostitution through criminal law, labour law or other legislation. This approach treats prostitution as a legal occupation that is nevertheless controlled by a set of rules to govern who can work and under what circumstances they can do so. Typically, governments that have adopted the legalization approach regulate the trade through work permits, licensing and/or tolerance zones”. From “Prostitution: A Review of Legislation in Selected Countries” by Lara Coleman.

4) Why are you against NRP? What’s fundamentally wrong with that?

Thank you for your comment. I’m looking forward to our discussion

 

[onomatopoeia]

Alriiiiight! It’s not on libgen.is so feel free to share the link! In fact, I would love more books recommendations (about this industry, human sexuality and all things sex-related). I got some pretty great suggestions from the girlies; now it’s your turn, boys! If you’re up to it, of course 🤍

Milana, you could find the book by searching for it by title on https://utorontopress.com/ (Sex Work in Popular Culture).

It hasn't been released yet, but I should get one of the first copies, from Lauren herself. I'll suggest to her that creating a handle on this board could have benefits for her once the book has been released. She could discuss the book/ answer questions, without having to have a blue handle.

I'll provide my own opinions on whether or not I think the book is worth purchasing. I just get a free copy, so I would have no incentive to shill.

 

[Milana_Miro]

Do you disclose to your doctor what you do? Do you do anything special to your "equipment" to keep it in good shape?

If I a car was used for extreme duty like taxi service and experience more wear and tear it should be maintained on a severe duty cycle.

Okay, actually I do have a story about how I once made the mistake of disclosing my working status to a doctor. It was the first and the last time of me being honest with a medical professional when it comes to SW. It was a very sobering experience. Honestly, one could argue that even your therapist is not to be trusted with such information— it really depends on why you are in therapy in the first place. If work has nothing to do with it — AHT AHT — slow down that mouth of yours, girl. You might have the best therapist in the world, but is he immune to prejudice? .

As to “wear and tear” — I don’t know what you have to do as a provider to even worry about that. It’s a muscle, you know? You can even exercise it during sex by “gripping” the . I always use the lube and take a gentle shower after. Like, really gentle. So, it’s not “wear and tear”, it’s just life when you have sensitive skin I feel like laser will solve this problem for me once and for all!

 

[kherg007]

You sound like a kind and caring person! This comment genuinely warmed my heart.

Is it okay if ask a couple of questions? What would be the opposite of “normal”? Who did you expect to meet, what type of people? I just know there are something interesting things to uncover in terms of stereotypes and/or biases.

About the ladies who “flourish” vs the ones who “degrade”: have you noticed any patterns or common denominators based on which it would be possible to predict where the provider will eventually find herself? Let’s theorize

Thanks for you kind words, fair dinkum. I reckon "not normal" means ladies who seem butt stupid, or abused, mentally ill, strung out on various drugs, or just non communicative. Yet, my fave ladies are lovely, knowledgeable and grounded such that we can have interesting conversations, etc., in fact people you'd enjoy chatting with fully clothed over a coffee or drink. I'm not sure what I expected, but I reckon all those feared types swirled in my mind prior to my first meeting ever, and i was really anxious but prepared. I will admit reading reviews here at terb helped heaps in giving me confidence that I'd avoid the worse case scenarios. And, after taking advantage of various reviews to produce a great hit rate of great encounters, I figured time to give back and I began writing reviews, but trying to be sensitive to the lady in the process. It has to be hard having people write about your face or arse or kitty etc lol. I know I wouldn't want that level of scrutiny on me. However, it's the business we've chosen so reviews are essential.

Flourish v degrade is a great question. I'm not sure. One lady I realized was bipolar, but not sure when that began to present. Did the biz exacerbate it? Not sure. I tried to help her but she spiraled downward.

1)One good test I learned was if you ask a lady what she plans to do with her money. If she does not provide a positive prosocial response i think she's more at risk. Thus the "paying for uni and getting a deposit on a unit" VS "I wanna get a full Armani wardrobe and hit the clubs whenever I want" might distinguish the 2.

2) I think those ladies who are persuaded by others to enter the biz are more at risk - e.g., having the "manager-boyfriend" who says he can make them lots of dough but never shares w the woman and in essence is a pimp. Those who enter on their own maybe less. Having a stronger sense of control would be the key variable.

3) Ladies who enter via desperation at risk too, as they may need to interact with a worse client base where getting hurt/robbed pimped goes up, and that increases drug use etc to numb /self medicate themselves.

Anyhow, off the top of my head. Thoughts? Keep up the good work!

 

[Milana_Miro]

100 percent. You nailed it, my man. You can pretty much tell who the douchebags are from the way they write their reviews -- a sense of entitlement to any service they desire, unnecessary disparaging remarks about a lady's looks (there are tactful ways of getting that point across and then there are flat-out insults), an undercurrent of machismo from guys who probably live in their parents' basement, and some guys who ordinarily couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a fistful of pardons trying to portray themselves as dimestore studs who'd make the ghost of John C. Holmes envious.

“…Some guys couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a fistful of pardons trying to portray themselves as dimestore studs who'd make the ghost of John C. Holmes envious” — this is poetry. And then it got ten times better when I opened his Wiki page: “Holmes was best known for his exceptionally large penis, which was heavily promoted for its length, hardness, thickness, and staying power” Hahahhahaha please This is perfect.

I would like to learn more about how you say things that have the potential to be insulting in a tactful way. Could you give me some examples? Is this why some reviewers sound like mythical creatures that want you to solve a series of riddles before you step into their forest?

 

[Milana_Miro]

Yeah, and then there are us Double Aught spies...complete with swimmin' pools. You know Jethro, us movie stars!

But then again, I hear tell Dash Riprock is on TERB too! Can't find his handle any more tho...

Then you have the delusional self-over rated high falutin' Miss Hathaway sounding courtesans whose self-aggrandizing verbose websites with $500++/hr"honorariums" try to tell us that hot, younger agency girls $250hr are over-rated! (And no, I'm not speaking about the OP who sounds super nice and authentic! )
Like in this scene!

Hahahaha! Well, what can I say. Delusional, furiously optimistic or speaking reality into existence — let us be. Plus, it’s not that we want more money; we want less of not-so-great or straight up bad clients. I know it’s unfair of me to assume that people who have less money to spend are ALL bad clients just like it would be unfair to say that ALL rich dudes are fantastic and considerate. But, let’s be real, I don’t do 30 min appointments anymore for a reason. There are some things I don’t want to hear a man say to my face ever again

Did somebody actually say that about “hot, younger agency girls”? Where did you get it from? What gave you this impression of whorearchy?

 

[Milana_Miro]

I think he was thinking more in terms of taking it out of your ass. Who can put a price on that?

Anyway. Just what we need. More discussion. Not enough of that here.

Participation is not obligatory… Just saying.

 

[Milana_Miro]

3) Anything you don’t want to hear anymore?

Long winded discussions

Then stop reading?

 

[Milana_Miro]

…God forbid the are a lot of letters in one place. Robert will simply perish.

Thank you, everybody who has contributed so far. It means a lot. I want to respond to everybody because I appreciate my fellow yappers very much

To be continued!

 

[onomatopoeia]

@SchlongConery: ..." I hear tell Dash Riprock is on TERB too! Can't find his handle any more tho... "

Perhaps you were thinking of Bolt Upright?

Bolt and I were buds. I can honestly say that he's the only guy on this board, (and on another board which is now a ghost town), where I believe EVERYTHING he said.

My last contact with him was some years ago. Apparently someone had outed him to his missus, and he decided to retire... from message boards.

 

[golfdude]

4) Why are you against NRP? What’s fundamentally wrong with that?

This is a review board, I would think the answer to that is pretty obvious. No reviews = no board.

 

[Cbr20152012]

3) “Related to service” vs related to what? Looks?
4) Just to be a contrarian: “legalized” is not always better than “decriminalized”.

“Decriminalization implies the repeal of prostitution‑related criminal law, leaving in place generic criminal and other laws to address the industry. While some minimum level of prostitution‑specific regulations may be put in place, the object is to treat prostitution like any other occupation.

Legalization refers to the specific regulation of prostitution through criminal law, labour law or other legislation. This approach treats prostitution as a legal occupation that is nevertheless controlled by a set of rules to govern who can work and under what circumstances they can do so. Typically, governments that have adopted the legalization approach regulate the trade through work permits, licensing and/or tolerance zones”. From “Prostitution: A Review of Legislation in Selected Countries” by Lara Coleman.

4) Why are you against NRP? What’s fundamentally wrong with that?

Thank you for your comment. I’m looking forward to our discussion

3) yes - quite a laundry list probably. Looks. Relative to other SP. Relative to some arbitrary $ amount a person has in their mind. Some Threads on here are full of commentary about it. I’m in an industry that charges by the hour as well, potential clients coming to me over improved service or more competent service and then complaining about why I cost more than their current person really rub me the wrong way.

4) legalized. For the reasons i referred to. Easiest way of increasing safety for all, reduces social stigma/normalizes an aspect of life that really should be normalized by now, as well as it, in theory, economically trickles through to the tax base.

Though, to be fair, I have not thought about the contrasting positives of decriminalization and would be interested in hearing about those. It’s my understanding, perhaps incorrectly, that certain aspects are already decriminalized.

4) this site has been very useful to me in reducing the likelihood of poor experiences through reviews. Policies restricting reviews are contrary to the flow of information to the consumer. Being the consumer, i don’t like NRP. I do differentiate between a NRP and instances where a Well reviewed SP communicates something along the lines of “I’m well established and well reviewed, I appreciate no further reviews”. I feel that is reasonable as long as service/experience remains consistent with the preexisting reviews.

 

[Milana_Miro]

Personally, I think it is an honourable, profession and should be more respected for the important role it plays in society. And the increased beneficial role it could play in society if it were less stigmatized.




My specific advice to any sex worker is to really assess the true earning potential you have with your non-sex work skills and live accordingly, if not more frugally.

You are not really running a business per se as much as you are practicing a profession. Agencies run a 'business'.

Physicians run a professional practice like you. Rent, supplies, advertising, expenses etc. But they are trading their time for services. Their time is perishable. If they don't work that day or that hour, they do not make any money. Only incur expenses.

Typically a business has cost of goods and/or services sold at a mark up. Like a plumbing contractor or chain of medical clinics. Or say escort, travel and employment agencies. They make money from the mark up. A pilot doesn't make money unless HE is flying, while an airline makes money even when the founding President is no longer an active pilot. Business' can subsist without the owner's hourly presence and/or service. Your 'business' can't.

Not to say you shouldn't practice your profession without good business practices like actually keeping real accounting records. data and analysis is the only way to managing your yield/sweet spot/price point. Don't let pride or feelings fool you!

Unless you are a mid-level lawyer, specialist physician or business owner, very few people can earn $500 hour, or even $200/hr. In fact, most sp's I've come to know realistically might not be able to sustain a normal job that pays $30/hr.

Yet they live a lavish lifestyle, even moreso than a $250k lawyer or MD. And foolishly on purses, shoes etc. And even worse, wasting thousands of dollars on fucking extensive, and I mean extensive tattoos that literally brand them permanently such that they will never really be accepted into the strata of society that their current income would suggest they could.

So... live as if you were working a normal job paying $30/hr (or even minimum wage if that is realistically your real world earning potential) and SAVE and invest every other dollar you earn. Use it towards actually getting an education in a well paying field. Not as a marketing "paying my tuition" schtick.

One day, every SW will, for one reason or another find that they can no longer earn what they did, or even work at all. I read that you yourself recently suffered some sort of TBI or other serious injury. There is NO notice for life-changing events. And if you are living like a movie star (or even relying on high income to rent or pay your mortgare and car payments) you could be literally homeless in a couple of months, Have a year's expenses as an emergency fund.

Establish credit by paying taxes, at least on some of your income. Use it at 1/3 of your limits to increase your credit score but ALWAYS have the cash to pay it off on hand.

Only use credit to buy a house. NEVER finance a car. It is a depreciating asset that becomes a net and ongoing liability the day you buy it. New and used alike. Buy a decent late model around 3 years old used car and pay cash for it. Or borrow half to establish or enhance your creditworthiness.

I have more, and more valuable tax and business advice... PM for barter terms . But basically realize that you are not worth what you get paid in the sex biz, outside of it. So don't fool yourself. Enjoy, don't spoil yourself. Be prudent. It is worth noting the word 'Spoil' is a negative. Meaning for something to go bad. Spending more on yourself, or having others do so, spoils your mind into thinking you deserve it.

No offence to you personally but for all the 'high end companionship', 'intelligent conversation', and 'emotional intimacy' girls think guys are paying for, without a pussy or pretty face to fuck, these guys wouldn't pay a dime for an sp's time nor 'spoil' a civillian girl who thinks she 'deserves' it.

Make hay while the sun shines but put away some of the harvest to keep the farm running when you fall off or can't plant the corn yourself!

Well said! Would you mind elaborating what exactly is the role of a sex worker and what makes it so important?

You know, there’s a lot of good stuff in your comment. I love it.

Fuck it, we yap! Good point about frugality, but what about sex workers who see it as their career? There are actually formulas out there to calculate your rates based on your monthly budget and number of hours you are planning to work on average. It’s in one of Amanda Brook’s books. Good read.

Oh, I fundamentally disagree with you on this one. Working for an agency is like being a private contractor. When you are independent, you are running a business. You didn’t account for the following: maintenance (hair/nails/working out), presentation (photoshoots, candids, outfits, makeup), advertisement (copy writing, blogging, maintaining social media presence), creating online content (blogs, podcasts, videos), admin work (answering emails, texts, screening, booking clients), working space (your incall represents you), interpersonal skills and, finally, the “service” itself. By the way, I don’t like this term. It’s not goods or services, it’s an experience as a whole that is being purchased. Sometimes, people pay for a fantasy more than the actual sex. Anyways, I like to think of it as my business, but I get your point!

Yield, sweet spot, price point? What do you do for work? I need to know.

Counter-argument: most SPs spending lavishly on shoes have an image to maintain, but they also usually have multiple investments and a passive income at the same time. Well, I like to think they do.

Tattoos hate is valid. I dislike tattoos on most people, men especially. I only like my tattoos.

Oh, wait, interesting: you think a lot of people use being a student as some marketing technique? I have news for you, there has been a drastic increase in female students turning towards sex work and I don’t like it at all. It’s indicative of an issue that we, as society, are not addressing properly. Education should not cost as much as it costs right now.

I did get a concussion and my nose was fractured. Yes, it was a setback. Not just financially. This is why savings are important.

The car advice is noted; I’m buying this summer.

I mean, yeah pretty face and tight pussy are essential, but they can only get you so far without the emotional intelligence, at very least IMHO.

Also, I think there are a lot of people who do have appreciation for the companionship itself. Being hot is kinda a prerequisite, the rest is of it (skills, personality, intelligence, character) matter to clients as little as nothing or means to them everything. But yes, “hot” is the most important thing

Thank you for sharing all this with me!

 

[Milana_Miro]

Fabulous post, SchlongConery. You are so eloquent on the obvious issue that sooner or later, every sex worker ages out of the business, so planning needs to be done early on.. The lawyer doesn’t age out until he can’t read / speak, which is a few months before he dies.

For societal respect, that would take a big change in media / entertainment, which may never happen. The insertion of a favorable gay / lesbian character into every show did wonders. You never see a John, and rarely see a sex worker depicted favorably. Firefly was a rare exception, and it didn’t get much viewership.

We have all seen higher-end sex workers who had major accomplishments, including putting themselves through expensive colleges they otherwise wouldn’t have been able to afford.

I guess the characters would have been a bit young for this, but it was all unrealistic, anyway, so let’s have fun. Look at all the income and wealth discrepancy on shows such as 90210 and the O.C. The kids would have relationships and spend the night and go down for breakfast. In real life, an atom bomb would go off if an 18 year-old high school guy spent the night at his girlfriend‘s house and went down to the kitche and asked what is for breakfast. So hell, just go ahead and have one if the 18 year-old poorer female characters do escort or sugar baby work to get the money to keep up with her richer friends. She can have the humorous situation where one of her customers is the dad of one of her friends. In real life, L.A. is full of escorts trying to keep up with the wealthy while waiting for film opportunities.

I personally agree with you: one should ideally have an exit strategy before they even start, but some providers might find you suggesting that sex work cannot be a career quite offensive. We also see some girls doing the opposite of “exiting strategy”, they leave their corporate jobs to become full-time companions. You know, sex work is not the only industry V where the prime is relatively short. The same can be said about actors, models, football players and even people with physical jobs, like construction workers or servers. Not a counter-point, just a a couple of thoughts from a thot.

Oh, I don’t dream of respect. Neutrality is just fine

I think you are onto something with the last paragraph — nobody dreams of sex work as a kid so it’s safe to assume that most have plans, ambitions and aspirations outside of their line of work! A lot of people do, actually. LA is its own beast. Their influencers are built different. I have nothing but respect for their hunger 🫡 I wouldn’t last a day.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

Well said! Would you mind elaborating what exactly is the role of a sex worker and what makes it so important?

You know, there’s a lot of good stuff in your comment. I love it.

Fuck it, we yap! Good point about frugality, but what about sex workers who see it as their career? There are actually formulas out there to calculate your rates based on your monthly budget and number of hours you are planning to work on average. It’s in one of Amanda Brook’s books. Good read.

Oh, I fundamentally disagree with you on this one. Working for an agency is like being a private contractor. When you are independent, you are running a business. You didn’t account for the following: maintenance (hair/nails/working out), presentation (photoshoots, candids, outfits, makeup), advertisement (copy writing, blogging, maintaining social media presence), creating online content (blogs, podcasts, videos), admin work (answering emails, texts, screening, booking clients), working space (your incall represents you), interpersonal skills and, finally, the “service” itself. By the way, I don’t like this term. It’s not goods or services, it’s an experience as a whole that is being purchased. Sometimes, people pay for a fantasy more than the actual sex. Anyways, I like to think of it as my business, but I get your point!

Yield, sweet spot, price point? What do you do for work? I need to know.

Counter-argument: most SPs spending lavishly on shoes have an image to maintain, but they also usually have multiple investments and a passive income at the same time. Well, I like to think they do.

Tattoos hate is valid. I dislike tattoos on most people, men especially. I only like my tattoos.

Oh, wait, interesting: you think a lot of people use being a student as some marketing technique? I have news for you, there has been a drastic increase in female students turning towards sex work and I don’t like it at all. It’s indicative of an issue that we, as society, are not addressing properly. Education should not cost as much as it costs right now.

I did get a concussion and my nose was fractured. Yes, it was a setback. Not just financially. This is why savings are important.

The car advice is noted; I’m buying this summer.

I mean, yeah pretty face and tight pussy are essential, but they can only get you so far without the emotional intelligence, at very least IMHO.

Also, I think there are a lot of people who do have appreciation for the companionship itself. Being hot is kinda a prerequisite, the rest is of it (skills, personality, intelligence, character) matter to clients as little as nothing or means to them everything. But yes, “hot” is the most important thing

Thank you for sharing all this with me!

This changes everything.
I was wrong. There are obviously more words needed.

 

[Milana_Miro]

From my POV -

1) Are there any questions you always want to ask providers, but simply can’t do it in person? (Don’t want to be rude or invasive; don’t want to ruin the fun of the moment).
I have been extremely fortunate as I have had wonderful SP's that have had a open and honest conversations on anything I wanted to talked about - why - probably because we approach the session with a open and honest attitude - no ego - no entitlement and the fact that there is a common sense to not discuss things that you know are not to be discussed.

2) What aspect of this industry would you like to learn about? It doesn’t matter if you simply want to be entertained — I know you are curious about something. What is it?
I always found @rocco_s approach to this hobby lifestyle very intriguing.

3) Anything you don’t want to hear anymore?
No - keep the conversation going for everything - the day the conversation dies is the day the devil starts to roam. Only bad things happen the minute the conversation goes dark.

4) Any strong opinions you would like to share?
Yes - make hygiene and kindness your base. Also, should be allowed to call out those you take advantage of a situation (ie. scam artists)

5) Finally, what are the most entertaining/controversial threads on this forum?
Entertaining - without a doubt - the reviews and anything music related. Controversial - rates, race and deposits.

1) I might be autistic, but what topics are taboo usually?

3) Beautiful writing! Sounds like a quote

4) Clients/SPs/Both? Could you elaborate on the second part. What does it mean in the context of SW?

5) I had literally no idea deposits were controversial. Why? There’s not a single SP out there who would risk her reputation over a couple hundred dollars. Am I wrong?

 

[Milana_Miro]

This changes everything.
I was wrong. There is obviously a lot more that needs to be said.

This changes everything.
I was wrong. There are obviously more words needed.

 

[Milana_Miro]

This is a review board, I would think the answer to that is pretty obvious. No reviews = no board.

He phrased as in he would never book somebody with a NRP. He is against it for his reasons which, I’m sure , come before interests of some review board. I still don’t see what’s wrong with NRP so I want to learn more about personal perspectives more than anything.