Threads as Scrapping Sessions for Male Terbites?

[LuxeLadyAmber]

Is it me or are there an inordinate number of threads that turn into a battleground for some of the males here? Although am sure it isn't just a male thing, but it seems that when I read an interesting thread, it often becomes hijacked by some male terbites to insult one another. I realize some may post some controversial or inappropriate responses (maybe in part b/c the anonymity), but am wondering if such a "public" detour is warranted!

Am hoping this post doesn't ignite more of the same

Amber,
xox

 

[HEYHEY]

yup, thats terb!

 

[simon482]

i was a part of that culture but i am trying to kill the troll. i am more interested in real conversation and lolz than pissing people off now. i intend for the last banning i had to be the last banning i get.

 

[TROOPS]

Quite a few anal retentive poster, for whatever the reason they are this way because they are miserable in their life.
If you take notice, without mentioning names, its always the same anal people. They just need to take the pickle out their ass and take a nice big bite. Or, they just need a hug..........................from behind.

 

[Butler1000]

There are a few long-standing feuds that tend to come out pretty easily. I'll admit my no saint in this either. But with approximately 100000 members it is inevitable.
Funny enough though in many ways this board is reasonably monitored compared some other places. Some of the stuff people will type in other places would truly sicken you.

 

[simon482]

There are a few long-standing feuds that tend to come out pretty easily. I'll admit my no saint in this either. But with approximately 100000 members it is inevitable.
Funny enough though in many ways this board is reasonably monitored compared some other places. Some of the stuff people will type in other places would truly sicken you.

you should check out the argue with everyone forum. no mods, no rules, no holding back. i go in there and i am more vicious than terb has ever heard of and say things that would make your skin crawl and i am considered an amateur. i left that place after a couple of weeks.

 

[versitile1]

If I am one of the males you are referring to, can I just say that I am no longer seeking these types of "arguments" with others members. Also, I spoke with that member in another thread and seemed to have "agreed to disagree," as they say. That's not to say I won't respond if insulted, but maybe take a different approach. Whatever the case, if the mods decide to ban me, then I accept that decision. I hope it doesn't come to that, but I'm fully aware of the possibility.

 

[TROOPS]

Just blame the hijackers.........they are the ones looking for a fight. Those that respond wouldn't be fighting otherwise.

 

[Celticman]

Is it me or are there an inordinate number of threads that turn into a battleground for some of the males here? Although am sure it isn't just a male thing, but it seems that when I read an interesting thread, it often becomes hijacked by some male terbites to insult one another. I realize some may post some controversial or inappropriate responses (maybe in part b/c the anonymity), but am wondering if such a "public" detour is warranted!

Am hoping this post doesn't ignite more of the same

Amber,
xox

Perhaps 80% of the problem lies with 7 or 8 members with high post counts who, ironically, do not participate in the hobby. So their effect on the Escort Review Board is in inverse proportion to their meaningful contribution.

In that many women, including paid advertisers, have expressed their discomfort over this; it would be interesting to know if Fred Zed thinks that, on balance, it is good for his (private) business enterprise

 

[Celticman]

Just blame the hijackers.........they are the ones looking for a fight. Those that respond wouldn't be fighting otherwise.

Troops buddy, that is a wonderful closed loop argument!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[simon482]

Perhaps 80% of the problem lies with 7 or 8 members with high post counts who, ironically, do not participate in the hobby. So their effect on the Escort Review Board is in inverse proportion to their meaningful contribution.

In that many women, including paid advertisers, have expressed their discomfort over this; it would be interesting to know if Fred Zed thinks that, on balance, it is good for his (private) business enterprise

some of the most angriest people here are hobby guys. i also fail to see how someone that doesn't have the same hobby as you can't contribute on topics that don't have anything to do with said hobby.

this is a never ending discussion though and probably will never have a real solution. there does seem to be a bit of a superiority complex from those that do over those that don't. i could be wrong though.

 

[Toronto`s Finest]

I think it is the nature of the medium ( annonymity on the net ) that allows people, on social community sites, to feel more free & comfortable to express themselves .... & even stir up some controversy.

 

[Ceiling Cat]

Emotional vampires instigate these scraps and they have hyenas cronies that join in. When these bullies get close to crossing the line they will resort to saying, oh, it was just a joke or relax and have some fun. Some of these hyenas have several names to make it look like they are in a big crowd. They derive some sort of sadistic satisfaction from doing these things. Like the school bully that believes he owns territory and tells people that they can not be here.

It is high school all over again. These bullies were probably bullied by a family member as a child or bullied at school. Now they have anger issues and bully other because they can get away with it. ( to a point - till they get banned )

 

[Flapjack]

i also fail to see how someone that doesn't have the same hobby as you can't contribute on topics that don't have anything to do with said hobby.
there does seem to be a bit of a superiority complex from those that do over those that don't.

I totally agree with this!

(guess that means we're going to have a wicked storm today!:wink

 

[oldjones]

It's obvious that this problem, if such it be, cannot be caused by TERBians who are on the right side of an issue. It can only be the 'fault' of those in the wrong who persist in their error even after it has been laid bare for all to see. That would exclude all of us—certainly myself—who have taken note of this thread, and make for a miniscule class of self-correctors resolving to clean up their acts.

However it isn't simple argument and debate the OP is complaining of, but the incompetent way some uselessly try to participate by way of insult, profanity and slanging, rather than with facts and reasoning. Forums where debate and discussion are essential long ago developed simple rules called etiquette to keep those unevolved folks silent until they had a real contribution to make, and to help more functional contributors keep their temperatures down. The simplest being: Polite language and speaking always to the whole group, not directly to one person. Parliamentary procedure is the most formal version of that basic stuff our mothers tried to teach us about getting along.

In a relatively un-moderated forum like TERB, we just have to ignore the boors and buffons, and there is a setting for that. By the time their then-invisible spew might occasionally surface in someone else's quote, the outhouse intensity they were aiming for will have largely dissipated, and any interesting will-nots of argument that remain can be politely addressed or ignored at leisure.

 

[demien2k5]

In every society, there is the norm of the population, and the exceptions. The norm is largely non-disruptive, and even in vigorous debate really pose little risk to the others in the collective. Then there are the exceptions, for whom they believe there are no rules, no baseline for acceptable conduct, no limit or boundary that can remain un-crossed. These are typically the members of society who pose the greatest risk to others. It's why government, police, and citizen advocacy groups exist - an effort to curb dangerous, aberrant and deviant extremist behavior for the good of the whole. On terb, there are many of these so-called extremists, of every color in the rainbow. Hence the moderation layer of management. Most, relatively speaking, truly are harmless, and even in outlandish conversation can be viewed as humorous, insightful, witty and racy. However there are a couple who are in fact the 'extreme' extremists, and it would be foolish to ignore their behavior given the very real risk they pose, both to small easily influenced minds following and hanging on their every word, and to the ladies who live and work in the industry under already very dangerous conditions. The mods catch most of this stuff and deal with it as is warranted in their view. But, there are instances when even an army of mods may miss dangerously deviant behavior to the detriment of other members. If not calling out that behaviour for fear of spawning controversy, anger, harsh debate and derision becomes the typical response (non-action), then I suspect we'll all wake up one morning and find some horrific event has occurred, the aberrant behavior having gone unchecked and unchallenged. In very society, there are times when individuals need to stand up and address difficult situations and circumstances. Terb is no different. Sure, the fur will fly on occasion, but personally I'd rather speak up once in a while and call someone out if I think it might help even one other member on the board avoid catastrophe. Now, where IS that pickle, I'm hungry and could really go for a good crunch right about now...

 

[Madeline Rhodes]

I'm going to say that I have been here longer then I would care to admit publicly... Be it this incarnation or one of those prior I am by terb standards a bit... Old (Guess I will be one of the only women who is not perpetually 29 eh). Some may disagree with what I am about to say and that is fine but I shall post my observations and perspective anyway.


I have a history of being able to throw down and scrap in the threads with some of our finest "flame warriors", and am glad to avoid it for the most part now. Even if some of those who make me laugh and whom I consider friends do try to tempt me into the foray... I just observe instead of participating now days.

It can be a bit fun though, and a bit addictive to even be involved with the drama. There is a bit of a "rush" when you are truly in the midst of an ongoing battle and type the perfect post which has you going "take that you *^&*$&$($(!". It almost sucks you into it so those who can't let it drop are often to engrossed in their own online persona to really be able to step back once they are seeking the "rush" of those flames.

There are also those who are deemed to be "trolls". They deliberately set out to provoke a response from other members. The levels of enjoyment and glee they find in stirring things up is far beyond what they can achieve in their day to day lives. It is not very kind of me to say that but it is the truth. One needs to seriously take a look at those who are capable of spending 3+ hours on an online forum every day of the week and wonder what their lives are lacking. Especially when they regularly engage in flame wars.

At the end of the day I will tell you what I shared with another woman approximately a year ago, and yet another the year before that:

It truly is a cyclical circumstance. The less time people are out doing other things, and the more they are feeling the financial crunch... The more you see the flames pop up. It is a safer, saner (?), functional outlet for some of the frustrations they are feeling.

When the temperature rises. The financial crunch of tax time is no longer upon us. We've cleared the cobwebs out of our systems and we've allowed ourselves to move into "play" mode the forum becomes less toxic. I would love to say that seasons have a huge part in this but I find that is not always the case. It is more typically mid April when things tend to calm a bit, and people start feeling "frisky and playful" rather than "feisty and pitiful".

Hang in there Amber and if some truly become too much to read... Use the functions of the forum to block the users who are too over the top. You can always re-visit it in a month or two.

Maddie

 

[Alex Baldwin]

To avoid argument lets just say I agree with everyone here........

 

[Mr Deeds]

Quite a few anal retentive poster, for whatever the reason they are this way because they are miserable in their life.
If you take notice, without mentioning names, its always the same anal people. They just need to take the pickle out their ass and take a nice big bite. Or, they just need a hug..........................from behind.

Are you reading this Buthead

 

[red]

Is it me or are there an inordinate number of threads that turn into a battleground for some of the males here? Although am sure it isn't just a male thing, but it seems that when I read an interesting thread, it often becomes hijacked by some male terbites to insult one another. I realize some may post some controversial or inappropriate responses (maybe in part b/c the anonymity), but am wondering if such a "public" detour is warranted!

Am hoping this post doesn't ignite more of the same

Amber,
xox

i hadn't noticed