Sugar Babies: My Experience on Seeking Arrangement

[shack]

Created an SA profile just to browse and have to say that it DOES look interesting. Would I be correct in placing SA equal or slightly beyond casual dating on the commitment scale? (a scale where an appointment with an SP/MPA would be at the lowest end (no commitment) with marriage at the highest end)? The absolute last thing I am looking for is regular commitment.

Shack's advice on approach is very similar to the approach I would take with an SP/MPA about private appointments. Like any relationship - courtesy and mutual respect go a long way. I've had 6 long relationships with MPA/SP's (two still ongoing) and these are relatively low commitment but mutually beneficial arrangements - likely lower on the commitment scale than SA (my assumption, anyway) - so long as you don't get carried away. What I seek are providers who are attractive to me physically (obviously) and where we have some sort of chemistry (both personality and sexual). For me this means they can make me laugh and share a similar sense of humour and have a less mercenary view of the business, oh... and give me boners. There has to be enough of a trust and comfort level to exchange real names, etc. So it's very much like a FWB, but with money exchanged. I've met at their places, my place, hotels, with appointments from a quickie in the back seat of my car (long story) to a few hours to weekend trips. YMMV. I tend to like providers who are natural and do not have the "provider" look (i.e. not an overly enhanced features, "stripper look") - so SA is very interesting in that sense. I saw a lot of good looking women in my quick browse. I do have to say that some of the absolute best hobbying sex I've has been through private arrangements so I tend to gravitate towards that objective, so may have to check SA out.

I think it is quite low on the commitment side in terms of emotional commitment. For the girls, it is definitely better for them if they know you can commit to keep seeing them since they are getting some steady income, but TBH, you can walk away any time you like.

A word of advice: Even though they need financial help, many of the girls do not want to feel that it is strictly transactional. As such stop thinking of them as "providers". I know we are ingrained to think a certain way as long term hobbyists, but this is different. There are no guarantees of sex like with a SP. Try to think that you have to woo them. If they can pick up on that vibe from you, you will be the beneficiary. If you continue to think of them as providers, there is more chance that they will pick up on that and the results may not be as good.

 

[essguy_]

I think it is quite low on the commitment side in terms of emotional commitment. For the girls, it is definitely better for them if they know you can commit to keep seeing them since they are getting some steady income, but TBH, you can walk away any time you like.

A word of advice: Even though they need financial help, many of the girls do not want to feel that it is strictly transactional. As such stop thinking of them as "providers". I know we are ingrained to think a certain way as long term hobbyists, but this is different. There are no guarantees of sex like with a SP. Try to think that you have to woo them. If they can pick up on that vibe from you, you will be the beneficiary. If you continue to think of them as providers, there is more chance that they will pick up on that and the results may not be as good.

Thanks. What I like about my current arrangements are I can go for a period without calling, and then pick up right where we left off. There are no expectations on either side other than a good time when we get together. Even the transactional side gets kind of like an honour system. I’ll always leave money on the table or something at the end but there are no actual terms agreed it’s just kind of an understanding. No clocks either. If this sort of arrangement is possible, I’m all in.

 

[LickingGravity]

Can someone explain who's paying the big bucks? Back before they eliminated "lifestyle expectations," Seeking Arrangements had suggested ranges. "Minimall" was a monthly allowance of up to $1,000.
"Practical" ranged up to $3,000/month; "Moderate" was up to $5,000; "Substantial" up to $10,000; and "High" was above $10,000/month. Are there really guys paying that sort of money? For a while that range wasn't enough and some more mercenary women added another category, "Extravagant." I shudder to think how much money they were looking for. Those lifestyle expectations were helpful in ruling out women with expectations out of my price range. But as I mentioned earlier, SA eliminated them to avoid looking too much like an escort site.

There are plenty of guys on Terb who pay $800 for 2 hours so $5,000 equates to 12.5 hours in a month. But it's more like 6 times a for 3 or 4 hours each visit with some over nights. Mainly its mainly older (over 40) guys making a minimum of $300,000 and a year. So think doctors , lawyers, stock brokers and there are plenty potentials SD's.

When I was married (she died of breast cancer) I used to give my wife more than that for memberships clothes and spending money so its all relative. After she died I knew it would be a long time (if ever) before I wanted to get married again so this seemed to suit me.

It is work finding the right woman because the main is you have to really like them, and they you, to make this really work for more than a few weeks. Between the wackos, ten year old (and 30 pounds less) pictures and just plain misses its not as easy as finding a sp - there are no reviews. I got lucky, finally. I had several "meet and greets" dates before I found someone who could spend serious time with, much less travel with.

 

[Caspertheghost]

I am sorry about your loss.

 

[livestrong2000]

for those of u who have used SA - did you actually pay their membership monthly - from what I remember, that's the only way you can contact potential sugarbabies...?

 

[critical thinker]

Shaolin, the search function on SA allows you to narrow down your search geographically. As a mid-town Toronto guy, I ruled out lots of women in the Markham and Brampton areas because I didn't want to deal with the awful GTA traffic. Lots of really attractive women from those areas, a diligent search should come up with several possibilities.

Licking Gravity, thanks for sharing. I long thought that even a pricey sugar baby would be less expensive than a wife. Are you out in public with her? Going to social occasions? I had hoped to transcend the transactional nature of the relationship but was never really prepared to devote the time and commitment (or to endanger my marriage) sufficiently to do so. I also didn't find the right women, and probably wasn't at the right price point. Glad to hear that it worked for you. Has this been going on for a while? Do you have just the one relationship?

Essguy, I do think it's possible to find a similar arrangement of occasional get-togethers on this site, but it takes some work. And probably some need for dissembling at the beginning, as virtually all women on the site (except the pros masquerading as SBs) claim to be looking for a long term monthly arrangement. And since I'm on that topic, what gives with the escorts on SA? It seems like an incredibly inefficient way to find clients. Lots of tire-kickers, very few clients.

I had a pay-per-meet arrangement at $250/session with a slim, intelligent young woman. Conversation was easy, and the value was really there. We'd get together for two hours, spend the first 30 minutes or so chatting, and then retire to her bedroom. She could host! Like many young women starting off in this city, she had a roommate - but an understanding one who was prepared to vacate the apartment for a few hours. I liked the emotional connection and the ability to get to know her in a more leisurely manner, without the clock ticking. But my problem was probably that the escorting world has spoiled me. The sex was good but not great, her skills were not as accomplished as the better escorts I had seen. Similarly on the looks side - she was nice looking but not really hot. And after a few session, I craved variety. I ended things on nice terms.

 

[critical thinker]

Livestrong, the fees on SA are expensive. I paid for 3 months, it was a substantial discount from the monthly rate. Careful, it can get very addictive, checking the site 16 sites a day, seeing who's "ping"ed you, what women have responded to your messages, who new has shown up.

 

[Prehistoric]

My 5 cents.

I was actively using SA for like 2 month.
Arranged 4 pay-per-meet dates with different girl. Obviously, sex on the first date or no date at all. 50% of the girls had no objections to PPM. Yet, just one was got pissed-off and I got banned for a week from the SA. Beware!
Costs from $250-$500 per date, either 3-4 hours or overnight.
Was surprised to find out how many beautiful girls do not know how to fuck.

My conclusion: Not worth it.
1. Too much headache dealing with non-pro. Sudden schedule changes, wrong addresses, miscommunications - just way-way too many issues.
2. The sex is far away from what you would get form an escort. They can't beat a skilled pro... or my girlfriend.
3. Some girls are interesting to talk to, but that's all they have.

So, if you want just sex - hire a pro. It will be a bit more expensive, than SA, but it will be good sex.
If you want to mentally connect with a girl, have dinner and meaningful conversation before sex - find a pro you like and who likes you, become a regular, invite her for a dinner&fuck. If she really likes you - the cost will be the same as SA.

 

[Spacealien2]

Prehistoric:

I guess I can just ask them out for a dinner date and fuck a pro after. Would that be better?

 

[danmand]

Some years ago, I made a deal with an SP, who disliked the waste of time and being driven around in cars by the agency. I contracted for 10 visits per month at the regular agency price, and we would usually go for dinner afterwards. The arrangement was good, except that we became a bit too close, and that created problems in the end.

 

[Spacealien2]

Some years ago, I made a deal with an SP, who disliked the waste of time and being driven around in cars by the agency. I contracted for 10 visits per month at the regular agency price, and we would usually go for dinner afterwards. The arrangement was good, except that we became a bit too close, and that created problems in the end.

My strategy for this is to have a few favorites and rotate!

 

[shack]

Yet, just one was got pissed-off and I got banned for a week from the SA. Beware!

What did she tell them that got you banned? Was the ban justified?

 

[Prehistoric]

Prehistoric:

I guess I can just ask them out for a dinner date and fuck a pro after. Would that be better?

That might work, but you will be paying twice. Some SB on SA state, that they are after non-sexual arrangement.
But even in this situation I would prefer a pro. Most of pros I have met were smart and pleasure to talk to. Even that Korean girl from ASB with whom I had to use Google Translator.

 

[Prehistoric]

What did she tell them that got you banned? Was the ban justified?

I found the original e-mail from SA. Well, apparently the ban was for 24 hours, but because I was in the middle of 3 negotiations with girls it felt like it was week. ))

Warning: You have committed a violation of the SeekingArrangement Terms of Service. Your account was flagged for the following reason:
Using escort terminology
Because this is your first violation for the same reason, your account has been suspended for 24 hours. Further violations could result in a permanent ban of your account.
This 24-hour suspension will begin after you read, electronically sign, and agree to our Terms of Service again. (Your account will be frozen indefinitely until you do so.) Please log in now to resolve the matter.

I am pretty sure I did not use any real escort terminology. One thing which might come close - using term "pay-per-meet". Nothing else. And I didn't get any explanations from the SA.

 

[essguy_]

I found the original e-mail from SA. Well, apparently the ban was for 24 hours, but because I was in the middle of 3 negotiations with girls it felt like it was week. ))



I am pretty sure I did not use any real escort terminology. One thing which might come close - using term "pay-per-meet". Nothing else. And I didn't get any explanations from the SA.

What is considered "escort terminology"? And did she report you saying this, or was it in an email exchange? Instead of "Pay per meet" would it be better to call it "lunch money" LOL?

It sounds like there is a new code to learn here. With my private arrangements, as I mention above - it is sometimes almost like more of an honour system or understanding hardly ever discussed except for me sometimes asking "is this enough?" if it was an especially long get together - but it is definitely "pay per meet" and way below a per hour fee for eg: a typical outcall. Sometimes, I'll jokingly call call it an "allowance".

 

[Prehistoric]

What is considered "escort terminology"? And did she report you saying this, or was it in an email exchange?

It was on the website. No explanation was given to me. Later I checked the website, anyone can file complaint against anyone. In the list of reasons for complaint one can choose "Using escort terminology" - no need to provide the actual quote. So, basically a girl got pissed-off and filed a complaint against me. Obviously, nothing like BBJ, CIM, Greek etc was used in the conversation - these ARE escort terminology.

 

[Powpow]

I found a mix of the normal escort world, regular dating and with trying to be a sugar daddy changed my entire view on how I spend my time and money chasing skirts. The last say, 5 years, I've been the most happiest and satisfied with my life when it comes to women.

Now that I'm attached, I'm mainly concentrating on the escort world for finding partners to play with my SO and I, or for quick solo meets when the craving hits, or for anything specific and fetishy.

However, as a single man, I found mixing professionals, dating using Tinder/Bumble and seeking arrangements was the optimal combination. I was never ever horny for more than a day or two and I never had a boring weekend or when I had time off from work.
Not being horny and not being bored out of my mind/lonely allowed me to think very clearly about my decisions in life. I found that I made time for my own hobbies, I stayed latter at work when I needed to (left early when I didn't need to), found time to exercise, see extended family, etc. I believed this happened because I was able to think with my head and not with my dick.

To scratch the itch when I was craving pure visual and carnal delights, I'd call up a professional so i can make requests on clothing/shoes/lingerie/roleplaying and more. To have a predictable "I'm going to get laid this weekend and maybe have a dining companion at that new restaurant that won't bore me to tears", I found an arrangement or two was awesome. And any free time that was available, I'd flirt and chase women on Tinder/Bumble. I found that I was quicker to end shitty dates with civilians, quicker to end shitty relationships with civilians, and I spent way less time trying to figure out how to attract a woman and more time thinking about what I wanted to do.

I will add though... I don't see how an arrangement can work if you're married and you want to stay married unless you get into a contract like relationship with a professional who is going to help you and her set boundaries. I found civilian women seeking arrangements to be all over the map with many wanting an actual relationship with a successful guy rather than a no-strings attached fling with perks.

 

[Johnny Utah]

Wow. I still don’t know what to think. I can’t tell if this is for me.

I don’t need the absolute hottest or pro like sex if I can get a bit of the GFE without commitment. That’s what I’d like and I wonder if it’s worth the work. I’m single and don’t live in the city.

I can host but I’d have to weed out the crazies...

Thanks so much for the discussion guys. I’ve read this thread a few times.

 

[Ping]

Thanks to the OP who posted this.

 

[eternalbachelor]

It was on the website. No explanation was given to me. Later I checked the website, anyone can file complaint against anyone. In the list of reasons for complaint one can choose "Using escort terminology" - no need to provide the actual quote. So, basically a girl got pissed-off and filed a complaint against me. Obviously, nothing like BBJ, CIM, Greek etc was used in the conversation - these ARE escort terminology.

PPM according to them is escort terminology so you have to discuss it off site.

On a semi-related note, I have noticed that lately PPM prices on SA seem to have gone up. Girls also tell me that lately there is more young decent looking guys offering $400-500 per meet and more. Have other ppl noticed that?