Sugar Babies: My Experience on Seeking Arrangement

[critical thinker]

Somewhat frustrated at the difficulty of establishing a real connection with escorts, I decided to give Seeking Arrangements a try. Being a Sugar Daddy seemed to offer the chance to form a deeper, ongoing connection with a hot young woman. The girl would be an enthusiastic amateur rather than a pro, I reasoned. I'd get to spend more time with her, at a lower total cost. And the whole process of sorting through the available women would be interesting.

I just got off the site after a wild roller-coaster six-month ride. Met some terrific young women. Slept with several of them, although the sex wasn't as good as with escorts. Got ripped off. Ultimately the experience was too expensive and frustrating - you have to kiss a great many frogs until you find your princess.

Seeking Arrangements is by far the largest sugar babies site, although there are a lot of others. Terb promotes a different site. I decided to go with the biggest and was glad that I did. The selection of hot young women was truly outstanding.

To keep things brief, here are some of the lessons that I learned:

1. Don't treat the women like escorts. Most of the girls I met emphasized that they were not escorts, not available for pay-to-play. They were looking for a real connection and a monthly allowance. The site's unwritten rule said that women would not sleep with you at the first date. That first date was usually a meet-and-greet over coffee or drinks to determine that both parties looked like their pictures and were not axe murderers.

2. Don't cheap out. My budget, an allowance of $1,000/month for 4 visits of 90 minutes to two hours each, ruled me out from the hotter women who were looking for substantially more. I was still able to score but it took a lot more effort. I had to approach 10 women to hear back from two. The site used to allow potential sugar daddies and babies to include their "lifestyle expectations" in their profiles. But those expectations have been removed by the site, probably because it looked too much like escorting. Most of the hotter women were looking for the equivalent of $500/visit.

3. Protect yourself, and don't think with your small head. Use a texting app and safeguard your real identity. There are a fair number of flakes and scam artists on the site. I had my (real) cellphone number reverse-engineered by one tech-savvy woman who threatened to expose me to my family unless I paid her off. Another woman seemed too good to be true: model-quality beauty, smart, warm, had her own apartment so she could host, didn't want much money, only an occasional shopping trip. I couldn't believe that she was interested in me. She played me perfectly, took me for almost a grand and then disappeared.

More later, if there's interest.

 

[bluebro69]

Interest here, thank you!

 

[hp3ac581]

This is fascinating. Would be very interested in learning more. There's a middle world between escorting and the bar scene that I think a lot of people would like to explore.

 

[TFZL1]

Rather than lounge, isnt there a separate section for sugar reviews?

 

[essguy_]

As an alternative, you could explore a similar arrangement with an MPA where there is some chemistry between you. Similar arrangements, meeting off site, little or no clock watching and mutual benefits. I’ve found that MPA’s seem more open about this than SP’s. I still see some even after they have retired from the MPA scene.

 

[jsanchez]

Somewhat frustrated at the difficulty of establishing a real connection with escorts, I decided to give Seeking Arrangements a try. Being a Sugar Daddy seemed to offer the chance to form a deeper, ongoing connection with a hot young woman.
I just got off the site after a wild roller-coaster six-month ride...

Interesting topic, thanks for confirming my doubts about SA.

 

[itd131]

Interesting. Thanks for the info

 

[NiceToMeetYou]

Very interesting and would love to hear more... thank you.

 

[xmontrealer]

As an alternative, you could explore a similar arrangement with an MPA where there is some chemistry between you. Similar arrangements, meeting off site, little or no clock watching and mutual benefits. I’ve found that MPA’s seem more open about this than SP’s. I still see some even after they have retired from the MPA scene.

I've done that with three mpa's after they retired. The deal was I would pay them the same total fee that I used to pay at the spa for our usual length session, that I wouldn't ask for extras that we didn't do at the spa, and that the length of our private session might vary, but wouldn't be much more than what we used to do. They hosted me in their condos.

For one of them, the vibe was too weird at her home, and neither of us was comfortable, so I didn't repeat.

For the other two, one I saw for about 4 months before I got bored. The other one is ongoing and somehow we keep finding ways to make it exciting every time.

 

[Spacealien2]

I've been considering using a sugar daddy site but in the end, I decided not to do it.

The bottom line is this, if emotions are involved, I can't allow the girl to date anyone else. To be honest, I'm not comfortable with women on sugar daddy sites, there is always someone richer there. Women there are always financially motivated.

Financially, it's just cheaper and less risky to see escorts often enough so you don't have to jerk off. Also, if you place value on looks, it always declines, people get uglier with time. With escorts you just find a younger one to fuck when your regular gets too old. A long term relationship is always a bad investment.

 

[shack]

I have been exclusively using SA for over 2 years.

Granted, there is some legwork involved, but no agencies (middlemen who need to be paid), no drivers (calling or being late), no clock watching.

Learn how to weed out the pros and you have sincere, hot young students who need some help financially and are thrilled to be treated as a desired woman, shown some good times, being sexually satisfied and even getting some coin for it.

Just arranged a 2 dates per week for a monthly of $500/month with a 20 year old hottie. I also have a 19 year old who will spend a weekend for $250. These are girls you will jerk off to via video.

Last time I saw a pro was over 2 years ago There are some needy girls and I am having the best sex of my life.

 

[critical thinker]

Gents, thanks for your feedback. I hope more of you share your experiences. The MPA route is an interesting one which I have never pursued. TFZL, I don't believe that there is another location better suited to this thread. The Sugar Babies section on the Terb website is simply a come-on for another SB service.

Some specific comments:

Dr. Stiff, I wouldn't want my piece to be misconstrued. I am actually glad that I went on SA. Despite some horrid experiences - and being stood up 4 times for "meet and greets" - I had more positive than negative experiences. Two of the things that I found most frustrating about seeing escorts was the time constraint and the acting ("Oh, you're such a terrific lover, I've never come like that before!") Things felt much more real with the girls from SA. You really got to know the women! At the initial coffee meeting you end up having much more revealing and interesting conversations, the whole process cuts to the chase quickly. I loved getting to meet women from all over the world, understanding what their lives are like. It was better than foreign travel - and you get to sleep with a bunch of them! And I was astounded at the wide variety and sheer number of available desirable women.

Shack, I envy your success in finding hotties prepared to enter arrangements at sums that I consider incredibly low. In fact several of the women I approached were offended when I proposed my $250/meet arrangement. You might have other things going for you that I lacked - youth, good looks. I led mostly with my wallet and my intellect but that wasn't enough to convince several young women that they should sleep with someone older than their father.

You're right about the absence of middlemen. My experience with very needy girls in desperate financial straits was not positive. Often it was difficult to sustain much of a conversation after doing the deed! After trying a few 19-year-olds I learned that I preferred women who had lived a little and accumulated some life experience.

I think it's worthwhile taking some effort to craft a detailed profile with accurate pictures and some indication about your expectations. This could save you a lot of time if you have specific desires - only slim or athletic-build women; no-one above a certain age; only university students or graduates; or particular kinks. Not all the girls bother to read them very carefully, but that for me was a good indication of whether I'd be able to have an intelligent conversation afterwards. My experience generally was that the pictures that the SBs posted were pretty accurate; indeed, I was pleasantly surprised on more than one occasion when the girl turned out to be better looking than her pictures.

Spacealien, it's true that it's probably cheaper to see escorts. Don't forget that most young women in Toronto do not live alone and are not able to host. If you, for whatever reason, cannot bring them to your place, then you are looking at getting a hotel room or an AirBnb for not less than $80/meeting. That does add to the cost. It depends what you're looking for. If it's simply sex, then the skills of escorts are superior. You generally know what range of services to expect, and can read reviews. Looking for a sugar baby is much more uncharted. I was surprised at the number of young women who did not kiss or kissed without tongue, who did not take feedback or suggestions, and whose skills in the sack were not well developed. On the other hand, I did find one incredibly hot and kinky young woman with escort-calibre skills and a wide-open menu. I'm still seeing her privately.

 

[shack]

Gents, thanks for your feedback. I hope more of you share your experiences. The MPA route is an interesting one which I have never pursued. TFZL, I don't believe that there is another location better suited to this thread. The Sugar Babies section on the Terb website is simply a come-on for another SB service.

Some specific comments:

Shack, I envy your success in finding hotties prepared to enter arrangements at sums that I consider incredibly low. In fact several of the women I approached were offended when I proposed my $250/meet arrangement. You might have other things going for you that I lacked - youth, good looks. I led mostly with my wallet and my intellect but that wasn't enough to convince several young women that they should sleep with someone older than their father.

You're right about the absence of middlemen. My experience with very needy girls in desperate financial straits was not positive. Often it was difficult to sustain much of a conversation after doing the deed! After trying a few 19-year-olds I learned that I preferred women who had lived a little and accumulated some life experience.

I am a chubby senior. LOL

But I am very polite (not like I am on TERB) and witty and charming (at least I like to think so).

A couple of hints regarding negotiating price:

Let them make the first offer. If it is much too high, then just politely say so without saying what you are willing to pay. Even if they then ask you again, don't do it since you will probably not get an agreement and they will call you cheap and other insults. If you are within approx. $100, then you could probably negotiate.

The trick is how to get them to make the opening bid. Here is my approach when they ask what my budget is or how much I am willing to pay. I tell them that "This is not the way our society works. When you go to get your hair and nails done, do they ask you how much you are willing to pay? No. They tell you what their price is and you decide if want to pay that. Same thing with a lawyer. How much are you willing to pay me per hour is not how it is done. They tell you their rate. In light of that, please tell me how much you are looking for." I'd say that 60-70% then give me a number.

Actually, I have very many that meet me without having negotiated a price. After chatting a bit online discussing just generalities, I say, "If you like, let's meet for dinner and see if we have some face to face chemistry and if so we can discuss further details at that time." If they insist on knowing a price I say, "How can I know what I am willing to pay without having met you and if we are a match?" If they still insist I say goodbye.

I have actually had very many come to my place for the first date without having discussed money at all and we are fucking like bunnies within 15 minutes. Money gets discussed at the end of the date. BUT, you have to be polite and charming and non-aggressive, non-creepy. They have to feel safe. I promise them a quiet safe environment, food, drink, ambiance. They love candles and incense in a dim light setting.

As to how to negotiate in person, I may take the initiative (only at the end of a date) and ask what they are looking for or if they want you to go first I tell them "Recently I have been asked for (in your case) $250." It is not necessarily your budget, it is what other girls have been happy with. Then see what happens. We almost always reach an agreement...especially if you've got them horned up a bit. LOL

Different approaches work for different girls so you have to be flexible in how you go about it. But try at all costs not to open the bidding.

I may have given away too many trade secrets. Enjoy.

 

[LickingGravity]

I have been exclusively using SA for over 2 years.

Granted, there is some legwork involved, but no agencies (middlemen who need to be paid), no drivers (calling or being late), no clock watching.

Learn how to weed out the pros and you have sincere, hot young students who need some help financially and are thrilled to be treated as a desired woman, shown some good times, being sexually satisfied and even getting some coin for it.

Just arranged a 2 dates per week for a monthly of $500/month with a 20 year old hottie. I also have a 19 year old who will spend a weekend for $250. These are girls you will jerk off to via video.

Last time I saw a pro was over 2 years ago There are some needy girls and I am having the best sex of my life.

My experience with SA is good as well. I would it's at least 1/3 are pros though which I avoid now because I want a different experience, less commercial. I have recognized the faces of at least two very popular MPAs (saw one just for fun) if you are into that. I decided to go with someone younger than me, but no twenty-something, and we have been living together for over a year.

 

[Spacealien2]

You gents are getting me interested in SA. I might actually dive in.

Is it somewhere that I can find a genuine relationship though?

Also, what kind of profile pictures should use? (Please don't tell me dick pics)

Edit: Well, I checked SA out. Every girl on there seems to like traveling. I don't. At. All. There goes the dream!

 

[essguy_]

Created an SA profile just to browse and have to say that it DOES look interesting. Would I be correct in placing SA equal or slightly beyond casual dating on the commitment scale? (a scale where an appointment with an SP/MPA would be at the lowest end (no commitment) with marriage at the highest end)? The absolute last thing I am looking for is regular commitment.

Shack's advice on approach is very similar to the approach I would take with an SP/MPA about private appointments. Like any relationship - courtesy and mutual respect go a long way. I've had 6 long relationships with MPA/SP's (two still ongoing) and these are relatively low commitment but mutually beneficial arrangements - likely lower on the commitment scale than SA (my assumption, anyway) - so long as you don't get carried away. What I seek are providers who are attractive to me physically (obviously) and where we have some sort of chemistry (both personality and sexual). For me this means they can make me laugh and share a similar sense of humour and have a less mercenary view of the business, oh... and give me boners. There has to be enough of a trust and comfort level to exchange real names, etc. So it's very much like a FWB, but with money exchanged. I've met at their places, my place, hotels, with appointments from a quickie in the back seat of my car (long story) to a few hours to weekend trips. YMMV. I tend to like providers who are natural and do not have the "provider" look (i.e. not an overly enhanced features, "stripper look") - so SA is very interesting in that sense. I saw a lot of good looking women in my quick browse. I do have to say that some of the absolute best hobbying sex I've has been through private arrangements so I tend to gravitate towards that objective, so may have to check SA out.

 

[ottawafitguy]

I spent about six months on there when I was single and had some fun, but the demands of most of the girls on there (and I say girls because I'm 43 and the average girl I dated was 20-25) financially were way too high in my opinion. When you looked at it on a per transaction basis it was somewhat cheaper, but the commitment to give them basically money for the faith that they would follow through with the relationship side of things made it way too risky for me. If I made more money I'd probably do it and not even think about it.

I also had multiple attempts (and I say attempts because I always did my research and never fell for scams) to "rinse" me which means get the money and provide nothing for it. One girl who turned out to be a stripper/escort almost got me into her house where there was no doubt in my mind I would have been robbed and/or beaten up. I bought multiple dinners, had a couple of rounds of sex with some incredibly hot young women that blew my mind, but in the end it just wasn't worth it for all the hassle.

I'd rather pay $300 once in a while for a high quality escort than take the time to deal with games and scams.

 

[Johnny Utah]

Thanks for the post!!

I have been interested in this for a few months because it sounds like it would be for me, but the scams and the weeding out I would not be looking forward to.

Also, I don't live in the big city, but Markham. I am sure this would make it harder as well.

Can anybody share anymore tips regarding setting up a proper profile to avoid scammers and time wasters but to actually get what you want? Like say a few girls on the go monthly?

 

[critical thinker]

Shack, you are the man! I'm really impressed with your negotiating style, and the incredible results that you achieved. I'd like you in my corner at my next real estate transaction or auto purchase...

Spacealien, I don't think that SA is the place to look for a real relationship. It's pretty clear that women are on this site to make money and be supported. Most go to great lengths to pretend that it's not escorting - but it really is an exchange of sex for money. Just with a few more rules and niceties along the way. As to profile pictures, I posted several, including a few that clearly showed my face. Not too much point in posting old or fake pictures, the girl will meet you and see that you're very different. I think honesty is the best policy. Absolutely no dick pics! And remember that there is a little bit of romance at the beginning as you're trying to make a good impression, if you're too transactional the women will run away. And don't be discouraged by the number of women who put on a love of travelling. Most of them might dream of a "pretty lady" scenario with a rich businessman who will take them on exotic trips, but realize that reality is very different. Like essguy says, you're looking for a woman who turns you on, with whom you can share a few laughs and conduct some conversation. Otherwise, you're better off

Essguy, I very much agree with your point that courtesy and mutual respect go a long way. It's amazing the number of women I met who told me stories about guys sending dick pics, immediately asking to see their private pictures without so much as a "hi, how are you" message, acting like complete jerks. Your approach to what attracts you to your longer term relationships with MPAs is what appealed to me with SA. I think that sex is better when there is some mutual knowledge, history, caring for each other. And I think that you genuinely have to like meeting new people to go through with SA. There were several women I met whose looks didn't appeal. But with the pressure off, I was able to have a really nice conversation, treat them with respect, and learn something from each encounter. Aside from the few women who were deadly dull boring, and I spent a few brutally long hours trying to be polite before cutting things off. Hence I always met first for coffee, to control expenses and reduce my commitment. I'm relieved that I wasn't stuck at dinner with some of those girls.

Ottawafitguy, thanks for sharing. I too had a number of experiences which got me nervous, I just walked away. And I would never agree to give a girl a monthly allowance until we had been seeing each other for several meetings. Even the girls looking for long-term arrangements were almost always amenable to starting off with a pay-per-meet before moving over to an allowance. There are unfortunately a fair number of scam artists on the site. But my experience was that most of the women were genuine. And I quickly learned to avoid the younger ones, those looking for a "daddy to come spoil me like the princess that I am," and those who consider shopping an important hobby. You have to avoid a situation of being treated like a walking ATM. But if you're just looking for sex rather the complications of an almost-relationship, then seeing escorts is way easier and probably (unless you're a master negotiator like Shack) more cost-effective.

My experience was that there was a hierarchy of desirable girls on SA. Tall slim college-educated blondes, particularly those who looked like models, seemed at the top of the chart and had the highest expectations. Moving down the scale were recent immigrants and mixed race woman. I found real bargains among young black women, particularly those with a dark complexion. They were not as much in demand, there were lots of them. Being a student of markets, I always like to go where there is more value. I met some terrific young black women on the site.

I met with a very interesting young woman who had been on the site for a long time. She used to be able to get $800/meet, and really saw herself as a courtesan. She complained that the site has gone downhill as lots of young women have joined up and have lowered the going rates. I don't know what it was like in the past, but I think what she's saying is true. If you look hard, you should be able to find a really hot young woman at a price point that appeals to you.

Can someone explain who's paying the big bucks? Back before they eliminated "lifestyle expectations," Seeking Arrangements had suggested ranges. "Minimall" was a monthly allowance of up to $1,000.
"Practical" ranged up to $3,000/month; "Moderate" was up to $5,000; "Substantial" up to $10,000; and "High" was above $10,000/month. Are there really guys paying that sort of money? For a while that range wasn't enough and some more mercenary women added another category, "Extravagant." I shudder to think how much money they were looking for. Those lifestyle expectations were helpful in ruling out women with expectations out of my price range. But as I mentioned earlier, SA eliminated them to avoid looking too much like an escort site.

 

[shack]

I spent about six months on there when I was single and had some fun, but the demands of most of the girls on there (and I say girls because I'm 43 and the average girl I dated was 20-25) financially were way too high in my opinion. When you looked at it on a per transaction basis it was somewhat cheaper, but the commitment to give them basically money for the faith that they would follow through with the relationship side of things made it way too risky for me. If I made more money I'd probably do it and not even think about it.

I also had multiple attempts (and I say attempts because I always did my research and never fell for scams) to "rinse" me which means get the money and provide nothing for it. One girl who turned out to be a stripper/escort almost got me into her house where there was no doubt in my mind I would have been robbed and/or beaten up. I bought multiple dinners, had a couple of rounds of sex with some incredibly hot young women that blew my mind, but in the end it just wasn't worth it for all the hassle.

I'd rather pay $300 once in a while for a high quality escort than take the time to deal with games and scams.

I never, ever commit to a monthly until we have had at least a few dates and see if there is compatibility personality wise, sexually and in terms of reliability. I can't see the logic in doing a monthly unless and until I am sure that she satisfies those requirements so that I know that it will be ongoing. Until then, it is pay per date.