Stopped Seeing Escorts

[Curious36]

lol. we have one girl just like this in our office. she's late 30s, completely out of shape, nice person, but always complaining about how life is unfair and how every guy she likes is taken. if she's not telling me about it she's talking to her single friends who are much more attractive than her but have the same issues. she showed me her online dating profile and how she uses a 5 year old picture. lol. the other ladies showed me their online profiles. omfg, it's like a laundry list of requirements. lol. i don't know i am too nice sometimes, i just sit there and listen to their bullshit but try to divert the conversation by talking about Xmen, godzilla, or something else they have no interest in.

Welcome to my old life. That's why i killed my online profile. I realized that their unrealistic expectations were making me question my self worth.

Really, I find it only gets worse. Once they pass a certain age, you run into a mindset of 'well, I've held out this long for Mr. Perfect, I won't "settle" now'. fast forward a couple years and teh bitterness is setting in big time and the expectations are getting even crazier. Now its like they want in guy in their 40s who is successful, charming, blah blah blah, but also can't have kids or even be divorced.

I guess different experiences can only explain. For me I found that they went with the great looking guys with "flair" while younger. "Trophy men" if you will. After guy had screwed around on them umpteen times and basically treated them like dirt they were looking for more "substance" or guy verbally/emotionally abused them and now they are looking for a "sane" dude. Tonnes of ex control freaks as well....(that surprised me) guys who were so controlling the lady couldnt breathe and/or psycho when she ditched him....stalking etc.
Maybe it was the medium.....my sumations are based on on-line dating. I often got "are you sure you are a normal as you sound?" Or something to that effect. Also the stories I heard from the ladies was eye opening to say the least. So ya....most I hooked up with were looking for "normal".....I am sure they were looking for more but that was the underlying qualification as they were sick of the bs/liars/freaks.

 

[DB123]

LOL! I do that too but I have an open door policy where anyone that needs me can knock and come in. Have my monitor nicely facing the other way.

I have learned though befriending everyone helps out big time though when you need to mobilize support. Being nice and reasonable is the optimal life strategy.

Absolutely, but with the door closed they only come in for a specific reason, not to chat about whatever bullshit they watched on tv last night. And I have time to watch back to excel or fantasy baseball

 

[Sophia Sinclair]

i guess different experiences can only explain. For me i found that they went with the great looking guys with "flair" while younger. "trophy men" if you will. After guy had screwed around on them umpteen times and basically treated them like dirt they were looking for more "substance" or guy verbally/emotionally abused them and now they are looking for a "sane" dude. Tonnes of ex control freaks as well....(that surprised me) guys who were so controlling the lady couldnt breathe and/or psycho when she ditched him....stalking etc.
Maybe it was the medium.....my sumations are based on on-line dating. I often got "are you sure you are a normal as you sound?" or something to that effect. Also the stories i heard from the ladies was eye opening to say the least. So ya....most i hooked up with were looking for "normal".....i am sure they were looking for more but that was the underlying qualification as they were sick of the bs/liars/freaks.

^^this^^

 

[Titalian]

Truthfully, there is nothing wrong with either a man or woman explaining to a current, potential partner that they have been hurt in the past and need to take things slow. It let's the other party know where they stand and gives them a chance to determine if they want to put in some extra effort and patience or not. The real problem is the lack of communication in the beginning until whamo, the issues start surfacing in a very negative way.

I think some men take their fallout from their past very maturely and go on and hardly speak about what happened other than
to accept their situation and sometimes there's a silver lining involved. But also lets not forget the other side of the coin here,
where by, some women I was seeing, voiced there disgust in a past relationship. they had, that didn't pan out.
It makes it equally as hard for the man as it does for the woman.

 

[Laird]

My criteria aren't unreasonable - slender to slightly chubby, under 27, and doesn't have a completely flat ass. Probably 95% of the girls at my local community college would fit the bill. However, none of them will put out for average guys, so I'm forced to pay.

I never understood how men could be content with their fat/old girlfriends and wives. I guess if you don't live in an area where young women congregate, you can just pretend they don't exist...? *shrugs*

IMO More guys need to separate their libidos from this dysfunctional dating culture.

 

[Serpent]

My criteria aren't unreasonable - slender to slightly chubby, under 27, and doesn't have a completely flat ass. Probably 95% of the girls at my local community college would fit the bill. However, none of them will put out for average guys, so I'm forced to pay.

I never understood how men could be content with their fat/old girlfriends and wives. I guess if you don't live in an area where young women congregate, you can just pretend they don't exist...? *shrugs*

IMO More guys need to separate their libidos from this dysfunctional dating culture.

Well, no, not at all unreasonable. Toronto dating is like looking for that $100k+ job hunt. It's not easy and while at the new job, you can be confident of success if you know you have the skills, it's not a given with these women. Every chick who looks halfway decent (and maybe not even that) has the right to reject you even if you are significantly outlier for your age group. They can be completely unremarkable but you have to be Dr. Brad Pitt, MD. And after chatting with my friend from Ottawa, apparently this is not the case in small towns but very peculiar to the GTA. So the stalemate continues: both men and women are unhappily single and SPs and ice cream makers profit.

As to your comment about how men could be content with fat/old wives: i work with guys who will stare at young women at work but they know that all these chicks don't compare to the good life they have with their wives. If I marry a GOOD woman and we have a GOOD life, would I throw that away for some entitled 20-something, knowing what I know now about such women? Heck no!

 

[IM469]

I can tell you there are men like that. Except with most men it is the physical aspects. Why do you think women feel the need to be a size 0 with DD breasts, blonde hair and weight a 105lbs?

First to set the record straight I am not a shallow man I am perfectly happy with 'C' cups. A huge problem for men is that many women only feel the need to be attractive when they single. If you love your man - groom yourself. The saddest sight for a guy is a women continuously tossing the dresses for moo-moos without a thought of trying to curb the food intake. I deny myself fattening foods that I love and only gained one belt size since my twenties. When we go out - even shopping - I try to not to look like some white trailer park trash typically found at Wal-mart. I welcome the same effort from my SO. We all age but there is no excuse for not looking your best for your partner.

Spouses who suggest appearances aren't important - love is becoming his personal live in maid - are fooling themselves. Many men are driven to terb simply because the sex partner, the girl who you loved to take to out really hasn't given the slightest indication that you are worth the effort put in when you were single. Yes, appearance isn't everything but it is an indication of falling interest. I direct my comments to both sides of the fence. Some men have become complete fat slobs and it is hard to gain sympathy about them complaining about their SO's..

 

[thirdcup]

Let me quote myself

Married people will invariably encounter moral hazard- the idea that you don't have to live with the consequences of your decisions. People stop trying, or worse- behave recklessly if they don't have to face consequences (read Too Big To Fail). How many people tell themselves s/he still won't leave me even if I do spend like a drunken sailor/gain fifty+ pounds/...etc.

A certain amount slacking off within an established relationship should be expected and accepted, but where do you draw the line? And to be fair, who among the men are still putting in the same amount of effort as they did in the beginning? Be honest.

 

[Serpent]

First to set the record straight I am not a shallow man I am perfectly happy with 'C' cups. A huge problem for men is that many women only feel the need to be attractive when they single. If you love your man - groom yourself. The saddest sight for a guy is a women continuously tossing the dresses for moo-moos without a thought of trying to curb the food intake. I deny myself fattening foods that I love and only gained one belt size since my twenties. When we go out - even shopping - I try to not to look like some white trailer park trash typically found at Wal-mart. I welcome the same effort from my SO. We all age but there is no excuse for not looking your best for your partner.

Spouses who suggest appearances aren't important - love is becoming his personal live in maid - are fooling themselves. Many men are driven to terb simply because the sex partner, the girl who you loved to take to out really hasn't given the slightest indication that you are worth the effort put in when you were single. Yes, appearance isn't everything but it is an indication of falling interest. I direct my comments to both sides of the fence. Some men have become complete fat slobs and it is hard to gain sympathy about them complaining about their SO's..

Getting fat isn't the cardinal sin. My friends@work (who don't see escorts or anything) ruefully admit the sex isn't as good, or that they are TAKEN FOR GRANTED - and that truly is the WORST for a man. But still, things aren't as bad (or they are super patient compared to the Terb population sample) and they like their married lives in comparison to all the temptations out there.

And yeah - we are not all shallow men here looking for a Victoria Secret model. Log into OkCupid and there's good looking women with accounts for years on end, well into their 30s......looking for the impossible. That's when i realized: it was them and not me. I'm much happier now.

 

[pablice]

Getting fat isn't the cardinal sin. My friends@work (who don't see escorts or anything) ruefully admit the sex isn't as good, or that they are TAKEN FOR GRANTED - and that truly is the WORST for a man. But still, things aren't as bad (or they are super patient compared to the Terb population sample) and they like their married lives in comparison to all the temptations out there. And yeah - we are not all shallow men here looking for a Victoria Secret model. Log into OkCupid and there's good looking women with accounts for years on end, well into their 30s......looking for the impossible. That's when i realized: it was them and not me. I'm much happier now.

No, some just do it for the spiritual healing even though their stuff at home is ok an can be worked on.

 

[Titalian]

Let me quote myself

Married people will invariably encounter moral hazard- the idea that you don't have to live with the consequences of your decisions. People stop trying, or worse- behave recklessly if they don't have to face consequences (read Too Big To Fail). How many people tell themselves s/he still won't leave me even if I do spend like a drunken sailor/gain fifty+ pounds/...etc.

A certain amount slacking off within an established relationship should be expected and accepted, but where do you draw the line? And to be fair, who among the men are still putting in the same amount of effort as they did in the beginning? Be honest.


Let us not forget that environment and our social lives as married couples has changed drastically over a very short period of time.
It wasn't to long ago that Women for the most part stayed home with the children and men went out to earn, for their families.
I believe the way we live today, has taken a toll, on our marriages and relationships. Also Social media and communication has gone ramped which also,
maybe opens the door to looking elsewhere for a meaningful relationship, when things are falling apart at home.
What I'm saying is that it is much easier today to stray from a marriage or a so. Where as, in the past,
I believe there was more communication between partners before any implosion of the relationship took place. JMT

 

[legmann]

Toronto dating is like looking for that $100k+ job hunt. It's not easy and while at the new job, you can be confident of success if you know you have the skills, it's not a given with these women. Every chick who looks halfway decent (and maybe not even that) has the right to reject you even if you are significantly outlier for your age group. They can be completely unremarkable but you have to be Dr. Brad Pitt, MD.

There is some definite truth to the above, but at the same time, I notice an increasing number of attractive/stylish women with men you would not call conventionally 'handsome' or even fit.

I don't know how to reconcile the two, but I have observed both scenarios as above.

 

[Jasmina]

Just because you have a certain preference for younger smaller girls does not mean every man has to have the same preference. There is absolutely no need for you to hate on us older larger Women, or the men who love us and find us sexy as fuck.

My criteria aren't unreasonable - slender to slightly chubby, under 27, and doesn't have a completely flat ass. Probably 95% of the girls at my local community college would fit the bill. However, none of them will put out for average guys, so I'm forced to pay.

I never understood how men could be content with their fat/old girlfriends and wives. I guess if you don't live in an area where young women congregate, you can just pretend they don't exist...? *shrugs*

IMO More guys need to separate their libidos from this dysfunctional dating culture.

 

[Titalian]

I never understood how men could be content with their fat/old girlfriends and wives. I guess if you don't live in an area where young women congregate, you can just pretend they don't exist...? *shrugs*

IMO More guys need to separate their libidos from this dysfunctional dating culture.

 

[Serpent]

There is some definite truth to the above, but at the same time, I notice an increasing number of attractive/stylish women with men you would not call conventionally 'handsome' or even fit.

I don't know how to reconcile the two, but I have observed both scenarios as above.

In Toronto, you can get a cute chick and a 100k+ job if you have the right network. Obviously, some underlying fundamentals need to be in place but if you are an outsider with no network and you're even above average, good luck. You can bang your head against the wall for the irrationality of why you can't get a break but that's Toronto.

It took me a long time to figure out the nature of people here. Risk aversion and staying close to what you know is a supremely Canadian trait after all.

 

[Titalian]

In Toronto, you can get a cute chick and a 100k+ job if you have the right network. Obviously, some underlying fundamentals need to be in place but if you are an outsider with no network and you're even above average, good luck. You can bang your head against the wall for the irrationality of why you can't get a break but that's Toronto.

It took me a long time to figure out the nature of people here. Risk aversion and staying close to what you know is a supremely Canadian trait after all.

May I ask where you are originally from? I found toronto very welcoming when I got here, I love it here.

There are a few sports leagues you can join up on and suggest you give this a try. Worst case scenario you make a few friends and get in shape.

Feel free to pm me instead if you'd like. I can share with you exactly how I built up my social network here.

First off, are you both Canadian born?? I know I have never asked this of you Void. So I'm not sure.

 

[Jasmina]

I laughed so hard I cried.

 

[Titalian]

I laughed so hard I cried.

Your welcome Jasmina!!

 

[Titalian]

Obviously but west coaster originally.

I thought so. I had a feeling that you were. Not sure about Serpent though, he hasn't responded?? but judging by his statement.

"It took me a long time to figure out the nature of people here. Risk aversion and staying close to what you know is a supremely Canadian trait after all"

He Sounds MiddleEastern, but I'm omly judging this from his statement and his handle.

 

[Titalian]

I'm different than some of you older married/divorced guys who see this as an escape from your reality.

I'm single and I do this only for physical release or if I'm sometime really lonely....any human company helps.

But I do not see this as a viable lifestyle. Quantity of pussy doesn't matter to me, I'm not a fuckbot even though when I workout, I have a high sex drive.

But then again, when I'm 50 and hopefully happily married, things might be different. Right now, I crave that closeness and high of a relationship with a caring woman that I do not have.

What a juvenile statement, generalising on older men, Its no wonder your still single.