Speed Dating

[centurygirl]

Anyone tried speed dating ?

I have been thinking of trying it out I am not having any luck finding a man, and I really would like to see myself in a relationship in the new year.

Just wondering if anyone has tried speed dating, and how do you find otu about it how did it go.

 

[babaontherun]

Should you try it let me know how it goes? I've been wanting to go for sometime now!!!!

 

[centurygirl]

Well I have a track record of finding the wrong men, I took a serious vacation away from the dating world, and just focus in my work. but I have noticed I ccan't really just be in my work all the time.

but I also learned what things I will not put up in a relationship, and i have also learned what i want in a relationship, but I dont want tog o my old ways of fining men I did before.

So I am trying soemthing new for the new year.

 

[W3bster]

Should you try it let me know how it goes? I've been wanting to go for sometime now!!!!

I would like to know as well. Checked out a few events online and it's kind of peaked my interest that it seems either women's tickets are sold out and/or they're trying to give more incentives for men to attend.

 

[centurygirl]

ok I am goign to take the plung Iam going to try 25dates.com in the new year. They seem to be more detailed on their website and events and youtube clips. and news press. I am going to try them first and see how it goes.

 

[a 1 player]

I have been thinking of trying it out I am not having any luck finding a man, and I really would like to see myself in a relationship in the new year.

The same actions breed the same results. If you want change, change what you are looking for and the qualities you desire, not necessarily the delivery system.

 

[cute-bald]

I TOTALLY agree with A1-player.........

It is not how or were you find & decide who to date. Your screening process...... what you look for in a person & what you determin as a deal breaker makes all the difference. BTW: speed dating , because of the method, is flawed. You have no time to know anything really about a person..... just the front they put on. It will eliminate those that are not players. Players can do VERY well since they can put on a big front. With speed dating the only thing that your decision can be based on is the physical .......& the front. Probably the very traits that you went for in past relationships that ended up with WRONG guys.

 

[W3bster]

I can't believe you guys are being extremely rude, mean, and inconsiderate by suggesting a woman is and should be responsible and accountable for her choices.

Centurygirl, what was your "old way" of finding men?

 

[xix]

Job Interview

I know guy and hang with him who did the speed dating.
He met his wife in one of those, but after he interviewed 6-7 girls there. Which is normal.
He eliminated the one's that were gold diggers or looking for entitlement.
Entitlement means some gut who is going to pay for everything for them.
He said there weren't any hot woman there. You can guess why.

To this day he talks about in positive tone but he says you have to know what you want so you can eliminated the riff raff from the reals.

He did date a few them on the side after the [job[ speed date interview and settle with one. Still happy after 8 years with one kid.

To me Speed Dating is like a job interview, you have to have a list or know what you want and don't want that way you avoid history and bullshit and also be true to your self.

 

[capncrunch]

I've not tried speed dating, but I think it's a pretty decent idea. After all, it's just a forum for people to meet & mingle. Nobody's going to decide, "This is the dude/girl I wanna marry!" right off the bat (well, nobody who's normal will think that). But they may decide, "This person is interesting. Let's get to know each other further" and then take it from there.

As far as finding the "wrong" man or woman, that's pretty normal. So many guys look for the blonde/blue-eyed hottie (or whatever) only to find out that she's a gold-digger or sexually repressed, and so many women are attracted to the whole "bad boy" thing only to get treated like dirt in the relationship, then wonder in astonishment why they can't end up with a good man.

Love comes in many, many forms. Maybe, just maybe, the 110 lb hottie or the rough-and-tumble "bad boy" just isn't a good match. And maybe the short, somewhat pudgy woman who works at Starbucks, or the geeky guy in glasses with the pocket protector would fit perfectly. But we - and I count myself in this group - get so caught up in what we think we should be attracted to that we discard a whole range of potential mates.

It's a lesson I'm still learning.

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

Speed dating, I think, is just a way of branching out your search a little bit. Nothing at all wrong with that.

 

[RTRD]

Total...

The same actions breed the same results. If you want change, change what you are looking for and the qualities you desire, not necessarily the delivery system.

...co sign

To answer the question posed, yes, I have tried speed dating and found it productive and fun...would do so again and will probably in short order...

 

[centurygirl]

I can't believe you guys are being extremely rude, mean, and inconsiderate by suggesting a woman is and should be responsible and accountable for her choices.

Centurygirl, what was your "old way" of finding men?

My old ways were basically meeting men in wrong places, high school, bars, strip clubs. I have a pretty better idea of what I want and don't want, so I am looking to try something new.

 

[Questor]

I know guy and hang with him who did the speed dating.
He met his wife in one of those, but after he interviewed 6-7 girls there. Which is normal.
He eliminated the one's that were gold diggers or looking for entitlement.
Entitlement means some gut who is going to pay for everything for them.
He said there weren't any hot woman there. You can guess why.

To me Speed Dating is like a job interview, you have to have a list or know what you want and don't want that way you avoid history and bullshit and also be true to your self.

I think xix has the right idea. I tried speed dating once a few years ago. I think it is a good way to bring people together who are looking to meet others. The face-to-face nature gives it an advantage over internet dating. You can check out what a person looks like. You can tell so much about a person from clothes, hairstyle, use of makeup, etc. You can get a feel for any chemistry that may be there.

I would recommend going with a list of prepared questions. Be direct and ask. You have a very short time to get info. Are you looking for a Catholic, or someone non-religious? If you are a movie buff, ask them who is their favourite actor. Their answer will tell you a lot about their taste in that area. Do you live in Mississauga? Better find out if they live in Pickering, unless you like driving across town. Everyone will have their own questions that are important to them, but the key is to know what they are for you, and ask.

Make notes during the rotation. You'll never keep it straight if you don't. The event I went to was a 12 person intro. Just jot the person's name down, maybe one or two key things about them, maybe give them a rating A, B, C or D. Or a Y or N.

The same actions breed the same results. If you want change, change what you are looking for and the qualities you desire, not necessarily the delivery system.

Exactly. Sort of. If you were picking the wrong guys, you will pick the wrong guys through speed dating too, unless you change your criteria for picking. So you need to figure out what your criteria are, and then design your questions so you get the relevant information.

Good luck centurygirl. Let us know how it turns out.

 

[squash500]

Make notes during the rotation. You'll never keep it straight if you don't. The event I went to was a 12 person intro. Just jot the person's name down, maybe one or two key things about them, maybe give them a rating A, B, C or D. Or a Y or N.

Excellent point . I went to a speed dating event a couple of years ago and everyone had notebooks---lol. IMHO, SD is the one venue where men have the "edge". It seems that all these SD events are always lacking men. Especially men in the 40+ age range.

Good luck Century girl!

 

[RTRD]

Actually...

Excellent point . I went to a speed dating event a couple of years ago and everyone had notebooks---lol. IMHO, SD is the one venue where men have the "edge". It seems that all these SD events are always lacking men. Especially men in the 40+ age range.

...not only is this very true, but per my experience AND what a dating expert told me (Susan Kates, founder of www.dinnerworks.ca ), once you get over age 30, women out number men for EVERY date venue / channel save for online. She said it has to do with the fundamental "nature" of men versus women...men are both (comparatively) "lazy" and are of course visual...so online seems to be the easiest thing to do...chicks come right into your living room, you get to check them out, and all you have to do to contact them is hit a few keys. Women, by comparison, value the "connection" a lot more...they think there is much more value to getting to know someone on some level before actually agreeing to go out with them.

Once I signed up for both "Dinnerworks" and a speed dating organization, I started to get free invites (no fee) every week, just because they never seem to have enough men in my demographic (40+, lives in the city). AND...the advantage of these venues is that you KNOW the women are there to meet men. They might not have the hots for you in particular, but they certainly are open to the idea of meeting SOMEONE...so much so they paid to have a shot at it...an assumption you can't make about women in bars or anywhere else.

And...contrary to what many might think...the women who attend such events are perfectly normal and attractive. And many of them are quite successful...the "too busy to waste time dating online" type. It is just that they have fallen into the same rut many women do...men of comparable age and level of success and accomplishment tend to focus on women 10 - 15 years their junior.

Again, I found speed dating to be very fun and productive...at least for me, as a guy.

 

[Questor]

...not only is this very true, but per my experience AND what a dating expert told me (Susan Kates, founder of www.dinnerworks.ca ), once you get over age 30, women out number men for EVERY date venue / channel save for online.

Not true! Women outnumber men for EVERY date venue/channel save for online AND sex for money. I believe men outnumber women in this very important venue as well.

 

[Captain Fantastic]

Excellent point . I went to a speed dating event a couple of years ago and everyone had notebooks---lol. IMHO, SD is the one venue where men have the "edge". It seems that all these SD events are always lacking men. Especially men in the 40+ age range.

Further to this point: If you are a decent looking, semi-successful man who can carry a conversation, you can often go to these events for free - particularly if you talk to the organizers and let them get to know you. There is a severe lack of men willing to admit they need help finding a date or willing to pay for dating services (yet they're willing to pay for escorts... LOL!)

I've been a repeat "performer" (chosen by the organizers, haven't had to pay) at both speed dating and dinner dating events because I fall into their desired male demographics and am able to fulfill most of their "checklist" of traits.

Fun stuff. But honestly, many women (not all, but the majority) who go to those events are too desperate for my liking - particularly to find a husband. I don't like or want overly needy chicks and am somewhat creeped out by someone who is thinking of marriage before a first real date has even happened. That being said, the majority are relatively attractive, successful and normal. I've met a few really cool girls this way as well - you just have to be patient and know what you want going in. But I'm simply not into marriage - especially to a relative stranger - at this point.

If I were an asshole (well, that kind of asshole) I'm sure that I could string along the majority of the women at these events to "get what I want" so to speak. I'm just not into games or leading people on.

Edit: Apparently MLAMe beat me to the punch - I just stumbled across the thread...

 

[RTRD]

Lol....

Not true! Women outnumber men for EVERY date venue/channel save for online AND sex for money. I believe men outnumber women in this very important venue as well.

...ok...you got me.

 

[squash500]

...not only is this very true, but per my experience AND what a dating expert told me (Susan Kates, founder of www.dinnerworks.ca ), once you get over age 30, women out number men for EVERY date venue / channel save for online. She said it has to do with the fundamental "nature" of men versus women...men are both (comparatively) "lazy" and are of course visual...so online seems to be the easiest thing to do...chicks come right into your living room, you get to check them out, and all you have to do to contact them is hit a few keys. Women, by comparison, value the "connection" a lot more...they think there is much more value to getting to know someone on some level before actually agreeing to go out with them.

Once I signed up for both "Dinnerworks" and a speed dating organization, I started to get free invites (no fee0 every week, just because they never seem to have enough men in my demographic (40+, lives int he city). AND...the advantage of these venues is that you KNOW the women are there to meet men. They might not have the hots for you in particular, but they certainly are open tot he idea of meeting SOMEONE...so much so they paid to have a shot at it...an assumption you can't make about women in bars or anywhere else.

And...contrary to what many might think...the women who attend such events are perfectly normal and attractive. And many of them are quite successful...the "too busy to waste time dating online" type. It is just that they have fallen into the same rut many women do...men of comparable age and level of success and accomplishment tend to focus on women 10 - 15 years their junior.

Again, I found speed dating to be very fun and productive...at least for me, as a guy.

MLAM, you're 100% correct . If you're a man in your 40's who has a decent job and no social issues etc then you can have a field day meeting these women. These women are desperate to meet a "man."

I'm going to embarass myself again---lol. I actually had a meeting with Ms. Kates but was rejected from joining Dinnerworks. The reasons were my AS, lack of a good enough job, and poor social skills---lol. At least she was honest with me.

Just to repeat myself. For any Terbites who have good jobs and present well, the chances to meet women through either Speed dating or organizations such as Dinnerworks are totally in your favor. Especially if you are 40+ in age.

Women tend to feel much safer going to these events. If they hate the men, they can always chat with the other women. the women look at organizations such as Dinnerworks as a good business networking opportunity as well. Just my opinion.

 

[RTRD]

This...

But honestly, many women (not all, but the majority) who go to those events are too desperate for my liking - particularly to find a husband.

...I will have to agree with to some degree. At least half the women I went out with from speed dating were "marriage minded"...which was frustrating because at this point in life I am anything but.

The other half though were fairly even minded though...all though I would say all of them were looking for a relationship. That only makes sense though...I mean they are PAYING to meet men for heaven sake.