My boyfriend and I have had issues like the ones you've mentioned about consistency. It's hard to not let work requirements bleed into your personal time, that is something I have struggled with. It can be hard to not let emails and phones and review boards distract you while you are supposed to be off for the day and enjoying your personal time and focusing on the people you choose to spend it with. I started to turn my off my phone on my days off so that I am not distracted or taking away from the private time I share with people in the real relationships I have.
I try to keep my schedule as consistent as possible so at least the days I work are always the same, the hours may vary depending on how the calls come in but at least he knows which days are mine and which days I work so we can plan accordingly. You both have to have an understanding about what you individually plan for in your own lives for the short-term and long-term so you can decide if you are comfortable with the changes she wants to make at work and whatever else and visa versa.
Remember that she's choosing to spend her personal time with you, and to be the person that she really is while she is with you. Whether she calls you or you call her the important thing is that you both want and enjoy being together for personal pleasure. You will be able to be more spontaneous when you are more used to her schedule and habits, and hopefully she can help you do that by discussing with you what she wants to do in regards to work changes and keeping her schedule consistent.
The really frustrating thing is when she keeps changing her plan of what she's going to do, Increase the number of clients a day, travel more that type of thing. Just when I'm getting used to things she throws me a curve. This IS hard.
