If you look at a lot of the biology and anthoplogy science mentioned before, a lot of it boils down to the fact that humans were never meant to be monogomous in the first place. We originally lived in small tribes and when the child is just a few years old he leaves the care of his mother and is cared for by the village. The man then goes off and is able to couple up with other women. Theyve studied modern day tribes in the jungle - and they can be thousands of miles from each other but all tribes seem to naturally work this way.
In those tribes its our genes and instincts that run the whole thing. And male and female genes basically are wired differently - women lose their sex drive after baby is born so they have time and energy to nurture the baby, but men are naturally wired to keep on keeping on. They instinctively know its time to move on. Ever hear how woman are super horny during pregnancy? And they dont know why... Its their genes doing everything to keep the man around long enough to keep the woman safe throughout the pregnancy.
In all these tribes long term marriage is totally unatural. So for a modern man and woman to be married they are going against their natures. And its way harder for a man.
A woman is wired to stay at home and be a nurturer - so after baby is born its simple to follow these instincts. But a man is wired to spread his seed - so for him to stay home and be committed to one person takes unbelievable self control.
They say that for a woman to give 100% of herself to a marriage is actually easy since she is wired that way. But for a man to give even 80 or 90% is a massive amount of commitment and energy to fight his nature. A lot of women dont realise what a man has to give up to be in a committed relationship. We dont get enough credit for that.
There's an interesting history behind marriage too and why it came into being. Back in the middle ages in the UK and many other European countries the tradition was to do whats known as a handfasting, where man and woman were tied together in a ceremony. That handfasting was an early form of marriage - but it was only supposed to last a year - if they wanted to stay together after the year that was fine and if they wanted to split that was fine too. Everyone was pretty chill about it. In that year a woman would get pregnant and she would be assisted by her family - aunts, parents, sisters, and the father and brothers would feed her and look after her safety etc.
Then the romans and catholics took over and it all turned to crap (as it often does when the church gets involved) - Long story short the commoners continued their way of life and the lords of the land (with the backing of the church) would steal all the women to live in the castle in harems for the kings and knights and noblemen. (Braveheart and Robin Hood all based on true stories). It got to a point where the common folk started to riot and rebel against the church, state and nobel men so they could get some action too (only the hags were left for the common folk) so at the lass second to avoid carnage, mass riots and kings being beheaded it was decreed that one man should only have one woman - and the modern idea of being married to one woman for life was born. Some kings didnt like this - and one in particular started his own church so he could divorce his wives. You might have heard of the story.
Preetty much all of British history is based on who is shagging who and who can sow his wild oats more than everyone else (note back in the day oats was considered an athrodisiac hence the phrase).
So there you have it - humans were never meant to be monogomous, or married for life. Our modern society has messed everything up for both sexes and we spend the rest of our lives trying to sort out this fucked up situation.
Yeah communication works - but only to the degree that both partners will do it. And there has to be some leeway - if the woman isnt having sex with her man then she has to expect that its an unnatural situation for the man to be in.... and as one scientist once said "nature will always find a way."
Edit: Fuck that was a long post. But shit its true. I dare anyone to argue with me and the (female) scientists that wrote the books but I missed a bit out.... Its the thing that keeps modern marriages working... so anyway interlude over.... and...
From the bible: Shenanigans 3:12 "And God said this "one man one woman malarky" is an unholy abomination and so the lord said s let their be asian massage parlours and so there was and he was not done yet when he said and let there be women of the night who men shall worship for a certain sum and man was happy and woman at home was blessed with a husband who shared his happiness by going out into the night and visiting the superstore and coming home hence with bags full of goodness... and so everyone was happy and he said let their be light in the brothel at the end of the street and man walked towards the light and paid his house fee and went in for just a massage and came out happy as was and life was grand..."
And man was happy. And we hail all our praises on the woman at home and the woman at the end of the street.
Men love women. All women (well most not the psychos) Were just not allowed to worship them all at the same time. One at a time and as discreet as you can manage.
Praise to the sex professional for she saves the modern marriage.
In those tribes its our genes and instincts that run the whole thing. And male and female genes basically are wired differently - women lose their sex drive after baby is born so they have time and energy to nurture the baby, but men are naturally wired to keep on keeping on. They instinctively know its time to move on. Ever hear how woman are super horny during pregnancy? And they dont know why... Its their genes doing everything to keep the man around long enough to keep the woman safe throughout the pregnancy.
In all these tribes long term marriage is totally unatural. So for a modern man and woman to be married they are going against their natures. And its way harder for a man.
A woman is wired to stay at home and be a nurturer - so after baby is born its simple to follow these instincts. But a man is wired to spread his seed - so for him to stay home and be committed to one person takes unbelievable self control.
They say that for a woman to give 100% of herself to a marriage is actually easy since she is wired that way. But for a man to give even 80 or 90% is a massive amount of commitment and energy to fight his nature. A lot of women dont realise what a man has to give up to be in a committed relationship. We dont get enough credit for that.
There's an interesting history behind marriage too and why it came into being. Back in the middle ages in the UK and many other European countries the tradition was to do whats known as a handfasting, where man and woman were tied together in a ceremony. That handfasting was an early form of marriage - but it was only supposed to last a year - if they wanted to stay together after the year that was fine and if they wanted to split that was fine too. Everyone was pretty chill about it. In that year a woman would get pregnant and she would be assisted by her family - aunts, parents, sisters, and the father and brothers would feed her and look after her safety etc.
Then the romans and catholics took over and it all turned to crap (as it often does when the church gets involved) - Long story short the commoners continued their way of life and the lords of the land (with the backing of the church) would steal all the women to live in the castle in harems for the kings and knights and noblemen. (Braveheart and Robin Hood all based on true stories). It got to a point where the common folk started to riot and rebel against the church, state and nobel men so they could get some action too (only the hags were left for the common folk) so at the lass second to avoid carnage, mass riots and kings being beheaded it was decreed that one man should only have one woman - and the modern idea of being married to one woman for life was born. Some kings didnt like this - and one in particular started his own church so he could divorce his wives. You might have heard of the story.
Preetty much all of British history is based on who is shagging who and who can sow his wild oats more than everyone else (note back in the day oats was considered an athrodisiac hence the phrase).
So there you have it - humans were never meant to be monogomous, or married for life. Our modern society has messed everything up for both sexes and we spend the rest of our lives trying to sort out this fucked up situation.
Yeah communication works - but only to the degree that both partners will do it. And there has to be some leeway - if the woman isnt having sex with her man then she has to expect that its an unnatural situation for the man to be in.... and as one scientist once said "nature will always find a way."
Edit: Fuck that was a long post. But shit its true. I dare anyone to argue with me and the (female) scientists that wrote the books but I missed a bit out.... Its the thing that keeps modern marriages working... so anyway interlude over.... and...
From the bible: Shenanigans 3:12 "And God said this "one man one woman malarky" is an unholy abomination and so the lord said s let their be asian massage parlours and so there was and he was not done yet when he said and let there be women of the night who men shall worship for a certain sum and man was happy and woman at home was blessed with a husband who shared his happiness by going out into the night and visiting the superstore and coming home hence with bags full of goodness... and so everyone was happy and he said let their be light in the brothel at the end of the street and man walked towards the light and paid his house fee and went in for just a massage and came out happy as was and life was grand..."
And man was happy. And we hail all our praises on the woman at home and the woman at the end of the street.
Men love women. All women (well most not the psychos) Were just not allowed to worship them all at the same time. One at a time and as discreet as you can manage.
Praise to the sex professional for she saves the modern marriage.
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