Relationship Question

[MakeItSoNumber1]

OK guys I need your help really badly. I mean really badly.

So OK, I have a super duper high IQ coupled with my mothers sense for people and my fathers ability to see people moving in slow motion and be 10 steps ahead of them and plan things that take like a year to develop.

I am of course talking about intrigue and CIA like stuff you have between people. Some people call it gossip, some call it politics or social maneuvering but I call it all out warfare.

I am responsible and judicious in my use of my profanely high abilities but I have a dilemma.

I have fallen in love and she was fighting against me, trying to get the upper hand. It is not important what she did, only that it was a power struggle using people, information and such. She is very skilled and has impressed me but I had the upper hand but I wanted her to tell me the truth and play with me not against me. I kind of pushed her over the edge doing this.

I fell in love another time and I think I did the same thing again.

Anyways, after she was totally rocked this way by me she has now started up again (after about 4 months healing time for both of us) and I know she loves me and I love her but I still feel weird about playing against each other like this. Right now I am talking to a girl who I know is a double agent, she has spent the last 3 months building my confidence in her and she thinks I trust her completely. Now I am at the same decision point, do I just play the game to win this time rather than to try and not play the game?

Is there anyone who does not have an adversarial relationship with their SO? Do you eventually get trust and such or is it always this battle?

I kind of feel that I can never be truly intimate with her or trust her.

Am I asking too much?

 

[y2kmark]

What kind of help?

OK guys I need your help really badly. I mean really badly.

So OK, I have a super duper high IQ coupled with my mothers sense for people and my fathers ability to see people moving in slow motion and be 10 steps ahead of them and plan things that take like a year to develop.

I am of course talking about intrigue and CIA like stuff you have between people. Some people call it gossip, some call it politics or social maneuvering but I call it all out warfare.

I am responsible and judicious in my use of my profanely high abilities but I have a dilemma.

I have fallen in love and she was fighting against me, trying to get the upper hand. It is not important what she did, only that it was a power struggle using people, information and such. She is very skilled and has impressed me but I had the upper hand but I wanted her to tell me the truth and play with me not against me. I kind of pushed her over the edge doing this.

I fell in love another time and I think I did the same thing again.

Anyways, after she was totally rocked this way by me she has now started up again (after about 4 months healing time for both of us) and I know she loves me and I love her but I still feel weird about playing against each other like this. Right now I am talking to a girl who I know is a double agent, she has spent the last 3 months building my confidence in her and she thinks I trust her completely. Now I am at the same decision point, do I just play the game to win this time rather than to try and not play the game?

Is there anyone who does not have an adversarial relationship with their SO? Do you eventually get trust and such or is it always this battle?

I kind of feel that I can never be truly intimate with her or trust her.

Am I asking too much?

With all your superior mental abilities and tremendous ability to deal with other people women should all eat out of your hand (or so one would think, anyway.) Is your dick real small or something??

 

[james t kirk]

I think you should date her.

Nothing like constant drama in one's life to allow you to think about anything else.

 

[papasmerf]

well, since you think more of yourself than anyone else you should work that out first.

 

[lawyerman]

You need to be more specific.

Please don't come on this board or anywhere for that matter claiming to be better than anyone else. You never said those exact words but you didn't have to.

I think that it's great to think highly of yourself but keep that to yourself. I am highly intelligent as well (in certain subjects) but I do not claim what you claim you can do. I don't come on to the board claiming that I know everything. When it comes to life, no one knows that much at all.

If you want to go on playing games, then you are wasting your time unless you like that sort of thing.

I think that many of us on the board don't like playing games and do not have the time for it so in turn they are the intelligent ones.

 

[Sexy_Dave]

Flip a coin.

 

[RTRD]

You know...

OK guys I need help really badly. I mean really badly.

...I am inclined to agree. Get some before you enter into a relationship with anyone.

Further evidence:

https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=1967858#post1967858

Clearly you also too immature at this point for an adult relationship. Indeed, you sound like you might have Asperger`s disease, save for your language skills are pretty poor.

In summary though, you shouldn`t blight any woman with your companionship until you deal with your issues.

 

[Stoo]

I am responsible and judicious in my use of my profanely high abilities but I have a dilemma.

Perhaps your overwhelming modesty is preventing you from enoying life to it's fullest.

You remind me of a friend of mine... very bright, but can't maintain a relationship. He's almost 50 and still lives with his Mommy. Having known a few of his girlfriends, they found him interesting at first, and then dull, and then self-centred and boring.

Relationships aren't competitions. They aren't a way to "out-do" your partner.

Try relaxing and keeping your super-human intelligence to yourself...

 

[Master Muse]

Correlation

You may be very intelligent per your IQ but you ain't too smart. Most previous posters called you on that point right away. What should you do?

Your problem: you're super smart, figure it out yourself and leave us commoners be.

 

[needinit]

My answers are in Blue

You said:

Is there anyone who does not have an adversarial relationship with their SO? Yes...be honest without being a prick (Probably hard for you to do)

Do you eventually get trust and such or is it always this battle? No relationship if it's always a battle...move on

I kind of feel that I can never be truly intimate with her or trust her. The fuck off and leave her alone and let her have a relationship with a proper man, rtaher than some egotistical prick

Am I asking too much? Yes

 

[RTRD]

This...

Get some counseling. You have at least 3 major psychological issues to deal with. When seeking counseling take this post with you as it will give your therapist a good insight into your psyche.

...is what I'm trying to tell a brother....

 

[LancsLad]

The first post was the wind up, long as it was.


Now I'm waiting to see if he can deliver the pitch.




.

 

[red]

leave the world of Real Life or whatever virtual world you are in and come back to reality.

 

[HG Hunter]

Games vs reality.

So it looks like our friend MakeItSoNumber1 is a bit of a control freak. Nothing wrong with that as long as you recognize that fact and turn the control on yourself and apply those tendencies in the appropriate areas of your life.
You also have to decide which aspects of your life are reality and which aspects can be games. Remember your games may be reality for the other players so don't go crazy with that.
I work in an environment where I have alot of influence over alot of people. I choose to use influence over control as I find I get a much better response from the other "players". It's not a game for most of these people so out of respect I don't treat is as such. Influence is achieved through co-operation.
In a relationship, I remove the control factor to an even higher degree. The happiness of the relationship depends greatly on both parties being honest and not playing games. In other words, check your ego at the door and welcome the fact that your significant other has an opinion. She may not have an IQ to challenge yours, but she must have some redeeming qualities otherwise you wouldn't have been attracted to her in the first place. Don't try to control those qualities, help her to bring them out and she can also be a huge contributor to the relationship and by extension to your happiness.
Many years ago, I went out with a young lady who followed me around like a little puppy dog and would do any and everything I wanted. At first I thought I was in dreamland, but that wore awfully thin in a hurry. No challenge, no spark, no input from her on anything, just like a shadow of me all the time. If that's what you're after, go for it. Not me thanks.
Now I'm married to a strong woman who has a ton of great qualities. If I spent all my time trying to control her, she wouldn't be nearly as attractive to me. We usually agree on most things, but when we don't, we talk things through and a;most always both come out winners. Sometimes I compromise and sometimes she does. Guess what, that's how a successful relationship works.

Good luck.

HG Hunter

 

[gramage]

OK guys I

I am of course talking about intrigue and CIA like stuff you have between people. Some people call it gossip, some call it politics or social maneuvering but I call it all out warfare.

Dude I know the song says love is a battlefield but that doesn't your girlfriend is the enemy.

As a fellow damaged (yet less arrogant/confident) guy let me tell you getting locked into your own world like this will not letyou build the relationship you want. Deal with this before you deal with someone else. That doesn't mean therapy although it's a good idea (good advice it'll be a cold day in hell before I take) but it does mean getting over yourself and recognize when your doing this stuff so you can keep it under control.

 

[Questor]

Get some counseling. You have at least 3 major psychological issues to deal with. When seeking counseling take this post with you as it will give your therapist a good insight into your psyche.

Good advice. And make sure you tell your therapist that you posted this on an escort review board. No need to work out such power dynamics when you rent the lady by the hour.

 

[papasmerf]

The first post was the wind up, long as it was.


Now I'm waiting to see if he can deliver the pitch.




.

Come on Laddie..........You said your were not catching anymore.

 

[LancsLad]

Come on Laddie..........You said your were not catching anymore.

That WAS our secret.


I thought you yanks had been around this Board long enough to know what a Wind-Up was? Kind of like " Taking the piss out of someone", but then again that might easily be misunderstood as well.


I had better not start to try and explain prat and twat or else i'll really be in trouble with the mods.



.

 

[demien2k5]

I think dude should just slam a beer, smoke a doobie, tear one off, and for fuck sake, bring the intensity level down some from DEFCON 4...life and relationships really AREN'T that complicated or difficult unless you make them so,,,,

 

[STASH]

OK guys I need your help
Am I asking too much?

for someone so smart ...your pretty stupid

Another flippin moron