Public perception of escorting?

[Questor]

Yes we are all very enlightened and supportive of a woman's right to do what she wants with her body. And of a man's right to pay for it.

But there is no way in hell I would ever discuss that with a woman. Or frankly, even with a guy. But a woman who makes a comment like that is simply exactly like 99.8 percent of North Americans who are not involved in the sex-for-pay industry (statistic not scientifically validated ). She is simply a normal Canadian woman who is (at least publically) repulsed by the overt presentation of this industry in a newspaper. You would actually consider arguing in favour of prostitution?? Publically? You will be labelled a pervert and shunned. Even by your strip-club going male co-workers. But the guys on TERB will think you a hero. Good luck.

I partly agree with you CG. You say you would be labelled a pervert and shunned by co-workers. If one were to publicly state his support of prostitution, he would indeed be shunned in many typical work environments.

But I haven't heard anyone say they would do that. And I certainly wouldn't do it. In some situations, I would feel free to say I see nothing wrong with prostitution, but I would be very careful about where I said that. The situation I described was with a woman I met through work, and without going into details, that work environment no longer exists. I have very little to lose. Our social and work circles do not overlap at all. She can label me a pervert all she wants with her family, and her friends, and her coworkers. But none of them know who I am, nor will they ever meet me.

I don't see anyone here on terb calling me a hero. I didn't make the post for that reason. I just thought it was an interesting topic after reflecting about what had happened to me.

 

[squash500]

ok...I never said that a woman's body and sexuality was the only means of production that women control. Moreover, many of the women I have met by virtue of being a hobbyist are in fact have, and are actively pursuing other avenues toward financial success and self actualization. Among them are women in business, health care, government, research, education and law. That said, sexwork is simply a means to an end. In effect, they are able to turbo charge their earning potential as they work towards gaining a post secondary education, or to supplement their civilian incomes in their chosen field. In my estimation, escorting is a shrewd business move on which such women can capitalize. They are smart enough to see an opportunity when one presents itself, and take full advantage. I admire them for it. In fact, I often wish that I had been born a woman, since such an option is not readily available to me as a man. - rest assured, were I female, I would be an escort, too. You can bet your bottom dollar on that one!

Excellent post DL .

 

[chateau]

I want to sell crystal meth/cocaine/insert drug here to your children/family/relatives

 

[drlove]

I want to sell crystal meth/cocaine/insert drug here to your children/family/relatives

And your point as it pertains to this thread is...???

 

[genintoronto]

I'm not sure I follow you genintoronto. Empower: to endow with an ability; enable. Its seems to me that sex work is exactly that. In many cases, not in all cases.

[snip]

How come the path for women's "empowerment" is through sucking cocks? Because they lack other paths to accomplish what they want in life, in many cases. But that is not a reflection of how empowering sex work is. It is a reflection of how unempowered women are outside of sex work.

So tell me again, how is sex work not empowering? Have confused empowerment with equality?

I think you are following me just fine Questor. We are actually saying something very similar. Maybe the confusion comes from what our respective understanding of what "empowering" means. I come from an academic background where "empowering" implies more than "enabling". It implies that some sort of "power", in the social sense of the word, is gained. By "social power", I mean more than personal, individual power.

In plain english, this means that while sex work does provide many women with an income and financial independence otherwise unavailable to them (individual gain), their social position remain more or less the same. Women as a group aren't empowered socially from sex work.

If sex work was empowering for women, I would get social recognition for my work, rather than being shamed and judged by it. If sex work was empowering for women, I could proudly show my face on my pictures online, rather than hiding it for fear of the consequences of being recognized. If sex work was empowering for women, those of us in the sex industry would not have to hide our jobs from family, friends, lovers, etc. If sex work was empowering for women, I wouldn't have to fear losing my other job if someone finds out what I'm doing on the side. If sex work was empowering for women, there would be some public outrage at the 500 + aboriginal prostitutes that have gone missing or have been found killed. If sex work was empowering, a prostitute who gets raped wouldn't be blamed for it and wouldn't be accused of 'asking for it' since she 'sells it anyways'.

How many of you guys with daughters would proudly support and encourage your daughters to "empower" themselve by becoming strippers, MPs, or SPs? My guess is that not many of you would.

 

[genintoronto]

ok...I never said that a woman's body and sexuality was the only means of production that women control.

No, that's me saying it. And I would actually disagree that women own and control the means of production in the sex industry. Some women do. Most don't.

But generally speaking, the means of production in the world we live in are owned and controled disproportionatly by men.

In fact, I often wish that I had been born a woman, since such an option is not readily available to me as a man. - rest assured, were I female, I would be an escort, too. You can bet your bottom dollar on that one!

As I always say to men who suggest they would be escort if they could: you can. There's a lot of money to be made in the gay-for-pay business.

 

[RTRD]

Ding, Ding...

nd wouldn't be accused of 'asking for it' since she 'sells it anyways'.

How many of you guys with daughters would proudly support and encourage your daughters to "empower" themselve by becoming strippers, MPs, or SPs? My guess is that not many of you would.

...ding, ding, ding.

Of course, some will claim they would.

 

[Questor]

In plain english, this means that while sex work does provide many women with an income and financial independence otherwise unavailable to them (individual gain), their social position remain more or less the same. Women as a group aren't empowered socially from sex work.

This is true. I agree completely. And the many examples you describe are accurate as well. Sex work does nothing to improve the standing of women as a group in society, except in one small sense. It does empower a woman to achieve a personal goal and thereby be a role model for other women.

Who knows? Maybe Louise Arbour, chief prosecutor of International War Crimes Tribunal and Canadian Supreme Court Justice paid her way through law school by hooking. If she did, good for her. The fact that she doesn't feel free to put that on her resume does not speak well for how society views that kind of work. But maybe she would be flipping burgers in a McJob today if not for putting herself through law school with the income from sex work. Okay, that is probably a poor example, because someone of her abilities would find other ways to improve her life and escape a lifetime McJob other than sex work. But that also speaks to my point.

You can't blame sex work for the lack of alternatives for women. I think your "academic" meaning of the word empowerment is very much like the meaning of "promoting sexual equality". This, it does not do. Empower individual women, it does do. Are we to condemn something for what it doesn't do, instead of appreciate it for what it does do? Affirmative action does not eradicate racism.

 

[Questor]

How many of you guys with daughters would proudly support and encourage your daughters to "empower" themselve by becoming strippers, MPs, or SPs? My guess is that not many of you would.

Of course I wouldn't. For all the reasons you just outlined. Society puts sex work in legal grey zone for starters. There are health and safety risks also. But as a father, if I was given a choice for my daughter, to do a McJob for life, or to escort her way through university to become a doctor, there would be no question what I would choose. There are health and safety risks for life long poverty as well.

 

[Cycleguy007]

How many of you guys with daughters would proudly support and encourage your daughters to "empower" themselve by becoming strippers, MPs, or SPs? My guess is that not many of you would.

Admittedly a question I hope I never have to answer.

 

[Anynym]

Does she think that the Internet should be banned as well? She should be more open-minded and not make moral judgments on other consenting adult's sex lives. Maybe she is just jerking your chain.

Now there's a unique approach: demonstrate your intolerance and try to impose your moral judgments on her life.

In many relationships, you'll find a common set of shared values. Clearly, the two individuals discussed in the OP do not share certain values which many would consider to be significant to themselves, and would be wise to not pursue matters. Seems she found that to be the case, and declined coffee without being judgmental or critical.

This industry is easy enough to rationalize, and wanting to help ensure the safety of all involved is laudable. But I would ask this: knowing that some require anonymity for their personal safety, and some others choose anonymity out of some sense of shame, why is anonymity so prevalent among those who are proud of the industry?

I'm not saying it's a good or a bad thing. But if we can understand why we value anonymity on a board supportive of the industry, perhaps we can come closer to understanding how the broader public views such matters.

 

[Rockslinger]

If sex work was empowering for women, I would get social recognition for my work, rather than being shamed and judged by it.

Wow! You are so deep. The problem is society and not you. Society judges job/profession on a scale. For example, manual labour is rated lower than a "white collar" job. My own parents wanted me to be an engineer and not a plumber. Meanwhile, I am currently "between projects" and the plumber who cleared my kitchen drain charged me $200 for 75 minute of work (and no I did not even get an orgasm).

 

[Rockslinger]

How many of you guys with daughters would proudly support and encourage your daughters to "empower" themselve by becoming strippers, MPs, or SPs? My guess is that not many of you would.

I want my daughter to be the CEO of Microsoft. Seriously, there are many lines of work/careers that I would not encourage my daughter to pursue. For example, I would not want my daughter to be a soldier (nothing wrong with being a soldier). Changing gears a bit, I would also not want my daughter to be a lesbo (Ashley, stay away from her) not that there is anything wrong with being homo. At the end of the day, what she chooses is her choice.

 

[Angela@Mirage]

Its not so much that I disagree with her on escorting, its that her attitude is one of moral superiority and intolerance of others.
She is probably logged onto the website at the Church of Moral Superiority right now and blogging away..."And then this creep suggested that it didn't even bother him that this disgusting newspaper allows those sluts to advertise their services." And everyone else is saying: "Ewwww. And you almost went for a coffee with this sleezebag." LOL

LOL LOL! You deserve a woman who is confident and less uptight. You have the right to hobby. If your significant other can't handle that, there are lots of woman who will. Monogamy is the ultimate bore.

 

[Rockslinger]

Monogamy is the ultimate bore.

Did you just say that "variety is the spice of life"? What about the vow?

 

[amber-jade]

Did you just say that "variety is the spice of life"? What about the vow?

you mean the part that says ''good and BAD'' ?


.

 

[Rockslinger]

you mean the part that says ''good and BAD

Something like that and always remember to sign a pre-nup. Be smart with the ladies like Donald Trump. When he divorced Marla, she ended with $2MM. The Donald said that is the easiest $2MM she will ever make.

 

[Angela@Mirage]

Did you just say that "variety is the spice of life"? What about the vow?

I am saying that a woman or a man has every rite to be with who they want to be with. You do not "own" the person you are with. As far as vows go, as long as a man can handle my bisexuality, I will marry him.

 

[Cycleguy007]

I am saying that a woman or a man has every rite to be with who they want to be with. You do not "own" the person you are with. As far as vows go, as long as a man can handle my bisexuality, I will marry him.

I have NO PROBLEM w/ bisexuality! (in women! LOL) But alas... I am already married!

 

[Rockslinger]

As far as vows go, as long as a man can handle my bisexuality, I will marry him.

If the SO doesn't know, is it really cheating? Sort of like a tree falling in the forest and if nobody hears it, does it matter? Oh no, you swing both ways. I am shocked. As shocked as when that dancer on the Board announced she is not a virgin. What is the world coming to?