Public perception of escorting?

[Questor]

Hypothetical situation. Not really. It happened to me. You meet a woman. There is something in common, so you end out exchanging a few emails. At some point, she says in an email that she does not like NOW Mag because it sells sex advertising. Actually she goes on about how NOW is in violation of various solicitation laws, etc. How do you respond? I imagine many of you have been in similar situations, even if some of the details are different.

a) Ignore the comment.
b) Tell her that magazines like NOW should be banned.
c) Tell he that you are not familiar with NOW mag.
d) Agree that the sex ads are distasteful.
e) Tell her that you pay for sex all the time and offer her $200 for the hour.
f) Tell her that there is nothing wrong with women who make a decision to be sex workers and there is nothing wrong with advertising their services.

Your opinions are entirely welcome and appreciated.

 

[Never Compromised]

Isn't NOW some downtown DINKS publication? We don't get it in the burbs. BTW, why are you checking out the paid sex ads?

 

[Aardvark154]

1) What are you looking for in the relationship e.g. do you really believe that it is good for the long haul?

2) Is this the only thing you have as a point of disagreement?

3) If you "go along" with her, is this something that is going to lie there and fester.

 

[Danolo]

Tell her the truth about you...

 

[Rockslinger]

I would say that I hate NOW mag because it is run by a bunch of looney Liberal lefties who think that everything wrong on this planet is the fault of white, Christian, English speaking countries.

 

[drlove]

I'd have to go with the last option. First, it is perfectly legal to advertise sexual services in newspapers, online etc. (most providers do it in a relatively discreet fashion anyhow). It is only illegal to communicate for the purpose of prostitution in a public place, or to operate/be found in a common bawdy house. Prostitution itself is not illegal.

Second, the lady's attitude is endemic of the stereotypes and social stigma so prevelent in society today. Perhaps she has moral issues; perhaps she considers herself a feminist and loathes the idea of "oppression by and subserviency to men" in general. I'd say that escorting is the embodiment of women's empowerment. That is, they are comfortable with and are in control of their own bodies. Furthermore, it is a means to financial independence as they own and control the means of production. In effect, they exert power and control over men by providing a service which the male of the species is powerless to resist! *lol*! I think that would cause her jaw to drop, don't you?? I think she'd be so speechless at that point you could turn the topic of conversation to anything that suited your fancy...

 

[Questor]

1) What are you looking for in the relationship e.g. do you really believe that it is good for the long haul?

2) Is this the only thing you have as a point of disagreement?

3) If you "go along" with her, is this something that is going to lie there and fester.

We crossed paths for awhile in a work environment. But there was not a lot of contact, so we didn't really get to know one another, but I was sort of checking her out from a distance. Now the work relationship has been severed, but we exchanged emails because of this common interest. Through the first couple of emails, I kinda sensed that there wasn't much potential for long term romance, and I wasn't really looking for a sexual conquest. But I thought it might be interesting to get to know her a bit better. Mostly looking for something platonic, but open to other possibilities.

 

[RTRD]

You're kidding, right?

Hypothetical situation. Not really. It happened to me. You meet a woman. There is something in common, so you end out exchanging a few emails. At some point, she says in an email that she does not like NOW Mag because it sells sex advertising. Actually she goes on about how NOW is in violation of various solicitation laws, etc. How do you respond? I imagine many of you have been in similar situations, even if some of the details are different.

a) Ignore the comment.
b) Tell her that magazines like NOW should be banned.
c) Tell he that you are not familiar with NOW mag.
d) Agree that the sex ads are distasteful.
e) Tell her that you pay for sex all the time and offer her $200 for the hour.
f) Tell her that there is nothing wrong with women who make a decision to be sex workers and there is nothing wrong with advertising their services.

Your opinions are entirely welcome and appreciated.

You go with "A". Playing "martyr" for the sex business isn't going to get you any freebies....

 

[Rockslinger]

Second, the lady's attitude is endemic of the stereotypes and social stigma so prevelent in society today. Perhaps she has moral issues;

Ask her what she thinks of homos. Ask her if the naked body is beautiful? Ask her about inter-racial marriages. Maybe she does have moral issues. Maybe she is a bigot.

 

[Cinema Face]

Sounds like she's fishing to find out what your attitude is about sp's. Your response should depend on what she means to you. If you want to persue a relationship, then you should just make some quick negative comment about it and then drop it.

But...If you don't care about her then give her the correct response:

Sex is legal. Selling is legal. Why should selling something be illegal if it's legal to give it away for free?

 

[torontojohn]

My response is always a variation of the same thing - prostitution in and of itself isn't a bad thing, and labeling prostitutes as 'dirty' is downright wrong.

I also usually follow up with the qualifiers that there are public health issues, that the job is often mentally stressful for many women (though a good portion of that may very well be because most women look down on prostitution), and the NIMBY thing (I know I don't want a stroll in my neighbourhood).

The issue with married men going to hookers is entirely an issue with the MAN. The prostitute has done nothing wrong, has broken no contract.

And yes, I actually do espouse the above opinions. I don't have it in me to be hypocritical.

 

[drlove]

Sex is legal. Selling is legal. Why should selling something be illegal if it's legal to give it away for free?

Exactly.

 

[Rockslinger]

I'd tell her to stop being so uptight.

Does she think that the Internet should be banned as well? She should be more open-minded and not make moral judgments on other consenting adult's sex lives. Maybe she is just jerking your chain.

 

[Angela@Mirage]

I'd have to go with the last option. First, it is perfectly legal to advertise sexual services in newspapers, online etc. (most providers do it in a relatively discreet fashion anyhow). It is only illegal to communicate for the purpose of prostitution in a public place, or to operate/be found in a common bawdy house. Prostitution itself is not illegal.

Second, the lady's attitude is endemic of the stereotypes and social stigma so prevelent in society today. Perhaps she has moral issues; perhaps she considers herself a feminist and loathes the idea of "oppression by and subserviency to men in general). I'd say that escorting is the embodiment of women's empowerment. That is, they are comfortable with and are in control of their own bodies. Furthermore, it is a means to financial independence as they own and control the means of production. In effect, they exert power and control over men by providing a service which the male of the species is powerless to resist! *lol*! I think that would cause her jaw to drop, don't you?? I think she'd be so speechless at that point you could turn the topic of conversation to anything that suited your fancy...

Now that is a steller response.

 

[drlove]

Now that is a steller response.

Thanks!

 

[Questor]

Yes, I liked Dr Loves response. If it had been an involved face-to-face discussion, I might have gone along those lines. But I didn't want to sound too informed of the subject either, or too pro, as that might suggest a more active interest. I want to be discreet about my involvement.

My response by email was somewhat shorter. I said that I never really understood why some people are offended by a few hundred women who decide to make a living by having sex. I pointed out that there was nothing illegal about it. I said that while used condoms and syringes in back alleys is a serious issue in a few neighbourhoods, those are problems with street prostitution. The women with ads in NOW are not involved in street prostitution, and I said that a few tacky ads in the back of a newspaper never really bothered me.

The emails that preceded that had been an exchange of ideas around common interests. We were also in the process of arranging a coffee meeting. That would have been our first meeting outside of the work environment. But after my response, she cancelled the tentative date we had with a short email: "Hi XXXXXXX, I think I'll pass on getting together for a coffee today."

Nothing else, that's it. I am disappointed that she cancelled. The brevity of the email, along with the absence of any alternative time to get together suggests that she didn't appreciate my views on escorting. While I am disappointed, I am also relieved. What an uptight kind of an attitude.

 

[james t kirk]

I would say that I hate NOW mag because it is run by a bunch of looney Liberal lefties who think that everything wrong on this planet is the fault of white, Christian, English speaking countries.

Exactly.

If she gets all offended at that, PLUS the fact that there are call girls in there, dump her ass like a hot potatoe.

 

[Rockslinger]

While I am disappointed, I am also relieved. What an uptight kind of an attitude.

How old is this woman? I had a conversation with a 60 something woman and she mentioned that she does not approve of inter-racial marraiges. One of my best friends (a great guy) is black and married to a white woman and he is a wonderful husband and father.

 

[gramage]

I would say that I hate NOW mag because it is run by a bunch of looney Liberal lefties who think that everything wrong on this planet is the fault of white, Christian, English speaking countries.

Yeah but they run Dan Savage's article and have the best arts listings so I have to pick it up anyway. If I ever read the articles I end up getting mad, which is weird because I thought I was a looney leftie.

 

[james t kirk]

My response by email was somewhat shorter. I said that I never really understood why some people are offended by a few hundred women who decide to make a living by having sex. I pointed out that there was nothing illegal about it. I said that while used condoms and syringes in back alleys is a serious issue in a few neighbourhoods, those are problems with street prostitution. The women with ads in NOW are not involved in street prostitution, and I said that a few tacky ads in the back of a newspaper never really bothered me.

The emails that preceded that had been an exchange of ideas around common interests. We were also in the process of arranging a coffee meeting. That would have been our first meeting outside of the work environment. But after my response, she cancelled the tentative date we had with a short email: "Hi XXXXXXX, I think I'll pass on getting together for a coffee today."

Nothing else, that's it. I am disappointed that she cancelled. The brevity of the email, along with the absence of any alternative time to get together suggests that she didn't appreciate my views on escorting. While I am disappointed, I am also relieved. What an uptight kind of an attitude.

Trust me, this is not the kind of woman you want to hook up with on any long term basis. Leave her for an equally uptight and judgemental guy (there's lots out there) and let them get together and feel so superior in their morality to the rest of us. I think at the heart of the issue is that many women like this feel threatened by sex. Sex to them is a weapon, a power that they have over their men and SPs and MPAs work to undermine that power and as a result, by extension, they loath women who sell sex.

Being aware of the sex industry as terbites are, you, like me, probably have a much more accepting and easy going attitude towads the sex industry. I realize that human intimacy is an important thing in life and sometimes, it just isn't available when I need it. Not having it makes me unwell.

From my point of view, as long as both parties are over 18, and everything is mutually consensual, and everyone treats each other with respect, I don't see the problem. There is so much in this world that is truly evil, consensual sex in exchnage for money is not one of them.

One other thing, emails are the WRONG method of communication for any such type of conversation as the other party is unable to hear the intonation in your voice, and the "conversation" is entirely her point of view with no give and take. That said, I still think she's a judgemental hard ass and should be avoided other than for a quick bang.