I had given a gift to a special SP and it was neither extravagant or expensive, but when I choose it I wanted it to have special meaning to her based upon what I knew of her life. I can tell you that it did as she sent me a photo of it and she was extremely happy with it for the joy that it brought. And when she contacted me after her email changed and a long layoff, she made reference to it in a "riddle" sort of way do that I would know it was her. And for those who feel SP's should give gifts as well, she did give me a couple of things that she knew I would like based upon our conversations.
Need Advice - Christmas Gift for SP?
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Well I guess I just slipped a notch or two in your eyes and others as my new site does include a gratuities section. Here's why, some gents like to bring a little something extra, whether the lady is new or a regular, and this takes the guess work out of what to bring. I also state that the best gift they can give me is their continued patronage and I mean it! I can assure you that I'm a very down to earth lady and never expect anything of the sort. Making assumptions/judgements that I'm stuck up/arrogant/entitled says more about those making such statements than me.
To the OP, do any of them have another lady they work with whom you could reach out to to get an idea what they might like? I always get my tenant a Christmas gift and asked her boss what she likes the first year she rented from me. I do this because I know that it's not only nice to be appreciated but to show appreciation as well! The real reason I always thank those that speak highly of me on the boards, not because of tacit advertising.
I understand the premise of being the customer, but always exceptions to that. It's like having a dentist that will move around appointments or stay late to accommodate you, or the mechanic that will come in on a Saturday to finish your car etc. If they've gone out of their way then I always show my appreciation with a gift card, bottle of wine etc. No different with a SP, if she's Indy & juggled her schedule to meet mine or an agency girl I really like that I can communicate directly with & will stay late or start earlier than of course I will compensate her or get her a gift card or bottle of wine if I'm going to see them before Christmas or their BD. As far as spending 3hun....nope can't say as i'd do that
Got dinner at my favorite restaurant on my BD & a really nice tie & socks on another occasion....with a extended session & special guest
If you're good to us we're good to you!
A very trusted client has been giving me his second opinion on my upcoming site and I bought him a nice Chablise as a thank you. Had a past client put my electric fireplace together for me after a session and then took him out to dinner. Had another client use his truck after a session to pick up my chair for me and took him out to lunch before he headed home to Collingwood. I'd much rather treat a client for helping me than pay someone else to do these things. Please note that in both instances I asked in advance. I don't believe in putting people on the spot.
I think you are forgetting about the fact that you are not the only one seeing the lady. I have had the debate with myself as well about putting a list and still might. I often get asked what I would like. I have gotten things from as small as a Twix bar [one of my favs] all the way up to a hugely discounted car purchase, and I mean HUGELY discounted. Plus everything you can think of in between.
Most of my clients are long term arrangements. Up to 7 years long. When you are seeing someone basically weekly for that long, you tend to go past the usual TERB reviewed style sessions.
Many clients would not know what I would personally like as a gift. They don't know my brand of perfume or my finger size. These are not things that they want to ask when giving a surprise, so having a list is helpful.
What you see as arrogance may just be made to be helpful.
Now having said that, I have seen ladies boast in order to pressure other clients for similar gifts. I have seen a couple of ladies directly beg on Twttier for a certain purse or shoes. So I understand the point, but you have to remember that everyone has thier own different reasons in the business and just like Sophia has added one to her site, you know she is not stuck up. So you could be pre-judging and missing out on some amazing ladies.
I agree 100%. Gifts are nice but know the personal well enough first.
Amazing post!First off, getting your favorite ladies a Christmas gift is a very sweet gesture. From personal experience, this does not happen often, most guys just pay-per-play and leave it at that for whatever reason, so you'll definitely stand out for sure.
Second; You have a nice budget. 300$ per girl is alot of money for a gift. It will allow you to get something really nice.
If you don't know their tastes, then that can be tricky... I'd either get them a gift card, take them shopping or give them the money sealed in an envelope with a lovely little note telling them how much you appreciate them and what they do for you. If there is a true friendship between the two of you, then I would tell them how much you value this special bond you have.
Money? I love receiving cash and I know many other ladies that would say the same. So many people need money to pay off their debts and bills to finally be able to breathe and relax more, so clearing debts is a beautiful gift itself. Why do you think we work?
Jewelry? Swarovsky and Pandora are nice. I'd buy something neutral and classic that she can wear often, and not just on rare occasions.
Clothes and Lingerie? Personally, I'd rather get a gift card or go shopping with you and select what I want. I'm picky on clothes and color, and sizes differ so much between models and brands... It might look good on the hanger or mannequin, but not so much on me...
Massage/Spa? It's a classic and most ladies will love. But, honestly, many of my clients are certified massage therapists or are just really talented in giving massages, so I just don't need to go to spas as much anymore. But hot/cold tubs and saunas are a different thing, I love those, so soothing, and even better if they're far out of town to relax even more.
Music? Everyone loves music, so you can't go wrong with a gift card from a music store. Or even concert tickets
Books? If she's a smart girl, she'll probably enjoy something to read and read again.
Perfume? I'd buy the same she wears, not a different one, she might just hate it.
Makeup? Always nice, but makeup has expiration dates and she might already have too much. Eyelashes are my personal favorites.
Restaurants? As SPs we already go out on restaurant dates every month...
Food and Drinks? I don't consider this a gift...
You can also check if 300$ is enough for an all inclusive hotel stay somewhere like New York or elsewhere for a day or two, with hotel, bus and maybe food included. This I would love, as travelling is one of my passions.
If I was to pick for myself, I'd prefer getting something useful I can reuse and also remember you from:
- Cash (for bills)
- Jewelry
- Shoes, Clothes, Seasonal Jackets
- Decoration, Furniture or Electros for my place
- All inclusive mini trip somewhere
I would disagree. Sometimes that is what a lady would truly prefer so that she can spend it on what she wants/needs. As you said, a lady is not going to say "life would be better with....." and everyone spends a little too much at xmas. A nicely worded personal card with cash could just be what the doctor order.
I just would not rule it out for some ladies. I know for me personal, a cash gift is always a great one. It means that you respect my choice on what I want to do with that money.
I am naturally a hard person to shop for because if I want something, I buy.
The other thing to think of is what her personal situation is. If she has a BF that you don't know about and he doesn't know about her job, she can't be bringing home jewellery. I had a friend in this business who use to leave flowers, choclates, etc in her room when she was done because she could not take them home. Clients didn't know her home life, why would they? It just meant the gifts themselves were a waste. The thought was great but the gift itself went unused. Cash would have just been better.
I am the same in my mainstream job, but it is also different. As I said above, men are the same boat. They often have wives and therefore gifts can be tricky.
This is how I would give a gift to a client. With some extra time. However when you do that naturally anyway, it makes that kind of difficult. LOL
Other things have been outfit pruchases, or toys to be used with them only.
Gift cards are good. I have done gas cards before. EVERY person can use free gas. Guy or Girl. Guys are actually pretty happy when they get a gas card.
The bolded is a great idea. If the OP can ask someone else on her behalf, then he is winning the quessing game battle.
One of my ATF's had this on her website and she truly meant it:
"Gifts are always appreciated - but a respectful, courteous, and mindful gentlemen is the greatest gift I value the most during our encounter."
She received many gifts from her clients, many small and some big, and did not have a published wish list. And whether or not they gave her a gift, she made them feel like a king for the time that was spent with her. And I do know for a fact, that she used to give presents to her regular clients at Christmas. She spent thousands of dollars on clients to thank them for seeing her.
For the life of me, I don't understand why others who have nothing to do with someone or have no idea of what she provides clients, have to chime in negatively about gift giving or having a wish list. So many women have them, as do some agencies. As children (at least in my world), wish lists have always been a part of our lives. Well, seeing an SP is a part of someone's life and if the time spent with an SP is able to fill a void in their life that is sadly missing, there is nothing wrong with someone wanting to show their appreciation through a gift, big or small.
This is a thread started by some asking for advice and guys have to chime in negatively about giving gifts and SP' s that have wish lists. Obviously, they have no concept of what it takes to be a decent person. Or maybe, they were the little kid that didn't get what they wanted when they were a child.
And just like life, time is one thing that we will never have enough of and when a women grants that to you, cherish it and never take it for granted.
Please try not to speak for everyone when you express your opinion on why YOU partake in this hobby.
I have 4 favorite regulars. With each, I have a different kind of relationship. Definitely still a business like provider/client relationship, but these are special ladies, and hopefully value me as a client.
I like having 4 girlfriends, who even know about each other and still no hassles. Yup, that’s insane.
They even know I check out new girls and still no hassles.
One of last years favourites is gone, and another has moved up, she provides excellent service and likes me coming back.
So, I’m sorry it bothers some of you guys that I like to give presents. I’m not sure why it bothers you, but I suggest you let it go. Do what you have to to deal with it.
And try to have a merry Christmas or whatever holiday you like to celebrate.
And, value wise, Black Friday and cyber Monday are some of the best sales for Christmas shopping.
Thank you for this informative and helpful post. I will certainly consider cash. I never bought flowers for an SP for this very reason. Mostly small boxes of chocolates and gift cards, discreet quick consumables.
I was considering asking the booking agent (most of my regulars are agency girls) if she knew what my SPs would like. I don’t want to ask the SPs she works with for a few obvious reasons.
I actually thought the same thing because this is basically how most businesses function. You have a list of frequent clients and you tend to reward those clients, sometimes at Christmas, or sometimes in general. Maybe it's me but I see a lot of hypocrisy because the standard "line" on Terb is "it's a business relationship, it's not a personal relationship". So (1) according to business, a regular should be receiving, not getting a gift and (2) by giving a gift to an SP you are somewhat treating it like a personal relationship, which it supposedly isn't.
Now, that said, I understand the concept of generosity, I understand that some people, even myself, like to feel it isn't strictly a transactional business relationship and therefore sometimes the rules aren't exactly the same. I get that some guys give freely, while others give gifts that are basically for themselves (e.g. lingerie is a gift to yourself - how many guys give lingerie with the expectation that she WON'T wear it for them?). I myself have made a few MPA's some homemade desserts and one regular requested a souvenir from a trip - normally this would be wrong but it wasn't for a number of reasons (relationship, low cost, easy to get, etc.).
The difference between you and other SP's is you come on Terb, you provide nice, pleasant, down-to earth responses. So I would NOT think you specifically are stuck up/arrogant/etc, especially since you have explained yourself. In fact, based on your responses and attitude displayed in general, I actually think quite highly of you. There are also some other ladies on here who warrant the same consideration. But in the absence of any communication/comments, I personally think (and others apparently agree) that having a publicized wishlist does come across as entitled, combined with showing things off . For me, the important things are attitude, hygiene, openness and honesty, etc. Everything else is a bit of a mixed bag with some things being pros and others being cons.
Let's be honest, the majority of clients are not going to bring gifts, either because they are one-time, infrequent, don't give gifts, etc. So it's a weak argument for anyone to say it makes it easier for clients to know since it's not applicable to most. And while I'm sure they exist, I don't see too many gift givers showing up for first dates with an extravagant, specific item like perfume, lingerie, etc. Chances are high those types will bring flowers, chocolate, wine, etc. And if I was the type of person who brings wine, I'm going to ask what a lady enjoys rather than bringing something and hoping for the best (some don't drink, some have distinct preferences).
Now, let's say I'm in a long term "relationship" with an SP and I wanted to get her something. As some have suggested, wouldn't some of our conversations give me an idea if I wanted to get her a book, a personal item she wants, etc? Yes, I may lose the element of surprise to some extent but it makes little difference. And just like the act of giving a gift is a sign of generosity, receiving a gift of any type should be done with gratitude and humbleness. I think the idea of a Christmas wishlist for kids is great. But a child who complains he/she didn't get something on that list is ungrateful and needs to be taught that type of attitude is wrong. So why does an SP need to have a list of specifics? IMO, not necessary. I think the only thing that's needed is the line "gratuities and gifts are not required but graciously accepted" you see on a website.
As usual, you make some good points. I did address some of this above.
I don't know about others, but I make a list of pros/cons about an SP in my head. There's a lot of things I consider. If I see a wishlist, it's a con, I won't lie. That said, it's not going to be the major determining factor that makes/breaks my decision to see a lady. Fact is you and a lady are never going to be 100% in sync about everything (different taste in music/tv/food/hobbies/etc.). But those types of differences don't mean two people can't meet and have a great relationship, SP or civie.
And please remember (and I know this comes off as contradictory) but I try to avoid prejudging someone unless it's clear they don't fit into the category of SP I want to see. I'm not a fan of the wishlist but will still see the person. Now, I won't go in thinking the person is stuck up and treat her as such. I'll go in with a blank slate and judge for myself. Hell, knowing me, I'll confront her about whatever (a post, her wishlist, etc.) - I have no bounds when it comes to conversation, and of course, the same rules apply to me. Other than personal info, a lady can ask me anything and I'll answer. If I see a bunch of negative/nutty posts or twitter activity, if she has bad reviews, if she responds curtly/nasty via email, etc. and I feel there is a clear pattern of poor attitude, I'm more than likely not going to chance seeing this person.
Terb is full of haters and debaters - I'm the latter.
Jewelry wouldn't cut it with the lady in the video...she definitely needs a thick chain!
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I don't work for a "big company". And those client Christmas presents come right off the bottom line my friend.
And even "big companies" have to MAKE the money in order to spend it. In fact, some "big companies" have razor thin margins (Loblaws, Air Canada to name but a few I'm familiar with). I know, I used to work for a MASSIVE COMPANY and you'd be surprised how tight the cash can be. And everyone there is "just trying to make a living" too.
Nothing stopping her from offering her most excellent regular customers a freebie. After all, it's better to give than to receive at this time of the year.
Absolutely. I agree.
But that sort of above and beyond service was not what this thread was all about.
I'm all for respect both ways between client and SP, and for kindness, decency, etc.
But I just find the notion of buying an SP a Christmas present "just because" a little bit desperate. (As I said in my first post though, if a guy has some sort of "off the clock" thing going on with her, maybe they go to a movie now and then, or out to dinner with no expectations, etc. Hey, cool, that's a different story.) But paying for sexual services is paying for sexual services. So many guys on TERB start to fall in love because she's young and gorgeous and he's very attracted to her and he starts to lose perspective. And that perspective is very simple. If you weren't paying for it, there is no way in a million years that she would be interested in you. And that's probably the case in most pay for play transactions. So when you start buying her a Christmas present on top of paying her Bay Street Lawyer salaries, you aren't seeing it for what it is. Sorry to sound so callous, however, I believe this to be the case. Have a laugh together, hopefully have some great sex, but unless there is more to the relationship than just ultimately paying for sex and the fantasy that goes along with it, then you're kidding yourself.
Sorry to be blunt, but if you want someone to really love you, then find a girlfriend that truly cares about you for you. Buy HER the Christmas present.
Or hey, give the 50 bucks to the Salvation army rather than buy your SP some lingerie. I can get my head around that.
There are two types of SP's. Some will graciously accept and treat it as a gift and something personable. Then there's a few (based on some Terb responses) that indicate this as unnacceptable - their time is precious and to be paid for and requesting they eat with you and not paying is unnacceptable - at least that's how it comes across. Clearly Sophia fits into the first category.
Personally I'd be happy to cook a meal with an SP after and give her the lesson/recipe for the dish if the option was available. Or I help her cook something and I learn. Obviously this requires advanced planning and cooking facilities (so no hotel room).
I can assure you I'm not delusional. I know our relationship is ultimately business. However, that doesn't mean it's wrong to show her a little bit of extra appreciation for her services, especially during the Holiday season.
