Wow - definitely not my day. Let's take a step back. I'm going to try and explain what I am intending to say because there's been some clear misunderstanding.
While Sophia's comment about stray cats was a joke, I took it to mean she doesn't mind being fed. Perhaps I am wrong about this but was basing it on the fact that she replied to a guy saying he'd cook and save on the $500 dinner date. If I am wrong, I'm sorry but that was my logic. Therefore, Sophia, IMO, fit into the category of gracious and able to accept a gift versus being the ladies who come off as very transactional and you even asking the question would be totally disrespectful and out of line. There is also the assumption that the person is a low volume provider therefore (1) you are doing an appointment so they wouldn't be taking a night off and this would happen after your appointment (or before) and (2) the lady ALWAYS has the option to decline and there would be no backlash. And Sophia, I don't think you are a starving SP who can't afford her own meal.
Now, as mentioned, I have given MPA's gifts/tips/etc. Why? Because they went above and beyond. So I do gift in certain situations.
Now, can we all agree that the SP/client relationship is a business relationship? I'm pretty sure that is quite clear, it's not a personal relationship. Therefore, in analyzing it from a business standpoint, it doesn't make the most sense for a customer to give a gift to a supplier since you are paying the supplier for the goods/services they provide. So unless the supplier goes above and beyond, this doesn't happen very often. OTOH, suppliers tend to give gifts to their customers as a thank-you for their continued business/loyalty.
Jessica, I've bolded a paragraph because we are in COMPLETE AGREEMENT. So somehow you are arguing with me but we are both in agreement. In your example, you are going above and beyond, so I would not be surprised if your regular customers wanted to give you something above and beyond the donation. The OP has not (to my knowledge) indicated that the SP he is intending to gift has gone above and beyond other than seeing him on a regular basis, for which he compensates her the rate she requests.
Again, I get that some people are generous (hell I'm accused of being very generous in certain regards). So if a guy wants to get a gal a gift, nobody's stopping him - everyone is free to do as they like and spend their money as they choose. But to me, it doesn't make sense to give a gift to an SP who does only what's she's expected to do, no more, no less, because she has been compensated by the donation.
I re-read your response and also agree with the second bolded paragraph. So I'm confused where there's disagreement there.
I will say that a client who gives lingerie is doing it somewhat for his own benefit. Very different from a gift of cash/gift card/book/spa day. Even a toy is partially for his benefit unless he's just giving it to her and saying use it on her own.
I am not disagreeing and I am not misunderstanding you at all. I think again you are misunderstanding me. I am showing you how your posts can and do come across to others. I understand what you are trying to say, but you make blanket statements and your love of the debate have skewed people's opinions about you. If I can't point those out, you can't evaluate them and decide if a change is required.
If you make statements over a series of time, people will form opinions. Just like you make opinions about SPs based on communication, so do others. When 90% of the time, you are talking about OTC things that you accept, and "paid time" things that you don't accept - it leaves people with the impressions that they have about you. That is you want things from ladies for free, OTC, out of scope AND that you don't allow room for some of those things during your time. Now don't get me wrong, all guys would love OTC action of some sort. Conversation, meal, massage, etc. but you take it a step further when you are willing to accept these things on her time/dime but you are not willing to share your dime/time with her. I am not saying it is right or wrong. I am saying however that it is not equal by any means. You can't blame a lady for wanting to keep it equal between the parties. I have no issue giving OTC chit chat before and after, but do I want to give that to a guy who would not be equally willing to spend his time with some chit-chat, or who would not equally feel he should be paying for that extra time spent? Doesn't mean it has to happen that way, but at least the thought/idea is reciprocated. With you, based on your posts, it is not reciprocated. You say you are all things equal, and I am pointing out, this is not equal. Again, not something you can think about or change if you want when no one points it out.
In this thread, you made a blanket statement about gift giving, about ladies with a wish list. Now you have had to go back and change that stance when confronted. Not to mention you make some assumptions like the idea that these gentlemen are only getting basic services so no gift is required.
Admittedly, you have no idea what this client's sessions are like and you have no idea why he wants to give those gifts. However, you don't need to. It is none of your business. Again, this was not a thread about debating the merits of giving a gift but looking for suggestions for a gift. You were the first one to make comments that turned this thread into a debate. Because you like voicing your opinion and debating, which I understand but you did so by making a blanket statement about escorts with wishlists. Not even about the actual gift giving. You turned into a bit of SP bashing by stating your opinion that they are arrogant. You only back peddled on the issue and added until further communication is had, but is that really the right way to think about it in general? Would it not be better to assume the opposite first? That they are like me or Sophia and use the further communication to see if they are different. I would personally make positive judgments before negative ones, and yes - it is a pre-judgment. I don't know if you see that, but that is what it is.
I am also not going to fully agree with the business relationship part. Why? Because it is an
intimate business relationship. That makes a difference. That makes it different than any other service business in the world. If there is no room for the intimate part of your equation, then all appointments should be wham bam and outtie. That is NOT what most guys want. I have clients who feel blown away because they thought they were just missing sex and found out they were missing a lot more in life. I bring that to them. That is more than a "business" transaction. The money is there, yes - but that is not the whole part of the transaction. That is 2 mins worth of the appointment time, the rest is the intimate relationship the two build together.
I say to everyone passing judgement - who are we to decide the intimacy level and sharing of the two people involved? There are plenty of ladies who are here to make money. It is a job, just like yours. Nothing wrong with wanting to earn a living, so this overall distaste for ladies who are "only in it for the money" is hypocritical in my opinion, but that is a thread for a different day. Because of the reasons, I am involved in this business, I have to watch how I word things. I have to be very careful when members post questions to escorts. My replies have to be clear and personal about me and me only. Because I can't make blanket statements that seem to speak for or judge others. I can't say in the "arriving" thread. "Oh ya, us ladies love to cum with a client." Or even worse "A lady that does like to cum when in session is _____".
So when you are wanting to debate, and you make these blanket statements, in a thread that really should not have them, you end up with people frustrated with you and your posting. You are right that there is miscommunication, but I don't think you see your part in it. You are miscommunicating the point of this thread when you derail it into a debate. You are miscommunicating your opinion as statements of fact or generalizations. Some hurtful and insulting. Sophia made the comment she did because your assumption of arrogance in a blanket statement was slightly offensive
These are areas you can look into and see if a change is warranted. If you want to become a prolific poster, you need to understand community-based posting and not everything is a debate.
Now I realize I derailed the thread as well, but it is way past the original intent and I think the poster got what he wanted out of it, so I felt using this thread would be helpful to show examples of said behaviours.
Instead you, in your debating glory LOL, debated the examples. Not quite picking up on what I was using those examples for.
I agree with Captain Kirk and find mclarkez1980's response misguided if not ludicrous. Wake-up - it's a service .. it's not real ! You are the one who should consider a robot or blow up doll - at least you won't fall in love and start an expensive courtship that ends when your money runs out. I'm not ruling out a bottle of wine or similar valued token gift of appreciation but anything above that - why not just get a big 'L' tattooed on your head to confirm her point of view.
I spend a lot of money with suppliers - it is not unusual for me to get token gifts as an appreciation for the business I gave them. Following this analogy - you should be getting an appreciation gift for the business you bring them. I have yet to see a thread - "What should I (SO) buy my best customer for a gift this Christmas ?".
Maybe my definition of Sugar Daddy needs refinement but taking your S.O. for a $1,000 + shopping spree and then coughing up an hourly rate for future services is not a Sugar Daddy.
Maybe because SP's don't need advice in this regard????
I have given clients gifts before. I have made homemade goodies. I have given extra time, bought an outfit/toy for use with just them. I have given gas cards to married clients because they can hide that easily.
Please don't assume it is not the other way around either.
I wouldn't have minded so much if play time only lasted a hh but it usually took 45 min's to an hr for him to cum. What happened once became expected by him every time. When I finally pointed out that we were running overtime during playtime in an effort to stick up for myself as I felt I was being taken advantage of, he immediately got nasty and stated that "I don't know how to blow him right.", giving me a glimpse of his true nature. The whole relationship went downhill after that as he got nastier and nastier over time, culminating in him telling me that "there must be something wrong with me because I can't achieve orgasm". He knew about my past sexual abuse growing up. He was being pissy about not getting something for nothing anymore and it was all done under the guise of friendship or wanting to do something nice for me.
