Ladies, what does it mean when a girl tells you you are too nice?

[poorboy]

she is not treated poorly........she is treated extremely well sexually and mentally
Dogman

Isn't that the movie where Mickey Rourke lies to her and says he is going out for 15 minutes, but stays out for a couple of hours, and then he slaps her around a bit for snooping around in his drawers and then practically rapes her on his dining room table?

8 out of 10 women have been sexually abused in some manner, so I guess that is ok.

I guess it also means when I get a gf, I can call a sp without telling her and then ask her to have a 3 some in the hotel room.

I hear every girl is a lesbian anyways and you pay for sex one way or the other so no mental issues should come of that.

I'll also start walking around in shady neighbourhoods with my gf so that we can get held up and I can have sex with her in public after being beat up and she stabs someone.

Got to make dates exciting somehow.

I think you better watch the movie again. Your memory is being selective.

 

[Speedo]

I usually get the "you're too nice" line within a couple of weeks of hearing "why are there no nice guys anymore?"

<grin> Can't win, so I gave up. I'm happy with me, myself and I, (and whichever dancer I'm with...)

 

[sexybooty]

I've been in her situation before. I used to work as a checkout girl in a grocery store as a teenager...and older men would be interested in me as well.

Now I don't really understand why you need advice, because it seems to me she has made things pretty clear from the start telling you she didn't want to date you(if you want to give me gifts, that's okay but don't expect anything), and is not responding to you anymore.

Why would the time you spend together be worthwhile to her, what do you have to offer her...a 21 year old? When you were holding her hand, playing with her hair, etc., was she doing this back to you, were there any signs that she was interested in you at all?

Anyway, you came on way too strong, plus you've listed off things you don't like about her, and in a way insulted her judgement about who you think she would want to date, and on top of that told her you're not afraid to show how you feel, which sounds like you're not going to back down. She definitely won't want to be your friend...and probably won't want to talk to you anymore either...why would she?

ps...Her and I probably think along the same lines, as I am 22.

 

[dogman]

Poor Boy

I do not condone violence in any fashion.......that being said......to me violence is when one person does not want the physical contact.

You are taking all the negative aspects of the movie......and using them to make yourself happy..........At the start of this thread you wanted to know what a woman meant by the phrase.....you are too nice......well you have gotten some advice on how to overcome it and you attempt to start an argument.......I suggest you attempt to take the good part of the advice and ignore the rest......otherwise good luck and continue on being a nice guy.......

Dogman

 

[poorboy]

dogman,

The problem I have is when you say Kim Bassinger "was treated very well sexually and mentally".

I think if most guys tried to surprise thier gf/wife with a sp, that would be the last time they would see thier gf/wife except to collect thier personal belongings.

Sure, sometimes people play that waiting game, but would you loose your temper the way Rourke did in the movie if a girl you liked was snooping around your apartment? Would you hit her? Not too many of us here would.

I appreciate the fact that you are trying to help. I just think you need to give a better example.

If you treat a sp nice and try to please her, she wants to see you again. It's easy to tell if she's excited to see you. I don't understand why women outside the business don't respond the same way.

 

[sexybooty]

Poorboy,

I think in order to truly understand what dogman means you need to read the book 9 1/2 weeks. He originally only suggested you take 9 1/2 Weeks as an educational experience.

"The story of the New York career woman who experienced and wrote about the incredible nine and a half weeks that began with a casual encounter at a Manhattan street fair, and ended in a terrifying climax of bondage, humiliation and ecstasy. It is an experience she has never fully recovered; and which she claims, she does not regret."

In 9 1/2 weeks the woman finds pain exciting. When the man she loved was inflicting the pain "the difference between pleasure and pain became obscured...always eventually leading to orgasm."

The woman gave herself unconditionally, and became a willing slave...therefore, I don't think the situation would be considered abuse...although it may have gotten out of hand/a little too much too handle towards the end.

I think dogman was more or less telling you to look at the erotic aspects, and the way Mickey Rourke takes control of everything, to the point Kim Bassinger desires him intensely.

Anyway, when dealing with an SP, she probably wants to see you again because you are paying her, and if you were nice on top of that why wouldn't she be excited? An SP could also be faking excitement, so don't assume it's so genuine. But girls in the real world have no reason to respond the same way. Things aren't always as clear as they should be in the real world.

 

[pineappleguy]

"too nice" means too boring/submissive.

 

[twobigo]

there is always this debate about too nice , nice guys, bad boys. for god,s sakes if your the proverbial nice guy then seek out someone that likes nice guys[they are out there] Be true to your own nature or you will be just another phoney and a fake poseur.when i was in my 20s i guess i was a bad boy,treating women like disposable razor blades, saying and doing anything to get laid..exciting but ultimately unfulfilling. Now i,m in my 50,s and i don,t give a shit if im perceived as too nice or a nice guy.I,m me and that,s it..just my two cents.

 

[BillTobrami]

Don't feel that bad. I was dating an airline attendant in Atlanta that broke it off with me because she said I was not dominating enough between the sheets. And my first wife broke it off with me because she said I was too dominating.

So I learn from my first wife, then I try to compromise and I stick it to myself. WOMEN! Go figure.

 

[dudelove]

Personally, nice guys is a polite way to say you sucks.

Meaning you don't give her enough challenge, too easy to get.....boring....boring....boring

Or put it bluntly, if she is looking for somebody "nice", why doesn't she get a puppy like a golden retriever, or a kitten?

For those girls, "Nice" guy doesn't cut it. He could be very nice in person but he could also be a dud on the bed or in person.

 

[TheNiteHwk]

Misconception...

He could be very nice in person but he could also be a dud on the bed or in person.

I have suffered from this same misconception. I must admit... in fact just like some (ok maybe a lot) of ladies are attracted to the bad boy type... I am often attracted to the bad girl type. One reason is I think or feel the 'nice girl' won't want to have sex or it will be to plain Jane sex. Guess what? I got proven wrong a couple of times. Also ... I may be nice guy... and not to brag or anything... but I am not no 'dud' in bed.

Anyone remember Jekyll and Hyde?

 

[drvodkarocks]

hey poorboy,

I think "you're too nice" is just her way of saying I want anal sex ;-)... lol

 

[dudelove]

That's why I would rather seeing SPs than "civilian" women. Everything are stacked against "nice" guys.

I can get a better deal on SPs, you get what you pay for and the SPs usually don't try to hurt your ego in your face. At least they act well, making you feel like somebody deserved to get respect.

With "civilian" women, treating them nice get nada. Maybe if you treat them like nobody will get better response. This is particularly true to those hottie/boss pet/universities co-eds, groups they know they are hot commodities. For them guys treat them like the "nice" guys do is an entitlement. It doesn't matter whether those hotties treat the "nice" guys like shits, there will be no shortages of "nice" guys giving a try.

Unless we get more girls than boys (not a chance in my generation), or the "civilian" women are getting "mature" (say early to mid-30s), still singles or you have tonnes of dough, otherwise "nice" guys always come last, let alone score big time on chicks.

Keep dreaming!!

BTW TheNiteHwk, you are very lucky. Good for you!

 

[jwmorrice]

The Tao of Steve

Now, when you have her attention. IGNORE HER. It drives women nuts when you are no longer interested in them

Later
Tom

Reminds me of the movie, The Tao of Steve. In particular, this bit of dialogue:
__________________________

Dex: Look at me. Look at me, okay? Technically, I shouldn't be getting laid, but I do. And do you know why, Dave? Because when I'm hanging out with a woman, that's all I'm doing is hanging out, talking, listening. I'm not sitting there thinking about how to get in bed with her. And this completely confuses them because they're saying "Wait a minute. I'm so much better looking than this guy. Isn't he attracted to me?" The basic principle: We pursue that which retreats from us.
Rick: It's from Heidegger.
_____________________________

A great little film and some nice advice.

jwm

 

[BigBlack]

After putting on the 30# of muscle mass, develop a sense of humor..make her laugh.

Now, when you have her attention. IGNORE HER. It drives women nuts when you are no longer interested in them

Later
Tom

I followed this exact routine upon entering university. It drives some of the hot girls nuts when they don't get the attention they are used to. I don't fully ignore them, but give others more attention ( many hot girls get so much attention they might not care or notice..especially if they are in a good relationship.or you're just not their type...but it does increase your chances). Girls and guys both have one thing in common, we want what we can't have.


too nice= she can't imagine having sex with you
= you don't turn her on at all
= she would rather have sex with a cucumber
= her pussy is drier than the sands of a desert
= you aren't too nice but possess negative qualities, she was letting you down easy.

Take it the postive way. If you don't fire you up and still want her then evolve yourself to the point where you do fire her up (get in great shape, learn conversation, learn common interests...do what needs to be done.....then ditch her for a hotter girl.

BBLACK

 

[delicia]

Baby it means you have no backbone and a man without a backbone is not sexy. Women want a man who can stand their ground and fight for us if necessary. Women are suposed to be the softer sex. You lost and you will never get laid with a girl who calls you a nice guy.

 

[theslayer6237]

Honestly...

My longest relationship (3 years) ended when my girlfriend broke up with me with, "You're too nice." It was true. I always let her get her way. We never had a fight. I wasn't normal.

I've thought about this for years. The truth is, I wasn't honest. Maybe part of it is that women are attracted to the bad boy. But I'm convinced part of it is that they just want someone to be honest with them. I'm not an enlightened being yet, so there is no way I can always be nice. She saw right through me. I was a liar.

We got it all wrong: their emphasis isn't on the word "nice" (as in, "You're too NICE"). Instead, I think they mean, "You're TOO nice".

 

[twobigo]

Mr Slayer..you hit the nail right on the head!

 

[The Baroness]

It means your giving her too much money

stop it

No such thing...dont stop it

 

[letsgoletsgo]

I think I've successfully made the transition from nice guy to not-so-nice guy.

I think the key is to put yourself before the women for some things. Like that wallet thing, I wouldn't have put in the effort, personally (or maybe that's cuz I'm lazy).

I used to be very generous/accomodating/wuss-ass.. not any more. Good ol' selfishness put *just* enough of the devil in me to be more appealing to the opposite sex.

Look out for number one, and he'll look out for you.
<added>
just looking back, I think being stubborn, strong-willed, completely confident in what you're doing/saying also helps. I'm not sure if you can learn to be stubborn though... either way that all stems from the first point... it's all about YOU..

The saying is YOU da man... not HER da man.