Is it possible for a provider to develop feelings for a client?

[lunaseraphim]

If a client sees a provider too much, you have to be careful, as the SP will start taking you for granted. She knows you're a regular, and "aren't going anywhere,"

Once again I don't want to argue with you, but the opposite happens too. Actually regulars do leave, and they know we count on regulars specifically to make money.. A lot of regulars start expecting more and more from you, more time outside of bookings, sometimes they ask for discounts or special packages, they will message you outside of bookings, etc. There are many many providers in Montreal and in Toronto. Ideally regulars will stay because they feel like they are getting something special with you, that they can't get with someone else.. But we are very aware of being replaceable, and it can create weird power dynamics.

Same rates, but I guess my mileage varied with her.
To tie it into this thread, yes it is possible for providers to develop feelings, but RARELY is the case. The providers' job is to make you feel special but that's as far as it goes. In my case, I felt special until I came on this board. Now I'm taking my ball and going to another court!

I agree it's our job to make the client feel special and to build connections with them. This is kinda weird that she never offered you these services but started offering them to others.. It is possible that the mileage varied with many clients, and she felt pressured to offer these services with new clients because she feared that she was losing business. I wouldn't call that manipulative, but it's not exactly a smart move because obviously people will find out.. I understand why this didn't make you feel good, too. I'm sorry.

The interpersonal dynamics are what they are and the combo of any 2 people is it's own unique thing. But to go back to the original question, the answer is yes - It does happen that providers can develop feelings. But on the other hand, as we've read these tales told in this thread, sometimes being kind and warm to a client gets misinterpreted. And sometimes it gets exploited. And sometimes the client will leverage things, which is a form of coercion, and coercion nullifies the idea that's its genuine. But the advice in my signature stands - take that advice as a client and enjoy the ride. There are few things on this earth as enjoyable as this with the right ladies.

This is exactly my point, in my experience, sometimes clients want to believe in this fantasy so badly that they will push this narrative onto you and exploit it. Many of us actually fear losing our clients and not having business. I know that for me, it takes a really long time until I will fire a client.. I give many chances. I often find out that my regulars have lied to me to manipulate me or make me feel some type of way, I often feel like they are pressuring me to expand our connection outside of bookings and give them free time. One client made me feel bad for not instantly responding to his multiple emails by telling me I am the only provider he sees, but I knew he was lying lol. Another client didn't want me to know that he saw some of my colleagues, for some reason, and pretended he was having his first duo with me when I found out later that it wasn't the case. Weird.

They don't necessarily have negative intentions, but I think the fact that this is a service that involves tenderness and intimacy can make the client feel like lines are blurred, even if they're not.. Sometimes even if I give several reminders and break the fourth wall often, they still hold on to this idea. I don't know if I mentioned this, but I had a client that I saw every 2 months for one or two years.. He kept telling me he felt like we had a special connection, because he liked our conversations. He was a really mild manner and soft spoken guy but I always felt like there was something weird about him. He became comfortable and started taking longer and longer to leave even if I'd get up and put my clothes on.. Once the time was up he'd hop in the shower and stay there for 20 whole minutes, then he would try to hold me hostage and stand by the door and talk to me for a long time. He often ended up taking 30-40 extra minutes of my time.

Just giving these examples to illustrate my point that we are not all these manipulative temptresses who hate our clients and will take everything from them callously. Sometimes it's actually the other way around. Some clients will make a point of telling you that they get certain things from other providers.. like free dates and discounts, or gifts even. One guy had the nerve to take hours of my time discussing the booking with me, told me it was his first time with a provider in Quebec and he only saw someone in France during his vacation. I kept telling him that he was being inappropriate by bringing up weird fantasies. A learning experience. In person he ''punished me'' for telling him that I had a hard time with the way he was communicating during the booking process.. He purposely stuck his tongue down my throat in a really unpleasant way, and after the service he started talking to me about other colleagues, including someone he ''had a really bad time with, and he was glad I wasn't like her''??? Then he mentioned someone else, and said ''she truly loves sex and was the best experience I ever had, I could tell she wasn't faking. you on the other had, I'm not sure! You have to prove me that it's worth booking you a second time''...

 

[MatureMan]

Once again I don't want to argue with you, but the opposite happens too. Actually regulars do leave, and they know we count on regulars specifically to make money.. A lot of regulars start expecting more and more from you, more time outside of bookings, sometimes they ask for discounts or special packages, they will message you outside of bookings, etc. There are many many providers in Montreal and in Toronto. Ideally regulars will stay because they feel like they are getting something special with you, that they can't get with someone else.. But we are very aware of being replaceable, and it can create weird power dynamics.



I agree it's our job to make the client feel special and to build connections with them. This is kinda weird that she never offered you these services but started offering them to others.. It is possible that the mileage varied with many clients, and she felt pressured to offer these services with new clients because she feared that she was losing business. I wouldn't call that manipulative, but it's not exactly a smart move because obviously people will find out.. I understand why this didn't make you feel good, too. I'm sorry.



This is exactly my point, in my experience, sometimes clients want to believe in this fantasy so badly that they will push this narrative onto you and exploit it. Many of us actually fear losing our clients and not having business. I know that for me, it takes a really long time until I will fire a client.. I give many chances. I often find out that my regulars have lied to me to manipulate me or make me feel some type of way, I often feel like they are pressuring me to expand our connection outside of bookings and give them free time. One client made me feel bad for not instantly responding to his multiple emails by telling me I am the only provider he sees, but I knew he was lying lol. Another client didn't want me to know that he saw some of my colleagues, for some reason, and pretended he was having his first duo with me when I found out later that it wasn't the case. Weird.

They don't necessarily have negative intentions, but I think the fact that this is a service that involves tenderness and intimacy can make the client feel like lines are blurred, even if they're not.. Sometimes even if I give several reminders and break the fourth wall often, they still hold on to this idea. I don't know if I mentioned this, but I had a client that I saw every 2 months for one or two years.. He kept telling me he felt like we had a special connection, because he liked our conversations. He was a really mild manner and soft spoken guy but I always felt like there was something weird about him. He became comfortable and started taking longer and longer to leave even if I'd get up and put my clothes on.. Once the time was up he'd hop in the shower and stay there for 20 whole minutes, then he would try to hold me hostage and stand by the door and talk to me for a long time. He often ended up taking 30-40 extra minutes of my time.

Just giving these examples to illustrate my point that we are not all these manipulative temptresses who hate our clients and will take everything from them callously. Sometimes it's actually the other way around. Some clients will make a point of telling you that they get certain things from other providers.. like free dates and discounts, or gifts even. One guy had the nerve to take hours of my time discussing the booking with me, told me it was his first time with a provider in Quebec and he only saw someone in France during his vacation. I kept telling him that he was being inappropriate by bringing up weird fantasies. A learning experience. In person he ''punished me'' for telling him that I had a hard time with the way he was communicating during the booking process.. He purposely stuck his tongue down my throat in a really unpleasant way, and after the service he started talking to me about other colleagues, including someone he ''had a really bad time with, and he was glad I wasn't like her''??? Then he mentioned someone else, and said ''she truly loves sex and was the best experience I ever had, I could tell she wasn't faking. you on the other had, I'm not sure! You have to prove me that it's worth booking you

I think you girls deserve medals for dealing with so many boundary crossing douchebags. These encounters seam like psychological minefields. Being vocal about your boundaries is the key , but doing it in a subtle and even comical lite way is the key. I think that the girl actually has all the power when it comes to regulars. Most guys develop little obsessions and are actually lazy and actually quite weak when it comes to a girl they see regularly. Just my two cents.

 

[Ray Pickles]

The bigger your wallet.
The bigger their heart.

I'm a poet and don't know it.

 

[xmontrealer]

The bigger your wallet.
The bigger their heart.

I'm a poet and don't know it.

Look at your feet.
They're longfellows!

(a very old joke, I know...}

 

[BennyhillTO]

Mind you she started off with dfk/bbbj when I first started seeing her. Then used COVID as an excuse to dial it back, and I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

I had a similar situation happen recently. Certain services weren't offered anymore but others still received. My time slot was given away for longer sessions which I had every week for years and it was a mutli hour every week plus the FMYY and overnights. The final nail in the coffin for me she told me she couldn't do my day because someone wanted an overnight and it was pretty much to bad. I felt unappreciated and she was getting to comfortable, felt that she figured I would come back no matter what. All this in a span of a few months. I know it' hasn't been busy for her but I figured I'll look for someone else that would like $1200 weekly and did. She messaged me recently and I haven't responded or plan too.

It was a fun 10 years and for a few weeks afterward I wondered what happened.

 

[Y_Diner]

Wow this is still going online lol.
Some delusional simps and those to carry their “dreams”.
”$$$$, it’s a gas”

 

[Daddy2021]

Same rates, but I guess my mileage varied with her.
To tie it into this thread, yes it is possible for providers to develop feelings, but RARELY is the case. The providers' job is to make you feel special but that's as far as it goes. In my case, I felt special until I came on this board. Now I'm taking my ball and going to another court!

She had every right to provide whatever services she felt comfortable offering to whoever she wanted to offer them to. Maybe there was an ick factor with you. An sp doesn’t owe us anything other than the time we

Folks were getting dfk/bbbj as per reviews and PM convos, while I never did, despite my requests over the years

There must have been an ick factor as to why you didn’t get those services.

 

[lunaseraphim]

I think you girls deserve medals for dealing with so many boundary crossing douchebags. These encounters seam like psychological minefields. Being vocal about your boundaries is the key , but doing it in a subtle and even comical lite way is the key. I think that the girl actually has all the power when it comes to regulars. Most guys develop little obsessions and are actually lazy and actually quite weak when it comes to a girl they see regularly. Just my two cents.

That's what I think, too. So many guys victimize themselves. Sometimes you need to look at your role in a certain dynamic.. Providers have the choice to keep seeing their regulars or not. This whole thing is about consent, and it's possible for a provider to decide that her relationship with a client isn't working for her anymore. I understand that it's hurtful, and I myself feel sad when clients stop seeing me.. but personally when I have decided to not see a client again, there was a very good reason for it. I usually try to discuss things with him beforehand, because sometimes there are misunderstandings and nobody is perfect.. But I think that if a provider has the ability to choose her clients, why would she force herself to keep seeing someone that she doesn't feel comfortable around anymore? As a client would you prefer if the provider just keeps seeing you even if she really doesn't like her time with you? Sometimes it's just not a good match, and it's nobody's fault. There are clients I really like, that other providers don't feel comfortable with, and vice versa.

She had every right to provide whatever services she felt comfortable offering to whoever she wanted to offer them to. Maybe there was an ick factor with you. An sp doesn’t owe us anything other than the time we
There must have been an ick factor as to why you didn’t get those services.

Thank you for saying this. I personally don't refuse any of my clients services that are announced, but I believe providers should be able to decide if they give all their clients the same services or not. I think if a provider doesn't feel comfortable giving a client certain services but does it with others, there is a reason for it. Providers can also decide that to maintain their energy levels they prefer to prioritize fewer longer bookings over multiple short bookings in a week.. There will be another provider who will gladly book you and offer these services to you, as long as you have good hygiene and you are respectful. Sometimes it's time to move on and understand that this client-provider relationship has run it's course.

 

[Daddy2021]

That's what I think, too. So many guys victimize themselves. Sometimes you need to look at your role in a certain dynamic.. Providers have the choice to keep seeing their regulars or not. This whole thing is about consent, and it's possible for a provider to decide that her relationship with a client isn't working for her anymore. I understand that it's hurtful, and I myself feel sad when clients stop seeing me.. but personally when I have decided to not see a client again, there was a very good reason for it. I usually try to discuss things with him beforehand, because sometimes there are misunderstandings and nobody is perfect.. But I think that if a provider has the ability to choose her clients, why would she force herself to keep seeing someone that she doesn't feel comfortable around anymore? As a client would you prefer if the provider just keeps seeing you even if she really doesn't like her time with you? Sometimes it's just not a good match. There are clients I really like, that other providers don't feel comfortable with, and vice versa.



Thank you for saying this. I personally don't refuse any of my clients services that are announced, but I believe providers should be able to decide if they give all their clients the same services or not. I think if a provider doesn't feel comfortable giving a client certain services but does it with others, there is a reason for it. Providers can also decide that to maintain their energy levels they prefer to prioritize fewer longer bookings over multiple short bookings in a week.. There will be another provider who will gladly book you and offer these services to you, as long as you have good hygiene and you are respectful. Sometimes it's time to move on and understand that this client-provider relationship has run it's course.

I personally wouldn’t care of my regular sp took a longer booking over me. She’s doing this job to make money. To think I have domain over how she makes her money regardless of how long I have been booking her is rediculous. I would say get that bag girl! I’ll see you next week. But then again I’m not as entitled as many seem to be on here.

 

[BennyhillTO]

I personally wouldn’t care of my regular sp took a longer booking over me. She’s doing this job to make money. To think I have domain over how she makes her money regardless of how long I have been booking her is rediculous. I would say get that bag girl! I’ll see you next week. But then again I’m not as entitled as many seem to be on here.

Normally I wouldn't care but for me it was the way she went about it. Also she was out of town in the summer and I decided to make the road trip and pre-booked 6 weeks in advance and she did a similar thing to me. It's not about entitlement it's about respect

 

[lunaseraphim]

I personally wouldn’t care of my regular sp took a longer booking over me. She’s doing this job to make money. To think I have domain over how she makes her money regardless of how long I have been booking her is rediculous. I would say get that bag girl! I’ll see you next week. But then again I’m not as entitled as many seem to be on here.

I think it's reasonable to feel hurt if a regular took a longer booking over yours.. But if you try to change your perspective, it's understandable, because this is a lot of work and a long booking could potentially provide enough money for the girl to take a few days off and breathe.. I definitely don't think it's smart of the provider to tell her client that she cancelled him in favor of someone else, and it kinda shows callousness or exasperation. but in a way I kinda understand. Sometimes I have multiple hour long bookings in a week, I have to go to my incall, get the space ready then clean up and go home or wait for another client.. A one hour booking could take up my whole afternoon in that sense. I prefer a week of fewer longer bookings, because then I can take a bit of time off and relax at home or see friends or clean..

Ultimately this thread does show entitlement and resentment and I think people don't understand that really often it's not the provider that is purposely causing clients to fall in love with them, it's their own delusional mindset. It's not called ''girlfriend experience'' for nothing. We get paid to spend time with men and accompany them through fun moments.. If a client can't understand that it's actually our job to build connections and confuses someone doing her job well with ''blurring lines'', it's on him. I think this idea that all of our clients are these pathetic socially awkward guys who will do anything to keep us around like giving us gifts and throwing money at us is ridiculous and false. Our clients are not victims.

Normally I wouldn't care but for me it was the way she went about it. Also she was out of town in the summer and I decided to make the road trip and pre-booked 6 weeks in advance and she did a similar thing to me. It's not about entitlement it's about respect

If you made the trip I understand 100% why you'd feel upset and yes there is disrespect in that choice, absolutely. But it makes a huge difference that she knew you were making a trip to come see her..

 

[BennyhillTO]

I think it's reasonable to feel hurt if a regular took a longer booking over yours.. But if you try to change your perspective, it's understandable, because this is a lot of work and a long booking could potentially provide enough money for the girl to take a few days off and breathe.. I definitely don't think it's smart of the provider to tell her client that she cancelled him in favor of someone else, and it kinda shows callousness or exasperation. but in a way I kinda understand. Sometimes I have multiple hour long bookings in a week, I have to go to my incall, get the space ready then clean up and go home or wait for another client.. A one hour booking could take up my whole afternoon in that sense. I prefer a week of fewer longer bookings, because then I can take a bit of time off and relax at home or see friends or clean..

Ultimately this thread does show entitlement and resentment and I think people don't understand that really often it's not the provider that is purposely causing clients to fall in love with them, it's their own delusional mindset. It's not called ''girlfriend experience'' for nothing. We get paid to spend time with men and accompany them through fun moments.. If a client can't understand that it's actually our job to build connections and confuses someone doing her job well with ''blurring lines'', it's on him. I think this idea that all of our clients are these pathetic socially awkward guys who will do anything to keep us around like giving us gifts and throwing money at us is ridiculous and false. Our clients are not victims.



If you made the trip I understand 100% why you'd feel upset and yes there is disrespect in that choice, absolutely. But it makes a huge difference that she knew you were making a trip to come see her..

When I have cancelled on her last min I always paid for the session in full. Anyway I wish her all the best.

I like your perspective on things. We should meet one day and I love your selfies pics thread.

 

[lunaseraphim]

When I have cancelled on her last min I always paid for the session in full. Anyway I wish her all the best.

I like your perspective on things. We should meet one day and I love your selfies pics thread.

Thank you for your compliment.
I think I understand your side of things a bit more, now. I just think it's upsetting to see other people here talk about providers in such a negative way..

 

[Daddy2021]

Normally I wouldn't care but for me it was the way she went about it. Also she was out of town in the summer and I decided to make the road trip and pre-booked 6 weeks in advance and she did a similar thing to me. It's not about entitlement it's about respect

Well I can understand being annoyed in those particular circumstances.

 

[HolaMiAmor]

She had every right to provide whatever services she felt comfortable offering to whoever she wanted to offer them to. Maybe there was an ick factor with you. An sp doesn’t owe us anything other than the time we
There must have been an ick factor as to why you didn’t get those services.

No chance it was my hygiene, I'm well groomed and take care of myself. I asked her why and she doubled down on the excuses by throwing the credibility of TERBers under the bus. Which is funny, considering she's active on this site.

Yes, they doesn't owe us anything. But you'd think there'd be some honesty/mutual respect (human element) for the 10 years of giving her business. At least so I could improve going forward with other providers.

 

[Daddy2021]

No chance it was my hygiene, I'm well groomed and take care of myself. I asked her why and she doubled down on the excuses by throwing the credibility of TERBers under the bus. Which is funny, considering she's active on this site.

Yes, they doesn't owe us anything. But you'd think there'd be some honesty/mutual respect (human element) for the 10 years of giving her business. At least so I could improve going forward with other providers.

Doesn’t always have to be about hygiene mate. Could be something else. But that’s the problem with a board like this. Sps have very little privacy when it comes to services. What is offered to one doesn’t mean they are comfortable offering to another. We all know that by now. You clearly kept seeing her without said services and for a decade. Perhaps she isn’t comfortable giving these services at all but felt she had to and was grateful when she saw you that it wasn’t a must. You never know. Instead of going down the ‘she’s dishonest route maybe just go in with thinking each experience isn’t always about a checklist and more of the experience in itself which you clearly enjoyed.

 

[rockinglad]

Doesn’t always have to be about hygiene mate. Could be something else. But that’s the problem with a board like this. Sps have very little privacy when it comes to services. What is offered to one doesn’t mean they are comfortable offering to another. We all know that by now. You clearly kept seeing her without said services and for a decade. Perhaps she isn’t comfortable giving these services at all but felt she had to and was grateful when she saw you that it wasn’t a must. You never know. Instead of going down the ‘she’s dishonest route maybe just go in with thinking each experience isn’t always about a checklist and more of the experience in itself which you clearly enjoyed.

Yeah, I know an SP who was pressured into giving a certain service, word spread like wildfire and everyone was expecting it - which greatly impacted her mental health and the way that she went about providing services (a lot more restricted). Stop ruining it for the rest of us by souring their experiences by blabbing.

 

[HolaMiAmor]

Doesn’t always have to be about hygiene mate. Could be something else. But that’s the problem with a board like this. Sps have very little privacy when it comes to services. What is offered to one doesn’t mean they are comfortable offering to another. We all know that by now. You clearly kept seeing her without said services and for a decade. Perhaps she isn’t comfortable giving these services at all but felt she had to and was grateful when she saw you that it wasn’t a must. You never know. Instead of going down the ‘she’s dishonest route maybe just go in with thinking each experience isn’t always about a checklist and more of the experience in itself which you clearly enjoyed.

I strongly disagree, her actions have eroded my trust in her and just doesn't make sense from a business perspective. Why would I continue to see someone where my mileage doesn't get far? This is a free market, my money my rules.
The board is meant for transparency, which is why we're all on here (herself included). So if by "blabbing" you mean leaving reviews, may God help you.

 

[lunaseraphim]

Yeah, I know an SP who was pressured into giving a certain service, word spread like wildfire and everyone was expecting it - which greatly impacted her mental health and the way that she went about providing services (a lot more restricted). Stop ruining it for the rest of us by souring their experiences by blabbing.

That happened to me and many providers I know. I have been pressured to offer a service before and it was written in a review, that person was maybe my first client as an Indy, he low balled me and manipulated me. I've had clients try many many times to manipulate me into giving services I don't offer. Sometimes clients don't respect consent and boundaries and then they go talk about it on a board. Others don't understand it wasn't consensual.

I strongly disagree, her actions have eroded my trust in her and just doesn't make sense from a business perspective. Why would I continue to see someone where my mileage doesn't get far? This is a free market, my money my rules.
The board is meant for transparency, which is why we're all on here (herself included). So if by "blabbing" you mean leaving reviews, may God help you.

Eh no it's not your money your rules. If you're not happy with someone's service you should go see somebody else.

And reviews are often used against providers or for bragging in a lot of ways. They're used to hurt us or boost the clients ego sometimes.

I'm lucky to have positive reviews mostly, but even in my reviews compromising info is revealed and it's dangerous. I understand how reviews help clients make a better choice but you have to understand that they are not fully objective and that sometimes people are lying or stretching the truth.

I think it's important to take reviews with a grain of salt. I've also seen ppl gang up on providers with reviews just for the hell of it.

 

[Daddy2021]

I strongly disagree, her actions have eroded my trust in her and just doesn't make sense from a business perspective. Why would I continue to see someone where my mileage doesn't get far? This is a free market, my money my rules.
The board is meant for transparency, which is why we're all on here (herself included). So if by "blabbing" you mean leaving reviews, may God help you.

God help me? That’s a little dramatic lol reviews are one thing but details like some leave are a bit much. Reviews should be short and sweet. Not play by play of even breathing or right down to a hair that’s out of place. Saying if services agreed upon between the two are provided or not or if it’s a scam or not should be enough. These dear penthouse novels can be damaging and are rediculous.