I'm in a sexless marriage, should I take the pliunge and start seeing escorts?

[james t kirk]

I think we're preaching to the choir, or someone writing a piece on men who utilize call girls because the OP has vanished, has not added anything, and only signed up to post this thread.

I'm starting to smell a rat.

 

[ready2rock]

I think we're preaching to the choir, or someone writing a piece on men who utilize call girls because the OP has vanished, has not added anything, and only signed up to post this thread.

I'm starting to smell a rat.

James T, I was just thinking the same thing. Sammy posts a topic and has not contributed commentary to what is now a 5 page discussion. Hmmmmmmm. Hmmmmmmmm indeed.

R2R

 

[Never Compromised]

you sir, are a jackass.

I'm single. I've had 3 or 4 women in my life that wanted to get married, but either I was not ready or they were not a good fit for me. This does not make me a loner craving the attention of someone else's family experience. I have cousins and siblings that invite me to Christmas and I can chose to go or not go, depending upon my mood. No one invites me out of pity.

I did not move out of my parent's basement. I left home to go to university in a city over 200 KM away, and never returned to my hometown, let alone my parents.

I did not fuck up.

I suggest that you have issues with the type of "friends" you look for. I also get the feeling that you have issues of your own that you need to confront.

 

[randygirl]

It makes it 10 times harder if kids are involved. My own parents stayed together for many years after it was clear it wasn't working anymore, for fear of upsetting us. Kids are pretty aware of what's going on, and when my parents finally did divorce the main thing I felt was relief.

I agree. If you are staying together for the children, you are essentially showing them the "how to" of unhealthy relationships. No matter what face the parents put on, the children are perceptive beyond belief and will smell it out for what it really is.

Don't think you are doing your kids a big favor by staying in a loveless marriage. You might be doing more damage than you think, even though that was not your true intention.

 

[Brill]

It isn't a loveless marriage, he says he loves his wife in the original post but there isn't any sex.

Too bad he isn't responding to his thread though, maybe he was just looking for permission to get laid. To tell the truth, I'd be more interested in his wife's viewpoint.

 

[luckyjackson]

you sir, are a jackass.

Who are you calling a jackass? Nevermind. Anyone who slings an insult like that and then proceeds to explain how his own life decisions were so much better....let's just hope those 3 or 4 women realize what a close call they had.

 

[FOOTSNIFFER]

Thank you....

Guys quit buying this garbage they feed you. Fact of the matter is they dont fuck you because they dont want to and they dont care about what you think or what you feel.

I'm afraid that I've found that in general, most women don't really care all that much what men feel. They care about how we make them feel. That's just how it is. That's what getting a dog is all about....dogs love you no matter what.

 

[PeeWe]

Just do it We all do!

 

[sammy_smith]

Hi everybody - Thanks for all the replies. Work has been mental over the last couple of weeks. I'm really grateful for all the input. I posted on this site because I figured there might be guys on here in my situation. Guys who had made the decision I'm facing and now have a perspective on it. I'm impressed with how balanced the input has been. And I appreciate people recommending that I think about this decision seriously. My wife and I have been in counselling for about three months. Our relationship is improving. I pushed for the counselling. Things have only gotten strained since the second baby. We've been together for 10 years. Sex was fantastic for the first two years, then it reduced in frequency considerably (once a week, not as much as I'd want but I adapted) to what it is now - which is basically special occasions. I really don't see my wife adjusting to better accomodate my needs. She just can't fathom how much I want it. She is not depressed - Interestingly, I'm the one with depression. I've had three major bouts of depression and I now take a pretty serious dose of antidepressants. It runs in my family so its just how I'm wired. My life is good and I have no reason not to be happy (if I could just have more sex) Another question was about whether I've been faithful. The answer is yes with one exception. About a year ago, I got really drunk at the company christmas party and slept with my executive asistant. She's young and attractice. She was totally cool with it the next time I saw her - we agreed it was a mistake and would never happen again. I loved the sex and I felt great afterwards. I felt some but not a lot of guilt because I don't get any at home. When you aren't having sex, its emascualting and my confidence got a major boost after my triste.

Based on all the input, I think I'm going to wait it out a little longer ... see how the couples therapy goes. My wife and I do love each other. If things don't improvie, I like ClassAct's suggestion about asking her permission. I think she would throw a kitchen utensil ... I'll let you guys know how it goes. Thanks again for all the input.

 

[Asterix]

I think she would throw a kitchen utensil ... I'll let you guys know how it goes. Thanks again for all the input.

No, she is going to throw a cast iron frying pan, assuming you have one. First thing to get through your mind. She is not going to be interested in sex any more than she is now, if anything maybe less. Second thing is which is most important. Sex or being married.

 

[theycallmebruce]

Sammy, you sound like a decent guy. If more sex is what you want, I am afraid that wifey is not gonna be the one giving it to you. Just bite the bullet and go do what makes you happy.
bruce

 

[out4fun]

I'd skip the "permission" part and find sex elsewhere. It doesn't mean you need to dissolve your marriage, as it seems like most elements of your relationship are working. You don't have to be sexless, just because your wife choses too. Get it elsewhere and don't harbour any resentment toward her for being sexually incompatible.

 

[james t kirk]

I'd skip the "permission" part and find sex elsewhere. It doesn't mean you need to dissolve your marriage, as it seems like most elements of your relationship are working. You don't have to be sexless, just because your wife choses too. Get it elsewhere and don't harbour any resentment toward her for being sexually incompatible.

I agree with this.

I find it amazing that women think that because THEY don't want sex, the man should be able to shut it off too.

 

[evilbaga]

Women always have had a lower sex drive than men. But marriage is to a woman's benefit as she gets access to the resources of her husband.

Stripped of all romance, it is her JOB to have sex with you. She has no more 'right' to leave you high and dry than you have to not go to work the next day because you do not feel like it.

You are being played. But in these matriarchal feminist times, whats a guy to do?

May as well go see an escort.

 

[VikkiBlue]

I have found personally for me, that the service I provide KEEPS marriages together rather than the gentleman having an affair with a co-worker, neighbour, fellow gym member etc.

This way...he can love his partner that he has committed to freely and not feel resentment because of something as simple as sex. Intimacy is something different.

At the very least a cuddle and a kiss has to be there or are you in a marriage or just a friendship that beats you being alone.

 

[Alexxx99]

It's impossible for me to relate to this, but from friends I have gotten the sense it comes down to how you view sex.

Can you differentiate between fucking & making love?

If you can, and your goal with an escort is to fuck, then you should, in theory, feel no guilt at all, with several friends getting escorts while on a drinking binge and these guys being married or in long term relationships, I'd say you're more likely to look back on it as a blur than some unforgettable sin.

 

[King Midas]

I have found personally for me, that the service I provide KEEPS marriages together rather than the gentleman having an affair with a co-worker, neighbour, fellow gym member etc.

This way...he can love his partner that he has committed to freely and not feel resentment because of something as simple as sex. Intimacy is something different.

At the very least a cuddle and a kiss has to be there or are you in a marriage or just a friendship that beats you being alone.

Marriage isn't just two people sharing a bed and an address, dear.

If you're fucking someone's husband you aren't keeping their marriage together, I assure you. You are simply prolonging the inevitable.

 

[Brill]

I have found personally for me, that the service I provide KEEPS marriages together rather than the gentleman having an affair with a co-worker, neighbour, fellow gym member etc.

I doubt many wives would agree but a few might.
If she finds out, won't she be just as humiliated or angry if it was a prostitute rather than a woman at the office?

 

[Fit_Guy]

I'm also hearing this.... "she may be exhausted" line...
and really guys I dont buy it at all....guys in general need to stop buying this garbage thats being fed to us.
Shes tired? so what am I? Gone are the days when a guy can come home from work and put his feet up. You think your average guy could do that these days? Women nowadays wont stand for it. We have to do the same shit they do:
- Work
- Clean
- Cook
- Go to parent teacher meetings
- Take the kid to Hockey at some god forsaken hour
- Help with homework
...and if we are doing less wrk at home its only because we are doing more work at the office...but the hours put in are the same on both ends.
Any of you ever wonder how someone who is so "tired" can make time to do things she wants to do if she really wants to but she cant put aside 20-30 mins for a fun time with her husband? Nobody is asking them to run a marathon.
Guys these days are expected to drop everything they are oing to make the wife happy but they cant do that for us? and then insult the guy's intelligence by giving some lame ass excuse?
Sorry but I refuse to subscribe to that

Good point. Seems like many of my buddies are in the same boat as me. All married about 15 - 20 years and wives think the bed is for sleeping only. God forbide if we try anything -- I don't mean grouping or anything like that but true foreplay.

 

[needinit]

I only started extracurricular activities once I knew it was over with my ex, ie my decision that I would not regret or want out of. The reason to partake was to keep myself happy until we sorted things out.

She had checked out of the marriage, but didn't want to change things as she had is really good...did not work, concentrated on her social life did bare minimum around the house etc...I then goet forceful with her to get on with the divorce.

Worked out so far, I have not met someone else and am happy