I'm in a sexless marriage, should I take the pliunge and start seeing escorts?

[Tokyo Heights]

If your marriage is sexless and your balls are getting blue, then dont wait for anyone, just select any hot girl of any reliable agency and go and bang her and get a relief from un-necessary tension you have built up in your heart and mind, release your urge and have a good sexual experience minimum for 2-hours of banging a hot young chick of your dreams, forget your spouse who is not intrested in sharing her body with you anymore
so dont cry over a split milk you cannot gather a milk once it is spilt all over! Just move on, and plan meeting a new SP every week for sometime to cool you down Enjoy buddy.

 

[red]

Hi everybody - I love my wife but after two kids, she has zero interest in sex. I've tried to get her to realize that sex is important for me with no success. Is this a decision I will regret?

regret. no more than living in a sexless marriage.

 

[massman]

This is a very tough one. Ive been there. Still am. Sex died in my relationship a slow death. I have a very high drive, always have - am horny every day. She early on had a sex drive that fluctuated from nymphomania to frigid. But the good times at first were more frequent than the bad, so I stuck in there and cuz I loved her.

Now a couple decades later I am a demanding inconsiderate pain inthe ass if I want sex when shes tired (ie all the time). Once every six weeks is somehow supposed to satisfy my once a day drive. And if she's not inthe mood its usually my fault (??).

So a while back, almost 10y ago now I started in this "hobby". All in all it has probably resulted me staying inthis marriage, knowing I had an outlet. I am careful and hobby infrequently. I have had some good experiences. I do have a lot of regret, guilt and bitterness though. Keep in mind the following.

1. If your sexual needs are not important enough to make an effort, what about your other needs, emotional, financial, future plans etc? Will these be eroded too?
2. Sps are a bandaid solution. They will do a good job at relieving the blue balls, but will do little to the drop in self esteem you wil feel thinking that your spouse is not turned on by you anymore. In fact eventually it is likely that you will become more bitter and say to yourself "why will this stranger girl do amazing tings to me for a small amount of money, while the woman who promised to love me forever not even consider anthing, knowing how imprtant this is to me"
3. The hobby is addictive and WILL take on a life of its own. It is, as others have said too easy. It is like cocaine, with a high that is amazing, but too short lived. I've put strict limits on my own hobbying, but it takes effort to control.
4. While it will allow you to meet your needs and possibly satify that physical urge, its is not a replacement for sex with someone you care about.
5. YOur self esteem may even worsen, as you feel guilt, and see yourself as "a guy who HAS to pay for it"

WHile I have gone through all of this, I still am in it. It allows some kind of warped balance in my life and helps me to get through. I enjoy it, and it would be hard to give up. I think I would if my partner would demonstrate even the slightest committment to improving things in a sustainable way. Should I get out of the relationship - who knows. I have chosen to stay in, for a pile of reasons I wont go into - but they are good ones, and overall the hurt experienced by all parties is probably less if I stay in, where I am the one taking on most of the dissatisfaction. Sps allow me an escape once and a while. I am careful not to get caught and dont take chances.

SOrry to be a bit of a downer on all of this, but as Ive learned, life is not perfect, and we all come up with weird ways to make the best of a situation. Think carefully and your efforts are best spent on trying your best to improve things. Unfortunately it is all too commonly forgot that part of a marriage committment is to look after your partners needs (even most major religions include this), not only to not sleep with anyone else.

 

[sammy_smith]

Massman, thanks for the post. I learned a lot from this group after my original post. I still struggle with my own personal decision.

 

[wazup]

This is a very tough one. Ive been there. Still am. Sex died in my relationship a slow death. I have a very high drive, always have - am horny every day. She early on had a sex drive that fluctuated from nymphomania to frigid. But the good times at first were more frequent than the bad, so I stuck in there and cuz I loved her.

Now a couple decades later I am a demanding inconsiderate pain inthe ass if I want sex when shes tired (ie all the time). Once every six weeks is somehow supposed to satisfy my once a day drive. And if she's not inthe mood its usually my fault (??).

So a while back, almost 10y ago now I started in this "hobby". All in all it has probably resulted me staying inthis marriage, knowing I had an outlet. I am careful and hobby infrequently. I have had some good experiences. I do have a lot of regret, guilt and bitterness though. Keep in mind the following.

1. If your sexual needs are not important enough to make an effort, what about your other needs, emotional, financial, future plans etc? Will these be eroded too?
2. Sps are a bandaid solution. They will do a good job at relieving the blue balls, but will do little to the drop in self esteem you wil feel thinking that your spouse is not turned on by you anymore. In fact eventually it is likely that you will become more bitter and say to yourself "why will this stranger girl do amazing tings to me for a small amount of money, while the woman who promised to love me forever not even consider anthing, knowing how imprtant this is to me"
3. The hobby is addictive and WILL take on a life of its own. It is, as others have said too easy. It is like cocaine, with a high that is amazing, but too short lived. I've put strict limits on my own hobbying, but it takes effort to control.
4. While it will allow you to meet your needs and possibly satify that physical urge, its is not a replacement for sex with someone you care about.
5. YOur self esteem may even worsen, as you feel guilt, and see yourself as "a guy who HAS to pay for it"

WHile I have gone through all of this, I still am in it. It allows some kind of warped balance in my life and helps me to get through. I enjoy it, and it would be hard to give up. I think I would if my partner would demonstrate even the slightest committment to improving things in a sustainable way. Should I get out of the relationship - who knows. I have chosen to stay in, for a pile of reasons I wont go into - but they are good ones, and overall the hurt experienced by all parties is probably less if I stay in, where I am the one taking on most of the dissatisfaction. Sps allow me an escape once and a while. I am careful not to get caught and dont take chances.

SOrry to be a bit of a downer on all of this, but as Ive learned, life is not perfect, and we all come up with weird ways to make the best of a situation. Think carefully and your efforts are best spent on trying your best to improve things. Unfortunately it is all too commonly forgot that part of a marriage committment is to look after your partners needs (even most major religions include this), not only to not sleep with anyone else.

Number 4 is very accurate, I've screwed over 100 women in the last few years on sex vacations, I spent two weeks with one girl and started to like her, the sex was much more enjoyable with her. Most of the time it was one and done and on to the next one, after a while I started to yearn for companionship.

Regular paid sex can make your confidence plummet, as you see girl after girl leave without the least bit of emotion. Maybe being married it's a double whammy because your wife doesn't want to fuck you, and the escorts are just doing it because it's their job (not talking you guys in particular).

I realized in these vacations that too much sex without feelings for someone can eventually be very demoralizing.

 

[friendlysmile]

I'm in a sexless marriage, should I take the pliunge and start seeing escorts?

Hi everybody - I love my wife but after two kids, she has zero interest in sex. I've tried to get her to realize that sex is important for me with no success. Is this a decision I will regret?

In all honesty usually when a woman is not interested in sex with their hubby's usually three causes, "firstly, she feeling depressed, or unsatisfied about something in regards to a relationship, or its a legitimate medical issue."

The reason I say this is because I was in a relationship that ended like this, and this was told to me by some medical and mental professionals. Depression can be seen in many ways, and does come out in many forms. Sexual can be one of them.

As a result I stay out of them...would take a very special kind of woman for me to even consider another one, have I found fuck no......so this is why I say look at everything in your relationship before you step the wrong way.

Also in the area of the medical, age, illness, stress, diabetes, many causes," I do not think a board is a good place to get advice in matter such as this, since no one can see your relationship, and how it works, we have only hear say.

The matrix of every individuals relationship differs from one another, but when ones sexuality is in question men unlike women, begin to doubt, grow angry, frustrated, resentful, and move towards outside entities where they feel they can resolve there problems. As well as regain some emotional self gradification.

Honestly my friend there is no point in hobbying for you, if you honestly love your wife and desire to stand firm in your relationship with. Since you have issue on the plate that need to be resolved such as the question," Why?" She is in this state of low desire for sexual interest.

Ask yourself is your wife on medication, regular use, not varied, if she depressed, feeling stressed, honestly counselling may help, but this is up to you and her....getting advice on a escort board, well not a good first step LOL

As for how your marriage will end is again in both you ball courts....but resolving it through paying for the attention of ladies for sexual gratification. I think you better work on you relationship first, and see if the foundation is solid or going to crumble.

Dimly we look face to face in the mirror - this how we find resolution....who knows the real problem....until the communication and deep feeling talk begins....but chasing muff and releasing a load is not going to fix the problem still at home.

 

[friendlysmile]

Take it from a guy in the business of catching cheating spouses

Glad I am single LOL imfao

 

[radius]

I've been married for thirteen years, and hobbying for twelve. It has been the only way that I could stay married.

My wife an I are still very much in love, to the point where people even often mistake us for newlyweds. We also get along great, have the same goals, and have lots of physical intimacy. There aren't any issues with not having enough time or being too tired, and if I wait for her to initiate, then she bangs the fuck out of me and comes like gangbusters.

The problem is I have to wait three or four months at a time before she needs it again.



Compared to some of you guys, I don't have a particularly high sex drive, probably once or twice a week would be satisfying. But since I don't get any, I think about it all the time, and want sex every day. But if I bring it up in any way (through words, or action) my wife feels like I'm pressuring her. When we do try to have sex more often, she is dry like the Mojave. She basically never thinks about sex until she needs it. If I ask for something other than intercourse (oral, handjob, slide) she feels that I am trying to force her to do "dirty" things.

I've tried straight out abstinence too, but I'm not strong enough to make it work. I started having trouble sleeping because I was too aroused at night. I often became so angry and resentful that my vision would black out for brief periods. I felt incredibly guilty as I snuck around trying to get privacy to masturbate.

The situation was intolerable. But leaving the love of my life would be even worse. I took the only choice I could see.

 

[friendlysmile]

Dimly we look face to face in the mirror - this how we find resolution....who knows the real problem....until the communication and deep feeling talk begins....but chasing muff and releasing a load is not going to fix the problem still at home.

Yep this is the first step