If it hasn't been mentioned already on this very long thread, google "pick up artist" community. It's not a "magic bullet" but whatever your issue is, someone has faced it and written on the subject.
How many of you GAVE UP on dating figuring your just too undesirable to women?
- Thread starter Partyman1970
- Start date
don t worry bars can be difficult try onlime datimg if youamage to exchange a few e mails with a girl, try talking on the phone and of she sounds cool to you ask her on a date. don t worry if you strike out a few times. good luck.
This is bar none the dumbest thread on terb. Sorry to be blunt, I am sure that I may have offended a few of you.
A few observations:
1. There is much more to dating than sex. You develop a friendship on top of the sexual relationship that tends to be far more intimate than with your various guy friends. How you can get through life without that sort of human interaction and remain normal is a mystery to me.
2. "way too ugly, hidiously fat, short" - Certainly these are drawbacks, but they are not relationship showstoppers. You need to find your strengths and play to them: Are you successful? Funny? Active? Women are less concerned about looks than men. Plus, this is mostly under your control!!! "Ugly" - so start dressing stylishly, it can make a big difference. Fat? Get on a diet and get to the gym--this is your own damn life you are flushing down the toilet, I don't understand why this would not become your overriding priority, if it is actually stopping you from having a normal existence. Short--there are lots of short guys who found women.
3. "nationality" - I just don't get this. So some women don't like your nationality. Others will. Maybe of your own nationality? Or just a more open minded? This sounds like BS. I don't believe there is anyone who failed at dating because they were the wrong nationality. Your nationality would go extinct if this were true!!!
What's this really about? If what you are doing isn't working, change something. Online dating not working out? Meet women somewhere else. Go out more. Get invited to more parties. Chat up someone at your work. Take up a sport. Get involved in a community group or hobby (other than this one) and meet women with common interests. If something is really holding you back, then do something about that!
Again, the fundamental point: You get ONE life. It's not like you're going to get a 2nd shot at this. This is it. Your one life. If it's not working out because you are too fat then go on a goddamn diet already.
A few observations:
1. There is much more to dating than sex. You develop a friendship on top of the sexual relationship that tends to be far more intimate than with your various guy friends. How you can get through life without that sort of human interaction and remain normal is a mystery to me.
2. "way too ugly, hidiously fat, short" - Certainly these are drawbacks, but they are not relationship showstoppers. You need to find your strengths and play to them: Are you successful? Funny? Active? Women are less concerned about looks than men. Plus, this is mostly under your control!!! "Ugly" - so start dressing stylishly, it can make a big difference. Fat? Get on a diet and get to the gym--this is your own damn life you are flushing down the toilet, I don't understand why this would not become your overriding priority, if it is actually stopping you from having a normal existence. Short--there are lots of short guys who found women.
3. "nationality" - I just don't get this. So some women don't like your nationality. Others will. Maybe of your own nationality? Or just a more open minded? This sounds like BS. I don't believe there is anyone who failed at dating because they were the wrong nationality. Your nationality would go extinct if this were true!!!
What's this really about? If what you are doing isn't working, change something. Online dating not working out? Meet women somewhere else. Go out more. Get invited to more parties. Chat up someone at your work. Take up a sport. Get involved in a community group or hobby (other than this one) and meet women with common interests. If something is really holding you back, then do something about that!
Again, the fundamental point: You get ONE life. It's not like you're going to get a 2nd shot at this. This is it. Your one life. If it's not working out because you are too fat then go on a goddamn diet already.
if anything this thread is not stupid because it highlights the insecurities and limitations some guys put on themselves. having struggled with dating in the past i feel passionate about this topic.
And not having to spend time taking women for walks and dinners and all that type of thing allows you the freedom and time to come here and tell us how you really do not have time to get a GF but you could easily, very easily.
Your are one funny guy !
I admit that the first time I had sex was with a sex worker for something similar to what you mention. I thought that it was possible that some women might want to date me, but the anxiety I felt in asking one out was so great that it wasn't worth it for me. Since then, I've never been with another sex worker, although I have been tempted. Put simply, I have a very modest income and my mother helps me out by providing me with a fair amount of free food; given these facts, I don't feel justified in spending on this type of thing, as it would amount to being more of a burden on my mother.
This being said, I am definitely a consumer of pornography (the kind that you don't have to pay for), which certainly employs sex workers.
Oh, and "meeting women" is absolutely the wrong focus unless your goal is just hook-up sex, which is really not going to lead to a relationship either, and I think most of the PUA's are full of it anyhow.
You want to be meeting more PEOPLE. Expanding your social circle. Make more friends, guy friends, women who are already taken. The more you expand your social circle, the more events you will be invited to, the more people you will meet. Sooner or later it will just naturally happen that through one of your connections you run into a single woman who is compatible with you. You will just naturally be talking to her anyways when you realize you kind of are interested, THEN worry about how to ask her out.
If you expand your social circles all the things you think are unfair barriers will turn around and work in your favour. Unlike the PUA who is "cold calling" women you'll be introduced to her by a common friend, you'll immediately have topics of conversation (what do you think of your common friend) and probably some mutual interests and other connections. She'll trust you a bit more and the automatic cold-sholder won't be there, and so on.
So forget about "meeting women", just go meet people, and some of them will turn out to be single women, and some of them are just as insecure as you are about meeting people, but that'll be OK, because you met through friends, so it's natural you would talk.
Plus there is no "pressure" making new friends, so you can develop your small talk, and your interests, in non-threatening ways, so that when you do meet that single girl, it's just natural you would tell a few jokes, and ask her to come out to do something, because that's how you treat everybody.
You want to be meeting more PEOPLE. Expanding your social circle. Make more friends, guy friends, women who are already taken. The more you expand your social circle, the more events you will be invited to, the more people you will meet. Sooner or later it will just naturally happen that through one of your connections you run into a single woman who is compatible with you. You will just naturally be talking to her anyways when you realize you kind of are interested, THEN worry about how to ask her out.
If you expand your social circles all the things you think are unfair barriers will turn around and work in your favour. Unlike the PUA who is "cold calling" women you'll be introduced to her by a common friend, you'll immediately have topics of conversation (what do you think of your common friend) and probably some mutual interests and other connections. She'll trust you a bit more and the automatic cold-sholder won't be there, and so on.
So forget about "meeting women", just go meet people, and some of them will turn out to be single women, and some of them are just as insecure as you are about meeting people, but that'll be OK, because you met through friends, so it's natural you would talk.
Plus there is no "pressure" making new friends, so you can develop your small talk, and your interests, in non-threatening ways, so that when you do meet that single girl, it's just natural you would tell a few jokes, and ask her to come out to do something, because that's how you treat everybody.
great points fuji.......more friends is definitly a bad thing......same with putting yourself out there.....rather than halo in the basement with xbox live friends.
Another note for the appendix? Your sarcasm is dripping a tad down you chin, but bang on.
not trying to be hurtful lord knows that world of warcraft nearly ruined a relationship. i uninstalled the game and kept the woman.
perhaps the book could have many authors. fuji could dp the chapter on reassessing your goals.
You have to be confident to be truly successful with women.. That's all. Back when I was single, if I was at a party and I was attracted to a particular woman that I knew was single, I was almost always able to get her number.
Go to the gym.. Even if you don't chisel your muscles, you'll have more confidence in your appearance.. And it will show on your face.
And then join social clubs, or classes, do charity work, sports etc.,. Anything and everything to practice and hone your social skills. It comes naturally to some people and not as naturally to others.. The main thing you'll learn is that being polite and smiling can go a long way.. People want to feel good about themselves and will naturally surround themselves by people that make them feel that way.
Then again, if you're worried about not "hooking up" as much as some of the douche bags out there.. SPs are the better route.. Otherwise you basically have to be able to determine if a particular girl has a low enough self-esteem that she'll be willing to fuck you that night, and you have to be able to do this quick.. And I don't think there's a sure fire way of doing this.. It's basically like carpet bombing with pick-up lines and reading the women when they respond.. It's rather pathetic and (as others have pointed out) if you just want to fuck for fun, you'll end up spending the same amount as you would on an hour with an SP (although SPs are a sure thing).
Go to the gym.. Even if you don't chisel your muscles, you'll have more confidence in your appearance.. And it will show on your face.
And then join social clubs, or classes, do charity work, sports etc.,. Anything and everything to practice and hone your social skills. It comes naturally to some people and not as naturally to others.. The main thing you'll learn is that being polite and smiling can go a long way.. People want to feel good about themselves and will naturally surround themselves by people that make them feel that way.
Then again, if you're worried about not "hooking up" as much as some of the douche bags out there.. SPs are the better route.. Otherwise you basically have to be able to determine if a particular girl has a low enough self-esteem that she'll be willing to fuck you that night, and you have to be able to do this quick.. And I don't think there's a sure fire way of doing this.. It's basically like carpet bombing with pick-up lines and reading the women when they respond.. It's rather pathetic and (as others have pointed out) if you just want to fuck for fun, you'll end up spending the same amount as you would on an hour with an SP (although SPs are a sure thing).
Lmao, thanks I've known two marriages/relationships that were ruined because of one spouse gaming, not mine.
damn smartphone my ass.
i don t know fuji but if i got to know him maybe we could do a dp.......or not.
Guys, do not lose hope. If a bunch of losers like Seinfeld, Kramer and George can get women so can you. If a bunch of socially inept guys like the Big Bang Theory guys can get girls so can you.
I gave up dating because it was all just a game. Everyone had so many preconceptions as to what they wanted they never give you a chance to show them who you are.
Lonely, but better than feeling inadequate all the time.
Lonely, but better than feeling inadequate all the time.
Great practical advice Fuji. Makes sense. JUSt it is very hard to be motivated when life has taught you your chances are extreemly low. I believe unless you have deluded yourself each person by the time they hit 30 maybe even sooner knows what level of attractivness they have ( hot, average, bottom of the barrel). You know esp. if when you are single , guy or female friends want to hook you up. If you go through your 20's & not once has anybody wanted to hook you up with someone ..... you know it's bad.
