How many of you GAVE UP on dating figuring your just too undesirable to women?

[frankcastle]

I wonder how many of the guys who have given up have messed up faces?

Anyone could improve their clothse and it doesn't have to break the bank. A dress shirt, dress pants, belt, watch, shoes, socks can be had for very little money.

Stop eating out is easy enough to do. If you are not home pack a lunch or meal not hard to do.

Eat well.....meat palm of the hand or smaller, keep carbs low, eat lots of fruits and veggies.....no sugary drinks.

Do push ups, crunches, dips, squats, job (all free and can be done at or near home). Maybe get a pull up bar (you can put a stool underneath it and work up to not needing a stool/leggs to help, buy some dumb bells where you can change the weights (cheap at like a fitness depot), watch a few youtube vids on some workout tips.

Start going on datese just for the experience rather than worrying about if she is hot or if you'd see her again. If a joe like me can get internet dates anyone can.

You spent a lifetime creating a difficult situation so a quick fix is not reasonable. But even doing the stuff above or just some of it would probably drastically change things over time.

Take time to grooming..... shave, cut your nails, manscape, get a haircut, shower.

You don't need to be daper with clothes or have a ripped body. You just have to be presentable.

But you'd be surprised I went through a hoodie and casula pants and running shoe phase. Switching to dress shirt dress pants, colour coordinated socks and shoes got me so many comments from people that I knew.

 

[FatOne]

Fine then if you don't want to date girls at your level and you know dating up is a longshot. Then why any stress or pressure? If she says no. you are no worse off. If she says yes and it doesn't work out you are out the cost of dinner for two....... but you learn two things 1) a girl will go out with you and 2) you get practice interacting with women.....it's a skill and you will get better at it but it takes practice.

You are simplifying things greatly. If you did not get socialized in your teens it no longer becomes a matter of practice. I know someone who aggressive went down that route. He just managed to seriously freak out and annoy lots of chicks. He never even knew he was doing it and refused to believe it when someone else told him until the news came from a really trusted source and even then. Practice without coaching will only reinforce what you are doing wrong. Bit like trying to learn Karate from a book. It does not work and no amount of wishful thinking will change that.

Sounds to me that the two options is to have a girl laugh in your face [has happened to me after a girl said she would miss me and I suggested we could still hang out after semester was over] or you end up providing a free meal for some chick who is willing to engage in barter prostitution for food in exchange for non sexual company and then you can enjoy it as she tells all her friends every fucked up freakish socially awkward thing you have done.

 

[frankcastle]

I said this
There are some people, and if you face to face roleplayed for as long as I have [D&D, Hero System, Twilight 2000, CoC etc] you will know a few of them for whom if they were to act with confidence, they would just look stupid and deluded.


Your statement is not really a comment on mine. I've played in 2 different provinces and multiple groups. Trust me, there are plenty of freaks in the hobby who will either never date or who will go decades without dating. That does not imply that there are not norm who fit in. Depending on how the group was formed, you can find them in the same group.

Ever since my extended face to face group fell apart and didn't recruit, and I moved from another city that had a massive roleplaying group, plus the take over of fake RPGs like the world of warcrack and evercrack, I find it pretty much impossible to make male friends. I encounter people, but that is a different story. Even when I did game, I only ended up making friends with other socially mall adjusted freaks.

But hey if I just belieeeeve then the chicks will go mad for me. I would put a picture here, but it would be a bit creepy so
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pollyanna


When everything you say and do results in a shitstorm, even when if someone else says or does the exact same thing and it works, after a while, you learn to give up. If you don't you are not persistent, just retarded and deluded.

But hey, you got me all convinced. I'll just go out and bug and harass every chick I see until I find one that will let me put my penis inside her. Sure I will bug and annoy hundreds of others in the process, [and I've seen this from others, it is not a pretty sight] but fuck them right, as long as I get what I want, nobody else matters. Maybe I will change my name to Paul while I am at it.

Or maybe I will retain my dignity and self respect, yeah, I'll do that. I'd rather have sex with a pile of manure than be an asshole.

Sorry I understood what you meant that some gamers need a lot of work.

meetup.com worked well to meet other gamers for me. Eventually we formed a small group that broke off and did games at our houses.

try internet dating. You are not bothering a girl with a pm if she is on a dating site. While very considerate of you it really takes her all of under a minute to decided whether to keep reading your e-mail or hit delete. If you send her more than one pm without her responding then you are harassing. hell there are even sites for geeks looking to date other geeks. Maybe that's ideal for you. A girl who knows the difference between George R Martin and Steve Martin.

 

[frankcastle]

You are simplifying things greatly. If you did not get socialized in your teens it no longer becomes a matter of practice. I know someone who aggressive went down that route. He just managed to seriously freak out and annoy lots of chicks. He never even knew he was doing it and refused to believe it when someone else told him until the news came from a really trusted source and even then. Practice without coaching will only reinforce what you are doing wrong. Bit like trying to learn Karate from a book. It does not work and no amount of wishful thinking will change that.

Sounds to me that the two options is to have a girl laugh in your face [has happened to me after a girl said she would miss me and I suggested we could still hang out after semester was over] or you end up providing a free meal for some chick who is willing to engage in barter prostitution for food in exchange for non sexual company and then you can enjoy it as she tells all her friends every fucked up freakish socially awkward thing you have done.

I didn't fuck a civi till I was 25 but after that I went on to a string of relationships with girls who are probably 6 to 7s in looks.

Agreed that maybe going over what happend on a date with some friends or someone knowledge able might be useful.

There are books on the art of pick up. Probably some truths to the books. IF the cost is not too much maybe that might be worth it. Hell I bet you could find a pdf on a torrent.

The two girls you described there.... they are the ones with the problems. Unfortunately when you put yourself out there you meet some shitty people.

 

[scouser1]

"ohh booo hooo wawa wawa girls dont like me because I am too short, too fat, too brown etc etc etc" Some of you need to buy a dose of reality, those who are spewing this crap are the same guys who have these insane standards for women. "oh she has to be under 25 and yet I am 57, she has to be under 122 lbs, she has to be completely shaven and like the Leafs, chicken wings and beer"!!! Let's face it who do you fall in love and end up with in a serious relationship? It's always a very good hopefully best friend, who you share common values and goals, and you are on the same wave length emotionally, physically and mentally. Finally most women can spot insecurity a mile away, and nothing is worse than a wuss who will cow tow to all their wishes, this doesnt mean be a jackass but be confident and self assured about your looks, job, your life experiences, that BMW 7 series, whatever it is.

 

[FatOne]

"ohh booo hooo wawa wawa girls dont like me because I am too short, too fat, too brown etc etc etc" Some of you need to buy a dose of reality, those who are spewing this crap are the same guys who have these insane standards for women. "oh she has to be under 25 and yet I am 57, she has to be under 122 lbs, she has to be completely shaven and like the Leafs, chicken wings and beer"!!!

So I should take a pass on that pulse requirement. I donno, those zombie chicks just want you for your brains and those vampire chicks just want you for your body, or more to the point the blood in your body.

From what I've seen, a more likely scenario is some guy who buys into the "there is someone out there for everybody" line and latches onto the first thing that shows the slightest bit of interest and holds on for dear life no matter what because what if there isn't anyone else. Regardless of how unsuitable said person is.

 

[MayDay Malone]

For the guys feeling like no woman will date them, do you have many female friends? If so, ask them for an honest assesment of what could be causing that. Speaking of that, I wish there were some of the females on this board contributing to this discussion.

 

[Samurai Joey]

In western societies there are two forms of status for males:
Economic and sexual. There is only a partial overlap between these. With such extreme individualism, playing by the rules, being honest, even doing your best etc etc, are, at best, only valued in small disjointed circles.

That's how I see it anyway.

You have an awfully limited view on life in Western societies if you seriously believe that the status of males is solely restricted to economic and sexual prowess. There is also the attraction of intellectual heft as well.

 

[Samurai Joey]

So I should take a pass on that pulse requirement. I donno, those zombie chicks just want you for your brains and those vampire chicks just want you for your body, or more to the point the blood in your body.

From what I've seen, a more likely scenario is some guy who buys into the "there is someone out there for everybody" line and latches onto the first thing that shows the slightest bit of interest and holds on for dear life no matter what because what if there isn't anyone else. Regardless of how unsuitable said person is.

I have read your posts in this thread up until this point, and it sounds to me like you are making all sorts of excuses about why you are so unattractive to women (you are too fat, you have no charm, etc.). If you seriously believe that about yourself, then of course you will never be in a serious relationship (i.e. a self-fulfilling prophecy).

IMHO, you have deep psychological problems and probably need to see a therapist. While I am not a psychiatrist, I also think you should have yourself tested or assessed to see if you suffer from Asperger's syndrome -- if so, then a specialized psychologist can guide you on strategies to become better socialized with other people, to cope better in society.

 

[blackrock13]

So I should take a pass on that pulse requirement. I donno, those zombie chicks just want you for your brains and those vampire chicks just want you for your body, or more to the point the blood in your body.

From what I've seen, a more likely scenario is some guy who buys into the "there is someone out there for everybody" line and latches onto the first thing that shows the slightest bit of interest and holds on for dear life no matter what because what if there isn't anyone else. Regardless of how unsuitable said person is.

Absolute BS. If their thinking was 'there's someone for everyone' why take the first to come along. Maybe in your soap opera life, but most of my successful friends did exactly the opposite, save one and all of them went away to university and experienced that once in a life time shot at life; more free pussy than you could imagine, no aids, and no parents over your shoulder to cramp your style.

As SJ said, if that's your thinking going in your half done out of the blocks.

 

[djk]

For the guys feeling like no woman will date them, do you have many female friends? If so, ask them for an honest assesment of what could be causing that.

I disagree.

When most women give advice, its to make the guy into "a better beta". In other words, be that guy they shack up with once they've had their fun and need someone to be a provider. Don't listen to what they say, watch what they do. You'll start to notice their advice and actual dating end up on opposite ends.

I'd recommend taking advice from a guy who's doing it better than you. If there are none, feel free to PM and I can provide some resources that have helped me out.

Either way, good luck to all.

 

[MayDay Malone]

I disagree.

When most women give advice, its to make the guy into "a better beta". In other words, be that guy they shack up with once they've had their fun and need someone to be a provider. Don't listen to what they say, watch what they do. You'll start to notice their advice and actual dating end up on opposite ends.

I'd recommend taking advice from a guy who's doing it better than you. If there are none, feel free to PM and I can provide some resources that have helped me out.

Either way, good luck to all.

You're absolutely correct, I should have clarified my comments: I mean more in terms of outward appearance type of stuff: sense of fashion, hairstyle, etc.

But you do need (male) buddies to learn how to play "the game" from.

 

[djk]

You're absolutely correct, I should have clarified my comments: I mean more in terms of outward appearance type of stuff: sense of fashion, hairstyle, etc.

But you do need (male) buddies to learn from.

Totally agree there.

I was really surprised to find out some of the things women really hone in on. Shoes, belt, fingernails, teeth...

 

[FatOne]

I have read your posts in this thread up until this point, and it sounds to me like you are making all sorts of excuses about why you are so unattractive to women (you are too fat, you have no charm, etc.). If you seriously believe that about yourself, then of course you will never be in a serious relationship (i.e. a self-fulfilling prophecy).
.

Yeah, thats it. It is also my belief that I can never make the NHL that is keeping me out of major league hockey, not my age, lack of talent and history of injuries, it is that I seriously believe that about myself. All that is just making excuses. The only reason I can't drive from Montreal to Toronto in one hour is because I make excuses, ohh cars don't go that fast, it is over the speed limit, it would be a danger to other traffic, just bullshit excuses that keep me down. I think I will try to squat 3000 pounds, I could make excuses as to why I can't but if I just belieeeve then I can do anything.

Is it really that far removed from your conception that some people are just not dateable? I've known quite a few that are.

Then you toss in the classic medicalization of everything.

Absolute BS. If their thinking was 'there's someone for everyone' why take the first to come along. Maybe in your soap opera life, but most of my successful friends did exactly the opposite, save one and all of them went away to university and experienced that once in a life time shot at life; more free pussy than you could imagine, no aids, and no parents over your shoulder to cramp your style.

As SJ said, if that's your thinking going in your half done out of the blocks.

You mean much like your reading comprehension?

The attitude of there is someone for everyone, from the context I obvious mean in the there is that one special person out there, never heard of that?
Also that you mention your successful friends shows you have utterly no understanding. I am not talking about normals, but freaks. People feed them that standard line and they follow it and glomp on.
As for your soap opera remark, go fuck yourself you cunt. I'd bet you have more soap opera shit in your life than mine. Not that I take notes, but you are one of the biggest drama queens on terb.

 

[blackrock13]

I disagree.

When most women give advice, its to make the guy into "a better beta". In other words, be that guy they shack up with once they've had their fun and need someone to be a provider. Don't listen to what they say, watch what they do. You'll start to notice their advice and actual dating end up on opposite ends.

I'd recommend taking advice from a guy who's doing it better than you. If there are none, feel free to PM and I can provide some resources that have helped me out.

Either way, good luck to all.

How do you judge 'better than you'? By the notches on his bedpost? By the tales he tells over drinks at the local? Reading some of the misogynist PUA posts on this site gives me a belly ache from laughing so hard. Are these the guys that should be giving advise to someone who is awkward with women? I doubt it.

There's nothing wrong with being a Beta. They're the ones that do the heavy lifting and can provide in tough times instead of looking at the women crows feet and softening bust line, running and saying 'bubye' as she's kicked to the curb for a newer model of arm candy. Most women do eventually shack up with these guys, no shit.

From; http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=beta+male

In the animal kingdom, the alpha male is the dominant member of the community. He’s like a cartoon caveman, commanding deference. The betas are wingmen, collaborative and conciliatory. In human terms, betas make the best mates. They do more in the house, and probably in the bedroom, because they know how to hasten the greater good. The beta has poetry in him, and a touch of youthful idealism. He’s sure of who he is, and not constantly trying to prove his value in materialistic terms. (Alpha: Your expensive car doesn’t make you interesting.) The beta can earn a lot of money, or a little, but the money’s not the thing; he profits because he works well with others. There’s something rebellious about the beta male; he challenges the social order rather than succumbing to it. The beta male doesn’t buy in to the basest stereotypes about male behavior, and that’s hugely sexy. That guy is so unassuming, affable and genuine.

I could go deeper, but I fear some reader might get the bends.

 

[Partyman1970]

I agree with some advice such as change, improve yourself: lose weight, dress better, get a nose job etc. Some things are just impossible to change & ONLY if you are a gambling guy & like to try to beat the odds will you endeavour. Never was the type to put time & money into extreem remote odds. Advice was given by women: sorry about your luck, fate is a bitch BUT sure someone will love you for you.:Eek:

 

[Samurai Joey]

Yeah, thats it. It is also my belief that I can never make the NHL that is keeping me out of major league hockey, not my age, lack of talent and history of injuries, it is that I seriously believe that about myself. All that is just making excuses. The only reason I can't drive from Montreal to Toronto in one hour is because I make excuses, ohh cars don't go that fast, it is over the speed limit, it would be a danger to other traffic, just bullshit excuses that keep me down. I think I will try to squat 3000 pounds, I could make excuses as to why I can't but if I just belieeeve then I can do anything.

Is it really that far removed from your conception that some people are just not dateable? I've known quite a few that are.

Then you toss in the classic medicalization of everything.

FatOne, there is a huge difference between concluding that you are unattractive to all women (which is pretty much what you have concluded about yourself) versus not making it into the NHL or driving from Montreal to Toronto in an hour or benchpressing 3000 lbs (to take your examples). The Montreal-to-Toronto driver in an hour is an unrealistic example that no one would ever believe. As for the NHL or benchpressing 3000 lbs, obviously only a few exceptional individuals with certain naturally physical abilities, combined with years of physical training, can make it into that level of elite athleticism.

Dating and relationships, on the other hand, does not require any special skill. What it does require is a healthy sense of self-confidence, along with decent social skills which can be acquired by anyone. Thus to answer your question, no, there is no one who is completely undateable. Obviously, some people are less dateable than others, but one can make oneself more dateable through acquiring those social skills.

If you feel that you don't have these skills, then see a therapist who can help you acquire them!

 

[blackrock13]

Yeah, thats it. It is also my belief that I can never make the NHL that is keeping me out of major league hockey, not my age, lack of talent and history of injuries, it is that I seriously believe that about myself. All that is just making excuses. The only reason I can't drive from Montreal to Toronto in one hour is because I make excuses, ohh cars don't go that fast, it is over the speed limit, it would be a danger to other traffic, just bullshit excuses that keep me down. I think I will try to squat 3000 pounds, I could make excuses as to why I can't but if I just belieeeve then I can do anything.

Is it really that far removed from your conception that some people are just not dateable? I've known quite a few that are.

Then you toss in the classic medicalization of everything.


You mean much like your reading comprehension?

The attitude of there is someone for everyone, from the context I obvious mean in the there is that one special person out there, never heard of that?
Also that you mention your successful friends shows you have utterly no understanding. I am not talking about normals, but freaks. People feed them that standard line and they follow it and glomp on.
As for your soap opera remark, go fuck yourself you cunt. I'd bet you have more soap opera shit in your life than mine. Not that I take notes, but you are one of the biggest drama queens on terb.

I see your polishing up the debating skills by following the style of the recently departed Steve!~. I'm not the only one in this thread that thinks you ideas are off.

If you go into a sales meeting, interview, or negotiation thinking like you do, you're half done. Any good business mind knows that. As far as the NHL is concerned, the numbers are against you more than your talent. 500,000 play hockey in Canada and 800 make it to the NHL.

Having seen my fair share of unattractive people ( in my view) dating beautiful/hansom people, it's more than looks that make them successful. Most reason people don't worry about not driving to Montreal in an hour. If you in that much a hurry, fly.

Exactly where did i go all medical?

If you think I'm a drama queen, you apparently need to take notes. I hear it helps the memory.

 

[blackrock13]

Being a Beta doesn't help if you're too pussy to talk to girls. It's nice, sure and I respect people who don't follow what everybody else is doing.

PUAs are definitely full of shit however. I suggest everybody follow this channel.

http://www.youtube.com/user/SimplePickup/featured

No tricks, no games. Just guys who are not pussy to talk to girls. They aren't scared of shit.

If you're too pussy to talk to women, you're certainly not a beta.

 

[letsn0twastetime]

After reading this entire thread everything is instantly solved with one word... Confidence. If you don't feel good about yourself then no one else will either. All that stuff too fat, too shy, too short all goes away with confidence. Ask any girl they will tell you the best looking guy is no catch unless he has a nice personality to go along with it for any type of long term relationship to work.

So whether that confidence comes in the form of formalized cognitive therapy or a prescription bottle of anti depressants seriously consider it, life is too short to wait around self loathing and being bitter and sarcastic.

To the one poster that said his ex wanted you to make 100k unless there was no long term future, you were best to leave as that clearly was not the right girl for you. Don't get me wrong a lot of girls out there are holding out for what they perceive as mr right and will over look you but they will soon come crashing back to reality as their biological locks start ticking. By then they'll realize they made a mistake by passing you up years before. Why do you think there is such a huge increase in a new Marie segment of single older women out there....

And if all else fails remember that as a guy you are still not at the bottoms of the societal structure of cute girl then cute guy followed by ugly guy and eventually ugly girl. So you do have options !