Inside beauty, by itself, can go stuff itself. If Im dating, its to produce healthy children.
How many of you GAVE UP on dating figuring your just too undesirable to women?
- Thread starter Partyman1970
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This thread kind of reminds me of an episode of How I Met Your Mother. Does anyone remember the episode where Barney sets up Ted with a girl and tells him that she is a prostitute. Turns out Barney lied to him and she is really a paralegal. At the end of the episode Barney says to Ted, "when you thought she was a sure thing, you acted so confident and she took you up to her hotel room. Why can't you be that confident with every girl you meet?"
FatOne.... I have played my fair share of table top RPGs and do okay with dating.
For nay sayres about short guys..... I typically date women who are my height or taller
For guys looking to date white girls.... I'm asian and date exclusively white girls
Regarding confidence.... what do you think that looks like? To me that means not stammering, able to carry a conversation, and able to show that you are passionate about something. That's not hard to do.
As for approaching and meeting women....hedge your bets..... I've been a big fan of internet dating. It's a numbers game but it did yield dates usually with GNDs but hey that's fine with me. And while you do have to send out a lot of messages it certainly was cheaper than going out to bars buying drinks. In other words try to meet available women...... the cold call of the hottie on the street is a long shot meant for pros or guys okay with getting shot down.
Look I'm short, asian, 15 lbs over weight, working an under 6 figure job and only interested in white girls. If I can get dates any of you can.
Stop looking for reasons why people won't date you because I'm sure you could find someone.
Perhaps the real issue is ...."are you interested in the type of girl that is at your level?"
Not to be coarse but if all you can get is fugly girl..... is that really the end of the world? Maybe she's interesting, smart, kind, skilled.
On the other hand maybe for some having a hot SP from time to time is enough and that's great. In fact that's not a bad way to live.
But choose that life because you like it not because you think that it's the best you can do.
Keep in mind that this is a biased place to ask this question as you are going to get a lot more pro SP votes than other places.
For nay sayres about short guys..... I typically date women who are my height or taller
For guys looking to date white girls.... I'm asian and date exclusively white girls
Regarding confidence.... what do you think that looks like? To me that means not stammering, able to carry a conversation, and able to show that you are passionate about something. That's not hard to do.
As for approaching and meeting women....hedge your bets..... I've been a big fan of internet dating. It's a numbers game but it did yield dates usually with GNDs but hey that's fine with me. And while you do have to send out a lot of messages it certainly was cheaper than going out to bars buying drinks. In other words try to meet available women...... the cold call of the hottie on the street is a long shot meant for pros or guys okay with getting shot down.
Look I'm short, asian, 15 lbs over weight, working an under 6 figure job and only interested in white girls. If I can get dates any of you can.
Stop looking for reasons why people won't date you because I'm sure you could find someone.
Perhaps the real issue is ...."are you interested in the type of girl that is at your level?"
Not to be coarse but if all you can get is fugly girl..... is that really the end of the world? Maybe she's interesting, smart, kind, skilled.
On the other hand maybe for some having a hot SP from time to time is enough and that's great. In fact that's not a bad way to live.
But choose that life because you like it not because you think that it's the best you can do.
Keep in mind that this is a biased place to ask this question as you are going to get a lot more pro SP votes than other places.
to all the guys here who are just dumping on yourselves, I just want to say that first and foremost I've been where you are and that my self perception was to blame as to the no confidence issues and never getting a chance with someone but now that I look at those times with a different perspective I realized I gave those girls far "too much" credit and I also realized that there were a lot of chances out there that I just didn't act on. Mind you back then I couldn't act on them either.
So anyways what's the point of my story. I would advise that you seek professional help and never mind the stereotype out there that if you see a shrink that you are in some way 'weak' and that being on medication makes you weaker somehow. There are so many people with mental illness that go through life without being diagnosed but if your serious about changing the way you feel about yourself then make the first big step by admiting it and seeing someone. I did this 3 years ago and I can honestly say it save me from a path of self loathing and self destruction. My outlook on life has changed, self destructive behaviour, anger management and especially my confidence level with women. I realized if there isn't any chemistry out there or she as any hang ups about me because of my race or height or shyness or social economic status.. well that's her problem so move on nothing you can do and its not worth trying to change her anyways so just move on. So anyone looking to find a nice civi SO don't give especially when it seems hopeless and pointless as you might miss that next opportunity out there that presents itself. And if get rejected well take pride in the fact that you did something and you took part in life not just sit on the sidelines and watch things go by ...
So anyways what's the point of my story. I would advise that you seek professional help and never mind the stereotype out there that if you see a shrink that you are in some way 'weak' and that being on medication makes you weaker somehow. There are so many people with mental illness that go through life without being diagnosed but if your serious about changing the way you feel about yourself then make the first big step by admiting it and seeing someone. I did this 3 years ago and I can honestly say it save me from a path of self loathing and self destruction. My outlook on life has changed, self destructive behaviour, anger management and especially my confidence level with women. I realized if there isn't any chemistry out there or she as any hang ups about me because of my race or height or shyness or social economic status.. well that's her problem so move on nothing you can do and its not worth trying to change her anyways so just move on. So anyone looking to find a nice civi SO don't give especially when it seems hopeless and pointless as you might miss that next opportunity out there that presents itself. And if get rejected well take pride in the fact that you did something and you took part in life not just sit on the sidelines and watch things go by ...
+1
Work on the stuff you can control (yourself) and don't worry so much about the factors you can't control.
Crazy not to date someone taller than you. If she is interested & you find her attractive go for it. If you find taller women unattractive in general, then hay , that is different. Do not be caught up it this stereotype that a man is only manly in the relationship by being the big strong guy relative to his female partner. Really get over that.
Norms are changing... Im not sure why though.
Then again, being a foreign immigrant, Im not sure what the norms were when I first got here either.
Almost had sex at age 11, made it to 3rd base then I gave up on dating at age 13.at age 23 had sex, started going to Massage parlours and seeing escorts at age 25. three later Ive seen over 30 escorts and haven't dated a single women since and can count my hands the number of times ive talked to women with the intention of dating on my hands.
there just doesn't seem to be any opputunties to meet women that are interested me. If im in the mood an SP is just a phone call away, while it could take days,weeks,months or even years to get a date. I'm shy and shy guys finish last!
I've had one girlfriend she brokemup with me after two weeks because apperently i wanted to fuck too much.though we needed being fuck buddies for a bout a year. The real reason was money and i had to make $100,000 a year for her to marry me.
I'm properly better off renting than buying anyways!
there just doesn't seem to be any opputunties to meet women that are interested me. If im in the mood an SP is just a phone call away, while it could take days,weeks,months or even years to get a date. I'm shy and shy guys finish last!
I've had one girlfriend she brokemup with me after two weeks because apperently i wanted to fuck too much.though we needed being fuck buddies for a bout a year. The real reason was money and i had to make $100,000 a year for her to marry me.
I'm properly better off renting than buying anyways!
From what little Ive seen, there is a very weak correlation between outside looks and inside personality. Actually, it goes a bit in reverse, if anything - probably because uglier girls enjoy the power of rejecting someone and being bitchy as more validating than actually getting someone.FatOne.... I have played my fair share of table top RPGs and do okay with dating.
For nay sayres about short guys..... I typically date women who are my height or taller
For guys looking to date white girls.... I'm asian and date exclusively white girls
Regarding confidence.... what do you think that looks like? To me that means not stammering, able to carry a conversation, and able to show that you are passionate about something. That's not hard to do.
As for approaching and meeting women....hedge your bets..... I've been a big fan of internet dating. It's a numbers game but it did yield dates usually with GNDs but hey that's fine with me. And while you do have to send out a lot of messages it certainly was cheaper than going out to bars buying drinks. In other words try to meet available women...... the cold call of the hottie on the street is a long shot meant for pros or guys okay with getting shot down.
Look I'm short, asian, 15 lbs over weight, working an under 6 figure job and only interested in white girls. If I can get dates any of you can.
Stop looking for reasons why people won't date you because I'm sure you could find someone.
Perhaps the real issue is ...."are you interested in the type of girl that is at your level?"
Not to be coarse but if all you can get is fugly girl..... is that really the end of the world? Maybe she's interesting, smart, kind, skilled.
On the other hand maybe for some having a hot SP from time to time is enough and that's great. In fact that's not a bad way to live.
But choose that life because you like it not because you think that it's the best you can do.
Keep in mind that this is a biased place to ask this question as you are going to get a lot more pro SP votes than other places.
I read this and shake my head. It sounds like you basically sleep walked through the most important time of your life to learn people skills, your teens, especially with the girls. 100's of opportunities to practice with little expectation to find a soul mate. How many people actually marry their high school sweetheart? No wonder you find it difficult to relate to mainstream folk. My best advise is start 'practicing' and expect to fail often, but don't quite man. By your age most of my mates hadn't even gotten married yet. I was the last at 28, but had been around the world, worked and lived in a half dozen countries and came back ready to share my life with one women. Someday you'll wake up and your life will be behind you and no chance to turn back time.
I'm not belittling you, but just saying get off your arse and don't give up. you've got lots of time to make up for your teen years especially with nature and medical science being what it is you can expect to be around for a long time. The 60's are yesterdays 40's.
If she told you she expected you to make 100 G's to marry, You're better off without her. Dowries are so yesterday.
Here is an alternative perspective:
It is OK to be gay/lesbian. After all, the gay rights people shove their lifestyle down our (society's) throats. OK fine, do your thing, whatever.
If it is OK to be homosexual, why is it NOT OK to be non-sexual/rarely sexual?
We judge other males based on their ability to mate with females, and their frequency of being able to do this?
How tribal.
It is OK to be gay/lesbian. After all, the gay rights people shove their lifestyle down our (society's) throats. OK fine, do your thing, whatever.
If it is OK to be homosexual, why is it NOT OK to be non-sexual/rarely sexual?
We judge other males based on their ability to mate with females, and their frequency of being able to do this?
How tribal.
In western societies there are two forms of status for males:
Economic and sexual. There is only a partial overlap between these. With such extreme individualism, playing by the rules, being honest, even doing your best etc etc, are, at best, only valued in small disjointed circles.
That's how I see it anyway.
Economic and sexual. There is only a partial overlap between these. With such extreme individualism, playing by the rules, being honest, even doing your best etc etc, are, at best, only valued in small disjointed circles.
That's how I see it anyway.
I said "maybe"..... I didn't suggest that a fugly girl would have redeeming traits just that you shouldn't blow off a girl just based on looks shie mght be a great person in other ways.
I'm a strong believer that people adapt. The fugly girl knows she's not going to be first picked so she will likely find other ways to make herself attractive.
But you're right just as the male who has written himself and given up I'm sure there are fugly girls that have don;e likewise and resorted to being bitches.
It doesn't hurt to take the t ime to figure out if a fugly girl willing to go out on a first date is the gem or the bitch.
Blanket statements on giving up on dating to me are cop outs. I see lots of people walking around as couples and they certainly aren't all suave GQ models with runway models beside them
That actually sounds like a weak resume of the early years. Mine was too, so I'm not trying to say that I was a dating machine because I definitely wasn't.
You've pointed out that it's hard to meet women and even if you do that you are shy and you make less than 6 figures and that SPs etc are much more convinient.
You've given yourself so many outs rather than face the fact that meeting women takes work and time for inexperienced guys. Dating is truly a numbers game approach enough women eventually you will get dates. Try internet dating, speed dating, parties with friends (surly there must be the odd single girl at a friends house), if someone offers to set you up, say yes, say hello to neighbours or people you run into often. will any of these work right away? Probably not but it doesn't have to be sidling up to a group of women at a bar trying to buy one of them a drink.
Fugly girls just end up in the friend zone. Be realistic. Most of us get into intimate relationships with those we find physically, sexually attractive. What you describe sounds like openning path to friendship. LIKEWISE 99% of women do not find me sexually appealing & thus don't give me even a first look or friendzone me. NOT blaming them. Just saying the odds of success are so low there is little motivation when the payoff so remote. For same reason I don't play lotteries. Not the kind of guy to go for long shots or gamble. Probably if I was a bit of a gambler & willing to persue ridiculously low chances, I would end up with better success.
Fine then if you don't want to date girls at your level and you know dating up is a longshot. Then why any stress or pressure? If she says no. you are no worse off. If she says yes and it doesn't work out you are out the cost of dinner for two....... but you learn two things 1) a girl will go out with you and 2) you get practice interacting with women.....it's a skill and you will get better at it but it takes practice. Dating and fucking are low probability events for most of us but it shouldn't keep you away.
I said this
There are some people, and if you face to face roleplayed for as long as I have [D&D, Hero System, Twilight 2000, CoC etc] you will know a few of them for whom if they were to act with confidence, they would just look stupid and deluded.
Your statement is not really a comment on mine. I've played in 2 different provinces and multiple groups. Trust me, there are plenty of freaks in the hobby who will either never date or who will go decades without dating. That does not imply that there are not norm who fit in. Depending on how the group was formed, you can find them in the same group.
Ever since my extended face to face group fell apart and didn't recruit, and I moved from another city that had a massive roleplaying group, plus the take over of fake RPGs like the world of warcrack and evercrack, I find it pretty much impossible to make male friends. I encounter people, but that is a different story. Even when I did game, I only ended up making friends with other socially mall adjusted freaks.
But hey if I just belieeeeve then the chicks will go mad for me. I would put a picture here, but it would be a bit creepy so
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pollyanna
When everything you say and do results in a shitstorm, even when if someone else says or does the exact same thing and it works, after a while, you learn to give up. If you don't you are not persistent, just retarded and deluded.
But hey, you got me all convinced. I'll just go out and bug and harass every chick I see until I find one that will let me put my penis inside her. Sure I will bug and annoy hundreds of others in the process, [and I've seen this from others, it is not a pretty sight] but fuck them right, as long as I get what I want, nobody else matters. Maybe I will change my name to Paul while I am at it.
Or maybe I will retain my dignity and self respect, yeah, I'll do that. I'd rather have sex with a pile of manure than be an asshole.
