How has "hobbying" improved your life?

[koreanjames]

Great post - may I ask how old are you ?

This world has definitely offered a lot for me over the past 20 years. I just had this conversation over beers with a really good friend that also partakes in this industry and we came up with some interest positives that I've listed below. I've certainly experienced some bad things, and I've heard stories from some ladies I've grown to close to that have opened up that make me want to cry, but for the most part, fairly positive.

Single in my 20's: Allowed me to realize I didn't have to stay in shitty relationships with women who were terrible matches for me to get access to sexual relief. This allowed me to qualify potential girlfriends and partners very fast and not get trapped in a relationship with someone I really didn't want. Not having the distraction/drama from a bad relationship let me concentrate on work too.

Married: I had an amazingly good time with my ex wife for years. We experimented together by meeting women we approached in this industry. Experienced all sorts of wonderful times.

Going through divorce: We left each other for reasons not having to do with sex or cheating. It was a painful time, and a lot of women from this industry made it bearable. I'm sure some of the moments I've that helped me through some sad times were manufactured by the Provider, and other moments were very real and genuine. Either way, it was helpful.

Single 2nd time around: See my comments about my 20's, the same concept still applied. The only difference is that I've been lucky to have stumbled my way into an excellent career and I found that I could afford dinner dates, weekend trips, etc. Which meant, I've had a lot of time to build a connection with the ladies I've seen which means I've developed great bedroom chemistry with some. In the case of two women, the bedroom part died out but a friendship blossomed, and both of those women I've been in touch with daily/weekly for nearly 10 years as actual platonic friends and we're involved in each others personal lives and no money and no sex has ever exchanged again

Married again: If you count sugar daddy sites as part of this industry, then here's the ultimate benefit....I met my current SO on it. What started out as an arrangement blossomed into something totally different which neither of us were expecting. And because I met her under these circumstances, I've been 100% myself from the start which I never even had with my first love/ex wife. It's amazingly freeing when you can talk to your wife and say "I can't get this look out of my mind! I might be developing a thing for red headed curvy women with freckles wearing penguin costume and green heels to peg me with a glass dildo while you watch... I think I want something like this one day" and she'll find a way to get this for me, even if it involves someone else. We have very firm rules in place for each other with the understanding that if these rules need to change, it's a very serious thing we need to bring up and discuss. She's a saver and frugal with money which has been amazing for me financially as well. We're discussing having children now.

I'm pretty sure I've provided some nice value to some ladies lives as well. Aside from the obvious, I've been told the advice I've given on life, money management, school, career, relationship, parenting, etc has been invaluable. I don't think its lip service either.

 

[PinotNoir]

Met lots of interesting women who I enjoyed spending time with. Gives me a diversion from a monogamous relationship without the anxiety of divorce.

 

[Powpow]

Well said, to keep it short: me too. While not as fortunate as you may have been with both of your relationships, the hobby kept me balanced through out a difficult divorce. It is not over yet, however, I am not desperate for sex.

I wish I could find someone who will be open minded to trying sex with others....

Hang in there man. Doing a divorce the right way, with all the t's crossed and i's dotted will help you later down the line. I hope if there are kids involved, you soon to be ex isn't using them as pawns. I've seen some nightmares.

As for finding someone open minded, I found the easiest way to do that is to bringing it up when you start something. I've always been honest with women I meet on the first date or two about how I yearn to be in a life long relationship but the one thing I struggle with on settling down is the 'keeping to one woman' aspect of it. Open minded women will ask you why and you can tell her its about XYZ fetish, or whatever. I somehow think the 20 year old and early 30 year olds are way more open minded now than the girls I knew back then. It's like almost all of them have had a 3 some at one point in their life, usually in university. Closed minded women would end the date and write you off, which in my mind is probably a good thing. Qualify them out fast.

 

[Powpow]

Great post - may I ask how old are you ?

Sure. I'm between 42 and 46. My tinfoil hat tells me I should give a range and not my exact age since I actually know several James' and several Koreans!

 

[Big Rig]

Hobby had given me confidence , not only with women but confidence in general.

Hookers at truckstops I feel sorry for and they do nothing positive for me and I never use them.

However, quality SPs and MPAs who enjoy making men feel good is worth every penny.

Because of hobby, I know I can please a women sexually and this has given me confidence (a skill never taught in school)

This confidence is recognized by females (they view me as an alpha male ) and has resulted in me meeting women on the road when laid over .

This is not my ego speaking when I say I now realize there are women looking for my male companionship wherever I go. I just have to find them. I dress nice, wear a nice cologne and I am friendly and act confident. I do not use PU techniques but I look for signals of interest then will quickly offer compliments . Sometimes I fall on my face but you cannot let that bother you or you are finished. Even the best hitters only hit 30 %. It is a matter of numbers and good fortune


I also feel I have never paid for anything sexual unless the female was doing it freely (although , of course, I cannot be sure)

My country has made me a crlminal. Those who made me a criminal because of my hobby refuse to even listen to my POV

No way do I even remotely consider myself a criminal.

 

[Goodoer]

When younger, I did fun sex shit when I was single, but became a White Knight while in a relationship (but secretly wishing I was doing Black Knight shit). In between relationships, I would go on a tear, but quickly get into relationships. Now, I think I'd be a Grey Knight and be much more open minded to others just wanting to get off.

The SP sex hasn't been ground breaking as I've been fortunate while I was younger (except for FMF for Fuck's sake!). The variety of looks, culture, etc. has scratched itches here and there. The sex can give me a boost to get through.

 

[Johnny Utah]

I think I’ve had some of the best passionate sex ever and it frees up your inhibitions.

I can speak more freely about what I want and learn more about myself sexually without the biases and fear from a civilian partner.

You also get to meet like minded sex obsessed people and how they live their lives.

 

[bluebro69]

I have found a few real, genuine friends.

 

[Big Rig]

I feel like it's therapy for me. I've never been very confident of myself or my skills in the bedroom. I've been lobbying for a few years now and in the last year or so there has been one lady in particular who has helped me immensely. I've never felt judged for performance or longevity with her. We've developed some amazing chemistry over the last bit. After time with her I feel calm, relaxed and confident in myself.

Congrats.

Sex ed is taught in public schools , but it is so bad it is oppressive. At least it was for me. So you have to teach yourself

There are great vids on the topic by non judgemental and educated teachers but you still need someone to practise on and that is where a quality SP , or MPA , comes in to help in your re-education

To summarize, they teach sex ed so poorly in public schools it is actually oppressive (by default and ommission), then when you pay a willing SP to re-educate yourself so you are happy they call you a criminal

 

[bvz]

The opportunity to spend time with some terrific women that under normal circumstances I would have zero chance. Some have been fantastic, some have been duds, a small number I have seen a few times and a really low number multiple times. I love my multiples. Great women I get excited about seeing every time I go.

 

[HentaiRanger]

I got practice talking to women and learnt not be shy