How do you get a man to not cheat on you ?

GPIDEAL

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Jun 27, 2010
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Social awareness or casual use? I don't say it casually. When I do, those people know I mean it.
Okay. I don't say it casually, although it might be with someone who I'm casual with, ha ha.

For me, the L word is used with certain girls. It represents mutual respect & even affection. Maybe with 2, it's a teeny bit amorous (if not a clever play ha ha).

But I might also say ILU out of sheer debauchery or lust, like if I'm being rimmed and about to cum on her, hee hee :Eek:
 

shakenbake

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Nov 13, 2003
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I love married men however I'm trying to figure out why guys cheat
It is in our DNA to spread our DNA. That simple. Humans are not naturally monogamous.

http://www.livescience.com/32146-are-humans-meant-to-be-monogamous.html

Only 3 percent to 5 percent of the roughly 5,000 species of mammals (including humans) are known to form lifelong, monogamous bonds , with the loyal superstars including beavers, wolves and some bats.
Social monogamy is a term referring to creatures that pair up to mate and raise offspring but still have flings. Sexually monogamous pairs mate with only with one partner. So a cheating husband who detours for a romantic romp yet returns home in time to tuck in the kids at night would be considered socially monogamous.


Beyond that, scientists' definitions for monogamy vary.
Evolutionary psychologists have suggested that men are more likely to have extramarital sex, partially due to the male urge to "spread genes" by broadcasting sperm. Both males and females, these scientists say, try to up their evolutionary progress by seeking out high-quality mates, albeit in different ways.
The committed partnership between a man and a woman evolved, some say, for the well-being of children.
"The human species has evolved to make commitments between males and females in regards to raising their offspring, so this is a bond," said Jane Lancaster, an evolutionary anthropologist at the University of New Mexico. "However that bond can fit into all kinds of marriage patterns – polygyny, single parenthood, monogamy."
The human species is somewhat unique amongst mammals in that fathers do invest in raising children .
"We do know that in humans we do have this pretty strong pair bond, and there's more paternal investment than in most other primates," said Daniel Kruger, a social and evolutionary psychologist at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health. "We're special in this regard, but at the same time like most mammals, we are a polygynous species." Kruger said humans are considered "mildly polygynous," in which a male mates with more than one female.
Whether or not the married or otherwise committed individuals stray for sex depends on the costs and benefits.
"There is plenty of evidence that males have less to lose than females by having extramarital sex," Lancaster said. "Having less to lose, it's easier for them to do it."
Women, however, could lose "dad's" resources when it comes to raising their kids. "For women, the well-being of their children is not improved by promiscuity," Lancaster told LiveScience.
Some scientists view both social and sexual monogamy in humans as a societal structure rather than a natural state.
"I don't think we are a monogamous animal," said Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle. "A really monogamous animal is a goose – which never mates again even if its mate is killed."
She added, "Monogamy is invented for order and investment – but not necessarily because it's 'natural.'"
 

thirdcup

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Jan 4, 2005
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Here's one in the same vein. How do you get a woman to not spend her man's money by regularly buying stuff to replace the stuff that still works and looks just fine, and repeats every few years because the old stuff 'was getting old' ?
 

DB123

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Here's one in the same vein. How do you get a woman to not spend her man's money by regularly buying stuff to replace the stuff that still works and looks just fine, and repeats every few years because the old stuff 'was getting old' ?
Kinda sorta explains why we cheat too, no?
 

Titalian

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Here's one in the same vein. How do you get a woman to not spend her man's money by regularly buying stuff to replace the stuff that still works and looks just fine, and repeats every few years because the old stuff 'was getting old' ?
Is it maybe, that women luv change more than men ???
 

pablice

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This is easy...find a women who makes more then you and spend her money on nice new toys, tvs, smartphones, cameras, cars, fancy lunches and justify that is for the family needs...simple as this...;)

Here's one in the same vein. How do you get a woman to not spend her man's money by regularly buying stuff to replace the stuff that still works and looks just fine, and repeats every few years because the old stuff 'was getting old' ?
 

Anynym

Just a bit to the right
Dec 28, 2005
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I love married men however I'm trying to figure out why guys cheat
Some men find it within their moral code to cheat. Society comes up with plenty of ready-made excuses: that we're not naturally monogamous, that we're only as faithful as our options, that all men would cheat if they knew they wouldn't get caught, that it's not cheating if you don't enjoy it emotionally, and so on.

The fact is, cheating is a choice. We all make choices every day. There are some men who choose to not engage in behaviour which would be regarded as unfaithfulness, and who expect the same of their partner. There are some men who believe that having sex with strangers isn't 'cheating'.

If you want to find a partner who has similar morals to your own, hang out where your morality is on display. But don't expect a partner to be satisfied if your morals are not compatible.
 

Titalian

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Nov 27, 2012
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If you've haven't seen it. I suggest you do, This is from a woman's perspective. We are all bred to have a need to reproduce, by nature, especially as we get older !!
This movie portraits an attractive older woman's perspective and her inner feelings. She asks, am I still still attractive !!! Cheating ? NO ! Its an inner primal instinct.

 

frankcastle

Well-known member
Feb 4, 2003
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I think the best would be to have an open relationship

sorry but even filet mignon and fine wine every day gets dull.....
 

pablice

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Take your own advice...even open relationships get dull...sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind. This is dangerous because when it does come crashing down it crashes hard.

We all go through the winds of change...you fell in love for a part of her in the beginning...secret to any relationship is that you have to be willing to do what it takes to make it work even if it means cheating as long as she don't know. It is not fair to project your deficiencies or shortcomings to the ever changing dynamic of a relationship, they are yours and you need to figure how to deal with them and do what it takes to make it work and keep her happy.

I think I started to hobby because I thought my SO was not being faithful and it bothered me each time she looked at guys with flirty eyes...it just kept growing and a knew that I needed to something drastic to deal with my deficiency.. and thus it worked. In my head I have the feeling that one day I will find out and I know one day that I will need to prepare myself for when it does come. I have been very good in the past with the 6th sense of people and pretty sure something happened. I could be wrong but I know I can look myself in the mirror and know I am living the life and making others happy even though it is laced with lies.

Hope this helps :D

I think the best would be to have an open relationship

sorry but even filet mignon and fine wine every day gets dull.....
 

wigglee

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Oct 13, 2010
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Some of my most fondest clients are married and I love the fact that every time we get together theres never any stress for wanting more then business
But I don't want to talk about being a sp. I just want to know why guys cheat when they have it good ?
Even though we love our wives as a life partner, we still crave variety and the thrill of raw sex without any other baggage involved. "Cheating" is just a moralist term. We don't call ourselves cheaters for trying new cuisine... we are just living a full life. Discretion is a must though for obvious reasons. Many couples are now agreeing to have open relationships or ethical non-monogamy ( another moralist term ), but if your partner is not willing to do that, your choice is "cheat", get divorced or be frustrated.
 

kkelso

Well-known member
Apr 27, 2003
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Even though we love our wives as a life partner, we still crave variety and the thrill of raw sex without any other baggage involved. "Cheating" is just a moralist term. We don't call ourselves cheaters for trying new cuisine... we are just living a full life. Discretion is a must though for obvious reasons. Many couples are now agreeing to have open relationships or ethical non-monogamy ( another moralist term ), but if your partner is not willing to do that, your choice is "cheat", get divorced or be frustrated.
I'm early 50's and in my age range the "un-open" relationship seems to be far more common, and for the most part effective. The wife strongly suspects, and even grudgingly accepts, that the husband makes an occasional foray into extra-marital sex. The husband indulges in flings or SPs while away on business trips or while the wife is out of town. All sprinkled with a healthy dose of denial.

This appears to work well until one of two things happens. The husband allows himself to be distracted from his duties as a provider and father. The wife does not have a full enough life outside of her relationship with the husband (kids, work, extended family) and gets to feeling bored and/or unappreciated.

KK
 
Jun 11, 2007
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Maybe we are all cheaters maybe we were born to cheat
Your original question supposes we, as a species, are meant to be monogamous. Study after study has said we aren't.

My question is, how do you define cheating? Is it an entire emotional relationship cheating, or just fucking someone else when the opportunity presented itself? Maybe the way you see the equation is the problem. You're expecting your partner to eat steak every night of his life.

Another problem that we as humans have, is that most of us see a relationship that doesn't end in death as a failure. Maybe we meet and partner with someone, and as our needs change, need to find a new partner to fulfill those needs?

We have been raised to believe that you meet someone, marry, have kids, grow old, and die. How many people is that the reality for?
 

Titalian

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Nov 27, 2012
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^^This, the husband may also stray if he sees that his wife looses her own sense of self, she is no longer interesting to him
That is some tush, you have there Natasha. And you needn't worry, in my case I wouldn't be cheating. :D
 

jcpro

Well-known member
Jan 31, 2014
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Re: on having an open relationship...

It's good to remind ourselves that we are social beings who co-exist in a society with certain societal "norms, beliefs and systems" that were all created by human beings to have some sort of organization and a way of life. Sort of like religion or politics.

Marriage and relationships are supposed to be monogamous (by cultural standards, and even those vary). But is it human nature to be monogamous? For some people who have been taught to be loyal and see no other way of living - yes. But NOVELTY for human beings is a natural NEED. We crave it.

Cheating is considered wrong, we have been taught to react to it a certain way - usually negatively.

So in my opinion, there is nothing you can do to stop a man from cheating, but decide for yourself whether you would accept it for what it is or be single.

My two cents.
Cheating is wrong by its very definition. If you make a choice and commit yourself to monogamy, cheating might seem as a good solution, but the consequences of discovery are too much to contemplate. There are plenty of men who don't cheat, so something can stop men from cheating. Integrity, maybe?
 
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