How do you decide??

[player coach]

Ok, so I really dont have anywhere else to turn so I decided maybe I can get advice here. Ill try and shorten the story. I started a relatioship with a girl who wasnt available when we first started. I gave her an ultimatum to leave her relationship by a deadline....she tried but did it later than what I wanted but she did leave. After the deadline, I met someone else. So for the past little while, they have both been in my life. I cannot go on leading this type of life so I have asked both of them that I need time to think about what I want. One girl has literally torn her life upside down for me and so there is abit of guilt there. I have been trying to reflect over the past few days and I cannot decide who I really like. Both are really great and both like me. How do I go about this??? Im looking for honest real advice and if we can keep the jokes to a minimum, that would be great.


player coach

 

[LKD]

That's a tough situation to be in. If i were in your shoes, I'd take both, but that's not what you want. So what I'd do is, just to be fair to both girls, flip a coin to see which one you should be with. To not leave the other hanging, hook her up with a good friend who you trust and think will be a good match.

 

[shack]

I agree. It's a very tough situation. Hopefully, they're both great women and you can't go wrong.

All other things being equal, there's the tried and true male decision making process. Pick the one with bigger tits.

Honestly, though, hope you make the right choice.

 

[tboy]

Morale of the story: never turn your life upside down for a member of the opposite sex and never ask someone to.

 

[Bare.50]

This may sound like relationship suicide. But try showing each one your bad side. Depending on how they handel it may help your decision.

Not an easy position to be in.

Good luck

Bare

 

[CapitalGuy]

1. All other things being equal, I'd go with the one who turned her life upside down for you. She has shown a deep level of interest and commitment to a relationship with you, and that bodes well for a supportive companion in the future.

2. Have you done the hoaky but effective "write down the pros and cons of each option"? If you can be objective during that exercise, and if you take a long view (ie. think -5 - 10 - 25 years down the road), you may be in for some surprises with what you write down.

3. Since you are on TERB, I assume you are a bit shallow or overly sexual (like the rest of us - not intended as an insult), so....which one has the hotter mom? Seriously, they turn into their moms, so which one is still going to be good looking in 20 years? Typically, the thinner ones last longer. Those fantastic big tits will sag, those voluptuous curves will get bigger and looser and flabbier. The more spinner-like lady is the best bet to stay hot longer. Its a factor, if you're wired a certain way.

4. Have they both met your family? Introduce each of them and see how you get along as a group. That shouldn't be the top factor in your decision but its a big one that could help you decide.

5. The guilt factor should have zero influence. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life (potentially) with someone because you don't want to hurt her feelings?

Tough call I am sure. Good luck.

 

[amber-jade]

tell them about each other..your mind might be made up for you...



.

 

[shack]

Thanks for the laugh Shack! Hope you are doing well and who's your team today???

Nice to see that once in a while somebody apperciates my humour.

Not that I have a great feel for this game, but I'm going with Zona. I had to pick someone because you can't host a Super bowl party without making a bet. Wanna help me clean up the mess afterward?

 

[capncrunch]

Player coach, you're in a bit of a spot.

First of all, let's dispense with some myths right away:

flip a coin to see which one you should be with

Bad idea. Leaving a big decision like this to pure chance is an abrogation of your responsibility.

Your gut never lies

Pure, 100%, unadulterated bullshit. Your gut/intuition/feelings/whatever lies to you all the time. If one's feelings were true all the time, no one would ever make mistakes and the divorce rate wouldn't be approaching 50%.

try showing each one your bad side

Now this actually has a considerable amount of merit. It might be counter-intuitive, but bear with me for a moment.

If one or the other shows signs of bolting the minute things get difficult, then they're probably not going to stick around for the long term.

So how do you go about doing this without being a complete cad?

Well, however you choose to play it, it's going to have to be real; that is, whatever this 'bad side' thing is must be authentic, not some sort of 'bad boy' kind of game.

If it were me, I'd start by discussing finances and let it be known that there is no way on this earth I'd ever live with someone again without an ironclad cohabitation agreement, nor would I get married again without an ironclad pre-nup.

That's just me. And it's not a "bad side," it's simply something that many women resist but it's also authentic (and learned from impoverishing personal experience).

Make sense?

 

[The Bandit]

You gave the first one the ultimatum and moved onto a second woman, now you say you can't decide...are you god's gift to women and think they'll all fall for you, and want you?

You made the mess, and have hurt both of them...you don't deserve either one. JMHO

 

[a 1 player]

Ok, so I really dont have anywhere else to turn so I decided maybe I can get advice here. Ill try and shorten the story. I started a relatioship with a girl who wasnt available when we first started. I gave her an ultimatum to leave her relationship by a deadline....she tried but did it later than what I wanted but she did leave. After the deadline, I met someone else.

Two things I see wrong here...

a) You gave an ultimatum to a woman in a relationship.

b))You had no intention of keeping your word because you then met someone else.

Speaks volumes about your personality.

What would I do? Cut them both loose and try again under an honest pretense.

 

[stang]

Thats a bad situation.
I explain it to them and walk away for a while and then come back to whoever's still there.

 

[player coach]

Wow guys, I have to say some really really good points brought up. Let me see, if I can rebuttle some of them. The truth is I probably dont deserve either one of them but for some reason they both like me(no I do not think i am gods gift to women at all) I should have never started with the one who wasnt available but I did.
2) The one who was in a relatioship(lets call her mary) has the hotter body but the other woman is prettier. For some reason I like having sex with the prettier one over the hot body.
3)Mary's mom is hot at 50 years old.
4)Bigger tits: the other lets call her Janet
5) Janet has met my mom, Mary has not.
6) Mary would never leave me and she is more of a nurturing one. Mary is smarter too, more of a domestic lady as well.
7) Mary comes from some serious money, Janet does not.
8) My gut right now....I have no idea.

 

[Aardvark154]

Morale of the story: never turn your life upside down for a member of the opposite sex and never ask someone to.

It doesn't help the op, but the above is entirely true!

 

[HAMSTER INSPECTOR]

The one that tore her life up for you.......you owe her, dude!

 

[player coach]

The one that tore her life up for you.......you owe her, dude!

See thats what Im thinking...but really does she want to be with someone who isnt completely into her as much as she is into him???

 

[bing]

Two things I see wrong here...

a) You gave an ultimatum to a woman in a relationship.

b))You had no intention of keeping your word because you then met someone else.

Speaks volumes about your personality.

What would I do? Cut them both loose and try again under an honest pretense.

Yup, what he says.

 

[tboy]

See thats what Im thinking...but really does she want to be with someone who isnt completely into her as much as she is into him???

Well, I feel it is pretty much impossible for two people to feel exactly the same towards each other at exactly the same time. IMO all relationships ebb and flow and you can be more in love with someone one day, then not so much the next. The only time there's a problem is if you never get that love back (and then it's time to go).

I think that's the part of the word "commitment" that many overlook. They expect to be madly hopelessly endlessly in love with the other person every waking (and sleeping) moment which just isn't realistic....