Captain Fantastic said:All I'm saying is that more women are more willing to look past the physical than most men, particulary guys who have been promised the Playboy-bunny, supermodel-esque girl of their dreams. Those types and guys who exclusively "hobby" have artificial notions of what the female form is. I find women to be much more pragmatic about these things than men. But I'm not bitter and jaded, so I guess that makes my point invalid...
Captain, I think one of the points perhaps getting lost in the shuffle here is the whole ideal vs settle aspect. Yes, women are influenced by A&F posters, Chick Lit movies, etc. Many women don't like guys who like SciFi movies, but the Chick Lit films like "My Best Friend's Wedding" are just as much an excercise in fantasy as watching "Star Wars". Guy is alwsys rich, but doesn't dwell on money. Guy has a job, but it is a part-time come as one likes job and he is always available to be with her whenever she calls, or go on long trips whenever it is desired. The job, well that can be resumed whenever it is conveient lol. This is the female fantast, whereas the male fantasy is that girls are all Playboy models who want sex whenever her b/f wants it, but disappear to hang out with her friends, shop, etc whenever he is busy.
The thing is, most women, while they like A&F models (I carried an A&F soft porn shopping bag through Sherway Gardens as an experiement once and every woman I passed under 30 checked out the shirtless dude on the bag, often with longing looks, and then gave me the once over as well afterward) do settle for a more average guy and are happy to do so IF he makes them feel good, happy, boosts their self-confidence, is fun to be with, etc. If you read the article I posted yesterday about that Times writer who said that in Cosmo mag women in survey's say they want a guy who loves them for who they are (over 80%) and penis size is only an issue for 5%.
Yes, appearance is a consideration for women, from a eugenics point of view they are subconsciously assessing if they want their future offspring to have those physical traits. But, they will settle for less than Brad Pitt on that score as other factors play into the biological equation, such as "Does he have money/job prospects to ensure security for my offspring", and, most of all, "Does he really love me for who I am so he will stay with me and not spurn me for next years model if I put on 20 lbs?". Also the "Is he a decent man who would be good father material" is in there too. Women can't help but think of these things.
Now, sure, a girl in general demand because she is in her early 20's and hot and has no kids can be more seective of appearance in men, and often is. When I was in my early 20's I dated the hottest girl in my class, and I was no Brad Pitt because she happened to not like jocks and did like my type of guy. Still, it depends on the girl in question. Some like dating Jocks (and some really don't), some like dating older guys who have money, some like dating artsy film buffs, some like goths...some like bad boys, some like nice guys...they are types they graviatate to, yes. Within the type of guy, personality matters.
Guys are more obsessed with looks than girls are. If I say "I;m dating a new girl" to my male friends the first (and often only) question is "Is she hot? (What does she look like?)" Now, when I tell a female friend I'm dating a new girl she asks "What is she like (personality wise)?" "Where did you meeet her?" "Does she like the same things you like?" "Is she fun to be with?" "Is she looking for casual dating or a relationship?" Maybe about the sixth or seventh question is "How old is she" or "Is she a student" but the "is she hot"/sexy/appearance questions are so far down the list they don't usually get asked at all...the friend will eventually ask to see a photo of the girl and will make her silent assessment from that.
At the end of the day women are just as frustrated dating as men are.
