Got a complaint at work

[poorboy]

So I moved from the field to the office after almost 6 years, and had to buy new clothes. Rosen's gave me two blue pants by mistake, one midnight blue, the other navy blue instead of a black and midnight blue pair.

I asked a secretary at work if my pants looked blue or black because I wasn't sure, and then figured out they were blue after talking to her. Two weeks later, I get my black pair and when I see her walking by, tell her I got my pants sorted out and had a black pair now.

She complains to the boss about it, and I got sat down and was given an informal talk about the appropriateness of my conversation.

What the hell? It's not like I asked her if my butt looked good or anything. I was just making small talk.

 

[harryass]

did you find her attractive?
perhaps you had woodie standing at attention when she looked at your pants

 

[goldfinger]

or by chance your new pants had a broken ziper....

 

[poorboy]

There's no more to this. She's not that attractive and looks like she's pregnant, but it's just extra weight. I found it amusing, but my supervisor not so much.

 

[harryass]

did you maybe touch her during your talk?

did you congrats her on the pregnacy? and she is in fact not prego?

 

[MrBingo]

maybe she caught u staring @ her breasts while u were talking to her.

 

[FatOne]

If there is really nothing more to it, nail her for harassment. She turned a normal conversation into something sexual thus creating a hostile work environment for you.

If there is nothing more to it.

Of course this would never work because you have a penis and are automatically wrong.

 

[afterhours]

There's no more to this. She's not that attractive and looks like she's pregnant, but it's just extra weight. I found it amusing, but my supervisor not so much.

you should not talk to fat women unless you absolutely need to

 

[GPIDEAL]

Did they tell you what was so inappropriate about your conversation with her about your pants?

 

[stinkynuts]

The keywords are: "I have a black pair now."

Seems to me poorboy was trying to have fun with a sexual pun, and the secretary rightfully was offended.

I don't know the specifics, but there could have been more. Otherwise the boss would not have sided with the secretary and sat poorboy down...

Just what I gather from this limited info.

 

[Nickelodeon]

you should not talk to fat women unless you absolutely need to

Best advice offered so far.

 

[Ceiling Cat]

Get a copy of the complaint, get disclosure of her statements. Know how much shit you are in. She could be suing the company for work place harassment. Did you Clinton her dress?

 

[Hangman]

This sounds like bullshit, and I think you should follow the above advice to get the precise nature of the complaint and consider filing a complaint of your own re hostile work environment. It has possibly damaged your reputation and you need to protect that.

Its bullshit to have to do this kind of shit, but I find with harassment complaints, the decision goes to whomever is more tenacious and willing to push hardest and file the most paper.

Also, you need to make it clear that because of the nature of the complaint and the fact that you do not understand her issue, you require the complaint in writing, and suggest that she have no further communication with you without a 3rd party present, for her own peace of mind and well-being. (Assuming you're more valuable to the company than this receptionist). Otherwise do not speak or communicate with her in any way.

 

[oldjones]

Why would you imagine she would remember—let alone care to be reminded of—your pants problem after a two week interval? Reads to me like you're less skilled about opening personal conversations than you think. She obviously thought you went over the line, when you only thought you were passing on fascinating details. And on that note, I'd say way too much info, of no real interest.

While she may have over-reacted by going to the boss, instead of telling you to keep that unwanted pants-news to yourself, you missed the boat by not immediately telling the boss, then her how sorry you were to have given offence unknowingly. I cannot imagine how you can have a comfy work-life there without getting that across. Stop wasting time getting us to tell you how right you are.

 

[Roger Melon]

Stop wasting time getting us to tell you how right you are.

Bullshit.
You absolutely have to defend yourself aggressively here, otherwise you are basically admitting guilt, and this kind of nonsense can follow you around for the rest of your career. Follow all the steps Hangman and others have outlined. I suggest you consult an attorney and let your employer know you have done so, and are prepared to take whatever legal action is required to have all this expunged from your work record.

 

[oldjones]

By all means defend yourself at work, if that's what your thinking is, but like a bar fight, you gotta win by making the other guy lose. And letting the time go by is fatal, with a fight or an apology. So I say again, for Roger and others who missed it:

Stop wasting time getting us[emphasis added] to tell you how right you are.

To the OP: Your issue is at work, not here. Still way better to admit you goofed, and a silly misunderstanding got outta hand.

This is after all about the difference between navy blue and black, and the OP imagining anyone cared. The smaller he can make it the better.

 

[rld]

Starting a counter offensive over this is a great way to dead end your career at the company. Do you really want to be known as that guy?

After the lecture just say, "I have a different perception of those events, but I understand what you are saying." Then shut up and go back to work.

And stay away from that person.

 

[james t kirk]

Starting a counter offensive over this is a great way to dead end your career at the company. Do you really want to be known as that guy?

After the lecture just say, "I have a different perception of those events, but I understand what you are saying." Then shut up and go back to work.

And stay away from that person.

Ding ding ding.

We have a man with a brain and the best advice so far.

From now on - stick to work conversations with women at work. The days of Don Draper are long gone and they are not coming back. Even the slightest of inappropriate comments can be career limiting. So grow the fuck up and learn to keep the conversation keyed to work and work only. If you want to chit chat with women - do it at the bar with women you don't work with.

Reading your post - here's how I take it.

She was not comfortable with the conversation and made the effort to report it (and you) to HR. HR then took a report and reported it to your boss. Your boss then sat down with the HR crowd and had one of those, "what do we do about this" conversations. It was back and forth and probably more people than you could imagine got involved. So they told your boss, "speak to him and make sure he understands". Odds are there is now a note on your file. If something similar happens - you're probably gone. To make matters even worse - your boss was put in the position of having an extremely uncomfortable discussion with you that he'd rather not have. (He has better things to do I'm sure.) By your own words, "I found it amusing, my supervisor not so much" Right off the bat - it tells you he's pissed off at you for a) being so dumb, and b) putting him in this postion.

You would do well to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

From now on, no more personal conversations with women you work with- keep it in your pants.


BTW, I don't think you should be repeatedly discussing your pants with a female co-worker.

 

[whobee]

Women can pretty much talk about anything or anyone at the office, men can't.
I disagree that you shouldn't make small talk with people at work, but I'd mind your audience and subject matter. If a woman asked you what colour they are it would be reasonable to say you're not really sure but you think they're either blue/black (or whatever) but I would wait for the question to be asked rather than initiating that particular conversation.

 

[doggystyle99]

There's no more to this. She's not that attractive and looks like she's pregnant, but it's just extra weight. I found it amusing, but my supervisor not so much.

Its always the fat ugly ones that think you are hitting on them and complain to HR.