Got a complaint at work

[oil&gas]

It isn't a long time ago when patting a female co-worker
on her bum was acceptable as a friendly gesture. Remember John
Turner our ex-PM was very good at that. Now we can get into
trouble even when no physical contact is involved. Talk about
gender equality.

 

[Thunderballs]

Here is my advice:
1. Tell your manager that you have had time to think about this and want to get a few things straight before letting it go. This is a natural reaction and is not over the top. Bear in mind that Ceiling Cat is living with some very funky asbestos in that ceiling.
2. Ask if he has documented anything in your file about this. If he has, ask to see it so that you can respond to the contents of your file with your own written statement. Bear in mind that he is under no obligation to let you see your file as this is the company's file not yours. For those who would argue with this, go to law school.
3. If there is something in your file, then prepare a written response to the complaint in your file and ask that your manager include it in your file. If you are not allowed to see the complaint, then just outline in writing your version of the events.
4. If there is nothing in your file, tell your manager that you are fine with letting it go and that based on this incident, you will limit yourself to just having professional and minimal interaction with this individual.
5. It sounds like your manager wants to just let it go - probably because he has better things to do. If he has truly handled it informally, then so should you. Most harassment policies have a vexatious claim clause but triggering this puts everything under a microscope.
6. If at some point an investigation is launched (unlikely), then lawyer up and tell them you want counsel present for all meetings.
7. Finally, think twice about what you say to women in the office. Unfortunately you have to err on the side of caution these days. So don't say "Nice cans" unless she is holding two cans of your favorite beer. Cheers!

 

[Jennifer_]

Mind if I masturbate to your new pic?

Haha- you're free to take advantage of my cheesy iPhone pic hopefully I'll have a better selection of non-iPhone pics soon.

I sympathize with the OP ~ you were probably just making innocent small-talk... I'd probably do the same... It sucks when you realize not everyone is able to see your friendly nature for what it actually is....

 

[HOF]

Here is my advice:
1. Tell your manager that you have had time to think about this and want to get a few things straight before letting it go. This is a natural reaction and is not over the top. Bear in mind that Ceiling Cat is living with some very funky asbestos in that ceiling.
2. Ask if he has documented anything in your file about this. If he has, ask to see it so that you can respond to the contents of your file with your own written statement. Bear in mind that he is under no obligation to let you see your file as this is the company's file not yours. For those who would argue with this, go to law school.
3. If there is something in your file, then prepare a written response to the complaint in your file and ask that your manager include it in your file. If you are not allowed to see the complaint, then just outline in writing your version of the events.
4. If there is nothing in your file, tell your manager that you are fine with letting it go and that based on this incident, you will limit yourself to just having professional and minimal interaction with this individual.
5. It sounds like your manager wants to just let it go - probably because he has better things to do. If he has truly handled it informally, then so should you. Most harassment policies have a vexatious claim clause but triggering this puts everything under a microscope.
6. If at some point an investigation is launched (unlikely), then lawyer up and tell them you want counsel present for all meetings.
7. Finally, think twice about what you say to women in the office. Unfortunately you have to err on the side of caution these days. So don't say "Nice cans" unless she is holding two cans of your favorite beer. Cheers!

Which law school did you go to, and which firm do you work for?

You are completely wrong with that remark. An employee has the right to request to see his/her personell file from human resources and direct supervisor. The request should be put in writing and the request should be honoured within 48 hours along with the time to check it in a private area. An employee is required to read and understand any public or private employees policies and procedures manual. Often, it is to be done annually and documented that the employee has done so; I mention this because all public or private employers have to complete annual appraisals which the employee has the right to have a copy. In fact, a former employee has the right to see his/her personell file.

Ontario has laws for the workplace regarding:
Workplace violence
Sexual harassment
Harassment
Poisonous environment
Reprisals in the workplace

Join a union, contact the office of the privacy comissioner, human rights tribunal, ministry of labour and read your collective agreement.

My comment to poorboy:
When the first incident occured, why not ask your supervisor to bring her in and simply resolve the issue like adults?

Working for any level of government doesn't ensure security, please don't kid yourself. Progressive dismissal can be foregone if there are significant complaints regarding any type of harassment.

Handle this situation the best that you can.

 

[sidebanger]

An employee has the right to request to see his/her personell file

It is "personnel" not "personell". This mistake hints at your lack of knowledge in this field. The rest of your post confirms it. Please don't post anything resembling advice regarding this subject.

 

[Davenash2]

Haha- you're free to take advantage of my cheesy iPhone pic hopefully I'll have a better selection of non-iPhone pics soon

Jen is hot! Love the pic too. I can't wait to see you sometime. Been to long. I suggest you get Jen to take care of business than doing it yourself...:Eek:

 

[fmahovalich]

TO the OP....

could it be that you are maybe a little bit creepy...sweaty with small beady eyes..who makes unwanted small talk around the office for years....

And that this lady FINALLY decided that it was time to nip it in the bud...now that you are inside and making her life even more uncmfortable than when you were in the field!

Perhaps she sees you as a gnat and wants to draw the line in the sand!

Let it go. FORGET all about it and SAY NOTHING EVER AGAIN TO HER!!

 

[djk]

The OP said that the woman made accusations.

Quote :

She complains to the boss about it, and I got sat down and was given an informal talk about the appropriateness of my conversation.



The disclosure of the accusations in writing, and statements from co-workers are for his own protections. In these matters, things that are said in the office today can be twisted and contorted into something ugly tommorow. With the disclosure of charges in writing you only need to defend what is put on paper. Personally if I was accused in an office and later found innocent, I would no longer want to work in the same office with that woman. I might want to have her fired.

Most people treat women as harmless dainty little things. If he were to run around asking for people to make statements after the first encounter, he'd look like a paranoid nutbag to most observers.

 

[Ceiling Cat]

Most people treat women as harmless dainty little things. If he were to run around asking for people to make statements after the first encounter, he'd look like a paranoid nutbag to most observers.

The accusation has already been made. I will bet you that if you consulted a lawyer. he would tell you to get the facts straight and all the ammo you can gather up.

 

[GG2]

Stop jerking off in the coed washroom

 

[bobistheowl]

...When the first incident occured, why not ask your supervisor to bring her in and simply resolve the issue like adults?...

This is what should be done, but the modern style of middle management is to grease the squeaky wheel by appeasing the complainant. There is legitimate harassment in workplaces, but there are also a lot of passive-aggressive complaints by individuals who seek an upper hand in matters that would be deemed trivial by most mature adults. If we're getting the whole story from poorboy, this sounds like one of those cases. It's not a whole lot different from the sort of people who call the police because a neighbour's dog is in their backyard.

 

[Hip]

I am reminded of Professor Richard Hummel of the University of Toronto. In the fall of 1988 a female part-time student complained that 60-year-old Hummel "stared at her" while they both swam in a pool at the University of Toronto.

The university's official policy on sexual harassment requires mediation of such complaints but this student demanded a formal hearing with no attempt at mediation, and Sexual Harassment officer Nancy Adamson complied. It has been suggested that the reason she skipped a few steps of the required procedure was that her first annual report was nearly due, and she had no other activity to report.

Whatever the reason for the hearing Hummel was convicted, barred from the university's recreation complex for five years, and ordered to counselling approved by the sexual harassment officer.

The case became a laughing stock because the student had charged that Hummel stared at her while they were both swimming, which is obviously impossible, but the effects were not funny.

Hummel's name had been smeared and he was the victim of a hate campaign which included vicious graffiti (one said "poke his eyes out") and someone stuck pins in the tires of his bicycle. He tried to take his case to a real court but when the court date approached Adamson took a six-month vacation in Tahiti and was not available to testify.

As Hummel fought to regain his reputation the University of Toronto administration fought back. After several years of bitter feuding Hummel accepted early retirement. The case cost the university hundreds of thousands of dollars -- perhaps millions -- and the services of a senior professor.

At the time I knew a few students at U of T who knew the part time student who complained. They all agreed she was an anti social crackpot. Still, look at the damage these kinds of complaints can do. All I can say is, if you ever become the target of one of these people, and you hold a position worth protecting, then protect yourself. Document all actions. Retain counsel.

 

[poorboy]

Thanks for the advice

Thanks for the advice. Here's what I have found out and what I am doing about it.

There is nothing written down on paper. It is a verbal conversation reminding me to watch my p's and q's

I have a notebook where I have recorded these two incidents. So far, only 2 entries.

I told my supervisor about how ridiculous this claim was, and told him about the hole punch incident with the manager when he was away to reinforce that that the other person may be overly sensitive, and he backed off slightly saying she may not be a good example to use, but that I should still be very concious about what I say to other people.

The focus is on me for the next bit, being new. I seriously think not being married and single at 40 is starting to become a problem. Their are wierder guys in the office but are married. There's one guy who walks around with a zombie killer badge sewn on his jacket and looks like Uncle Fester, another guy who is extremely introverted and only speaks to someone when spoken to (hired because his dad is a senior executive) and some roid monkey who looks like if you say the wrong thing to him will rip your arms out of your sockets. Despite this, the women all think he's hot though because he's tall and extremely fit.

It also appears to be a very poisonous environment where people like to gossip. My supervisor seems to want to mitigate this, and I also don't care to participate in it.

There's a good guy I have found that seems genuine after getting to know him after striking up a conversation about his Free Mason ring, and I'll think I'll just stick to socializing with him.

 

[djk]

Thanks for the advice. Here's what I have found out and what I am doing about it.

There is nothing written down on paper. It is a verbal conversation reminding me to watch my p's and q's

I have a notebook where I have recorded these two incidents. So far, only 2 entries.

I told my supervisor about how ridiculous this claim was, and told him about the hole punch incident with the manager when he was away to reinforce that that the other person may be overly sensitive, and he backed off slightly saying she may not be a good example to use, but that I should still be very concious about what I say to other people.

The focus is on me for the next bit, being new. I seriously think not being married and single at 40 is starting to become a problem. Their are wierder guys in the office but are married. There's one guy who walks around with a zombie killer badge sewn on his jacket and looks like Uncle Fester, another guy who is extremely introverted and only speaks to someone when spoken to (hired because his dad is a senior executive) and some roid monkey who looks like if you say the wrong thing to him will rip your arms out of your sockets. Despite this, the women all think he's hot though because he's tall and extremely fit.

It also appears to be a very poisonous environment where people like to gossip. My supervisor seems to want to mitigate this, and I also don't care to participate in it.

There's a good guy I have found that seems genuine after getting to know him after striking up a conversation about his Free Mason ring, and I'll think I'll just stick to socializing with him.

People are such herd animals. Are you an introvert yourself? I am and I got a bunch of shit about it from others at work. Extroverts (which are about 80%-90% of the population) can't bend their mind around the concept of the introvert.

Luckily, I'm not antisocial, so I just made an effort to make small talk with my co-workers. My motivation was justifying to myself that ultimately what I was doing was in my self-interest and I would reap the benefits. It worked, co-workers are friendly, they have my back and there's no distractions.

I also read different websites on psychology, specifically communication and how people think to help me.

http://www.changingminds.org/
http://www.daygamer.net/2011/03/05/good-article-on-how-to-be-persuasive/
http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2010/11/21/bill-clinton-reality-distortion-field/

The second and third links are golden. I've used the techniques there many times to win people over.

 

[assholee]

People are such herd animals. Are you an introvert yourself? I am and I got a bunch of shit about it from others at work. Extroverts (which are about 80%-90% of the population) can't bend their mind around the concept of the introvert.

Luckily, I'm not antisocial, so I just made an effort to make small talk with my co-workers. My motivation was justifying to myself that ultimately what I was doing was in my self-interest and I would reap the benefits. It worked, co-workers are friendly, they have my back and there's no distractions.

I also read different websites on psychology, specifically communication and how people think to help me.

http://www.changingminds.org/
http://www.daygamer.net/2011/03/05/good-article-on-how-to-be-persuasive/
http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2010/11/21/bill-clinton-reality-distortion-field/

The second and third links are golden. I've used the techniques there many times to win people over.

Yes im an introvert too. Thanks for the links. Checked out the second and third links. Skimmed through the second and I don't really see anything that would help. third link is great though.

 

[djk]

Yes im an introvert too. Thanks for the links. Checked out the second and third links. Skimmed through the second and I don't really see anything that would help. third link is great though.

The second link stresses the importance of playing the emotion / class card when trying to win people over. I've used the tips countless times at work and they usually work.

The first link is great, its a huge site with resources on honing one's persuasion skills. I'd start using it once comfortable with the content in the 2nd and 3rd links.

 

[The Fruity Hare]

Haha- you're free to take advantage of my cheesy iPhone pic hopefully I'll have a better selection of non-iPhone pics soon.

I sympathize with the OP ~ you were probably just making innocent small-talk... I'd probably do the same... It sucks when you realize not everyone is able to see your friendly nature for what it actually is....

Sorry, with a pose like that, it wouldn't matter if it was done with water colours or in crayon, the effect is the same!!

 

[GPIDEAL]

Which law school did you go to, and which firm do you work for?

You are completely wrong with that remark. An employee has the right to request to see his/her personell file from human resources and direct supervisor. The request should be put in writing and the request should be honoured within 48 hours along with the time to check it in a private area. An employee is required to read and understand any public or private employees policies and procedures manual. Often, it is to be done annually and documented that the employee has done so; I mention this because all public or private employers have to complete annual appraisals which the employee has the right to have a copy. In fact, a former employee has the right to see his/her personell file.

Ontario has laws for the workplace regarding:
Workplace violence
Sexual harassment
Harassment
Poisonous environment
Reprisals in the workplace

Join a union, contact the office of the privacy comissioner, human rights tribunal, ministry of labour and read your collective agreement.

My comment to poorboy:
When the first incident occured, why not ask your supervisor to bring her in and simply resolve the issue like adults?

Working for any level of government doesn't ensure security, please don't kid yourself. Progressive dismissal can be foregone if there are significant complaints regarding any type of harassment.

Handle this situation the best that you can.

Generally, I agree with you but where does it say that a private-sector employee HAS to do annual appraisals?

BTW, sometimes Workplace Violence policies are found in a company's Health & Safety Manual, and also include provisions against workplace harrassment and bullying.

Where are the laws against violence, bullying, harrassment, etc. found? In the ESA? Thanks HOF.

 

[GPIDEAL]

I also don't see the point why every post of his has to be in bold red or large font?

Has it ever occurred to you that your continuing use of a RED COMIC font takes away from anything intelligent that may originate from you?

Aside from being irritating, it simply makes you out to be a clown before anyone can take in what you say.

Imagine this guy giving advice on how to keep your job in a professional office

 

[GPIDEAL]

In that case you have a union. File a grievance. Sounds like you work with a bunch of assholes, so why not be one? Only half joking. A grievance would create an official record of your version but will really go nowhere.

It is a half-joke, but half-truth too. A friend of mine in a public sector workplace, was ridiculed and harrassed. He filed a complaint with the union. It got only as far as policy implementation in the next school year, and nobody bugged him again. Probably as good a result as he could expect. I couldn't believe the childishness of those involved, and they teach!