Good Pun Fun
- Thread starter great bear
- Start date
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward, he asked her how she liked the game.
"I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'"
"I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'"
A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here."
"You don't understand," says the man. "This is no regular dog, he can talk."
"Listen, pal," says the bartender. "If that dog can talk, I'll give you 100 bucks."
The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?"
"Roof!"
"Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?"
"Bark!"
"And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?"
"Ruth!"
"I guess you've heard enough," says the man. "I'll take the 100 in 20s."
The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you."
As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said DiMaggio?"
"You don't understand," says the man. "This is no regular dog, he can talk."
"Listen, pal," says the bartender. "If that dog can talk, I'll give you 100 bucks."
The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?"
"Roof!"
"Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?"
"Bark!"
"And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?"
"Ruth!"
"I guess you've heard enough," says the man. "I'll take the 100 in 20s."
The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you."
As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said DiMaggio?"
Two gay guys are sitting at the bar. The second one says "you should move closer. can I push in your stool?".
Little Johnny Shitdisturber is sitting in class during spelling lessons.
Teacher asks, " Can anyone spell ear?"
Little Suzie stands up and says, "I can! H-E-A-R"
Teacher replies, "Sorry, thats hear, I want someone to spell ear."
Little Johnny Shitdisturber stands up and says, "I can! E-A-R"
Teacher replies, "Very good Johnny, can you use it in a sentence?"
Little Johnny says sure. Pulls out a joint, takes a super deep drag, holds it in,
passes the joint to the teacher and says "Ear."
Teacher asks, " Can anyone spell ear?"
Little Suzie stands up and says, "I can! H-E-A-R"
Teacher replies, "Sorry, thats hear, I want someone to spell ear."
Little Johnny Shitdisturber stands up and says, "I can! E-A-R"
Teacher replies, "Very good Johnny, can you use it in a sentence?"
Little Johnny says sure. Pulls out a joint, takes a super deep drag, holds it in,
passes the joint to the teacher and says "Ear."
some funny ones, but for reference for a few terbites here.
A pun (or paronomasia) is a phrase that deliberately exploits confusion between similar-sounding words for humorous or rhetorical effect.
A pun may also exploit confusion between two senses of the same written or spoken word, due to homophony, homography, homonymy, polysemy, or metaphorical usage.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pun
A pun (or paronomasia) is a phrase that deliberately exploits confusion between similar-sounding words for humorous or rhetorical effect.
A pun may also exploit confusion between two senses of the same written or spoken word, due to homophony, homography, homonymy, polysemy, or metaphorical usage.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pun
red said:
That would depend on what phase err phrase the moon was in.
The pun. Humour at the turn of a phrase. Generally good unless it's some lame ass attempt by that bear who frequents the board. Thankfully papa has morphed him into a floor covering. was a bare floor, now a floor bear.
A man had suffered from vertigo all his life. Finally they came up with a cure and he arranged to go out on a date with a beautiful girl to celebrate. The day of the date arrived and as he was getting dressed she called to cancel. The phone rang again, and his friend asked him what he was doing.
He replied:
I'm all dressed up with no vertigo.
He replied:
I'm all dressed up with no vertigo.
trisket said:Why can't evil people have saxophones?
Because then the terrorists woodwind.
We'tt get to you Sousa we can.
Neverenuff$ said:
The punners seem to be MIA lately.
Where the hell did LFIATT go, he generally joins in an any punfest going.
Hopefully he didn't get hit in the crossfire as papa took out GB.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
