Good Pun Fun

[great bear]

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

 

[LancsLad]

A sandwich walks into a bar.


Bartender looks at him and says " Get out buddy, we don't serve food here".

 

[great bear]

A lion approaches a female tiger and tells her "your amazing, your beautiful, I think I love you". The female tiger looks at him and says "Ahh, your just lion again".

 

[LancsLad]

A man rushes through the door into a bar.



Gets a really bad gash on his forehead.


.

 

[DATYdude]

Guy walks into a bar, asks "Do you serve shrimp?"

Bartender: Sit down shorty, we serve anybody.

 

[DATYdude]

Two peanuts were ealking down the street.

One was assaulted.

 

[hairyfucker]

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.

Then it hit me.

 

[DATYdude]

Piece of string walks into a bar. Bartender says "Get out, we won't serve drinks to a piece of string."

Piece of string leaves, goes to a nearby alley and tries to disguise himself by messing up his hair. Goes back into the bar.

Bartender says "Hey aren't you that piece of string who was just in here?"

Piece of String: I'm a frayed knot.

 

[Neverenuff$]

two Irish guys walk out of a bar....

Hey . it could happen..

 

[Shades]

Bald man walks into a tattoo parlour and asks to have some rabbits tattooed on his forehead.
He always wanted a hareline.

 

[bobistheowl]

Two guys are canoeing across a desert. The guy in the back says "Where's your paddle". The guy in the front says "Sure does".

 

[bobistheowl]

Two Shiners meet for the first time on several years. The first one says "Hey, I know you. I don't remember your name, but your fez is familiar".

 

[bobistheowl]

A man has a rare illness that doctor's have been unable to cure. He is referred to a voodoo shaman, who gives him a woman's undergarment, and tells him to eat a piece of it each day for a week, and his illness will be cured. After a week, the man returns to the shaman and says "The thong is gone, but the malady lingers".

 

[LancsLad]

A priest,a rabbi and a penguin walk into a bar.


Bartender looks at them and says " Whats this, some kind of joke??"

 

[simontemplar]

Piece of string walks into a bar. Bartender says "Get out, we won't serve drinks to a piece of string."

Piece of string leaves, goes to a nearby alley and tries to disguise himself by messing up his hair. Goes back into the bar.

Bartender says "Hey aren't you that piece of string who was just in here?"

Piece of String: I'm a frayed knot.

nice one!

 

[papasmerf]

So a hunter find a bear carpping in the woods...........I got the rug for less then 200...........

Ok not funny but a great deal.

 

[lusciouslin33]

Fish runs into a wall and says, "Damn!"

 

[lusciouslin33]

Buddha walks up to a hotdog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

 

[papasmerf]

An Brittin walks into a bar..who didn't see that comming....

 

[Esco!]

A sandwich walks into a bar.


Bartender looks at him and says " Get out buddy, we don't serve food here".

I'm offended by that