Wondering where I've been?
I was out yesterday celebrating the politics of freedom of choice and sexuality, so I'm a little slow on the draw here.
We are capable of sexualizing anything. However, that doesn’t mean that we should. I will separate golden and brown showers here, but the truth remains for both. However, the urgency is significantly more apparent for brown showers, and is mostly why I find it necessary to post at all.
It is important to recognize that certain underlying needs are being met in these forms of personal sexual expression – that is what makes the experience satisfying. To each his own, and money will find you anything, but if these forms of play are necessary for sexual satisfaction, something is wrong with your psychological picture - you have a need that is not being met.
While I try to be non-judgmental, the truth is that sexual behaviour is not an acceptable or appropriate substitute for dealing head-on with your own issues. It might be okay to play these things out in a guided sexual scenario as part of a therapeutic or cathartic psychodrama — if you know that is what you are doing. But, do not try to fool yourself into thinking that freedom of sexual expression alone is sufficient as an excuse to allow you to stay in denial.
There is much intrigue in the golden shower: the warmth alone is enticing, although its interest as a sexual accessory aside from the warmth are all involved with power and control. Nonetheless, it is not a harmful practice, so if you want to go blindly ahead, so be it (Although I still suggest trying tease out whether an ejaculatory response wouldn't be a happier encounter) I cannot say the same of brown showers.
As long as you are staying within the bounds of health — which is true of sterile urine, and not true of scat -— you can indulge, but these are signs of issues that need to be addressed. Answer them. Grow up and take some responsibility for your actions: recognize that your behaviour speaks of your true self, and start spending your money and energy in healthy, growing encounters, rather than wallowing in the depths of denial Spend the next $1,000 on a counsellor.
Let us try to stop saying that using our sexuality to fulfill fundamental mental health needs is an acceptable alternative to dealing with ourselves. If you are going to use sexual encounters to gratify emotional deficits, make sure you do so responsibly and effectively; know it and make sure you are working with someone who is trained, experienced, and expert at achieving these goals.
And then lets go back to having fun with sex for itself, because it feels good, instead of fulfilling psychological needs.
