Do you ever get emotionally attached to SP's? It seems to me that it can happen quite easily, especially with SP's who offer GFE. You can get the mistaken impression that they like you and that you are something special to them when in fact you're only a paying customer. How do you handle this? Any experiences, warning signs, remedies, etc.?
Emotional Attachments
- Thread starter Tip-Drill
- Start date
Tip-Drill said:
I bolded the key part above. A good way is to remember you are paying and "its all part of the show". If I think i'm getting too interested, I stay away for a few weeks, See someone else.
A few MP/SPs have told me that they were falling for me, etc. All part of the show. The only one I really believed was the one who wouldn't take my money. Nobody else does that since her, so it helps me remember its a business relationship. Fun business but just business.
O
OnTheWayOut
Ax be da man!
Got to agree with Ax .... if they don't want your money, that's the true sign they could be crazy about you and not just crazy about your money
Got to agree with Ax .... if they don't want your money, that's the true sign they could be crazy about you and not just crazy about your money
Interesting question, easily answered by the fact that you're paying for that service. However, how confusing is it if the girl gives you GFE for no extra charge? Or even worse, she gives you GFE and gives you a discount?
I've had situations where the SP all of a sudden gave me a GFE, without me ever asking her, and without her asking for any more money and I spent the rest of the time wondering what it all meant. Were we at a new level in our "relationship"? Is that a hint of something bigger that she wants? Etc.
This entire business is booby-trapped with all kinds of emotional roadside bombs, for both the providers and the customers. Trying to stay detached is quite hard.
I've had situations where the SP all of a sudden gave me a GFE, without me ever asking her, and without her asking for any more money and I spent the rest of the time wondering what it all meant. Were we at a new level in our "relationship"? Is that a hint of something bigger that she wants? Etc.
This entire business is booby-trapped with all kinds of emotional roadside bombs, for both the providers and the customers. Trying to stay detached is quite hard.
Tip-Drill said:
If you do get emotionally attached, do not tell the SP about it; some girls are ok and nice and will bring you back to reality by mentioning that it is only a business relationship; but some others are mean and can get you into trouble (big trouble): they will probably use your 'weakness' to take advantage of you. As suggested above, take a break and/or start seeing other SPs: come back to your favorite SP only when you are sure you can handle the 'business relationship'. That being said, there are some real BF-GF relationships between former clients and SPs, but most of them end up failing apparently (after a year or so), usually when the BF can no longer accept the 'work' of his GF, and asks her to quit (which she wouldn't do). A lot of info and real stories on the subject can be found on the Internet.
It haven't happened to me yet. Usually meeting eye candy sp with very little chemistry or average/older looking sp with nice and friendly attitude. No perfect combination that makes me fall for, but I found myself more vulnerable to attach with strippers when I used to frequent visiting playmate couple year ago. My method is to stay away for a bit like dumping your girlfriend for more freedom 
Fortunately my wallet's not fat enough that this is likely to ever happen to me. 
But seriously I could see how it could easily happen when good chemistry develops. I have become quite fond of a particular young lady who I find such a joy to be with, I'm happy to spend hours just talking and laughing together. While she seems to enjoy our time together, and is always sensitive, she is also careful to maintain a respectful distance when it counts. And I'd guess that's the mark of a true profressional. I think it could be said a relationship may be truly friendly but should never be mistaken for romance. I think toughb summed it up beautifully....
...and put like that the hourly donation seems like a real bargain!
It would be really interesting to read some female perspectives, since I'm sure there are many stories of guys who have taken things too far or assumed too much.
But seriously I could see how it could easily happen when good chemistry develops. I have become quite fond of a particular young lady who I find such a joy to be with, I'm happy to spend hours just talking and laughing together. While she seems to enjoy our time together, and is always sensitive, she is also careful to maintain a respectful distance when it counts. And I'd guess that's the mark of a true profressional. I think it could be said a relationship may be truly friendly but should never be mistaken for romance. I think toughb summed it up beautifully....toughb said:
...and put like that the hourly donation seems like a real bargain!
It would be really interesting to read some female perspectives, since I'm sure there are many stories of guys who have taken things too far or assumed too much.
Many thanks for everyone's comments. Many of the above comments hit home with me personally. I got carried away with one lady (about 10 meetings in three months) and I lost sight of the reality of the situation. However, I'm back to reality now and without any emotional baggage.
I guess that in the everyday world as well as in the SP, MP & SC worlds some people tend to become emotionally attached much more easily than others and I realize now that I'm one of those people. In addition, I've had some absolutely disastrous financial experiences with a few young ladies (students) who I met on Internet dating sites and I can see now that it was my innate emotional weakness that caused me to open my wallet too wide. Sigmund Freud would probably have a lot to say about all of this ..... Anyway, I'm much better prepared now for the next encounter .... at least I hope I am ....
I guess that in the everyday world as well as in the SP, MP & SC worlds some people tend to become emotionally attached much more easily than others and I realize now that I'm one of those people. In addition, I've had some absolutely disastrous financial experiences with a few young ladies (students) who I met on Internet dating sites and I can see now that it was my innate emotional weakness that caused me to open my wallet too wide. Sigmund Freud would probably have a lot to say about all of this ..... Anyway, I'm much better prepared now for the next encounter .... at least I hope I am ....
“You can get the mistaken impression that they like you and that you are something special to them when in fact you're only a paying customer. How do you handle this? Any experiences, warning signs, remedies, etc.?”
Sorry I'm about to step out so if anything doesn't make sense it's cause I'm in a rush...but here we go...
It’s NEVER anything special unless you spend time away from all this. They may enjoy your company, they may think you’re fun but in the end you’re still a customer if you keep going back as one. How do you tell if you’re always going to be a paying customer or more? Easy; how much time you spend with them outside of SP, MP, SC’s and off the clock.
If a girl calls you to see how you are and how you’ve been it doesn’t mean she wants you. Don’t always fall for this one. This happens with dancers a lot. I know a lot of guys that get dancers numbers and get calls to see how they’ve been etc and asked if they’d like to go see them in the clubs. Guess what? Most of the time they’re only asking you in because you’re an easy buck for them. Now don’t take that last statement as me saying that all SP, MP and SC girls are like that. I’m just letting you know what I’ve seen over the years. Some of my closest friends are dancers and aren’t like that but have always kept my head on straight.
If you think you like a girl, ask them out. If you can handle their profession then you’re in better shape than a lot of other guys. If they’re not willing to see you outside of when you normally see them then you should get your answer. The only thing you need to be worried about is getting caught up in this surreal lifestyle that exists for an hour or a couple of hours at a time.
Best of luck…
Ax also has the best advice.
Sorry I'm about to step out so if anything doesn't make sense it's cause I'm in a rush...but here we go...
It’s NEVER anything special unless you spend time away from all this. They may enjoy your company, they may think you’re fun but in the end you’re still a customer if you keep going back as one. How do you tell if you’re always going to be a paying customer or more? Easy; how much time you spend with them outside of SP, MP, SC’s and off the clock.
If a girl calls you to see how you are and how you’ve been it doesn’t mean she wants you. Don’t always fall for this one. This happens with dancers a lot. I know a lot of guys that get dancers numbers and get calls to see how they’ve been etc and asked if they’d like to go see them in the clubs. Guess what? Most of the time they’re only asking you in because you’re an easy buck for them. Now don’t take that last statement as me saying that all SP, MP and SC girls are like that. I’m just letting you know what I’ve seen over the years. Some of my closest friends are dancers and aren’t like that but have always kept my head on straight.
If you think you like a girl, ask them out. If you can handle their profession then you’re in better shape than a lot of other guys. If they’re not willing to see you outside of when you normally see them then you should get your answer. The only thing you need to be worried about is getting caught up in this surreal lifestyle that exists for an hour or a couple of hours at a time.
Best of luck…
Ax also has the best advice.
Several similar comments from the above thread seem to provide the answer to avoiding emotional attachment, i.e.,
"Keep up the variety.......do not repeat as often....less chance of "getting attached".......
"A good way is to remember you are paying and "it's all part of the show". If I think I'm getting too interested, I stay away for a few weeks, see someone else."
"As suggested above, take a break and/or start seeing other SPs: come back to your favorite SP only when you are sure you can handle the 'business relationship'."
"I found myself more vulnerable to attach with strippers when I used to frequent visiting Playmate a couple of years ago. My method is to stay away for a bit like dumping your girlfriend for more freedom."
And the following comment really hit home too:
"If a girl calls you to see how you are and how you’ve been it doesn’t mean she wants you. Don’t always fall for this one. This happens with dancers a lot.
I only ever got to know one SC dancer (Feb. 2006 at the Playmate) and she still phones me from time to time with hard-luck stories whenever she needs money (invariably at the beginning of the month!) ..... but she would never offer anything more than a CBJ in return, and usually not even that ... she was the ultimate "cock tease".
I have formed the impression that I'm not the only person who has become emotionally attached. I'm an older (early retired) person and I only entered the SP/MP/SC world about three years ago. I guess all of those "empty" years (actually decades) with my dear wife finally caught up with me and I felt like Christopher Columbus discovering the New World. I have learned a lot about human nature, both good and bad, during the last three years and for that I am grateful.
One thing that I've learned above all else is that we should be very grateful indeed to the SP ladies who are willing to provide those very intimate services to total strangers. What would we do without them?? And what would they do without us?!
"Keep up the variety.......do not repeat as often....less chance of "getting attached".......
"A good way is to remember you are paying and "it's all part of the show". If I think I'm getting too interested, I stay away for a few weeks, see someone else."
"As suggested above, take a break and/or start seeing other SPs: come back to your favorite SP only when you are sure you can handle the 'business relationship'."
"I found myself more vulnerable to attach with strippers when I used to frequent visiting Playmate a couple of years ago. My method is to stay away for a bit like dumping your girlfriend for more freedom."
And the following comment really hit home too:
"If a girl calls you to see how you are and how you’ve been it doesn’t mean she wants you. Don’t always fall for this one. This happens with dancers a lot.
I only ever got to know one SC dancer (Feb. 2006 at the Playmate) and she still phones me from time to time with hard-luck stories whenever she needs money (invariably at the beginning of the month!) ..... but she would never offer anything more than a CBJ in return, and usually not even that ... she was the ultimate "cock tease".
I have formed the impression that I'm not the only person who has become emotionally attached. I'm an older (early retired) person and I only entered the SP/MP/SC world about three years ago. I guess all of those "empty" years (actually decades) with my dear wife finally caught up with me and I felt like Christopher Columbus discovering the New World. I have learned a lot about human nature, both good and bad, during the last three years and for that I am grateful.
One thing that I've learned above all else is that we should be very grateful indeed to the SP ladies who are willing to provide those very intimate services to total strangers. What would we do without them?? And what would they do without us?!
I just wanted to thank Tip-Drill for starting this thread. I am in exactly this kind of situation with one of our local "darlings" and I was not sure if I was handling it very well until this thread showed up. My solution was/is to just stay away and see some new faces (and keep reminding myself that I am just a customer). It is difficult but hey, it's spring and there are a lot of great women out there. I know that all the advice from everyone wasn't aimed at me but thanks - it's helped big-time!
Hey good thread. I got kind of attached to my first regular SP; I guess because it was my first experience with sex without emotional involvement. But it was like lots of different business relationships: we're going to be friendly; we're not going to be friends. The proof is that they don't want to see us unless we bring money. Just like your car mechanic.
O.
O.
A very nice post from Misty. I guess the truth of the matter is that the very large majority of women, whether they be in the sex industry or not, ultimately seek a steady relationship with true love, security, children, etc. Most men seek the same things as well. However, as the years pass by so many things can and do change in a relationship and when a man enters a prolonged "dry" spell in his sexual life things can become very difficult indeed.
My wife (now living in B.C.) is still the finest and most compatible woman I have ever met but there was always that one thing that she seemed unwilling or unable to provide .... and I don't think she ever consciously realized what it was doing to me. Now more than ever before I realize what I missed out on in my younger years. Everyone has natural physical needs and everyone has the right to satisfy those needs elsewhere if they're not being offered at home or in conventional relationships. If more women appreciated how men's minds and bodies functioned I'm sure the divorce rate would be much lower than it is now .....
My wife (now living in B.C.) is still the finest and most compatible woman I have ever met but there was always that one thing that she seemed unwilling or unable to provide .... and I don't think she ever consciously realized what it was doing to me. Now more than ever before I realize what I missed out on in my younger years. Everyone has natural physical needs and everyone has the right to satisfy those needs elsewhere if they're not being offered at home or in conventional relationships. If more women appreciated how men's minds and bodies functioned I'm sure the divorce rate would be much lower than it is now .....
can admit that I have fallen for a few customers, and had longterm great relationships with them. Although I do my best to not become involved it is sometimes impossible not to. We cannot choose who we fall in love with....Having said that when I am looking for more then a client/SP relationship I stop charging. Maybe this ill give you a peak into the complex mind of an SP, LOL...........
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