Do you regret getting married?
- Thread starter Athena06
- Start date
Wait until you've been married for ten years. Then tell me how you feel.nylonfeetlover said:
BS
IMHO, asking about marriage regrets here is inherently leading to a skewed response. Everyone here in some way hobbys or provides services to us hobbyists. Marriage, hobbying, monogamy ... it's not exactly a natural mix here.
Having said this, I'm still single and never married. But I think I will eventually get married one of these years. The concept of sharing my life with someone is inherently appealing to me thus the interest in marriage.
As for monogamous relationships, the common response to that is that most animal species don't so why should we? My own opinion on this is that dedication carries a price of sorts, but I think it carries great reward as well. It's something that has to be worked at so it's not natural in that sense (otherwise it'd come easily right?). But in the end I think stability has a certain long-term return on investment that isn't easily quantified.
Having said this, I'm still single and never married. But I think I will eventually get married one of these years. The concept of sharing my life with someone is inherently appealing to me thus the interest in marriage.
As for monogamous relationships, the common response to that is that most animal species don't so why should we? My own opinion on this is that dedication carries a price of sorts, but I think it carries great reward as well. It's something that has to be worked at so it's not natural in that sense (otherwise it'd come easily right?). But in the end I think stability has a certain long-term return on investment that isn't easily quantified.
Not to make light of your question Alexa but I have said to a couple of SP's that I tend to be a Monogamous Hobbyist. After they had a good chuckle over that I explained.Alexa Taylor said:
I tend to stick with a provider that I am extremely comfortable with and share some common ground or at least areas that I wish to explore more with a particular woman.
Yes I have been with many different SP's but once I found that elusive quality that I was looking for I would stay with them on a regular basis and not see others. If you were to look at the reviews that I have done on here you would see some very distinct gaps in the time frames.
I guess in that case you could say that it is a natural then. BTW the things that I look for are in fact very similar to the things that I had with my wife when we first started dating and in our first years of marriage. I married at 30 so I was not letting society dictate to me when I should be married. My wife is older than myself and she has lost interest in some areas like sex so this provides me with a release and still getting an emotional satisfaction as well.
Please do a search for my thread entitled "The Myth of Monogamy". Lots of great info there. For the record, I believe that monogamy is unnatural. Reason being, men manufacture millions of sperm, not necessarily all intended for just one woman. If monogamy was natural, then how do you explain married men hobbying, for instance. I believe nature intended (initially at least) for men to have sex with as many women as possible in order to diversify the gene pool.Alexa Taylor said:
I refuse to buy into society's rules of what I should be doing. I will decide that for myself, thank you very much... and no, I have not been, nor will I ever be married.
Yeah, but...
...are we doomed to be slaves to our more base instincts?
Were would we be as a species if we had never evolved beyond what our pure unadulterated urges lead us to do? I doubt if we would have come as far as we have (be it good or not so good) if we had. We'd still be traveling in tribes, hunting and gathering, and many of you (us?) would not be around because many others would have already killed you off in a survial of the fittest / alpha dog natural selection process.
Indeed, if it were as simple as "I have million of sperm, thus i am meant to fuck as many women as possible in order to diversify the species", why do we have homosexuality, which does nothing to diversify the species at all?
"If monogamy was natural, then how do you explain married men hobbying, for instance."
Because they want to fuck. Period. Don't over analyze it...that is all it means...they like sex (as most of us do) and hence they want to fuck as often as possible. My guess is that if that (most) married men were getting as much sex as they wanted from their wives - and if those wives did there best to be as physically desirable as possible - they would not hobby. Hell...MY GUESS is that MOST married men don't hobby at all. As someone already side...this is board is hardly a true cross section representation of most men, women or others...
To be clear...I am not saying monogamy is "natural" or "un-natural". I am saying the fact that you pay to fuck and have millions of sperm is not definative reason for one versus the other.
Personally...I think we are in fact meant to go through life with a partner...not necessarily the same partner for life...but that bonding and coupling are indeed the most "natural" path. My "proof"...just as valid (in my mind) as your millions of sperm? The fact that many, many men "fall" for a provider...become a regular...and often do foolish, foolish things, trying to replace a true relationship based on attraction, affection and respect for one based on money.
If you "hobby" for ANY reason other than to get sex you aren't / can't / not willing to get "at home"...you are deluding yourself. Yet, many men do...I suspect a far greater percentage of men amongst "hobbiest" than the percentage of hobbiest amongst the general male population.
I personally cannot imagine what life must be like for a man who only knows female companionship as a matter of commerce, executed on an hourly basis.
drlove said:
...are we doomed to be slaves to our more base instincts?
Were would we be as a species if we had never evolved beyond what our pure unadulterated urges lead us to do? I doubt if we would have come as far as we have (be it good or not so good) if we had. We'd still be traveling in tribes, hunting and gathering, and many of you (us?) would not be around because many others would have already killed you off in a survial of the fittest / alpha dog natural selection process.
Indeed, if it were as simple as "I have million of sperm, thus i am meant to fuck as many women as possible in order to diversify the species", why do we have homosexuality, which does nothing to diversify the species at all?
"If monogamy was natural, then how do you explain married men hobbying, for instance."
Because they want to fuck. Period. Don't over analyze it...that is all it means...they like sex (as most of us do) and hence they want to fuck as often as possible. My guess is that if that (most) married men were getting as much sex as they wanted from their wives - and if those wives did there best to be as physically desirable as possible - they would not hobby. Hell...MY GUESS is that MOST married men don't hobby at all. As someone already side...this is board is hardly a true cross section representation of most men, women or others...
To be clear...I am not saying monogamy is "natural" or "un-natural". I am saying the fact that you pay to fuck and have millions of sperm is not definative reason for one versus the other.
Personally...I think we are in fact meant to go through life with a partner...not necessarily the same partner for life...but that bonding and coupling are indeed the most "natural" path. My "proof"...just as valid (in my mind) as your millions of sperm? The fact that many, many men "fall" for a provider...become a regular...and often do foolish, foolish things, trying to replace a true relationship based on attraction, affection and respect for one based on money.
If you "hobby" for ANY reason other than to get sex you aren't / can't / not willing to get "at home"...you are deluding yourself. Yet, many men do...I suspect a far greater percentage of men amongst "hobbiest" than the percentage of hobbiest amongst the general male population.
I personally cannot imagine what life must be like for a man who only knows female companionship as a matter of commerce, executed on an hourly basis.
I can't speak for everyone, but the other component (for me, anyway) is variety. If you limit yourself to one partner, this goes out the window. I think it's fun to see different ladies, and that way I don't get bored. I'm sure many men have been in a LTR where they've hit a rut, and the sex isn't as fufilling as it once was. Hence, they seek out SPs, for instance.
Thanks to the Arthur Anderson firm accounting system, and the underground economy I can scrape by.kramer said:WOW. Does that work out to over 100% of you net pay?
I guess this is an example of the alternative for some....
I find it very interesting to hear men say they have happy marriages and yet they hobby--now Im sure all those marraiges arent sexless. It comes down to do you work like everything to be faithful because its boundaries that designate what is precious and worth having or do you kick over the traces?
Alexa,Alexa Taylor said:
Interesting question. No, I do not think monogamy is natural, especially for men since we are biologically programmed to spread our seeds. Women are more maternal by nature and look for security in a mate - both financial and emotional - to have a family with.
GG
kramer said:WOW. Does that work out to over 100% of you net pay?
I guess this is an example of the alternative for some....
Speaking of alternatives, there is the Alternatives to Marriage Project.
This is because....
...men compartmentalize very well.
Emotions and sex do not have to be intertwined with most men, and often are not.
Now, if you are asking "if you are happy in your marriage why risk it have sex outside the marriage", that is like asking why people speed when they know they might get caught. Everybody has there own risk / reward relationship for just about every thing.
Rose said:
...men compartmentalize very well.
Emotions and sex do not have to be intertwined with most men, and often are not.
Now, if you are asking "if you are happy in your marriage why risk it have sex outside the marriage", that is like asking why people speed when they know they might get caught. Everybody has there own risk / reward relationship for just about every thing.
This I find interesting. Now I have not crossed the imaginary line in my head and ever used an escort. I am a SC guy, who looks for cheap thrills.Dodger said:
But if I understand Dodger correctly he actually is more interested in an "affair" with a SP vs a night of screwing with a hot woman.
While I have had a few opportunities, I've never gone ahead with an affair, as the emotional connection required seems like the "cheating" part.
I know, getting my knob blown in some nasty SC is also cheating, but as MLAM wrote, men can compartmentalize easily.
I guess I do see monogamy as natural, as who really wants to be alone?
But the sex industry gives easy, but expensive, sexual release.
There's nothing wrong with "marriage". I don't see a problem in creating a life with someone you care deeply for, raising children together, sharing resources and building happiness. I've seen enough happy marriage (real marriages, not variations on the storybook theme) to know that it can work.Athena06 said:
I don't find it boring. What some would call boring, I would call stability or familiarity and there is comfort in that.
I have no problem with marriage. I have HUGE issues with my partner, but no problem with marriage.
Is it acceptable to regret NOT getting married?
Everything on here in general seems to be in the negative.
What happens if there was that someone, who through the wrong decisions or different paths in life- missed the opportunity to elope in a partnership that signifies what an ideal marriage is or what you CHOSE to make it????
Everything on here in general seems to be in the negative.
What happens if there was that someone, who through the wrong decisions or different paths in life- missed the opportunity to elope in a partnership that signifies what an ideal marriage is or what you CHOSE to make it????
