Did i do wrong?

[surferboy]

Had a great day at the cottage on Saturday.Did some yard work first thing in the morning,had lunch with a couple of buddy's,took the neighbors kids & there friends water sking & tubing.Got back on land & started drinking,playing some volleyball & horseshoes,& the neighbors invited me over for some fish on the barbie.Conversation turns to how fast the kids have grown up.Not mine,don't have any(every fathers day I don't get a card is a good fathers day! lol)Two of them are off to university this year for the first time & one for the second year.Being in my mid thirties,i can remember these kids as baby's.

Around 9 oclock after i woke up from a litle nap,i went down to the beach & had some drinks with my neighbors around the bonfire.As it got later the older crowd headed to bed,while the younger crowd started to drink heavier.One of my neighbors friends that i took out tubing came over to sit closer & warm up.Being at least a dozen yrs older than anyone there i taught them some drinking games,hangover remedies,how to make the ultimate smore etc,etc.As the night wore on,my neighbors friend who's starting university with her tmr kept getting flirtier & flirtier & wanted to see my ID,not believing im in my mid thirties.This girl being a 5'8-5'10,thin beautiful brunette made it hard for me to pay attn driving the boat!Great sense of humour,very intelligent for her age & eyes & a smile that could lite up a room.

Well long story short we ended up going for a skinny dip & she ended up in my bed.I told her up front that it was a bad idea,but at that moment there was no turning back.I woke up in the morning feeling a little ashamed,she told me i was only the second guy she'd been with.Had brekky with my neighbors while the kids slept in & they asked if i had a good time last nite.Internally i kinda grinned,but i felt as low as a snakes belly.I've known these people along time & they trust me to lookout for there kids.My brother made it up after lunch & commented i looked a little down.I gave him a hypothetical,& in two seconds he figured it out & shook his head saying my moral compass is way out of whack for sleeping with the neighbors 18yr old friend.It got worse at dinner when my mom asked the the girls the highlite of there week at the cottage.My neighbors friend says the watersking was the best but her legs got real sore,but not to worry i massaged them later for her.Everybody laughed innocently & i almost choked on my shrimp!

So did i do wrong here,or am i jumping to conclusions ?

 

[demien2k5]

I've known these people along time & they trust me to lookout for there kids....So did i do wrong here,or am i jumping to conclusions ?

I can only say that where my own kids are concerned, I'd hope for more from the people I've known for a long time, and consider close family friends. Your own heart should be telling you the answer to your question.

 

[DanJ]

This girl isn't one of your friend's kids right? Sounds like a friend of the friend's kid? I'm less concerned about that. Still not the best judgement though. I think if word gets back to the friend, they are going to wonder about you and their own kids (adults though they may be). And you know the girl you slept with will tell her friend, so something might change in that "cool older dude" dynamic.

 

[Titalian]

This girl being a 5'8-5'10,thin beautiful brunette made it hard for me to pay attn driving the boat!Great sense of humour,very intelligent for her age & eyes & a smile that could lite up a room.

Hey, this is where you lost it, not your fault, don't feel guilty, she knew exactly what she was doing !!!

 

[Butler1000]

There is very much a it takes two to tango thing here. Somehow I don't see you that you took advantage of anyone. The fact you are less concerned about the lady herself, and the fact she made that joke is a tell to this.

But be prepared for the word to leak out amongst her friends. Whether or not it gets back to the parents is another matter. I highly doubt it. I'm pretty sure things haven't changed so much that kids talk about their and their friends "hook-ups" to the grownups yet.

 

[Ridgeman08]

Looking at it from an entirely different angle.

Myself, I helped my own 18 and 19 year old daughters move to college/ university this passed week. Last week was daughter #2, and yesterday, daughter #1. I worry about them, as any self respecting father would. Yes they can be a pain in the other end, and the cause of much stress from the minute they are born until... well forever.

Yesterday, as I was leaving daoughter #1's newly unpacked, and well stocked residence dorm, we said our goodbyes and gave each other a very heartfelt, sincere and rather long hug. I then sort of jokingly said,"OK, there ya go, (motioning with my hands), off you go, be free!" She placed each of her hands on my cheeks, looked in my eyes and said, "I love you daddy... thanks for everything!" I smiled and said it was and is my pleasure, and turned and walked through the door, and down the hallway. I waited for the elevator door to open, then pressed the button for the ground floor. As it was closing, an arm slid in the way to stop it. It was my daughter. She was on her way to see her friend on another floor. We had another little hug, and kiss on the cheeks as she said bye again. I made it to the ground floor, and walked to my car... Just as I was getting in, I saw my daughter running across the parking lot towards me. I got out of my car and she ran into my arms, crying her eyes out. "I love you so much daddy!" She went on to explain, that she just ran down 5 flights of stairs to catch me before I drove off, because when that elevator door closed- it suddenly got REAL! We stood there in the parking lot holding each other, crying our eyes out and not caring about anything else, but the overwhelming emotions that were engulfing us...

I drove home with tears of joy and sadness streaming down my face... This was the second time in a week where exactly the same scenario played out... First with daughter #2, and then with #1.

Being a good parent is the most selfless and rewarding role anyone can ever have, and I wouldn't trade a second of any of it, for anything in the world imagined or unimagined.

That said, IMHO, THIS is where you made your mistake:

Not mine,don't have any(every fathers day I don't get a card is a good fathers day! lol)

 

[TeasePlease]

Ridgeman - you done good. Your little girl loves you. That's the best you can do as a father.

surferboy - it doesn't sound like you were a sieve. You gave her fair "warning", lol. My guess is she had already decided to start her coming of age this weekend, before she's off to school...I suspect that you may have only been her second, but you'll soon become just one of many conquest before next summer rolls along. The bigger issue I think is Butler's point. If word gets out, you'll lose some friends.

 

[justfor]

Looking at it from an entirely different angle.

Myself, I helped my own 18 and 19 year old daughters move to college/ university this passed week. Last week was daughter #2, and yesterday, daughter #1. I worry about them, as any self respecting father would. Yes they can be a pain in the other end, and the cause of much stress from the minute they are born until... well forever.

Yesterday, as I was leaving daoughter #1's newly unpacked, and well stocked residence dorm, we said our goodbyes and gave each other a very heartfelt, sincere and rather long hug. I then sort of jokingly said,"OK, there ya go, (motioning with my hands), off you go, be free!" She placed each of her hands on my cheeks, looked in my eyes and said, "I love you daddy... thanks for everything!" I smiled and said it was and is my pleasure, and turned and walked through the door, and down the hallway. I waited for the elevator door to open, then pressed the button for the ground floor. As it was closing, an arm slid in the way to stop it. It was my daughter. She was on her way to see her friend on another floor. We had another little hug, and kiss on the cheeks as she said bye again. I made it to the ground floor, and walked to my car... Just as I was getting in, I saw my daughter running across the parking lot towards me. I got out of my car and she ran into my arms, crying her eyes out. "I love you so much daddy!" She went on to explain, that she just ran down 5 flights of stairs to catch me before I drove off, because when that elevator door closed- it suddenly got REAL! We stood there in the parking lot holding each other, crying our eyes out and not caring about anything else, but the overwhelming emotions that were engulfing us...

I drove home with tears of joy and sadness streaming down my face... This was the second time in a week where exactly the same scenario played out... First with daughter #2, and then with #1.

Being a good parent is the most selfless and rewarding role anyone can ever have, and I wouldn't trade a second of any of it, for anything in the world imagined or unimagined.

That said, IMHO, THIS is where you made your mistake:

Very moving! Everyone with a son or daughter will admire the great work you have done and will be envious of the great relationship you have with you daughters.

 

[Viggo Rasmussen]

Don't feel guilty, you're both consenting adults and unattached. Probably no condom, she's the one who should be concerned.

 

[Marla]

Had a great day at the cottage on Saturday.Did some yard work first thing in the morning,had lunch with a couple of buddy's,took the neighbors kids & there friends water sking & tubing.Got back on land & started drinking,playing some volleyball & horseshoes,& the neighbors invited me over for some fish on the barbie.Conversation turns to how fast the kids have grown up.Not mine,don't have any(every fathers day I don't get a card is a good fathers day! lol)Two of them are off to university this year for the first time & one for the second year.Being in my mid thirties,i can remember these kids as baby's.

Around 9 oclock after i woke up from a litle nap,i went down to the beach & had some drinks with my neighbors around the bonfire.As it got later the older crowd headed to bed,while the younger crowd started to drink heavier.One of my neighbors friends that i took out tubing came over to sit closer & warm up.Being at least a dozen yrs older than anyone there i taught them some drinking games,hangover remedies,how to make the ultimate smore etc,etc.As the night wore on,my neighbors friend who's starting university with her tmr kept getting flirtier & flirtier & wanted to see my ID,not believing im in my mid thirties.This girl being a 5'8-5'10,thin beautiful brunette made it hard for me to pay attn driving the boat!Great sense of humour,very intelligent for her age & eyes & a smile that could lite up a room.

Well long story short we ended up going for a skinny dip & she ended up in my bed.I told her up front that it was a bad idea,but at that moment there was no turning back.I woke up in the morning feeling a little ashamed,she told me i was only the second guy she'd been with.Had brekky with my neighbors while the kids slept in & they asked if i had a good time last nite.Internally i kinda grinned,but i felt as low as a snakes belly.I've known these people along time & they trust me to lookout for there kids.My brother made it up after lunch & commented i looked a little down.I gave him a hypothetical,& in two seconds he figured it out & shook his head saying my moral compass is way out of whack for sleeping with the neighbors 18yr old friend.It got worse at dinner when my mom asked the the girls the highlite of there week at the cottage.My neighbors friend says the watersking was the best but her legs got real sore,but not to worry i massaged them later for her.Everybody laughed innocently & i almost choked on my shrimp!

So did i do wrong here,or am i jumping to conclusions ?

There is no wrong or right or guilt to be assigned but maybe a moral to the story. You were more relaxed in a cottage environment and drinking a lot. I think it impaired your judgment to think about the consequences of balancing how your neighbours might react to having a lot of fun with someone who was obviously coming on to you.

You mention how you had been drinking throughout the day and into the night and I really do think this helped pull your defenses down. Let's face it... if you had not been drinking the idea would not have appealed to you i don't think or you may have been able to resist it. It was in the moment of a good time and everyone got carried away. It happens especially in such a relaxed outdoor atmosphere.
I am not a champion of lying but for the sake of your long standing relationship with your neighbours, I would deny it and say you spurned her advances. If she is going to blab, then you have the right to deny and protect yourself. And learn from it when you are drinking a lot throughout the day you become defenseless to your whims so be more judicious in the future. Sever any and all future dealings with her at once.

 

[michael_to29]

The Bro-code states half your age plus 7 as a guideline.

 

[Viggo Rasmussen]

I think anyone who is mid 30s sleeping with a 18 year old is somewhat of questionable character. My 5 cents. How mature is a 18 year old? That's just ridiculous. They don't know shit at that age.

There was also a huge power differential you exploited.

Coming to an escort review board to ask for moral guidance... Nothing questionable about that.

1. Old enough to die for her country, old enough to decide she wants to fuck.

2. I don't see any power differential between the two at all.

3. Seeing escorts isn't immoral.

 

[surferboy]

I had a hard time getting to sleep last nite,kept trying to convince myself i didn't do anything wrong.In my heart i know i did.I could chalk it up to i had to much to drink,she put the moves on me,or a bunch of other reasons.But being a grown man i should have looked at the big picture & considered this is my neighbors daughters friend & left it at that.Part of me wants to man up & tell my neighbor & another part just wants to sweep it under the carpet.
I got a text from her this morning that i won't go into,& i told her i wanted to apologize to my neighbor & her words were "please keep this between us".Think i gotta take her advice.On top of that my moms still at the cottage & there's a gun in the closet.She ever found out i think she'd shoot me!

 

[Worf]

I had a hard time getting to sleep last nite,kept trying to convince myself i didn't do anything wrong.In my heart i know i did.I could chalk it up to i had to much to drink,she put the moves on me,or a bunch of other reasons.But being a grown man i should have looked at the big picture & considered this is my neighbors daughters friend & left it at that.Part of me wants to man up & tell my neighbor & another part just wants to sweep it under the carpet.
I got a text from her this morning that i won't go into,& i told her i wanted to apologize to my neighbor & her words were "please keep this between us".Think i gotta take her advice.On top of that my moms still at the cottage & there's a gun in the closet.She ever found out i think she'd shoot me!

Don't apologize or tell your neighbour!!!! They don't need to know anything.

 

[surferboy]

Looking at it from an entirely different angle.

Myself, I helped my own 18 and 19 year old daughters move to college/ university this passed week. Last week was daughter #2, and yesterday, daughter #1. I worry about them, as any self respecting father would. Yes they can be a pain in the other end, and the cause of much stress from the minute they are born until... well forever.

Yesterday, as I was leaving daoughter #1's newly unpacked, and well stocked residence dorm, we said our goodbyes and gave each other a very heartfelt, sincere and rather long hug. I then sort of jokingly said,"OK, there ya go, (motioning with my hands), off you go, be free!" She placed each of her hands on my cheeks, looked in my eyes and said, "I love you daddy... thanks for everything!" I smiled and said it was and is my pleasure, and turned and walked through the door, and down the hallway. I waited for the elevator door to open, then pressed the button for the ground floor. As it was closing, an arm slid in the way to stop it. It was my daughter. She was on her way to see her friend on another floor. We had another little hug, and kiss on the cheeks as she said bye again. I made it to the ground floor, and walked to my car... Just as I was getting in, I saw my daughter running across the parking lot towards me. I got out of my car and she ran into my arms, crying her eyes out. "I love you so much daddy!" She went on to explain, that she just ran down 5 flights of stairs to catch me before I drove off, because when that elevator door closed- it suddenly got REAL! We stood there in the parking lot holding each other, crying our eyes out and not caring about anything else, but the overwhelming emotions that were engulfing us...

I drove home with tears of joy and sadness streaming down my face... This was the second time in a week where exactly the same scenario played out... First with daughter #2, and then with #1.

Being a good parent is the most selfless and rewarding role anyone can ever have, and I wouldn't trade a second of any of it, for anything in the world imagined or unimagined.

That said, IMHO, THIS is where you made your mistake:

You sound like a great dad Ridge,very touching story.Looking at it through your eyes i'd wanna punch me in the face if that was one of your daughters friends.

 

[Viggo Rasmussen]

Part of me wants to man up & tell my neighbor & another part just wants to sweep it under the carpet.

Telling isn't manning up, being a man would be respecting her privacy.

 

[Ashley V]

So did i do wrong here,or am i jumping to conclusions ?

Mid 30's so lets say 35.

35/2=17.5+7=24.5

The minimum age of the woman in your story should have been 24.5 or older so the answer is a solid yes.

 

[CapitalGuy]

1. Old enough to die for her country, old enough to decide she wants to fuck.

2. I don't see any power differential between the two at all.

3. Seeing escorts isn't immoral.

That about sums up my thoughts too. Well done on the one-nighter.

 

[danmand]

I had a hard time getting to sleep last nite,kept trying to convince myself i didn't do anything wrong.In my heart i know i did.I could chalk it up to i had to much to drink,she put the moves on me,or a bunch of other reasons.But being a grown man i should have looked at the big picture & considered this is my neighbors daughters friend & left it at that.Part of me wants to man up & tell my neighbor & another part just wants to sweep it under the carpet.
I got a text from her this morning that i won't go into,& i told her i wanted to apologize to my neighbor & her words were "please keep this between us".Think i gotta take her advice.On top of that my moms still at the cottage & there's a gun in the closet.She ever found out i think she'd shoot me!

You should have asked your mother first. She seems to have the right morals.

 

[Serpent]

Please don't put words in my mouth! We are not talking about hobbying. Even if we were you're now ignoring the fact that there are some very sketchy characters as johns? Just look at the public service announcements and miss Jessica lee's recent post about taking no for an answer. Your seriously in denial.

There is a definite power imbalance and the fact that your questioning this is disturbing.

Yeah I'm sure you'd love it if some guy who sees escorts starts fucking your 18 year old daughter....not to mention double her age.

That's all I have to say on this.

18 is definitely too young for a guy in his mid-30s to bang on a relationship basis. It's also wrong in this circumstance considering he's shitting very close to where he's living.

But I don't see a 'power thing" here. He's not her boss or anyone with any influence in her life.