Did i do wrong?

[Viggo Rasmussen]

Please don't put words in my mouth! We are not talking about hobbying. Even if we were your now ignoring the fact that there are some very sketchy characters as johns? Just look at the public service announcements and miss Jessica lee's recent post about taking no for an answer. Your seriously in denial.

There is a definite power imbalance and the fact that your questioning this is disturbing.

Yeah I'm sure you'd love it if some guy who sees escorts starts fucking your 18 year old daughter.

That's all I have to say on this.

I'm not talking about hobbying either. Two consenting adults of any age are fine by me.
There isn't a power imbalance unless he's an authority figure like a teacher, her boss or a police officer.
If I had an 18 year old daughter I wouldn't interfere with her choice in a one night stand, but I'd be there if she was hurt in any way. I'd respect her decisions.

 

[bestman007]

I think the decent thing for the OP to do is call her up & see how she's doing. By sleeping with her and not making any connection to sort out your feelings is just plain cold OP.

It's different if it's a one night stand with a woman your age who was looking for that. But when you're the second guy she ever slept with I think you really need to at least have some closure to this incident or sort out where you go from here.

 

[Serpent]

Lol, how can you even have a conversation with someone who just finished high school and has no idea what the world is like? I sort of like my women to be on a similar level intellectually and maturity wise.

i know i know....but summer + drinks + fun = unwise decisions.

The OP isn't ringing her up for a relationship and stalking her at the new university, there are upsides to this story y'all are ignoring!

 

[canchi]

If she is your friends or neighbour's kid, of course you don't do it, and if you did, you are really... Bad?!

But if it's just someone 18 years old, I don't see a problem.

I mean, if you are in your mid 30s, and a 18 years old comes to you wanting sex, and not your family or friends, then why not?

 

[Ashley V]

Lol, how can you even have a conversation with someone who just finished high school and has no idea what the world is like? I sort of like my women to be on a similar level intellectually and maturity wise.

Not even half way into reading the OPs story I came to the conclution he has Peter Pan Syndrome (Google it if unfamiliar). Take his handle for instance. He even considers himself a boy. He may be a man in his mid thirties on paper but he displays the maturity level of early twenties at best. This is why the eighteen year old girl he banged could not believe it when he told her his actual age.

 

[pablice]

Ouch girl...right for the jugular...hehehe...I love terb for very such reasons...although many men probably exhibit some level of Peter Pan I guess...still don't think what he did was wrong..it's all how you view it and if he took advantage or not. She could be the type of girl who chases after older men so if not him could have been somebody else like a stranger at a bar. Now if he was provoking her and trying to take advantage of her young state of mind then yes his actions are ill. There are some 18 year olds who are very smart and mature...and age is only a number... it all depends on the mindset.

Not even half way into reading the OPs story I came to the conclution he has Peter Pan Syndrome (Google it if unfamiliar). Take his handle for instance. He even considers himself a boy. He may be a man in his mid thirties on paper but he displays the maturity level of early twenties at best. This is why the eighteen year old girl he banged could not believe it when he told her his actual age.

 

[surferboy]

Thanks for your constructive criticism Void,but i wouldn't say i took advantage of her.This girl is very smart & mature beyond her years,comes from a very sucessful family.Having a convo with her you'd think shes mid twenties & worked in the biz world for a few yrs.Not making excuses,just giving a couple facts.As far as the moral issue of betraying thy neighbor,guilty as charged & i sincerely feel bad about that.

If this happened to be a stranger i met at a Starbucks,don't think i'd be regretting having sex with a hot consenting 18yr old that rips your clothes off & probably has a higher IQ than i do?

 

[surferboy]

Not even half way into reading the OPs story I came to the conclution he has Peter Pan Syndrome (Google it if unfamiliar). Take his handle for instance. He even considers himself a boy. He may be a man in his mid thirties on paper but he displays the maturity level of early twenties at best. This is why the eighteen year old girl he banged could not believe it when he told her his actual age.

Im not going to flatter you by reading about the "Peter Pan Syndrome".My handle is a nickname friends gave me because i spent a lot of time surfing,don't think that makes me a boy?As far as her not believing my actual age,some guys have a youthful appearance,i cant argue that.I get hit on by 20yr olds quite often lol

 

[danmand]

I get hit on by 20yr olds quite often lol

So do I, and I am much older than 30. Mostly it happens after I call an agency.

 

[Moviefan-2]

So do I, and I am much older than 30. Mostly it happens after I call an agency.

I hate to burst your bubble, but I think some of them are just after your money.

 

[NorthernBear]

What is the issue here? It is not as if her were banging some kid he has been around since she was in diapers. He bedded her friend whom he has likely never seen before and never will again.

He told her how old he was up front and was hesitant in pursuing her. She was the aggressor so he should have just enjoyed his time and felt no guilt. Age makes no difference if there is mutual desire for fun.

 

[Jacklyn7]

Just want to say to those who say he should feel no guilt as he was not in a power/authoritative position, he actually does say in his OP that his neighbours were trusting him to watch over and protect the kids... I would say that is very much a power/authoritative position. Hence his guilt. I am wondering why she has your number to be texting you, that seems like a bad idea and as for privacy, she is 18 there is no chance she is not going to tell her friend what happened.

 

[shakenbake]

Looking at it from an entirely different angle.

Myself, I helped my own 18 and 19 year old daughters move to college/ university this passed week. Last week was daughter #2, and yesterday, daughter #1. I worry about them, as any self respecting father would. Yes they can be a pain in the other end, and the cause of much stress from the minute they are born until... well forever.

Yesterday, as I was leaving daoughter #1's newly unpacked, and well stocked residence dorm, we said our goodbyes and gave each other a very heartfelt, sincere and rather long hug. I then sort of jokingly said,"OK, there ya go, (motioning with my hands), off you go, be free!" She placed each of her hands on my cheeks, looked in my eyes and said, "I love you daddy... thanks for everything!" I smiled and said it was and is my pleasure, and turned and walked through the door, and down the hallway. I waited for the elevator door to open, then pressed the button for the ground floor. As it was closing, an arm slid in the way to stop it. It was my daughter. She was on her way to see her friend on another floor. We had another little hug, and kiss on the cheeks as she said bye again. I made it to the ground floor, and walked to my car... Just as I was getting in, I saw my daughter running across the parking lot towards me. I got out of my car and she ran into my arms, crying her eyes out. "I love you so much daddy!" She went on to explain, that she just ran down 5 flights of stairs to catch me before I drove off, because when that elevator door closed- it suddenly got REAL! We stood there in the parking lot holding each other, crying our eyes out and not caring about anything else, but the overwhelming emotions that were engulfing us...

I drove home with tears of joy and sadness streaming down my face... This was the second time in a week where exactly the same scenario played out... First with daughter #2, and then with #1.

Being a good parent is the most selfless and rewarding role anyone can ever have, and I wouldn't trade a second of any of it, for anything in the world imagined or unimagined.

That said, IMHO, THIS is where you made your mistake:

Having two daughters myself, I can relate to your experiences, Bro. yes, they all are a pain in the a$$. But, I will never, ever regret being dad to two daughters.

 

[Viggo Rasmussen]

Well the issue is you don't have a daughter or younger female siblings. If you did you would have some idea how wrong you are. Anyone double a teenagers age is an authority figure in the mind of the girl.

It's up to adults with a more fine tuned sense of right and wrong to know where then lines should be drawn.

An older guy relaxing, shooting the breeze and getting drunk with her isn't an authority figure.
Get down off your high horse, your morals aren't better than mine. I have a younger sister and nieces and respect they should make their own decisions just like my brother and nephews can.

 

[Ridgeman08]

I have a younger sister and nieces

No comparison what-so-ever...

You might "think" there is... but there REALLY isn't. If you aren't a parent, you have no clue of the emotional effect a child can have on his or her parent.

 

[K Douglas]

Mid 30's so lets say 35.

35/2=17.5+7=24.5

The minimum age of the woman in your story should have been 24.5 or older so the answer is a solid yes.

Age is just a number. As long as it's legal.

To the OP I say this. You didn't coerce or manipulate her. She's an adult and made her own decision. I just wish I was as lucky as you were this weekend

 

[punter]

Yes, you did wrong by not posting the photos/video.

 

[spankingman]

How mature are 18 year olds?
18 year olds are allowed to join the Military drink in some Provinces,vote etc.

 

[Jacklyn7]

Again, he claimed in his OP that he was WATCHING out for them, whether asked or not, it was an implied position of authority.

An older guy relaxing, shooting the breeze and getting drunk with her isn't an authority figure.
Get down off your high horse, your morals aren't better than mine. I have a younger sister and nieces and respect they should make their own decisions just like my brother and nephews can.

 

[Jacklyn7]

Errr, in the states they can not drink, you said in "some" provinces, and not sure if this is true but I hear they raised the age for military to 21, don't have time to bother searching that though. They can't even buy cigarettes yet at that age...

How mature are 18 year olds?
18 year olds are allowed to join the Military drink in some Provinces,vote etc.