Seriously. There is always one isn’t there. LOL
She wasted those years because she wanted something more then he was willing to give.
That is on her. He was upfront. I agree with him.
She shouldn’t have wasted 3 years of her life hoping for something that wasn’t going to happen.
How is that “spoken from a woman’s point of view.?” That is everyone’s point of view In this thread, is it not???
I took your "She shouldn't have wasted three years of her life" post as a general female attitude towards male\female relationships, in that you and most other women feel the relationship she and Don shared was a waste of her time, no matter it's high quality and mutual enjoyment for the time it lasted, if he wasn't at some point going to marry her.
If that's not your personal attitude towards mature male/female relationships I apologize. I do however think it still is a general female point of view.
Imho very few males, if the tables were turned, would pressure a women to legally formalize the status of their relationship in the situation described in the original post. Three years of living the good life with no end in sight, and with a woman who's company he obviously enjoys! Would he say "Marriage or nothing?". I think not.
On the other hand, "A man chases a woman until she catches him!". In truth after my first marriage failed I had no intention of ever remarrying. I was a more or less happy bachelor for 10 years after that, and was honest with every woman I dated, stating I would not remarry. Then, by total surprise to me, I met a woman with whom I fell in love, and changed my mind. So maybe the woman in the original post wasted the second and third years, but possibly the first year was justifiable in that maybe he would change his mind if he happened to fall in love with her?
I'm pretty old so maybe things are different today in the civilian world, but again imho I believe many more females than men are looking for a legal commitment in a romantic relationship, for financial and other ongoing security issues. Also their families and friends often apply pressure, with words to the effect "When is he gonna make you an honest woman?". I still remember one of my first girlfriends, from way back when, who told me that her mother said "You know he won't buy the cow if he can get the milk free!" Talk about Old School...
More currently I have also noticed in passing conversations with younger parents of marriageable age girls that even today they continuously assess the marriage potential, positive and negative, of just about every guy their daughters date, and quite early in the relationship start encouraging those matches that they consider to be positive. Usually the young guys involved are totally unaware of this "behind the scenes" pressure and planning, whether it be solely in the minds of the parents, or also in the minds of the young women involved themselves. (I do notice that many women are getting married later in life these days, which is a good thing, as maybe they're making better and more mature choices.)
One major exception I have noticed, as I have several quite independently wealthy female relatives, and know their similarly wealthy female friends, is that they often did not seem to be in any great rush to legally tie themselves to the men in their romantic lives...
