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breakup rules

lurkerjoe

Member
Apr 13, 2004
463
12
18
If you share the home/apartment or it's hers:
One day, when she's not home, gather up everything that's yours (and everything you gave her that you want back) and move out.

If it's your apartment or home:
One day, when she's not home, gather up everything that's not yours and put it our in front of the house/building. Change the locks.
^^^^^ What he said ^^^^^
 

The Options Menu

Slightly Swollen Member
Sep 13, 2005
4,449
135
63
GTA
Hola amigos,
So I posted earlier bout relationship issues but it feel retarded and I don't want to leave her but no point being in something where I'm giving 100prcnt and she doesn't care....yet she gets pissed when I look at other women etc and says she loves me etc...anyz

So my question is, if we end up leaving each other (which is becoming more and more apparent from her behavior); do I get or ask for everything I have given her to date?

I have spent a lot of $ on her, buying clothes, louis, gucci bags over 5k, and so much more, which depresses me cause its a big sum!!!! So do I want all the items back and being a bitch like she is?!? I'm not sure what to do, cause I don't want to leave her but...ur input guys will be helpful and pls no wise_guy comments here...I'm being emotionally drained so suxs ass....thxs

Cheers
As a general rule-- If you gave it to her as a gift, let it go. If it has some sentimental value to you, you gave it to her conditionally (ie- lent it to her.), or it's yours take it back. Do this for her shit at your place as well.

TOMs guide to breaking up:
1. Box up, trash, or destroy reminders. If shit is bad, chopping up that horrible shirt she gave you can only feel good.
2. You might get to the 'Exes with benefits' stage but that's not a short term thing. Take a hard line on communication in both directions. No calls, no letters, no emails. Doubly so if you're drunk or high. None of those visits where you fall into the sack. Write that sort of thing off until you've had some combination of a future rebound / real relationship.
3. Instead of wallowing, fill your new free time with 'things you always wanted to do'. With a strong bias toward social things that get you out and meeting people. Be the 'I'm game for it' guy.
4. Family and friends will (usually) support you, but: a) The act of them supporting you will often involve them panning your ex, which can often feel hurtful in it's own weird way, b) your wallowing will get tedious, so do #3 above, if for no other reason it will give you something to talk about.
5. "The best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody" is true, but it's only true in so far as you're doing it for yourself, not to 'show the ex' on some level. This takes time. Even if you're seeing a pro, this should take some time. Nobody wants to see some sad loser on a desperate crawl to get laid.

Ending a serious relationship is a lot like coping with a death. No matter how hard you try not to be overly co-dependant, codependency emerges. Even if you're fed up (for good reason) at the time of the breakup, later comes the sense of loss. It will get better. Particularly if you are proactive with your new found free time. If it doesn't, seek help.
 

Brill

Well-known member
Jun 29, 2008
8,681
1,199
113
Toronto
Hola amigos,
So I posted earlier bout relationship issues but it feel retarded and I don't want to leave her but no point being in something where I'm giving 100prcnt and she doesn't care....yet she gets pissed when I look at other women etc and says she loves me etc...anyz
You've been on terb as long as you were in the relationship, how can you say you're giving 100%?
Move out, don't ask for any gifts back. Then learn to grow up.
 

fmahovalich

Active member
Aug 21, 2009
7,255
14
38
I don't know!!!

Im a revenge guy,.

This girl has hung out in an insecure world, being a dick to the guy while using him to buy all this stuff that still does not make her happy! She wants more and more but is less and less appreciative.

I would say ..SURE LEAVE....and after your gone...if she calls you asking where this is...or that is...be real nice and deny any knowledge. Tell her it must have got misplaced in the move, but you ABSOLUTLEY DO NOT HAVE IT! Save the issue of asking for it.

Sometimes rings fall down sinks too!
 

blackrock13

Banned
Jun 6, 2009
40,085
1
0
WTF?

First tboy and now I'm agreeing with HOF?

I'm going out to buy a LottoMax ticket....
LOL, I'll go in on a ticket with you! We win, we take over Toronto!
First Toronto, then Berlin. hahahahah. Sorry.

This is proof there is a god and she does have a sense of humour. most of the post are well said and I can't really add more to them. Asking for or taking back gifts is really not a good move. A $5000 purse? I don't spend that on a watch. How many miles to the galloon does it get. Sorry for your problems. The next time will be different. I suspect you're not mid 40's, short and bald, so there are plenty of women out there.
 

blackrock13

Banned
Jun 6, 2009
40,085
1
0
I don't know!!!

Im a revenge guy,.

This girl has hung out in an insecure world, being a dick to the guy while using him to buy all this stuff that still does not make her happy! She wants more and more but is less and less appreciative.

I would say ..SURE LEAVE....and after your gone...if she calls you asking where this is...or that is...be real nice and deny any knowledge. Tell her it must have got misplaced in the move, but you ABSOLUTLEY DO NOT HAVE IT! Save the issue of asking for it.

Sometimes rings fall down sinks too!
Then really show her and regift it to the next one. Show her how classy you really are.
 

HetroGuy

New member
Apr 6, 2010
523
0
0
So my question is, if we end up leaving each other (which is becoming more and more apparent from her behavior); do I get or ask for everything I have given her to date?
Hell, no ! It's not like you were loaning it to her as long as she put out. (Besides the Gucci bags and clothes just don't do you justice).

If it helps - this is just a small sample of what could have happened if you married her. If that was the case you not only would loose her and her stuff you gave her , you'd loose most of your own stuff too !
 

Anynym

Just a bit to the right
Dec 28, 2005
2,961
6
38
There are two choices: (1) Learn what a Gift is. Gifts were given; they're now hers. If you didn't want to give such a nice gift, then why did you do so? (2) Make yourself out to be a complete ass by asking her to give you a bunch of her own property (namely, the gifts you gave her).
 

keepitup

New member
Sep 25, 2006
99
0
0
Hola amigos,
So I posted earlier bout relationship issues but it feel retarded and I don't want to leave her but no point being in something where I'm giving 100prcnt and she doesn't care....yet she gets pissed when I look at other women etc and says she loves me etc...anyz

So my question is, if we end up leaving each other (which is becoming more and more apparent from her behavior); do I get or ask for everything I have given her to date?

I have spent a lot of $ on her, buying clothes, louis, gucci bags over 5k, and so much more, which depresses me cause its a big sum!!!! So do I want all the items back and being a bitch like she is?!? I'm not sure what to do, cause I don't want to leave her but...ur input guys will be helpful and pls no wise_guy comments here...I'm being emotionally drained so suxs ass....thxs

Cheers
You've been on an escort review board for 5 years. How great a boyfriend could you really have been?

You bought her gifts dude. GIFTS. They belong to her now. Any woman you need to impress with bourgois labels isn't worth keeping around anyway.
 

djk

Active member
Apr 8, 2002
5,953
0
36
the hobby needs more capitalism
Hola amigos,
So I posted earlier bout relationship issues but it feel retarded and I don't want to leave her but no point being in something where I'm giving 100prcnt and she doesn't care....yet she gets pissed when I look at other women etc and says she loves me etc...anyz

So my question is, if we end up leaving each other (which is becoming more and more apparent from her behavior); do I get or ask for everything I have given her to date?

I have spent a lot of $ on her, buying clothes, louis, gucci bags over 5k, and so much more, which depresses me cause its a big sum!!!! So do I want all the items back and being a bitch like she is?!? I'm not sure what to do, cause I don't want to leave her but...ur input guys will be helpful and pls no wise_guy comments here...I'm being emotionally drained so suxs ass....thxs

Cheers
Do what the rich do. Talk to a professional.

In your case, a lawyer. If he advises you that the law allows you to reclaim that property and your situation meets the legal standard, do so accompanied with a police officer. Your lawyer should be able handle the logistics of such a thing.

If the lawyer says its gone forever as the law treats it as a gift, consider it a lesson learned. Going forward, just use and lose em, son.
 
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