Hola amigos,
So I posted earlier bout relationship issues but it feel retarded and I don't want to leave her but no point being in something where I'm giving 100prcnt and she doesn't care....yet she gets pissed when I look at other women etc and says she loves me etc...anyz
So my question is, if we end up leaving each other (which is becoming more and more apparent from her behavior); do I get or ask for everything I have given her to date?
I have spent a lot of $ on her, buying clothes, louis, gucci bags over 5k, and so much more, which depresses me cause its a big sum!!!! So do I want all the items back and being a bitch like she is?!? I'm not sure what to do, cause I don't want to leave her but...ur input guys will be helpful and pls no wise_guy comments here...I'm being emotionally drained so suxs ass....thxs
Cheers
As a general rule-- If you gave it to her as a gift, let it go. If it has some sentimental value to you, you gave it to her conditionally (ie- lent it to her.), or it's yours take it back. Do this for her shit at your place as well.
TOMs guide to breaking up:
1. Box up, trash, or destroy reminders. If shit is bad, chopping up that horrible shirt she gave you can only feel good.
2. You might get to the 'Exes with benefits' stage but that's not a short term thing. Take a hard line on communication in both directions. No calls, no letters, no emails. Doubly so if you're drunk or high. None of those visits where you fall into the sack. Write that sort of thing off until you've had some combination of a future rebound / real relationship.
3. Instead of wallowing, fill your new free time with 'things you always wanted to do'. With a strong bias toward social things that get you out and meeting people. Be the 'I'm game for it' guy.
4. Family and friends will (usually) support you, but: a) The act of them supporting you will often involve them panning your ex, which can often feel hurtful in it's own weird way, b) your wallowing will get tedious, so do #3 above, if for no other reason it will give you something to talk about.
5. "The best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody" is true, but it's only true in so far as you're doing it for yourself, not to 'show the ex' on some level. This takes time. Even if you're seeing a pro, this should take some time. Nobody wants to see some sad loser on a desperate crawl to get laid.
Ending a serious relationship is a lot like coping with a death. No matter how hard you try not to be overly co-dependant, codependency emerges. Even if you're fed up (for good reason) at the time of the breakup, later comes the sense of loss. It will get better. Particularly if you are proactive with your new found free time. If it doesn't, seek help.