Said she has been busy. Will not probe further. Just booked back to back sessions and she responded with heart emojis. Hoooraaaay!
Balancing a crush on an SP
- Thread starter Mangoman0052
- Start date
If I had just one wish in life it would be to go back about 18 months and read what you wrote. It's like you knew her...
I definitely agree with the bit about neurobiology. I am also going to agree with the bits about history of trauma and mental health challenges as it does take a certain personality to be able to engage in prostitution and it not destroy them.
That said, I am going to push back at the stereotype of substance abuse, severe emotional outbursts, and possible violence.
A significant amount of people who engage in sex work do so to get ahead in other areas of their lives (well at the least others that I know from similar "model minority" backgrounds).
With the increasing normalization of sex work via Only Fans, Instagrram "models" who are also pay for play escorts, we are not just seeing people who have been kicked out of their family home who now need to support themselves or some equally unfortunate situation.
Sex work is increasingly a choice (albeit it may be a constrained one - had every opportunity been available to that individual it is not one they would have chosen).
I am no longer a sex worker, but I know that I am not unique in that I had done the work on my emotional self to address issues that stemmed from childhood and I never abused substances (I never consumed legal and illegal substances for the most part anyway - unless you want to consider my consumption of chocolate an addiction).
There definitely were clients I would have dated. Many more that I definitely would not have.
I used sex work to finance my education, and was enrolled in post-secondary schooling throughout my time as a sex worker (whether that be as a sugar babe or escort).
Now that I am outside of the industry, I would have zero hesitation dating someone who has seen sex workers and tend to date men who are into very sexually adventurous women. By the third date, the man will be told about my experience in the sex trade and it is up to them to decide if they want to continue to see me. No one has ever stopped seeing me and they have never thrown it back in my face. It has been a non-issue. That said, I also don't date men from the same cultural community so that may make a difference.
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I wanted to share an alternative perspective. I haven't read earlier posts to see what was written.
Sex workers are people too. Many would leave sex work for the right partner, and some men also don't have an issue with their partner engaging in sex work (calling all of you stags out there).
In my case, my SP crush gave me all this info. I truly thought I was 'in.' In hindsight, I'm thrilled she didn't go for me, because I could never have handled her lifestyle. But man, back in that moment, the most insane addictive sex I will likely ever experience....so I have those memories anyways.
I bet no one close to you knows you are on a sex review platform. But here you are throwing accusations indiscriminately. You wouldnt be here if you were able to connect emotionally with others outside of this community. This is your sanctuary.
The description you provided of women in the sex industry is hopelessly outdated. My regular who disappeared and reappeared after 6 weeks got into the sex industry to pay for her upkeep and school fees. She is now a full fledged EMT. She is continuing to be a sex worker on the side after they deducted almost 40% from her paycheck. Tax free sex worker income is too good to give up lol.
Schmuz was giving an informed view of what he perceived to be the real genesis of attachment experienced by others here. He could be a clinical psychologist or social worker or union leader or project manager and be dealing with scores of people. You don't know anything about him which makes you the one throwing accusations indiscriminately. He made some generalizations about women in this industry. And they are generalizations. As Nazia pointed out, it doesn't apply or reflect her personal experiences or goals while doing sex work. So No, it doesn't apply to EVERYONE in the industry but that doesn't discount the neuroscience behind what he stated. He wasn't attacking your sex worker so not sure why you felt the need to denigrate him. Do better.
I really respect the fact you would feel open to disclose this to a potential partner. Obviously, a lot better coming from you then in an unforeseen way from other sources. That's incredibly ballsy as I've had conversations with sex workers who would never, ever, ever disclose their working history to someone they were seeing in a serious way.
I'm not sure how many women (sex workers or not) would date a guy they knew for a fact saw sex workers. Part of the reason I stopped was, during a very profound conversation I was having with my regular at the time, she admitted that she generally had a very low opinion of men. Although she tried to backtrack immediately (as she *knew* me better than others...whatever that means). I knew in that moment I didn't ever want to be with someone in any capacity who didn't respect me whatsoever. That killed it for me; it was my Madeline Biscuit moment.
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He's hardly throwing accusations when he clearly meant "tend to" as in not all of them. It's no different than some strippers who use the funds to pay off their education like some who end up even being doctors. And not all guys are into this hobby because they can't emotionally connect with others because some have dated women or married to who end up eventually showing narcissistic traits and other things like over the top abuse. Not saying guys aren't like this either cause I've heard from tons of women in the dating world who dated the so-called bad boy types or men who just ended up being abusive and usually only caring mostly about themself than their partner or kids if they have them or even dig control. If a SP ever wants to date ya make sure you have the funds to fulfill her wants and lifestyle otherwise good chance she'll move on to someone else. Quite a few ladies who do OF also blow up especially if they aren't making the funds they dreamed of. And that's the issue with any gender because some people want a certain lifestyle or something because they see others through social or their friends group and reality works a lot different. Most average joe will hardly make it that far financially and some people are heavily in debt then folks get shocked hearing about them ending it or something because they tried to either fake it or show off too much. I know a great guy who re-married because his wife left him wanting a better lifestyle financially and to this day she's still single as a middle class worker. And he basically owns his house as a middle class worker by working his butt off. They both financially are pretty much in the same spot.
Some people make certain choices by what they see or how their friends circle influences them luring them to make certain choices at times and it doesn't get most people that much further in life.
You're all giddy like a pig cause your SP came back after a break for whatever reason and you don't wanna share her info. That's all great, but your mindset acts like "she's yours". Then prior to that you where all bummed out and emo about her leaving the business for a while. Don't take it personally but you need to relax doing this hobby when the SP has shown 0 signs of even wanting you as her man. Good chance if you're tipping well like you said she could end up just using you and others for more as part of her business. Cost of living is going up and people are working 2 or 3 jobs at times and making money tax free is a great way for someone to enjoy life with the wants they desire. In the end it's about survival and thinking with a clear head especially with who you even end up dating and starting a relationship with.
There's a few older women on dating sites who are the issue and it's not hard to tell after even talking to them why they are still single or they end up dating the same types that bring them down. Cry wolf and don't learn.
Some people make certain choices by what they see or how their friends circle influences them luring them to make certain choices at times and it doesn't get most people that much further in life.
You're all giddy like a pig cause your SP came back after a break for whatever reason and you don't wanna share her info. That's all great, but your mindset acts like "she's yours". Then prior to that you where all bummed out and emo about her leaving the business for a while. Don't take it personally but you need to relax doing this hobby when the SP has shown 0 signs of even wanting you as her man. Good chance if you're tipping well like you said she could end up just using you and others for more as part of her business. Cost of living is going up and people are working 2 or 3 jobs at times and making money tax free is a great way for someone to enjoy life with the wants they desire. In the end it's about survival and thinking with a clear head especially with who you even end up dating and starting a relationship with.
There's a few older women on dating sites who are the issue and it's not hard to tell after even talking to them why they are still single or they end up dating the same types that bring them down. Cry wolf and don't learn.
There is no freaking neuroscience behind anything he said. The only relevant neuroscience is the fact that he is hiding his membership of this platform from his close ones. In other words, the physician should heal himself first. And until he informs those close to him that he is a member of a sex review platform and that it is normal to do so, he should STFU is what I am saying. Cheers
I don't understand your argument. So he should publicly declare himself to others that he's on this platform in order to have a view? He's not writing an essay and he doesn't have to reference sources. If someone is interested in what's said (i.e. limbic system stimuli), they can easily search online or (what's sadly rarer these days) read a book. This is a message board - not an academic journal of study.
What's wrong with 'hiding your membership'? Everyone here could be considered a type of deviant to some degree. And pretty much everyone here uses a pseudonym. Even the sex workers use fake names (Sorry, she's not REALLY called Esmerelda) and I can't fault anyone for doing that. I'm quite sure you're not a real 'prince' nor do you tell your close ones that you're a 60+ year old grandpa ploughing some 20+year old sex worker for $$$.
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His argument is nonsense. We all are hiding here who we are. Sex workers advertising on whatever platform don't generally use their real names either. Nobody needs to be open about what they do to who they know. Sure some may judge and say something because perhaps religion or some conversative mindset plays a role, but it's not 1927 or something. Lots of people these days are into poly and other things. There's tons of non-SPs who sleep around at times before even wanting to settle down with someone. And a few guys in this hobby clearly do it because they perhaps don't want to get married again or be in a relationship after what they have gone through and it's a great way for them to fulfill a desire which is a sexual want. And some folks have certain fantasies where a SP can help fulfill that. Most of us here don't got an issue telling others which SPs provided good service because even with you not telling us who she is she still has a line up of people. You don't even know how big or small her client list is. You'd probably be bummed out again once she takes another break from this hobby. Maybe she'll find someone with deep pockets around her age group and wants to settle and just ghost her clients. Maybe you'd be bummed out if you found out she's doing 10 or 20 dudes a week. And the neuroscience remark does play a factor at times people can get sexual with someone and think they are even in "love" and later on they'll realize it wasn't even love, but they got caught up in the moment and infatuation along with other stuff played a role. Stuff like that can happen when you're intimate with anyone, it's human nature.
He doesn’t know anything about us. He doesn’t know a majority of us or even half of us. I bet even a quarter of us. Making generalizations wrong for a reason. He should do better.
I cant speak for Schmuz or anyone else, but I make one generalization about this hobby. The men trade money for sex. The women do the reverse. It's the only one I make.
An sp doesn’t owe you or us anything in that context. You’re income to them. That’s it.
This is when you see that some guys here are mad that they pay for it so they have to.come up with some sort of weird rationalization to place themselves above the people they pay. Like they don't have issues themselves. Being here paying for us yet looking down on us is a big one but if that helps you sleep at night right?!
I genuinely care about my clients, I do not display any narcissistic behavior, I was raised in a normal home and occupied a "normal" job most of my life. You do need a special personality to do this job but you don't need a special set of issues. As a person, I refuse to fall under the pressure of getting married, having 2,1 children, a golden retriever and a bungalow in the suburb. I like the perspective of a childless life, dating multiple men that treats me well enough without engagement and live a life of travel and discovery. I have also great friends in a out of the industry AND a good family support system that are enough for me when it comes to the amount of love I need in my life. I am tired of being reduced to a certain psychological profile based on the retrograde bias of society because IT MAKES PEOPLE FEEL BETTER TO LOOK AT SW LIKE THAT. Enough.
It's 2025. Would be great if we would evolved a bit.
I genuinely care about my clients, I do not display any narcissistic behavior, I was raised in a normal home and occupied a "normal" job most of my life. You do need a special personality to do this job but you don't need a special set of issues. As a person, I refuse to fall under the pressure of getting married, having 2,1 children, a golden retriever and a bungalow in the suburb. I like the perspective of a childless life, dating multiple men that treats me well enough without engagement and live a life of travel and discovery. I have also great friends in a out of the industry AND a good family support system that are enough for me when it comes to the amount of love I need in my life. I am tired of being reduced to a certain psychological profile based on the retrograde bias of society because IT MAKES PEOPLE FEEL BETTER TO LOOK AT SW LIKE THAT. Enough.
It's 2025. Would be great if we would evolved a bit.
