After A Sexual Encounter You Find She's Transgender....

[managee]

really telling of what?

Reputable SP standing up for our co workers that have it harder than us and get call "him, it , etc" because they are trans and omg had a bottom surgery.
Its telling that you need to check yourselves and your values. Its 2018, there is men, women, trans (both way), gender fluid, non binary and more. We finally have the way to express what it mean.
Can be a bit hard to catch I agree, but dont dismay people . its not penis=male vagina=female. far away from this

See my previous posts.

I’m with you on this one. Hence the “Right?” (If this was in-person, you would have heard the raised tonal inflection, that clearly indicated agreement.)

—

I guess I’m just not understanding their arguments.

Maybe I’m reading too deeply into this, but from what I see this thread is showcasing public omissions of the fears of deeply and overtly homophobic men whose egos couldn’t possibly handle some ‘tranny’ trying to steal their hypermasculine hetero essence, and would like the law to protect them from being subjected to such tragedy.

Or maybe they worship a god that’s super cool on sex with SP’s, as long as they weren’t born male, and this would shatter their piousness?

Or maybe they’re just terrified they’ll enjoy it, and magically turn gay?

In any event, I hope they all continue to warn all of their sexual partners, or people they find attractive enough to pay for the opportunity to have sex with them, that they’ll charge them with assault if it turns out they aren’t genetically female, or whatever they do to ensure their encounters are always with true xx. It must really set the mood during their trysts.

Maybe one day they’ll make an instant test for y’all, so you can finally monger without the fear of, well, whatever it is you’re afraid of...

—-

As stated above, there is already a law that forces disclosure for infected people before sex. If you’re this scared or angry that a sexual encounter might leave you with HIV/AIDS, why put yourself at-risk by participating in a statistically high-risk activity like hobbying?

Should there be a law that forces anyone who participates in the sex industry to disclose your involvement before any sexual encounter (civy or P4P)? I imagine any of the guys here with SO’s would be opposed to this kind of disclosure, which obviously would be designed to effectively limit the spread of HIV/AIDS and STI’s even more than the current laws.

Being trans doesn’t necessarily mean she’s got HIV/AIDS. There’s inarguably a risk of infection when having sexual encounters with members of the LGBTQ2 community, as there is when having sex with people who have sex with multiple sexual partners.

 

[fall]

See my previous posts.

I guess I’m just not understanding their arguments.

Maybe I’m reading too deeply into this, but from what I see this thread is showcasing public omissions of the fears of deeply and overtly homophobic men whose egos couldn’t possibly handle some ‘tranny’ trying to steal their hypermasculine hetero essence, and would like the law to protect them from being subjected to such tragedy.

Or maybe they worship a god that’s super cool on sex with SP’s, as long as they weren’t born male, and this would shatter their piousness?

Or maybe they’re just terrified they’ll enjoy it, and magically turn gay?

In any event, I hope they all continue to warn all of their sexual partners, or people they find attractive enough to pay for the opportunity to have sex with them, that they’ll charge them with assault if it turns out they aren’t genetically female, or whatever they do to ensure their encounters are always with true xx. It must really set the mood during their trysts.

Maybe one day they’ll make an instant test for y’all, so you can finally monger without the fear of, well, whatever it is you’re afraid of...

Well, it is not about the fear or masculinity. It is about disgust. I will feel violated and disgusted if the girl I had sex with will tell me she was born a male. When I have a sex with a girl, I assume she was born a girl and I do not need to ask her about it. Let's say, you a a Muslim or a Jew and your religion does not allow you to eat pork. You went to a restaurant and ordered a beef burger and fries. You really liked the fries and you tell the waiter "those are the best fries I've eve had". And the waiter told you: our chef has a special recipe: he adds pork fat to the cooking oil when he makes fries. Is it OK? You ordered a fries fully expected them to be cooked in vegetable oil and got pork in them (analogy: you had a sex with a girl and you fully expected to be a naturally born girl). Or is the fact that they taste good is good enough to say it is OK (analogy: the sex with a trans girl was good during the sex, so, I should not freak out after the fact). Yes, I am homophobic white male and there are very many of us out there. You can call this homophobia a religion if you want to, but for a trans girl not saying that she was born a male is the same as for a restaurant not saying that fries are made on the pork fat. Yes, customers could have asked, but given a very small probability of a pork fat in fries as well as small percentage of trans in total female population, a prior warning is in order.

 

[managee]

Well, it is not about the fear or masculinity. It is about disgust. I will feel violated and disgusted if the girl I had sex with will tell me she was born a male. When I have a sex with a girl, I assume she was born a girl and I do not need to ask her about it. Let's say, you a a Muslim or a Jew and your religion does not allow you to eat pork. You went to a restaurant and ordered a beef burger and fries. You really liked the fries and you tell the waiter "those are the best fries I've eve had". And the waiter told you: our chef has a special recipe: he adds pork fat to the cooking oil when he makes fries. Is it OK? You ordered a fries fully expected them to be cooked in vegetable oil and got pork in them (analogy: you had a sex with a girl and you fully expected to be a naturally born girl). Or is the fact that they taste good is good enough to say it is OK (analogy: the sex with a trans girl was good during the sex, so, I should not freak out after the fact). Yes, I am homophobic white male and there are very many of us out there. You can call this homophobia a religion if you want to, but for a trans girl not saying that she was born a male is the same as for a restaurant not saying that fries are made on the pork fat. Yes, customers could have asked, but given a very small probability of a pork fat in fries as well as small percentage of trans in total female population, a prior warning is in order.

Nope. It’s not the same.

Firstly, you need to be strictly relgious for me to buy this comparison. Unless your religion condems sodomy or sex with men, yet is also silent or encouraging of the stuff I assume most of us come to TERB to discuss, it doesn’t work.

And I’m not sure what any religion explicitly says on sex with women born genetically male who have surgeries and HRT to make them so passable that you willingly engage in sex with them. No hits in the Bible for “Gender Reassignment Surgury” or “Hormone Replacement Therapy.”

===

I’m fascinated by this.

In the scenario you’re all concerned about, does the sex occur with a pre-op girl or post-op girl?

I’m guessing she’s attractive enough for you to want to have sex with her. If you’re paying for it, I guess she’s got to be really attractive. And in this scenario you find out AFTER the (paid or unpaid) sex that she was trans?

So you meet this sexy woman, had sex, presumably finished, then as you’re bathing in the afterglow, she drops the bomb?

If she’s pre-op / transgender, you just had sex with someone you’re attracted to with a penis and didn’t notice. Well-done. If you need a law to keep you safe, I pity you.

If she’s post-op / transsexual, you just had sex with someone you’re attracted to that used to have a penis, and didn’t notice. Had she not told you her secret, you would have gone the rest of your life thinking sexy thoughts about someone born a man. Shouldn’t you be thanking her for coming clean?

Either way, how does this encounter harm you as a person in any quantifiable way?

 

[squeezer]

In my mind, if you have a penis (particularly if it's larger than yours) pop up unexpectedly during a date you thought was a woman - that is assault in every selfish aspect as the act of slipping off a condom is during sex. You are putting your own selfish interests ahead of the victim and intentionally subjecting someone to an experience they do not expect nor want.

Transgenders have rights but they don't gain the privilege of trampling on other peoples rights. While I may not react violently - I wouldn't blame those that do. Under that kind of sexual assault - we all react differently.

120% agreement! Unfortunately if this PC lunacy keeps up in the next few years it will be normal for women born men to advertise their services and not disclose their true birth gender.

 

[peepingtom]

Its 2018, there is men, women, trans (both way), gender fluid, non binary and more. We finally have the way to express what it mean.

This here proves the point that there are different categories of people. trans is a category into itself like man or woman. If a man doesn’t want to have sex with a trans, trans should give full disclosure so man has opportunity to decide to go for it or not

 

[peepingtom]

OK, how about this: sex between two consenting 15 year old teens is legal. But what if a biological 47 year old women identify herself as 15 year old girl? Is she allowed to have sex with 15 year old boys? Or even worse: What if 15 year old girl identifies herself as 20 year old women. Does she need to tell me her "biological" age instead of her "self-identified" age before I consent to sex with her?

Great example.

 

[renuck]

That is a good example. One example I was thinking about is I used to be a child... should a SP be concerned with having sex with a minor since I used to be one? Yes that's a ridiculous statement, but I think so is worrying about the transgender thing too. Informing you would be the courteous thing to do but legally I have my doubts. It's still consensual sex.

If the person is pre-sugury then I understand being seriously pissed off not being told but then again you agreed to sexual contact with the person in front of you (form a legal point of view). I can't at all see how this is a parallel to stealthing. The first may make you uncomfortable or make for an embarrassing story, the second opens up the lady to STDs and unplanned pregnancy. Nowhere near close. Just my opinion.

 

[managee]

Wouldn’t the apt comparison be me going to someone’s house or to a restaurant and saying “no fennel” or buying a meal that advertises as “fennel-free.” I hate fennel, it makes me sick just thinking about it. It’s not an allergy, I just don’t tolerate it in my meals.

After eating my entire meal, the host or waiter tells me “there was fellel in that meal.”

Even if I felt completely betrayed, and despite not noticing while eating, just because I feel that my mouth and stomach had been “assaulted” it doesn’t make it so.

This, nor the trans scenario, fits within our definitions of assault in Canada.

I might ask for a refund, or never dine with that host again, but I’m not sure what else I could possibly do or expect in-terms or available recourse.

===

Currently, you cannot legally change your birth year because of transagism or whatever the DailyWire or National Enquirer, or Jerry Springer Show is calling it, and I imagine this will stay the same going forward in Canada. So, she’d be a 47 year old who had sex with a minor, or you just had sex with a minor.

If the BP age says 19, and it turns out, her legal age was 15, how do you feel you’d do in court?

A crime has been committed.

Unlike in the scenario as presented in the OP.

 

[james t kirk]

Well, it is not about the fear or masculinity. It is about disgust. I will feel violated and disgusted if the girl I had sex with will tell me she was born a male. When I have a sex with a girl, I assume she was born a girl and I do not need to ask her about it. Let's say, you a a Muslim or a Jew and your religion does not allow you to eat pork. You went to a restaurant and ordered a beef burger and fries. You really liked the fries and you tell the waiter "those are the best fries I've eve had". And the waiter told you: our chef has a special recipe: he adds pork fat to the cooking oil when he makes fries. Is it OK? You ordered a fries fully expected them to be cooked in vegetable oil and got pork in them (analogy: you had a sex with a girl and you fully expected to be a naturally born girl). Or is the fact that they taste good is good enough to say it is OK (analogy: the sex with a trans girl was good during the sex, so, I should not freak out after the fact). Yes, I am homophobic white male and there are very many of us out there. You can call this homophobia a religion if you want to, but for a trans girl not saying that she was born a male is the same as for a restaurant not saying that fries are made on the pork fat. Yes, customers could have asked, but given a very small probability of a pork fat in fries as well as small percentage of trans in total female population, a prior warning is in order.

It's your responsibility to ask when ordering food if it contains any pork or porcine byproducts.

Similarly if you are that freaked out about the possibility of getting with anyone transgender, it's your responsibility to ask.

If you don't, then you have only 1 person to blame. You.

 

[essguy_]

Here’s a few tips for those who may be caught in this situation, given the number of posts that show a LOT of worry about this:

1. Do a penis check (theirs) because you can never be too careful. If yes, leave. If no, proceed to 2.
2. Ask: “Is this pussy for real?” If no, leave. If yes, proceed to 3.
3. Ask: “no, really... did you used to be a guy?” If yes, leave. If no proceed to enjoy sex.

I do this before EVERY encounter because you can never be too careful. Of course there is still the risk that she lied and will say “Wanna clean up now, Hun?.... oh, and by the way I used to be a guy.” But I live with that fear.

 

[IM469]

Similarly if you are that freaked out about the possibility of getting with anyone transgender, it's your responsibility to ask.

If you don't, then you have only 1 person to blame. You.

Really ?? - the odds of encountering a tgirl is so great, that the onus is on you to check ? There is no inclination on the Tgirl that the unsuspecting male would not appreciate a surprise encounter with an boner ??

I might be very old fashion and not progressive in my sexual feelings but I don't like to be anywhere near some else's erect dick. I actually find it repulsive. That is my personal preference - I don't care what other people like - it's none of my business and I don't care. If a tgirl intentionally misleads me through a natural dating cycle - I'm not a happy camper. The idea that I should assume she could be a tgirl is deffinertly strange to my (apparently) archaic mindset.

So help an old guy out here ... I'm on a date .. I tell her she looks beautiful tonight .... by the way ... are you a man in drag ???

 

[AndyRickman]

Interesting points from both sides.

End of the day, my personal view is that a transgendered person should disclose. I don't think, however, there would be legal ramifications if they did not. The reality is that there are many men who would feel violated, and while you can call them homophobic or any other names, undermining their feelings is just as bad as undermining the feelings of the transgendered person. I understand why transgendered people have a fear of disclosing, and i hope that one day we will be in a society where there is no need for that fear, and therefore everyone can be open and make their own personal choices with all of the information available.

 

[fall]

Interesting points from both sides.

End of the day, my personal view is that a transgendered person should disclose. I don't think, however, there would be legal ramifications if they did not. The reality is that there are many men who would feel violated, and while you can call them homophobic or any other names, undermining their feelings is just as bad as undermining the feelings of the transgendered person. I understand why transgendered people have a fear of disclosing, and i hope that one day we will be in a society where there is no need for that fear, and therefore everyone can be open and make their own personal choices with all of the information available.

100% agree. Surely, no legal actions or laws are required. But any SP who used to be a male should disclose her past gender so that the clients can make an informed choice. Same goes for MPs and strippers. Otherwise it is pure deception. When it comes to a civilian dating, non-disclosing is similar to lying. Not illegal but highly unethical.

 

[essguy_]

100% agree. Surely, no legal actions or laws are required. But any SP who used to be a male should disclose her past gender so that the clients can make an informed choice. Same goes for MPs and strippers. Otherwise it is pure deception. When it comes to a civilian dating, non-disclosing is similar to lying. Not illegal but highly unethical.

While we're on the subject of pure deception.. I want real ages, and real pictures in addition to the Yes or No under "Did I use to be a guy" section in all SP ads.

 

[fall]

While we're on the subject of pure deception.. I want real ages, and real pictures in addition to the Yes or No under "Did I use to be a guy" section in all SP ads.

Yes, it would be nice, but being past male is binary information (yes/no) while the age is continuous. Even ethnicity is usually advertised, while ethnicity can be mixed too. E.g., what if I want to have sex with a Caucasian girl and make appointment with someone who advertised as "slim blond student" to find out that she is actually an ebony girl with coloured hair. At least at that time I can walk away, but still, should she stay in her add that she is ebony? It seems all girls do state their ethnicity if they are not Caucasian (no indication of ethnicity = Caucasian by default). Why? To avoid any confusion and because it does not hurt their business: lots of man like girls of different colour. But tgirls do not do the same. Why? Because it will hurt their business: there are not many man who want to have sex with tgirls. So, it is a deception, and it is done for profit and not because that they feel uncomfortable stating who they were in the past to strangers)

 

[essguy_]

We both know there is a big difference between a lady saying she is 22 when she is in fact 26 vs a lady not saying she used to have a penis. Your point is only valid if all data is of equal value, which it is not in this case.

Yes, it would be nice, but being past male is binary information (yes/no) while the age is continuous. Even ethnicity is usually advertised, while ethnicity can be mixed too. E.g., what if I want to have sex with a Caucasian girl and make appointment with someone who advertised as "slim blond student" to find out that she is actually an ebony girl with coloured hair. At least at that time I can walk away, but still, should she stay in her add that she is ebony? It seems all girls do state their ethnicity if they are not Caucasian (no indication of ethnicity = Caucasian by default). Why? To avoid any confusion and because it does not hurt their business: lots of man like girls of different colour. But tgirls do not do the same. Why? Because it will hurt their business: there are not many man who want to have sex with tgirls. So, it is a deception, and it is done for profit and not because that they feel uncomfortable stating who they were in the past to strangers)

Sorry, but maybe I'm missing something or responding to different ads. Is this deceptive tranny thing a rising problem? You hardly ever read a review saying: "Looks 7, Service 8 and oh, warning: she used to be a guy." I've never left an appointment questioning the SP's sex. The OP was asking a hypothetical. Does it really happen that often?

 

[onthebottom]

I thought this thread was unintentionally funny, now I have a serious question.

Does gender matter? It shouldn’t matter legally, it doesn’t determine sexual orientation. Why is anyone that concerned?

 

[canada-man]

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00429-017-1600-2

Sex differences in brain anatomy were already present in one month old infants.

 

[AndyRickman]

Sorry, but maybe I'm missing something or responding to different ads. Is this deceptive tranny thing a rising problem? You hardly ever read a review saying: "Looks 7, Service 8 and oh, warning: she used to be a guy." I've never left an appointment questioning the SP's sex. The OP was asking a hypothetical. Does it really happen that often?

Not that i am aware of. I'm sure there are stealth TS escorts out there, but there was a recent post in the indy review section which i believe kicked off this discussion. For me its a pretty academic discussion.

I'll pose an interesting question: What happens if tomorrow one of the "superstars" of the TERB scene revealed she was post op TS. Can people honestly say it would not hurt her business?

If it hurts the business - it reinforces that this matters to clients, and therefore not disclosing is a deception that would bother a lot of people
If it doesnt' hurt her business - Then what is the harm of disclosure?

Either way, i believe it should be disclosed.

 

[wigglee]

Well, it is not about the fear or masculinity. It is about disgust. I will feel violated and disgusted if the girl I had sex with will tell me she was born a male. When I have a sex with a girl, I assume she was born a girl and I do not need to ask her about it. Let's say, you a a Muslim or a Jew and your religion does not allow you to eat pork. You went to a restaurant and ordered a beef burger and fries. You really liked the fries and you tell the waiter "those are the best fries I've eve had". And the waiter told you: our chef has a special recipe: he adds pork fat to the cooking oil when he makes fries. Is it OK? You ordered a fries fully expected them to be cooked in vegetable oil and got pork in them (analogy: you had a sex with a girl and you fully expected to be a naturally born girl). Or is the fact that they taste good is good enough to say it is OK (analogy: the sex with a trans girl was good during the sex, so, I should not freak out after the fact). Yes, I am homophobic white male and there are very many of us out there. You can call this homophobia a religion if you want to, but for a trans girl not saying that she was born a male is the same as for a restaurant not saying that fries are made on the pork fat. Yes, customers could have asked, but given a very small probability of a pork fat in fries as well as small percentage of trans in total female population, a prior warning is in order.

If you are a homophobic male it is up to you to disclose that fact and inquire about their gender. Why should they assume that you are a homophobe. Most MTF transgendered people are more feminine by nature than many natural born females ( tomboys for instance).